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CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
didn't we almost have it all.
season three, episodes twenty-five.

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Billie, Cristina, Meredith, Izzie and Callie all sat in Meredith's living room, having Cristina's bachelorette party. Izzie was on the couch as she made a flower out of toilet paper; Cristina and Callie were sitting next to the coffee table, the former having the latter write her wedding vows on her hand; and Meredith and Billie were standing up, the brunette wrapping up the blonde in toilet paper to make a fake wedding dress out of it.

"I thought I was gonna hate this party game thing, but it's kinda great," Cristina said, wearing a tiara. Her eyes fell on Meredith's makeshift paper dress. "Can we set her on fire after?"

"That would be fun." Billie's eyes lightened up.

"No, we cannot." Meredith shook her head.

"Okay, these wedding vows are not gonna fit on here," Callie said, struggling to include all of Cristina's vows on her hand.

"Write smaller."

"Hold still please. Vow just became cow."

"You don't need vows on your hand. When you get up there, just speak from your heart," Izzie interfered, placing her toilet paper flower on Meredith's head as a garnishment.

"Izzie, the heart is an organ. It pumps, circulates blood, gets clogged from time to time. It does not, however, speak. It doesn't have tiny little lips on it." Cristina huffed.

"Well, you're all glass totally empty," Izzie mocked.

"I'm gonna like being married! It's the wedding part that's ridiculous."

Billie hummed in agreement as she took a sip from her beer. "When I get married, if I get married, I'm gonna wear a black dress that's short on my ass and I'm gonna hang creepy Halloween stuff everywhere, so that if anybody wants to bring their kids, they'll just freak out and take them home. There will be screaming kids everywhere. It will be so much fun."

"What's wrong with kids?" Meredith frowned.

"Hate them," she said, numbering with her fingers. "They're smelly, loud, needy, and clingy. Nobody needs to ruin their life that way."

The girls all laughed at her drunken statement, but suddenly, all of their pages went off in sync. Callie groaned.

"Party's over," Cristina declared.

"Damn." Callie sighed.

"Hey, mine didn't go off. Piece of crap." The bride pouted.

Both Callie and Izzie immediately left to go to the hospital, but Billie and Meredith stayed behind to remove the paper toilet dress off of the blonde and, since Cristina's pager hadn't gone off, she joined them.

"You can do this, right?" Meredith smiled as Billie spun around her, unwrapping the toilet paper from her stomach.

"Become a piece of chattel? Sure. Looking forward to it."

"No matter what, you're walking down that aisle today. We need you to go down that aisle." Billie arched her eyebrows at her, but suddenly felt lightheaded from all the spinning around, so she couldn't help but accidentally get tangled on Meredith's fake dress.

Cristina squinted her eyes at her. "Is the toilet paper cutting off your circulation?"

"You marrying Burke? It's a sign. A sign that people like us three can do this. Be healthy, be happy. You marrying Burke restores our faith in us," Meredith explained truthfully.

"Oh, I get it. My wedding's about you two."

"Exactly! Glad we're on the same page." Billie grinned.

"Okay!"

"You can do this, right?" The brunette then looked at her sternly.

"I can do this," Cristina replied with confidence.

"Okay."

"Okay!"

"Okay."

☆

The six interns walked into the ER, tying up their yellow trauma gowns.

"Burke," Cristina called out once she saw him, already informed on the case. "You have an aortic dissection?"

"Yeah, I promise I will make it to the chapel in time," he answered, placing a chaste kiss to her lips before walking away.

"I-"

Billie looked at her with a teasing smirk. "You wanted to scrub in, didn't you?"

"Of course I wanted to scrub in," she answered through gritted teeth, annoyed at the fact that her wedding was depriving her from surgery.

Just then, Bailey came up to them. "Okay, listen up. O'Malley, Black, you're with Shepherd. Stevens, you're with Burke. Karev, Addison. Go. Grey, you are with the Chief's wife."

☆

After surgery with Derek on the fourth hiker, in which they had had to remove an ax from his head that was seemingly there on purpose rather than accidentally, Billie found herself in the NICU, where Alex usually hung out, taking care of Ava's baby.

