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CHAPTER SEVENTY-EIGHT
sympathy for the parents.
season six, episode nineteen.

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"Oh, sorry to hassle. I was told I'd find you here," he said. "Hi, Lizzie."

Jackson, who stood behind Billie, promptly peeked at the man over her shoulder. Tall though he was, he had Ian's same sky blue eyes and two dimples indented on his cheeks where he smiled nostalgically in the presence of his littlest daughter. Billie had never quite seen him in such state of raw beauty and wellness.

"Look at you, all grown up," the dark-haired man said, eyeing her post-surgical scrubs with unfathomable pride. "A real surgeon, like your mother."

"D— Dad," Billie muttered, frozen on her spot with her hands in front of her, unable to move. "What are— What— What are you doing here?"

"You called," Frank smiled, "so I came."

Billie didn't quite know what to say. She was standing in front of her father, the man who she'd feared would beat her bloody ever day of her life since she was ten—she'd thought about the moment they would reencounter with each other and she'd expected fear, discomfort, but now that it was happening, all she felt was... warmth. This was a new man, a sober man. A man she did not recognize.

Billie remembered her father's former beauty prior to his years of misery, and she could even see a trace of it hidden under a veil of old age and sickness recovered. There was color in his eyes.

"You have no idea how happy I am to see you," he said, and he appeared to want to approach her, hug her, but he didn't. His eyes fell on Jackson behind Billie. "Hi."

"Hey." Jackson replied awkwardly. "Jackson Avery."

The older man reached out a hand, which he stretched. "Frank LeBlanc, pleasure to meet you. I take it you must be Elizabeth's friend, yes?"

"El— Elizabeth?" Jackson frowned, confused. Frank simply smiled and the younger man seemed to finally understand. "Oh, yes, Elizabeth. Yes, yes, a friend."

Frank nodded, then looked back at his daughter. "I was hoping we could talk, dear. I mean, if you want to, of course."

Billie opened her mouth to say something, but faced with a lack of words and an empty throat, a weird sound came out of her mouth instead. Jackson eyed her sideways with a frown until she was finally able to word her sentence.

"Ye— Yes," she stuttered. "I get out at eight, we can... meet."

"There's nothing I want more than that."

Billie could see the sincere glint in his eyes—maybe even the glimmer of a happy tear. However, when he brought his hand up to her, to touch her, she couldn't help but take a step back out of mere reflex. Frank appeared immediately repentant of his own action, as he pinched his eyes shut in regret.

"I am so sorry. Christ, how stupid of me," he apologized immediately. "Could I... would you let me hug you?"

Billie moved her mouth, trying to speak. "I— I... not for now, I don't think so."

Although he seemed hurt, Frank didn't expect anything else other than that, so he nodded comprehensively. "Of course."

Billie wasn't able to utter any other word, so she took one last look at her father, then pivoted on her heel and left in a hurry, dying to get away from that tense atmosphere that surrounded them. Jackson was left alone standing in front of Frank.

"I, uh... I— I have to go... see my grandfather," he muttered awkwardly. "Excuse me."

Then, he bolted out.

☆

"Billie," Jackson called after her once he found her standing in the middle of the conference room, hands on her hips.

"I can't believe this. He's here? He showed up?" She turned to him, her face distraught in anguish as she ripped off her disposable scrub cap.

"Hey, calm down, baby. You called him here, what did you expect?" he soothed her, smoothing his hands up and down her arms to somewhat calm her down.

"What did I expect? I don't know, anything but this!" she yelled. "Man didn't bother to show up to any of my piano concerts or school plays, but he's here, he showed up! And I mean, he's sober. He's actually sober. I thought he'd smell like vodka or something but he's just... sober."

"Yes, Billie. He's sober. The man who didn't show up to your piano concerts or school plays was a drunk man. Your father isn't drunk anymore."

"I— I..." Billie shook her head, unable to fathom what was going on. "My father is here."

"I know."

