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CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
17 seconds.
season two, episode twenty-five.

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Billie, Meredith, Izzie and Cristina were sitting on the bar at Joe's, sipping beer and watching over at Derek and Burke, who played darts on the other side of the pub while they also shared glances in the girls' direction every now and then.

"He's picturing my face. He's totally picturing that dart puncturing my skull." Cristina laughed amusedly as Burke launched a few darts towards the board. The man did a little gesture after with his bicep, so Cristina mocked him. "Look at that."

Next, it was Derek's turn to throw the darts. He looked over at the girls, smiling briefly at a very distracted-looking Billie before his eyes landed on Meredith, whom he glared harshly at before launching a few darts vigorously.

"Derek-" Izzie laughed at Meredith. "-Derek is picturing you."

"He called me a whore. He lost the right to picture me," the blonde answered.

At the words, Billie snapped awake, "Wait, what? He did what?"

She locked eyes with her person briefly, but she simply gave her a look Billie understood, so the brunette clenched her jaw and rolled her eyes.

"God, I'm so sick of men. I swear, they're making the whole male gender look bad with their big-ass mouths." She now glared in Derek's direction over the rim of her beer glass, although she was also referring to another particular man.

"So I fall asleep during sex, so what?" Cristina shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly, looking over at Burke. "Ass!"

"Ass!" Meredith tossed a peanut shell.

Just then, Alex approached them, so Billie grabbed her beer and moved along to a stool further away from him, whispering under her breath, "Ass."

Alex looked at her briefly, since he had been secretly hoping they'd get yet another chance to talk, but when Billie moved away without so much as a glance in his direction, his promise crumbled down to his feet. However, he played it off.

"Oh, Isobel Stevens has finally left the hospital. Does this mean heart patient dude finally kicked it?" Alex asked amusedly, but when Billie scoffed at his crass remark, he immediately regretted it.

"I'm sorry, this section of the bar is for surgeons. We don't socialize with gynecologists." Billie squinted her eyes at him, dedicating him an innocent smile.

The three remaining girls laughed and so did Joe, to which Alex drew a tight-lipped smile and then walked away. In his place, George walked into the bar, followed along by Callie. Izzie jumped to her feet.

"George!"

"Hey," the man replied. His eyes landed on Billie, who gave him a small smile over the rim of her beer. "Hey, Bil."

"Hi," she said wholeheartedly. "Hi, Callie."

Izzie's expression fell at the sight of the woman in front of them, "Hey."

"Hi, Callie."

"Hi, Dr. Torres."

The ambient turned hostile for a second, uncomfortable. The three girls, excluding Billie, joined in on a staring competition with Callie, who glared at them harshly. Finally, George, noticing the tension, moved between them all.

"Uh, gin and tonic, and a beer."

Meanwhile, on the other side of the bar, Derek threw one last dart to the board, and Meredith threw one last peanut shell on the table.

☆

Early morning, Billie stood under the doorsill to Denny's room. It took a second for the man to notice his niece's figure in front of him, but when he finally did, he cleared his throat and his lips melted into a wide, dimpled smile. As usual, the sight warmed up Billie's heart.

"Hi, Den." Billie smiled, walking up towards her uncle's bed.

"Hey, kid," he replied weakly. "What's up?"

"Eh, not much." The intern shrugged, jumping onto the bed, but sparing a glance towards the red thread around her ring finger which she still hadn't bothered to cut off. "You?"

"Well, other than just sitting around watching TV, there's not much else I can do." He shrugged, then gestured towards the screen. "Actually, this CSI crap is kinda entertaining, although Horatio does get in my nerves a bunch."

Billie chuckled, "Wow. Your life is officially more pathetic than mine."

They laughed together for a second, intern half-sat on the bed next to her uncle. Their eyes peeked over at the TV, which kept flashing the original show, until a topic Billie was oblivious to was finally brought up by Denny.

"Kid," he said, using the nickname he'd adopted for her a long time ago and placing his hand on her knee. "There's something I have to tell you."

"Okay, you know how much it freaks me out when you talk to me like that, so don't." Billie laughed softly. However, her joke was left unanswered by one of Denny's usual smiles, so her expression fell noticeably. "It's serious, isn't it?"

He took a coaxing breath, "I signed a DNR this morning."

Again, the same feeling. The feeling that told her she was stuck in a world that kept spinning around her, but she was standing in the middle, unable to move, unable to stop... unable to get out. Her breath hitched in her throat.

"What?" She laughed disbelievingly. "Denny, you're on an LVAD. That could give you up to two years right there. And- And still, we will get you a new heart soon, you know that."

