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"baba...com'on baba...let's go to lawn" ansh held shekar's hand ...

they walked towards lawn , ansh's lip trembled, tongue dried, his body shivered...  no he can't walk anymore, his knees gave up, he doesn't have enough courage to let out all truths ...how can he say things with is a painful story of his sister?? won't it stab his heart again restoring again??😭😭... above all whatever janaki is , above all she is his mother, whatever he just can say but that little love for giving birth will always suck him for sure😭😭..

He closed his eyes & opened only to see shekar's cold yet curious eyes waiting for ansh's lips to move...he didn't knew how to start??!😭😭

"can't you still trust me?" shekar broke out atlast while his lips felt cold indicating his sickness..

"baba... (hugged shekar at once) I don't know how to start baba... it will take me once again to the situation which will break me for sure baba... I can't see my didi again in pain baba...that angel never deserve to be lived in this hell baba..." ansh cried helplessly like an small kid hugging his baba in safe way like he is protecting himself from outer world...

"I know it will be tough for you beta, but still don't you think being a father I deserve to know that.... I should have known it before but atleast can't I know even now??" his question floats in air making even plants & birds to cry,...

"I know I failed to open up with you, I failed to give you love, I failed to see your pain, i just assumed that I know you very well, that my assumption  lead my princesses life to hell, to a disaster..." shekar cried again , but ansh never even thought of stopping him...sometimes letting out all hard tears are very much important... even this cute little boy knew that...

"I was engrossed in work, I failed to see cruelties in janaki's face, fear in swara's eyes, unexpessable pain in both my children's silence, I just worked hard to get succeeded in business & I did but I failed all the way in life , all the way  being a father, I never was a good father.... I never understood you...I never was a good father... I never.... was...a ....good ....fath...." he started to repeat last sentence when he started to loose his consious & those became a low mumble , ansh ran to him before his head hits the floor...

he lost his consciousness ...ansh sprinkled water on his face, but he was deelpy out of consciousness..

"baba ......" his 2 tears fall on shekar's face, shekar opened his eyes slowly , he got up at once & Sat on floor...

"say ansh before I die" he said making ansh keep palms on shekar's mouth...

"baba ..I ..will ...say... everything...." he wasn't sure what he said...

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"baba please speak up..." swara cringed for nth time..

"baba ...I'm sorry I should have said before itself but my conscience refused seeing your overwork" swara tried explaining him as everything still  went in vain...

" (wiping tears) okay baba ...if you want, you can punish me but don't give this silent treatment baba it kills baba.. (tears broke out again )...I will die baba if you stop talking to me" swara started with determination but ended up crying again ....

swara turned her face  towards bed & covered her face over bed , bedsheets drenched up totally with her precious tears...ansh couldn't help than crying himself... swara startled at once hearing a weeping whisper... she without bothering to wipe her tears she crawled in knees to Him!...to shekar.... who is weeping!!

"baba....." swara turned him gripping his shoulders, so that he face her..only his face is filled with water, that precious water called tears...from that moment when he heard all truth , when he came to know the black shade of janaki, from when he came to know all the pains his princesses beared, his priority endured, he never shed even a single drop of tears but now , now after exact three hours he is crying shedding all his tears out like anything, he landed up in swara's arms catching her arms giving bone crushing scene  ....he is crying like crazy...he is blaming himself for all the deeds his so called wife has done!!

"I'm sorry princess...I'm really sorry... (sniffing hard) I never knew this, nor I bothered to know about this, I am not a good father I admit, but today I proved myself that I have never even been a good human, I proved myself a monster, I broke all my love's dreams, desires into unmendable pieces.... how she dreamt to bring up you!? (weeping) she wanted to grow up you in golden spoon" he tightened his grip on her maybe in fear of loosing her or in pain or maybe in both...

"baba.... your love was, is & will be a greatest asset of mine... you know I used to forget all those pains whenever I talked to you..." she is speaking out from the bottom of her heart showing her piou love towards him which made him feel guilt again...

"I don't deserve to be this much loved princess" he thought while 2 tears rolled down his cheek which landed up in swara's shoulders making it wet...

"baba....maa won't spare  me if you cried like this" she  trird to  giggle but it too sounded painful , such is the condition of room😐...

"will she spare me princess? (nodding himself in big no like mad) noooo....(breaking down again) she won't princess...she won't (sitting in knees) she won't talk to me , she will curse me ....she will be angry on me...she will...(tears are flowing like anything) " his words left incomplete due to cry...with each passing time his guilt increases, it is killing him, he is collapsing from inside like a bulldozer is digging a muddy hill...