Jackson brought her in to hug her tightly, caressing her hair to soothe the racking anxiety out of her. She breathed heavily against his chest, on the verge of falling into a crisis.

"Could you send him away? Please, I'm not ready for this yet," Billie begged. "I know I told him we'd meet, but I— I can't. I need some time to prepare myself for this."

Jackson broke apart from her to look at her face with a frown. "Maybe you should tell him that."

"No, no. I can't. Please," she repeated. "Tell him I'm not ready. I need a few days. If he has a place to stay, tell him to go there and— and I'll— I'll ring him when I feel ready."

Jackson hesitated, but finally, he nodded.

☆

Billie woke up the following morning to a text from Ian.

Ian: So Dad's in town. Everything okay?

She simply replied with a thumb-up emoji, unable to put her feelings into words, let alone into a message. She didn't bother to wake up Jackson before she got up and started getting ready for her day. She felt she needed to work a little to take her mind off of things.

Billie had really thought she was ready, which was why she'd called her dad. But actually seeing him, being in front of him and catching sight of something so different yet so scary, was... she wasn't even able to explain it. 

Quickly, once she was ready, Billie didn't care to have some breakfast before she was rushing out the door towards the hospital.

☆

"So then a couple days ago, we're at the grocery store, Gary and I," Mrs. Clark explained from her spot on the bed as April, Billie and Webber stood there listening. "And the next thing I know, I'm flat on my back in the frozen food section."

"She fainted," Gary added.

"And I've never fainted. I've never seen anybody faint. I don't believe in fainting."

"Well," Billie laughed as she finished her work-ups, "fainting's pretty much real, apparently. Did you hit your head?"

"I would have if this one hadn't caught me." She smiled, softly stroking her husband's arm, who laughed.

"Mrs. Clark is anemic and guaiac positive, so there's definitely some internal bleeding, which looks like it's coming from—"

"A friable tumor near the ampulla of Vater," April interrupted proudly.

"Yes, thank you for that, Dr. Kepner." Billie shot a dirty glance in her direction.

"Dr. Swender told us the biopsy showed the cancer was back, but she said you might be able to take it out." Gary nodded hopefully.

"There's a chance I won't be able to go in as deeply as I need to. But I promise to do everything I can," Webber said.

Gary's face seemed to acquire a complete, desperate sadness. "Anything you could do..."

"We appreciate it, Dr. Webber," Mrs. Clark said with an apologetic smile towards her husband. "Thank you."

☆

Billie ran into the waiting room following a page she'd received from Meredith. There, sat, she sighted Meredith and Alex alongside a man she didn't recognize.

"Mer, you paged?" she asked once she was close enough. Her eyes fell on the man. "Who's this?"

The man immediately stood with a smile, reaching her hand out to her. "Aaron."

"Uhm... Billie," she introduced herself hesitantly, estranged by his smile and weird resemblance to someone.

"This is Alex's brother," Meredith concluded, officially confirming her thoughts.

"What?" She turned to Alex with her jaw hanging open. "You have a brother? And he's nice? And— And he has the same initials as you? Like, Aaron Karev? That's crazy."

Alex grimaced at her as he signed admission papers for Aaron.

"I honestly don't think I need surgery though," Aaron finally told his brother, shrugging lightly to downplay his problem.

"Surgery?" Billie frowned, now confused.

"You do need surgery," Meredith said to Aaron.

"It doesn't hurt that bad."

"You have an umbilical hernia. You need surgery, so shut up and fill out the paperwork." Alex sighed frustratedly.

"Why didn't you tell me you had a brother?" Billie asked him, but received no reply.

"I think surgery's just gonna make it hurt worse. Remember when dad had his gallbladder out?" Aaron reminisced with a soft laugh.

"Stop talking and write!" Alex snapped.

"Write what?" His face fell. "I don't have insurance. Okay? What am I supposed to write?"

There was a short silence.

"Ask Bailey to do it pro bono," Meredith suggested.

"I can't ask her to do that." Alex shook his head.