"Billie," he cut her off. "Maybe I won't. Maybe the wait is too long. And... and I'm done. I'm tired, kid."

The girl paused, "I'm not gonna let you make this decision. I'm sorry, but it's just not gonna happen."

"Kid, the decision is already made, just-" Denny stopped, allowing a moment of silence to linger between them both before he finally continued his speech. "I believe in heaven, Bil. And if I had to choose between this life here and one in heaven... I choose heaven."

Billie stayed quiet, looking at him from her spot curled up against him. Her eyes were already glossy, but no tear was streaming down her cheeks and no sound was leaving her mouth. She simply limited herself to lick her lips briefly, then land her head on his shoulder, where she looked straight ahead into the absolute nothingness pensively.

☆

After a few work hours which Billie used to distract her mind, filled with meaningless patients, none which required long-term follow-ups, the girl landed on the cafeteria. She sat by Meredith and Izzie and tossed her pager on the table, although lacking a food tray since she was too swirled up to even think about eating. The latter also seemed to be a little down, so Meredith looked between them both.

"I can sense the vibes, you know?" she said.

"What vibes?"

"There's no vibes."

Meredith gave them a look which called them out on their crap, "Okay, out with it."

Billie and Izzie glanced at each other, as if universally agreeing who'd speak first. After a short second, the brunette glanced at her person.

"Denny signed a DNR this morning and he gave me, like, a shitload of crap about how he wants to go to heaven and meet God and play cricket with him, but it's just bullshit. 'Cause we all know he's gonna get a heart eventually, right? Maybe not today, or tomorrow. But he will. I'll even kill myself and give him my heart if that means he gets to live," Billie blurted out at once, taking a deep breath in the end due to the fact that she had forgotten to breathe throughout the entirety of her speech.

"Wait, haven't you heard?" Izzie cut her off with a frown.

"Heard what?"

"Mercy West's got a heart. Burke and Alex already left to get it and they'll be performing the surgery tonight."

The world stopped. Once again, the world stopped.

☆

Billie paced vehemently in an empty trauma room, striding from side to side with her phone ringing tones against her ear. It was the third time she'd called, but still no word from Alex. It was the fourth call that he answered.

"Yes?"

"Alex?" she was quick to say, voice shaky in anticipation.

He paused, surprised that it was her calling him, but not disappointed nonetheless, "Billie?"

"I- You- Is- Is it true?" she stuttered out, unable to hide her evident nerves which brimmed from every corner of her voice.

He stayed silent for a second and his voice was silent when he finally spoke, already understanding what she was referring to, "Yeah, it is. Denny's getting a heart."

At the words, Billie let out a shaky breath. She pressed her hand against her mouth and smiled into it, then looked up at the sky and thanked her mother for everything. Just because.

"Thank God," she breathed out. "Thank God."

☆

Alex had hung up the call with a smile on his face, although begrudgingly due to Burke's calls for him to hurry. They scrubbed in and put on their masks, ready to start the organ recovery, but as they walked into the room, they realized the donor was crashing.

"What the hell happened to my donor?" Burke frowned.

"He went into v-fib," one of the nurses said as two others performed CPR and squeezed the Ambu bag in order to provide the man on the table with oxygen.

"I can see that!" The Cardio attending walked up to the table. "Give me the paddles. Karev, take over compressions. You gave epi?"

"Three rounds and we shocked him twice."

"I'm gonna hit him again at three sixty," Burke said as Alex performed the chest compressions. "Clear!"

One final shock, and nothing. The man's beating heart faded away together with Alex's hopes for Billie's happiness.

"He's asystolic."

"I don't get it," the intern said. "I mean, if the guy's already dead..."

"And now his heart has joined the rest of him," Burke finished his sentence, sighing out into his mask.

"So we can't use it?"

"No, Karev, we cannot use it. The muscle is dead. The heart is useless."

The room went silent. Crap, Alex thought, crap.

But amidst the silence, nobody noticed how Burke's face fell in evident realization. He thought for a second before he was bolting out of the OR, hearing Alex's call behind him, but ignoring it regardless. He pushed everyone away.

"Get out! Out of the way! Move, move, MOVE!"

☆

Oblivious to what was happening within the walls of the other hospital, Billie jumped into Denny's room with a huge smile on her face. The man looked up at her, amused at the sight of a very excited-looking Billie.

"Yeah?" he said in anticipation, knowing a big revelation was coming his way.

"I-" the girl began,"-have some excellent news for you."

"Am I getting a better television? This one is ridiculously small and it doesn't get the porny channels."