She put on the pink gown to walk into the neonatal wing and, after that, it didn't take her long to find him. He cradled a baby in his arms, which Billie knew belonged to his patient.

"Hey," she said, leaning against the doorsill with her arms over her chest. "I heard someone came looking for your Jane Doe."

"Yeah... she goes by Rebecca now," Alex answered, lulling the baby in his arms softly.

"That's nice." Billie smiled.

"Yeah," he breathed out, then proceeded to stay quiet, but when he looked up and noticed she was still there, he frowned. "Did you need something?"

"Uh, no, I was..." She cleared her throat, starting to fidget with the red thread around her finger which, Alex noticed, she still wore. "I just wanted to ask you if you were gonna be there, tonight. At the wedding."

"Yeah, why?"

She shrugged. "Maybe you wanted to go with me. As my date. But, you know, as friends. I'm gonna be a bridesmaid anyway, so it's not like you're gonna see me a lot. Aside from, you know, on the altar."

Alex looked up at her. "You want us to go together to the wedding?"

"Yeah." She chuckled nervously, but her smile soon faltered. "Is that wrong?"

"No! It's- It's fine, it's-" Alex nodded frantically, putting the baby down in the incubator and then turning towards Billie. "It's okay."

"So... yes?"

He nodded with a small smile. "Yeah, sure. I'll meet you in the locker room at six, is that okay?"

Billie eyed him over with a grin. "Okay."

☆

Billie and Meredith were sitting at a nurses station hoarding the computers when Cristina came up behind them. None of the two girls didn't notice their third friend until she spoke.

"Meredith, Billie."

"Oh, you are not gonna believe." Meredith laughed, eyes fixed on the computer. "Derek met a girl. In a bar. And he flirted with her. And he told me. You know, no big deal. Just thought I should know."

"Meredith, Billie."

"I'm not exaggerating." The blonde raised a finger. "He didn't even hint. He just flat-out told me."

"Meredith, Billie."

"I asked Alex out." Billie nodded. "I mean, I didn't ask him out, like, on a date. That's never happening again. I mean, I asked him to the wedding. You know, chill, casual. We're gonna go to your wedding as friends. You think that's progress?"

"Meredith, Billie, you know how sometimes it's about you and sometimes it's about me?" Cristina cut them off. "This is really, really about me."

Immediately, both Meredith and Billie turned on their seats to meet eyes with their person. In front of them, Cristina stood in her pajamas, with her wedding dress on a bag over her shoulder, rollers curled up along her hair, and... no eyebrows.

"Woah."

Billie stood with her jaw hanging open- "That caught me off guard."

"Mama took my eyebrows," Cristina said. "She took my eyebrows, and now, I am a Burke."

☆

"Dr. Bailey," Meredith called out as they stood in front of their resident, whose eyes were on the bulletin board.

"Yeah, what?"

"Cristina needs to cut something." Billie nodded. "I can't really explain it in a way that won't make you glare, but... they took her eyebrows and they called her a Burke."

"She really needs to cut somebody open," Meredith added.

Bailey slowly turned and looked at her three interns with disbelief, catching sight of Cristina, who wasn't wearing her scrubs, but still stood in the hall with the rollers and the missing eyebrows.

"Yang, go. Do getting married things. Get out of this hospital." The resident slowly shook her head, then proceeded to walk away, but Cristina stopped her.

"Hey!" she yelled, then cleared her throat. "I mean... hey." Bailey stared at her sternly. "You have to let me cut because I'm standing here eyebrow-less with no dignity left. I am a surgeon, Dr. Bailey. But right now, I don't feel like one. I feel... like... somebody else. Do you know what that's like? Not to feel like yourself?"

Bailey glanced over at the two remaining interns before she sighed, giving them the hint that she'd finally caved. "Yeah."

☆

"What time is it?" Meredith asked as her, Billie, Alex and Cristina rushed into the locker room, ready to get changed.

"You got thirty minutes," Alex replied.

Inside the locker room, Izzie and George were already standing face to face, the former in her scrubs while the latter had already changed into his suit. They seemed to have been having a serious conversation, but it was interrupted by their friends, so they simply looked away from each other.

"I'm gonna be late for my own wedding," Cristina grumbled under her breath.