"Alex, he's your brother."

"Dude, you have a brother," Billie repeated, still shocked.

"Okay, I got it!" Alex snapped.

She looked at him, slightly surprised at his sudden outburst, but it's not like she was expecting anything else at this point. She quirked the corners of her lips downwards as in silent understanding and looked at Meredith.

"You said you needed me?" she asked, wanting to get away from Alex as quickly as it was possible.

"Yes."

Meredith stood up and led her elsewhere.

"What the hell's up with Alex lately? He treats me like shit all the time." Billie looked over her shoulder at the man in question.

"He's just stressed. He didn't tell any of us he had a brother for a reason and then he suddenly shows up? You were bitchy when your brother showed up too."

Billie nodded. "Fair enough."

"Derek asked me to have a baby with him this morning," Meredith revealed, straight-faced.

She chuckled. "Really stupid."

Far behind them, Aaron eyed Billie in the distance.

"She's hot," he said, looking back at Alex with eyes glimmering hopefully. "You think I could—?"

"Don't you even think about it."

☆

Billie then had Mrs. Clark's tumor removal alongside Webber and April. Once the surgery was over, she went down to the waiting room to inform Mr. Clark about the results of the operation.

"Mr. Clark?" Billie came up to Gary.

He jumped to his feet almost immediately. "How is she?"

"She did great in there. She was a total trooper. The surgery went great, we got the tumor. All of it, with good margins."

"Oh, thank God!" The man laughed excitedly. "Dr. Black, thank you. Thank you so much. My wife keeps telling me I need to be more manly about all this. I mean, after all, she's the one with cancer and she's afraid I won't make it."

"I think you're doing just fine." Billie smiled. "You both are. Would you like to see her?"

"Can I?"

"Of course. She should be waking up any minute."

☆

Webber and April were in Mrs. Clark ICU room.

"Tell me everything you did," the man ordered worriedly.

"I was trying to wean her off the ventilator, but then I realized that she wasn't breathing on her own, so I put her back on her previous vent settings, but—" April ranted nervously. "Dr. Webber, what's happening to her?"

He finished flashing a light on the patient's pupils. "She may have stroked out. Get a CT and get the scans to Shepherd. Also, run an EEG. We need to find out right away if there's any brain activity. If there's not, then we need—"

Billie arrived at the room with Gary.

"She looks great," the man said with a teary smile. "Oh, thank God! Dr. Black told me you got the tumor. Thank you so much, Dr. Webber. Can I wake her?"

Gary stretched the attending's hand vehemently before walking past them to kneel by his wife's bed, not even waiting for the doctor's approval, as they all stood frozen in their places. 

"Sweetheart?" he called hopefully. "You still sleeping? The doctors said you did great in there. Honey? You awake? Alison?"

☆

"He got married and he didn't even call us?" Aaron exclaimed.

Meredith didn't seem to know how to handle the situation, so Billie, who stood a few meters away, immediately ran to her aid.

"No, wait, it sounds weird, but it was actually a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing. You know, because of cancer," she said once she was close enough.

Aaron's eyes widened tenfold. "Alex has cancer?"

"No, Izzie has cancer."

"Who's Izzie?"

"Alex's wife. But she's not really his wife anymore, so maybe, just... don't worry about it," Billie said, growing nervous at Aaron's face of distraught concern.

"They got divorced?"

"No, but they— she left. And then she came back, and then she left again."

"Billie! Stop talking," Meredith interrupted her.

"Right."

Aaron ran off, muttering something about needing some fresh air. Meredith glared at Billie, who stammered out a half-assed apology.

"Did Alex ever tell you he's a foster kid?" the blonde then asked.

"What?" Billie frowned.

"Yeah. He had seventeen different foster homes and then he was in juvie for stealing food for his siblings, since his mother forgot to buy some for them."

"That can't be true. Alex would tell me." She nodded her head in a lack of understanding.

Meredith shrugged her shoulders.