"Gross." Billie rolled her eyes, but smiled even wider. "Denny, you're getting a heart."

His smile froze, just like everything around them. Just like the world stopped spinning. Dimples delved on each of his cheeks, Denny looked up at his favorite person and closed his eyes, savoring the moment.

"I don't mean to be dramatic and all..." he said slowly. "But I'm gonna need you to repeat that. And you say it slow, because this is one of those moments in life that I'm gonna wanna remember in detail."

With a smile, Billie waltzed towards him and then leant in, "You, Mr. Denny Duquette-LeBlanc Jr., are getting a heart from Mercy West. Dr. Burke and Alex are already on their way to get it."

He laughed with such deep emotion that Billie had to laugh too, feeling the happy tears welling in her eyes.

"I'm getting a heart?" Denny asked shakily.

"Unless you don't want it."

The man sang out in utter happiness, "Oh, honey!"

He wrapped steady arms around her and pulled her in for a hug, which Billie reciprocated gladly. She heard his current heart beating in her ear rapidly, distantly, but so full of joy that she felt the emotion bubbling in his veins, so she couldn't help but feel even happier.

When they finally pulled away from the hug, Denny squinted his teary eyes.

"Kid, do you... do you happen to still keep your mother's box? The one with all... all the journals, and all the stuff she enjoyed collecting," he asked warily, but with a smile on his face.

Billie nodded, unsure where his statement was coming from. Denny grinned even wider.

"Could you bring it to me? Could I... could I burrow it? Maybe, a you're-getting-a-new-heart gift?" He looked up at her innocently.

The girl hesitated, but when she saw his pleading eyes, her lips faded into a smile and she kissed the top of his head, "Of course, Den. I'll be out of here in a second."

☆

That afternoon, as Meredith and Cristina sat on a gurney in the hallway updating charts at the same time that they ranted about their personal drama, a very distraught-looking Izzie approached them.

Her ponytail, once brushed up correctly, was now tearing, allowing strands of her blonde hair to frame her face. Her hands shook by her sides evidently and she sulked her way towards her friends as if she was hiding something.

Izzie swallowed, "Uhm, I- I told a lie... to Dr. Burke."

"Good for you, fight the power," Cristina complimented.

"No! No. I need, uhm..." she began, but then cut herself off. "God, I can't think. I- I can't... I don't know what to do, what do I do? There's this guy ahead of Denny on the transplant list."

Meredith and Cristina finally looked up form their charts, noticing Izzie was in much worse shape than they had originally believed. They'd never seen their friend so out of pace.

Meredith sighed, "He'll get the next heart, Iz."

"No! He needs to get this heart!" Izzie yelled.

Cristina, evidently surprised at the blonde's little outburst, looked up and eyed her warily, "He'll probably get a heart at some point, but as long as Denny's doing well on the LVAD and there's someone ahead of him on the transplant list, he's not gonna get this heart, okay?"

The girl stayed quiet for a second. Her panting chest managed to come to a halt and she took a deep, coaxing breath, nodding her head before she was turning to the supplement cart behind them. She rolled out a crash cart together with a bunch of pills and other devices.

Cristina glanced at Meredith, "Okay, if I was gonna pick someone who was gonna go psycho and shoot up the place... it's Izzie."

☆

"What's all that?" Denny asked with a laugh as he sighted his girlfriend walking into his room with a very loaded crash cart.

Izzie was nervous when she looked at him, "Heart stuff."

"So you're putting this heart on me in my room? I didn't know transplants were so informal." He chuckled again. "Also, where's my kid? I need to see her before my big moment arrives. She said she'd be back with some stuff for me but it's been, like, an hour."

"There m- There may not be a heart, Denny," Izzie said. "Somebody at Mercy West might get it instead."

The man's smile faded completely, allowing space for a grimace to take over his features, "So this isn't gonna happen... again?"

"Not necessarily." Izzie shook her head as she started to pace around the room nervously. "I have been over this and over this and it can't be a lie and it can't be fake. We need charts, we need test results. We need UNOS to believe us, so it has to be real."

Denny frowned, "What are you talking about, Izzie? Where's Bil?"

The blonde, once again ignoring his latest statement, walked up to his bed and sat by his side in order to find more intimacy in the shaky conversation.

"In order for you to get the heart, you would have to get worse. Much worse. And you would have to do it very quickly."

"Well, I don't see that happening. You see that happening?"

Izzie paused and sighed, "I am gonna make it happen."

☆

With the phone against his ear, Alex sighed when the call was finally answered. On the other side of the line, the tones morphed into static, and soon, into Meredith's voice.