"(crying louder) princess, but why I failed to notice this love of yours? ( sniffing) I never .....shit....(sniffing hard) oh shit I failed that too with zero marks in this highest exam called life"  he is breaking again and again thinking about each & everything now....he didn't knew that it's too late😭😭

"you never failed baba.... someone forced you to fail... I know you very well...my maa explained about you very well in her diary.. (smiling) you know I always adored reading that diary... it was my bestie which had those power to make me smile whatever the condition maybe... those writings it contains are very precious ... it filled my those void called loneliness" she isn't crying now, but tears never failed to hit the ground....

slowly shekar felt dizzy ..he isn't sure that he is hearing everything... he closed his eyes to clear his vision, his eyes were filled & vision was blurr...
he spokes out composing himself

" princess, will you plant a kiss on my head (bending to her height) I know I don't deserve to be kissed by those precious lips (shedding tears in guilt) but still princess don't say no....I will die.." ... before he could complete she kissed his forehead, his cheeks & hugged him hard making his suffocate to breath itself so that he can't continue to talk further...

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"I don't even know how to talk with you janaki... I regret each moment in my life with you..." shekar lowered his tone feeling his head & heart heavy...

"sorry shekar.. I won't repeat again... I'm really sorry" she started to shed her tears....

" urgh janaki...urgh...STOP SHEDDING CROCODILE TEARS....ONCE I BELIEVED IN THOSE FAKE TEARS & NOW YOU ARE MAKING ME FEEL LIKE KILLING MYSELF FOR MY MISTAKE..." he shouted at her but those shitty women is trying to cool him without any shame...I don't know whether she  still thinks that she deserves forgiveness or something like that...

"I know I did mistake , it's unforgivable I know ...but please stretch your heart & give me a chance... don't you think after this much I deserve forgiveness for my mistake.." she is pleading...waw she has very ability to melt the stone with her acting ability...

"hmm (sarcastic smile) don't you feel shame to call it as mistake?? ( janaki stares him) IT'S A MISTAKE JANAKI WHICH DESERVES FORGIVENESS BUT WHAT YOU DID ID NOT A MISTAKE AT ALL!!" janaki raised her head only to see him burning..

" WHAT YOU DID IS A SIN...AN UNFORGIVABLE SIN..." he shouts at her & broken down like a broken glass..he is crying crawling down...his heart is heavy which never wants him to stay in peace... he can't forgive himself😭😭😭...

what we say that  like shameless creature...one is a live example, janaki... she came forward to pull his up like she is helping him to stand...

"shekar..." she was interrupted by him

"stop your tongue right there...if possible try to tie ur tongue inside ur mouth or else I know how to tie it out...from this very second I don't want to hear a single letter spitting out from your so called tongue..." he pointed his index finger at her ,his voice was venomfilled...his eyes turned blood red , hecis looking like an angry lion but very next second he broke again like a kid in floor crying badly...even a wall which surrounds his cried seeing him like this ...😭😭

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"whatever maybe didi..I feel you are lucky" ansh said looking at sky ,his hands folded under chest..swara changed her direction of sight from sky to him...

"atleast you were born to some good mother" his eyes turned glassy while he immediately turned his face again towards sky...

she pulled him immediately to a hug...he shed tears silently on her shoulder...

"whatever may be ansh, she loves you... never blame that ...." she said in low whisper while he breaks the hug & cuts her...

"i know didi she does... but I hate that love which she can give to me but not for my beloved didu...I hate everyone who bad eye's you...I hate didu .." he gulps his tears ,his words cracked due to high emotions...

"anchu..." she simply called out, pulled him & planted a affectionate kiss on his forehead..

"I always thought you as my mother because only you gives me happiness & pure honest love" he kisses her cheeks & hugs her again...

she remained silent... there prevailed a silence...

"whatever didu mother's love is joy able one...cherishing one...I wish I too had got such chance to enjoy mother's move like other kids do" he tightened his grip on her hands ...she couldn't answer for this... couldn't console him now...she remained silent while both of theirs eyes turned glassy , they assured themselves pressing theirs hands against one another... they remained silent till don't know when, staring at the sky they are floating in their old black days....
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a quite long emotional chapter.... I myself had tears somewhere writing this...hope you all like it

how was the chapter??

guys how do you want to punish janaki?? please let me know here...

I don't think punishing by ignoring & by words won't effect her ! such is her shit called character here..😑

fill your life with beautiful colours & fill the star below with orange colour...