☆

Billie and Meredith later found Aaron by a nurses station, so they sat by him trying to calm him down. However, after a few short minutes, Alex showed up.

"Hey," he said, throwing a few charts on the counter.

"Dude, how could you not have told me you got married?" Aaron asked angrily.

"Guys, what if we table this conversation for later?" Billie suggested.

Alex looked at her, his face suddenly dawning in realization. "You told him."

"It wasn't me," the brunette denied.

"It was Arizona Robbins, and it was an accident," Meredith interrupted.

"Yeah, she figured your own brother would already know that you married somebody—"

"See, this is why I didn't wanna tell you, because I knew you'd make a big deal," Alex cut Aaron off.

"It is a big deal! You get married on the spur of the moment, you walk out on your wife—"

"I did not walk out on my wife! She walked out on me. She walked out!"

"You have any idea what mom's gonna do when she finds out? She's gonna go off her meds."

"She's not gonna do anything because you're not gonna tell her. Alright? You're gonna get your free surgery, you're gonna get back in your truck and you're gonna get the hell out of here!"

Around them, a few people were gathering up, stopping whatever they were doing to watch the heated argument between the two brothers.

"Fine," Aaron said. "You know what? I don't need your free surgery. I'll see you."

He began walking away towards the stairs, but Alex followed him angrily.

"Aaron, stop," Meredith called.

"You're not going anywhere." Alex grabbed at his arm, but Aaron snatched himself free with a shove.

"I don't need your crap! You walk out on us, you walk out on your wife." Aaron scoffed. "Like father, like son."

Alex's face turned red and Billie knew he'd burst. In fact, in a split second, he grabbed Aaron by the collar of his shirt.

"Take it back!" he yelled, slamming his brother against the nearest wall. "Take it back."

Aaron head-butted him so Alex stumbled back, holding at his now bloody nose.

"Alex!" Billie warned.

Alex blew Aaron straight across his face.

☆

Alex and Aaron were on the floor, the former on top of the latter as he clawed at his chest.

"Get off me, man!" Aaron yelled.

"Alex!" Everybody yelled, trying to get him to stop.

Bailey came running into the hall. "Oh, no, no! This is not happening! Alex!"

"Get off!"

"Karev!" Bailey yelled, slamming her chart against Alex's back then pushing him back and away from his brother.

The woman stood between the two raging men.

"What the hell is your problem!" Aaron yelled.

"You are!"

Billie wrapped her arms around Alex's chest to hold him back from charging at his brother again.

"What, you hitting people now? You really did turn into dad!" Aaron yelled.

"Dude!" Billie yelled, growing angry herself. "Shut the fuck up!"

Alex wanted to throw himself at Aaron again, but Billie held him back.

"Walk away, Alex," she whispered in his ear. "C'mon, walk away."

He looked at her and she could see the blood dripping down his nose nonstop. However, after a moment, he finally turned and stormed out of the hall in a hurry. Billie wanted to chase behind him, but Meredith stood in front of her to stop her.

"Give him some space," she said. "Okay? Don't follow him."

However, Billie pushed her aside and ran behind her friend.

☆

Billie found Alex in the toilet of the residents' lounge, taking care of his bleeding nose. The sink in front of him was covered in blood and blood-stained toilet paper as well as his scrub top, as he seemed to have bled over it. He noticed her through her reflection on the mirror.

"You're nothing like your father, Alex," she told him. "No matter what Aaron might've said, no matter what you might've done, you're nothing like him. You're not an abuser, you're not a drunk. You're good."

"Yeah, well, get to the point," he grumbled back, holding a mess of toilet paper to his nose, glaring at her through the mirror.

Billie sighed. She walked up towards him, turned him around and then hugged him tightly around the neck. It took Alex a second to react, but he finally melted into her silk touch. She didn't care if he bled over her scrubs.

"I know it haunts you everyday becoming him. It haunts me too," she told him. "But don't let it get to you."

Alex only hugged her tightly. 