"Yes?"

"Meredith," Alex said. "Is Billie there with you? She hasn't been answering my phone calls and I really need to talk to her."

"Well, I... I saw her leave the hospital. An hour ago, maybe two. Why? What's wrong?"

The man sighed and hesitated, hand on his hip, "I don't think Denny's getting this heart."

Meredith stood quiet on the other side of the line, unsure of what to answer. Alex huffed.

"Okay, just- If you see her, please, please, tell her to call me."

☆

"Izzie," Denny called out as the blonde shut the blinds. "Izzie, stop and listen to me. We're not doing this."

"Don't worry, you're not going to die," the blonde reassured uselessly, only making Denny's grow even more nervous. "I will be here the whole time to make sure of that and that's what this stuff is for."

"This isn't about me dying, alright? This is wrong."

"You've waited a year and a half to get this thing. Who knows when the next one is gonna come along?"

"I'll take my chances."

"No!" Izzie cut him off. "It may be too late by then."

"Then it's too late, alright? Get this stuff out of here!" Denny demanded in regards to the many pills and devices Izzie was unpacking from the crash cart.

"Denny! Please," the blonde interrupted him again, speaking harshly as in order to smack some absent sense into him. "You have to do this."

"No, Izzie! I'm not about to steal a heart from another man's chest! Not to mention, this will be the end of your medical career."

"I don't care about my medical career," she whispered.

"Alright, you know what? This has gone on long enough, I'm calling a nurse."

"Everyone who is entered into the transplant program is clocked in to the second. To the second, Denny. You were clocked in to the second and so was the other guy, I checked with UNOS. The difference between when you entered the program and when he entered the program is seventeen seconds," Izzie said shakily. "That's it, Denny. Seventeen seconds. I mean, it's not even the length of a decent kiss. So this other guy? I'm not saying that he doesn't deserve this heart. I'm sure he does, but so do you! So do you! And if you tell me any more crap about heading towards the light or looking down on me from heaven, I swear I will kill you myself right now!"

"Izzie, I'm gonna be alright," Denny said softly. "Alright? You don't have to worry."

Izzie laughed humorlessly, eyes brimming with soon-to-be shed tears, "What about me? What about me when you go to the light? No! I get it, okay? I get it. You'll be okay, you'll be fine, but what about me? So don't do it for yourself, do it for me! Please, please, Denny! Please do this for me! Because if you die... oh, God, you have to do this. You have to do this for me or I'll never be able to forgive you!"

☆

"George," Meredith called out.

The man in question looked up from the clipboard in his hands, humming in response, although his evident amount of distraction at the moment didn't allow him to notice Meredith's serious expression. The blonde closed the door of the on-call room behind her.

"Have you seen Billie?" she asked warily, voice slow and gentle.

George frowned, "No, why?"

"Well, she's been gone for like two hours or so, and she's not answering any of her calls. I thought, maybe... well, maybe you'd seen her. I really need to talk to her."

At the words, the man looked up, eyebrows furrowed up in concern. He flicked his gaze from Meredith's eyes to the door behind her, then swallowed.

"Billie's not answering her calls?" he asked. Meredith shook her head. "I- I'll try calling her too. I'll let you know if I hear from her."

The blonde nodded, "Thanks."

☆

"Denny," Izzie said with the pair of scissors on her hand. "If there really is some kind of big glowy light-"

"I'll try like hell to stay out of it," he smiled melancholically.

"Exactly."

George, who had been sought to for help after a long debate between him and Izzie, shook his head, "I don't like the sound of this."

"Just make sure nobody comes through that door," the blonde cut him off, stopping him before he could take any further steps.

She said nothing as she finally brought the scissors closer to the LVAD wire. Denny's glossy eyes were fixed on her solely, like the world revolved around her. George stopped her.

"What are you doing?"

Izzie paused, "I'm stopping his heart."

☆

That Thursday night, at eleven forty-five p.m., Preston Burke arrived at Seattle Grace Hospital in order to double-check the untrue facts stated by Izzie Stevens through the phone.

At eleven forty-nine p.m., Preston Burke was accidentally shot by the author of a restaurant shooting. He was found bleeding by Miranda Bailey at eleven fifty p.m., after having heard the gunshots from the inside of the hospital.

At eleven fifty-six p.m., an ambulance rolled into the station, flashing blue and white strobe lights and carrying a Jane Doe, victim of a car crash estimated to have happened over thirty minutes ago.

At midnight on point, Izzie Stevens smiled at Denny Duquette, and then cut the LVAD wire.