"No, we're not," Meredith denied.

Billie immediately retrieved the dress from her locker and began changing. It was dark brown with a sweetheart neckline, made out of soft silk material that felt like heaven against her skin, accentuating her every curve. She decided to tie her hair up into a high bun, leaving two strands of her curtain bangs loose to fall down the sides of her face, and as for make-up, she simply applied some dark lipstick and mascara, keeping it simple. She jumped into the black stilettos, hooked in her hoop earrings, a few rings, and she was done for.

"This is nice. I've never been to a wedding before." Billie smiled, doing a little spin in front of the full-body mirror to check out every angle of her attire. "Do I look hot?"

"Super hot," Alex agreed with a smirk. Billie blushed. "Anyone got any deodorant?"

"Uh, you're not putting my deodorant in your hairy armpits." Cristina scoffed.

Billie laughed. "I have some in my locker."

Alex smiled and rushed to her cubby, opening it and taking out the bottle of deodorant. On the other hand, meanwhile, George came up to Billie and showed her his suit.

"Closed? Open?" he asked.

"Closed," she answered with security, grabbing the flaps of his suit and buttoning them closed, then wiping some nonexistent dust off his shoulder. "Cute."

"Thanks." He smiled.

"You look great." Izzie looked at George longingly with a tone to her voice that had Billie glaring at her.

However, just then, the Chief's assistant, Patricia, walked into the locker room with a file in her hand. "Moment of truth, people."

"Those our scores?" Alex asked, sharing an excited glance with Billie, who bit her lip with a smile.

"Grey, Karev, Yang, Stevens, O'Malley, Black." Patricia handed the papers one by one respectively.

Billie immediately unfolded hers with shaky hands due to the nerves and, when she saw the big hundred on red at the corner of the page, she immediately smiled widely. "Yeah, so, anyways."

"Yes!" Cristina yelled.

"Right here, baby!" Alex smirked proudly.

Izzie looked down at her paper. "Yes, thank God!"

Cristina and Billie walked up to Meredith, who was silent. "Did you pass?"

"You bet your married booty I did," she said, proceeding to smile widely.

Izzie glanced over at George, who stood further apart with his eyes on his own paper. "How'd you do? Did you pass?"

He hesitated. "Yeah. I'll talk to you at the church."

Billie eyed the interaction swiftly with her paper still on her hand, but her staring was soon cut off by Alex, who stood in front of her. "Hey, I'm gonna check on Ava and I'll be right back."

"Oh, okay. You want me to stay or should I just wait for you at the church?"

"You can go. I'll meet you there, alright?" He smiled briefly before he was walking out of the room.

☆

"Oh, it looks so pretty in there. I see Burke," Izzie said as she peeked through the door into the main hall.

Behind her, Callie, Meredith and Billie adjusted Cristina's dress, make-up and hair. Alex walked in and stopped in front of the bride.

"Yang... the twins look nice in that dress." He smirked.

"Thank you," she replied. "Sort of."

Billie glared at the back of his skull.

Alex then excused himself with a smile in Billie's direction, knowing quite well he'd just made her jealous, and proceeded to leave the room, back into the main hall. Just then, as Billie finished retouching Cristina's lipstick with her finger, the wedding march began playing on the other side of the room, to which bride and bridesmaids became alert.

"This is it," Meredith said. "Okay?"

"Yeah." Cristina placed herself in front of the door, flowers on hand.

"You have the bouquet." Billie nodded.

"Yeah."

"I have the ring," she said.

"Yeah."

"You remember your vows?" Meredith leant onto her person.

"Yeah, I wrote them on my-" Cristina glanced at her hand, but came to a halt when she realized they weren't there anymore. "Oh, my God. I scrubbed in. I scrubbed in and the vows were on my hand. I scrubbed off my vows!"

"Oh, okay, uhm..." Billie cleared her throat, noticing the incoming panic in Cristina's eyes.

"Okay, hello! I- I scrubbed off my vows. I- I can't- I can't do this! I don't have any... I don't have anything on my hand!"

Billie and Meredith shared a look as Cristina handed them the bouquet and began pacing around frantically.