☆

"She could wake up, right?" Gary said, still sitting by his wife's bed, looking up at the doctors with hidden hope. "I mean, people wake up from comas all the time."

"I'm sorry. Your wife's coma is irreversible," Webber explained. "Dr. Black, would you explain it please?"

Billie took a deep breath. "Mrs. Clark's scans showed a massive hemorrhage in her brain, and the EEG showed minimal brain activity."

"But that means there's hope, right? Because..." Gary breathed heavily. "At least there's activity. And... and her heart is still beating."

"Only because the mechanical ventilator is breathing for her," April said. "When we turn the machine off, the heart won't get the oxygen it needs and it will stop."

"Why would you turn it off? People can live for years on these machines."

"Mr. Clark, the advanced directives your wife signed specifically requested no mechanical ventilation."

"She filled that form out three years ago when the cancer was first diagnosed. The doctor told her she had six months to live and she held on for another three years," Gary argued shakily. "She'll come back from this too, you'll see. You can't unplug her."

"Legally, we don't have a choice, sir," Webber concluded.

"But... she's my wife. It's my choice."

"It's your wife's choice. And she made it three years ago."

Gary shook his head. His eyes then fell on Billie, who he glared at.

"You said the surgery went fine. That's what you said."

"It did, the surgery went great and we were able to get the tumor out, but—"

"No. No, you're not a doctor, you're a child! And you're useless!" he yelled. "I'm done talking with you. I'm done talking with all of you. Who's in charge here?"

☆

Webber, April and Billie now found themselves in Derek's office, talking with a very distraught-looking Gary, with bloodshot eyes and a trembling lower lip.

"Mr. Clark, I'm deeply sorry for your loss," the Chief said.

"No, no, don't speak about my wife as if she's dead." Mr. Clark shook his head. "She's still here. She could wake up."

"She's not gonna wake up, Mr. Clark. Not with the brain damage she's suffered."

"You don't know that."

"Mr. Clark, if we don't obey your wife's directive, if we ignore her wishes—" Webber began.

"She signed that form three years ago."

"Her health will deteriorate. She'll lose body mass, she'll have no immune system," Derek explained.

"She'll require around-the-clock care," Webber concluded. "And that can become very expensive very quickly."

"I don't care about that." Gary shook his head.

"It'll be no life for either of you. And that's why your wife signed the advanced directive," Derek told him. "She didn't wanna have to live her life this way and she didn't want you to live your life this way."

"Don't you speak for my wife. Don't you dare speak for my wife."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Clark, but the ethics committee has reviewed your case," Derek said. "We are bound by law to obey her wishes."

"If you unplug my wife," Gary began, "you'll be killing her."

Derek pursed his lips. "I'm sorry. You should take all the time you need to call your family to say goodbye."

"There's no one to call. We didn't have any family." Gary looked down at the floor through a veil of angry sadness. "It's just us. We didn't have any kids. It's just me."

☆

Billie was later in the ICU floor, sitting behind the counter of a nurses station, reading a magazine while she waited until it was time to finally unplug Mrs. Clark, when Jackson approached her and placed a carton of orange juice on the counter in front of her.

"Brought you this," he said. "I saw you drinking it before."

Billie noted she didn't actually like orange juice, but she still smiled.

"Thanks, Jackson," she said.

"What are you up to?" The man propped his elbows on the counter.

"Just... waiting to unplug a brain dead patient. Husband's devastated. Quite sad, really."

"Oh, I'm sorry," he said.

"Yeah."

There was a moment of silence. Billie fiddled with the carton of orange juice.

"You know, I took up on your advice, talked to my grandfather. He finally agreed to let me stay here and... everything's good," Jackson said with a smile.

"Oh, my God, that's great!" Billie exclaimed with a laugh, raising her hands up in the air. "Congratulations!"

"It was all you. You're great." Jackson laughed, then paused. "I love you."