"There are no words in my head. Okay? I have no vows. No vows!" she yelled.

"It's okay, it's gonna be okay!" Billie tried to calm her down, but to no aid. Meanwhile, the wedding march kept going on the other side of the door, along with an audience that was becoming impatient.

"You know what? Stop saying that! Will you say something else?"

"Like what!"

"Say something that is gonna help me!" Cristina panted.

Meredith glanced over at Billie. "Okay..."

"Meredith, Billie, please. You know what? Say something! I don't know, say... say... okay, say what I would say to you if you were me."

"Okay!"

"Good."

"Got it."

"Good, go."

Billie stomped towards her person and stood in front of her firmly. "Stop whining! This is your wedding day. You will go down that aisle and you will get married. Even if I have to kick your ass every step of the way to get you there. You will walk down the aisle, you will get married. Do you hear me, Cristina? We need this. We need you to get your happy ending."

Cristina looked her in the eye and then took a second, but finally nodded. "Okay, I'm ready."

"Alright, then."

The bridesmaids immediately began shuffling around, standing into place behind the bride and getting the train ready, handing her the bouquet and retouching her hair one last time. However, the doors opened and Burke walked in.

Cristina looked up at him. "I'm ready. I'm fine. Billie talked me down. Really, I'm fine. Go, go, go. I'll be right behind you."

Burke glanced at the maids. "I'm sorry."

"Oh, no." She laughed. "I can do this. You know, I had a momentary freak-out, but now I'm fine. I can do this, c'mon."

"But you don't wanna do this," he stopped her. "I'm up there waiting for you to come down the aisle. And I know you don't wanna come. I know you don't wanna come, but that you'll come anyway because you love me. And if I loved you, if I loved... you, not the woman that I'm trying to make you be, not the woman that I hope you'll become, but you... if I did, I wouldn't be up there waiting for you." He paused. "I would be letting you go."

Cristina frowned at him and hesitated. "I am wearing the dress. I'm ready. And... And maybe, I didn't want to before, but I want to now. I really think I want this."

"I really wish that you didn't think," he said. "I wish that you knew."

☆

Billie opened the doors to the hall, followed closely behind by Callie, Izzie and Meredith. She felt all eyes on her as she walked down an aisle that wasn't hers and made her way up to the altar, where Derek eyed her with concern.

She stood above everyone else and glanced at every person in the room before she finally sighed. "It's over. You can all go home," she said. "It's over."

Burke's and Cristina's mothers both looked horrified at the statement, as well as everybody else in the room. But Billie's eyes simply met Alex's somewhere along the crowd and she looked down at the floor, whispering to herself.

"So over."

☆

Billie and Meredith later entered to Cristina and Burke's apartment warily, where the former bride stood in the middle of the living room with puffy eyes. They were all still wearing their dresses from the wedding, including Cristina, whose white dress juxtaposed with the dark aura around her. She turned towards them.

"He's gone," she said softly.

"I... I don't think he's gone gone." Billie shook her head.

"Uh, his stuff is still here." Meredith added somewhat reassuringly.

"No," Cristina walked towards the shelves. "His trumpet was here. His entire Eugene Foot collection, vinyls and CDs. His grandmother's picture was by the bed. His lucky scrub cap was hanging on the door."

Meredith and Billie looked at their person with concern, slowly falling into realization.

"He's gone." Cristina sobbed. "I'm... I'm free."

"Cristina..."

"Damn it," she panted. "Oh, God. Damn it, damn it, damn it. Oh, God!" She began clawing at the choker around her neck, hyperventilating heavily due to claustrophobia. "Oh, God, get this off! Take this off, take this off! Please!"

Billie immediately rushed behind her and unclasped her necklace, hearing her person pant heavily and cry out loud. Meredith retrieved a pair of scissors from the kitchen counter and handed them to the brunette, who used them to cut off Cristina's dress mercilessly.

Once she was out of the suffocating corset, the bride was finally able to breathe deeply. Billie hugged her tightly from behind and placed her chin on her shoulder, soothing her with hushes and soft words in her ear; Meredith, on the other hand, hugged Cristina from the front, and together, they allowed their person to break down in their arms, ending this chapter of their lives forever.