Billie froze in her step, her smile quickly fading off her face. Jackson was smiling at her that beautiful smile of his and she just couldn't say anything. She felt her vocal chords had been ripped out of her throat just like they once had been many years ago during that ferryboat accident. She was speechless.

Jackson's pager went off.

"Oh, I gotta go," he said. "Meet you later?"

Billie didn't get a chance to answer. Jackson stretched over the counter, pecked her lips softly and then left in a rush, leaving behind a very stunned Billie.

Alex, who stood a few meters away, had been watching the interaction. Quickly, once she was alone, he ran up to her.

"Hey," he said, then noticed the carton of orange juice on her hand with a frown. "What's that? You hate orange juice."

"Yeah." She nodded, looking at the hallway where Jackson had last disappeared. "Yeah, I do."

"I, uh..." Alex scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "I just wanted to tell you Aaron did fine on his surgery. And I wanted to tell you that because... I know you probably don't care, I just wanted you to know. Because I miss you. I miss us."

His words caught her attention. She looked up at him to find he was looking right back at her, counting the freckles on her face as he used to do before.

"You do?" she asked.

"I do." Alex nodded. "I know you're with Jackson now, I know. I just... I miss my person. And you're my person."

Billie slowly smiled. "I miss you too, Alex. A lot."

"We could maybe go out for drinks sometime. As friends, of course," Alex suggested, fiddling with the sleeve of his lab coat nervously. "I'd like to talk like we used to."

The girl nodded, her small grin morphing into a toothy smile of comfort. "I'd love to."

Alex smiled just as her pager suddenly went off. She checked it to see it was a call from Dr. Webber.

"I have to go, but we'll talk later," she said. "Yeah?"

"Of course, go."

Billie scurried away and Alex smiled at her as she left. However, he found the word friends to have quite a bitter taste to it.

☆

"It's time," Webber told April and Billie, looking at Gary in his wife's ICU room through the glass.

Billie's heart was on her stomach. She felt the attending's hand on her back.

"See it through, Billie," he said.

The girl took a deep, long breath and nodded. Slowly, she opened the door and entered the ICU room, where Gary knelt, holding his dead wife's hand.

"Mr. Clark?" she called.

"Please," he begged.

Billie looked over her shoulder at Webber for some support, but he simply nodded, urging her to go on. Slowly, she drew another long breath.

"I'm sorry," she apologized.

She surrounded the bed to get to the machines.

"I keep telling myself there's a chance she'll wake up," Gary suddenly whispered. "Once you turn off the respirator, there is a chance, even... even if it's just a less than one percent chance, that she'll start breathing again. Right? Miracles do happen. That's what— That's what she always says." He looked down and closed his hopeful blue eyes. "Please. Please, darling, wake up. Please."

"I am so sorry," Billie repeated, then slowly turned around to turn off the machines.

"Please. Please. Please. Please, wake up. Please, wake up," he begged.

☆

Billie arrived back home later that night—not Jackson's apartment, home. It had started to rain on her way back from the hospital to her brother's place and what once was a light drizzle had now become an angry, street-flooding downpour. Billie was glad she'd made it home before the sky fell in on itself.

She was now sat at the couch by Ian. They'd lit a cozy fire by the brick hearth in front of the couch and each of them held a cup of steaming coffee, which they used to warm their hands.

"Are you planning on calling dad?" Ian asked then, interrupting the comfortable silence they'd been submerged in for the past few minutes, each in their own daydream.

"I don't know." Billie sighed pensively. "He might be your dad, but he sure as hell isn't mine."

Ian pressed his lips together. "I know. But you still called him here, and... he is here. Waiting on you."

"I waited on him for ages. Waited for him to get sober and stop beating me bloody every night." She turned to look at him, stern in the eye. "I would've forgiven him six years ago, when I was still stupid enough to have some hope. He spent every day drunk for fourteen years, he's lucky he's not dead. And I know I called him here because I thought that if I really didn't care, then it wouldn't be much of a deal. Problem is, standing in front of him in the hospital yesterday, I realized I do care. Far too much. With the right words, I'd fall right back into his arms. That's why I don't know if I can face him."

"If you forgive him, it won't be wrong," Ian told her. "If you hate him, it won't be wrong. Nothing you do or say could possibly be wrong. He abused you, Billie. He traumatized you. You have the upper hand here. You're the only one that gets to decide what you feel."

"But I don't know what I feel."

He dedicated her a small smile. "You'll figure it out as you go."

Billie nodded, even though her brother's words hadn't done much to soothe her growing anxiety. However, he was right about one thing: she was the only one who got to decide what to feel and what to do. There weren't any wrongs or rights.

Ian's pager went off. He took it out of his pocket and sighed.

"Crap, it's the hospital," he said. "I have to go."

"With this rain? Hey." Billie frowned worriedly.

"Yeah. But I have to. Sorry. Let's table this conversation and continue it once I get back, yeah?"

"Okay. Be careful."

Ian nodded as he stood. He planted a soft kiss to her sister's forehead, left his half-empty cup of coffee on the kitchen counter, grabbed his coat and was out in a second. The sound of the rain enlarged for an instant once the door was open, but quickly dissipated when Ian shut the door behind him. Once she was alone, Billie sighed deeply. 

She heard the engine of Ian's car revving through the open window, then knew when he was gone. The house was in complete silence, save for the sound of the rain and the crackling fire in the hearth. Billie inhaled the savory smell of coffee and wood, then was ready to head up to her room to soothe her tire when suddenly, someone knocked at the door.

Rather, pounded at it, with the anger of a drunk man or the desperation of a homeless one. Billie frowned and thought that if she stayed very still, then whoever was outside would simply go away. However, the door rattled violently once more when the person charged at it three times again.

"Jesus," Billie muttered under her breath.

She walked the few steps between the couch and the door and opened. She frowned at the sight of the person in front of her. 

"Alex?" She frowned. "What are you doing here?"

"I lied," he said, slightly out of breath, cold drops of water trickling down his face. "I lied."

"About what? Alex, you're soaked."

"I lied about being fine with you and Avery getting together," he confessed sincerely. "I lied about all of it. I'm not happy if you're happy because the only person I want you to be happy with is me. And I am not willing to go have some drinks with you as friends. Seriously? Billie, we're not friends. You know we're not. I don't want to be your friend. And maybe— maybe that makes me selfish for wanting you all for myself, but Billie?" He shook his head. "I have loved you ever since I met you. There's not a minute, a second I don't spend thinking of you and the way you make me feel. You are my everything. You're my home. And I was so, so stupid for ever letting you go. For ever marrying someone else when the only person I've ever really wanted to marry is you. And— And I love you. For everything you are and everything we can be—I love you."

Billie stood under the doorsill, frozen in her spot. She watched Alex in front of her with his raw emotions exposed on his skin and water droplets tethered among his short hair and sodding clothes. She watched him and she loved him. 

"I love you too," she said. 

Alex drew somewhat of a relieved smile. He couldn't calm his breathing, as if he'd ran all the way to Billie's house just to get his concealed feelings off his chest. Feelings he'd worked so hard to keep undercover for months and months on end because he'd been so scared to admit them to himself, as they were so powerful, so raw and sensitive and swollen that he feared they'd hurt him. Before, he couldn't fathom love as such. But now he could.

Alex kissed Billie.

Alex kissed Billie so hard, so deeply captivated by her that she felt all of it barging right in, right up against her, effectively winding her. She let him cup her cheeks and kiss her passionately and tug at her hair and remind her what exactly it had been that had drawn her to Alex in the very beginning.

To her own reluctance, she pushed him away.

"Wait," she said, "here's something I need to take care of first. I need to talk to Jackson."

Alex was panting, looking at her, remembering what it felt to be so close to her. He nodded. She drew her biggest smile, caressed his face and then broke apart from him. She grabbed her coat from the rack and rushed out of the house, leaving an ecstatic Alex behind to process his own feelings.