shawns p.o.v

we enter the tour bus and i automatically sit down. i take out my phone and see i got a message from my girlfriend. Weve been dating for a few months now. i cant say i love her but i feel something towards her. 

Venessa: hey....we need to talk

what does she want? i hope everything is okay. she better not be breaking up with me. 

i start taping with my hands shaking.

Shawn: what? are you okay?

Venessa: oh, im fine. i just wanted to tell you that i moved on. i found someone better. 

what? no.no.no.no.no

i thought she cared for me. i thought she loved me. why? 

i sign, turn off my phone and rub my hand through my hair.

why is this happening? ughhh. i pick up my phone and start typing only eager to see who it is.

Me: who is it

venessa: a high school friend. dont worry. my planned worked. i got famous.

what? she used me for fame? 

i then realized the tears running down my face. i look around and dont see anybody there. i get up while wiping my tears. "guys are you here?"i ask my voice cracking from my current melt down. 

"were in our beds? why? are you okay?" ian asked. "yah, im fine" i say almost as a whisper.

i make my way to my bed and lay down. i just want someone to love me. someone who understands me. some one who wont judge me. i thought she loved me. i thought those "i love you" were true. they were just empty. she left me for someone better. 

i cry harder at each thought going through my head. My cries becomes louder every minute. i start shaking. 

"shawn! whats wrong?" i hear a voice say but cant understand who it is. 

"sh-she broke up with me" i say between sobs. 

"she bro-broke up with me"

"sh-she u-used me"

"what did i even do!?!?" i scream while crying. My body shaking even harder. what did i do to deserve this? i dont know. right then i feel two arms wrap around me. i calm down at the touch. showing me that somebody cares. i open my eyes and see alyssa. what? i thought she hated me. 

my cries calm down and i calm down. breath in and out shawn. dont die. 

"im sorry" i say apologizing. i look up and see alyssa and john staring at me. ian frowning. 

"explain" alyssa says to me as why i through a fit.

"vanessa broke up with me. she used me just to be famous" i explain.

"i knew it. we all warned you shawn. you just didnt listen" ian says to me with john agreeing. i sign and lay back down.

"look guys i dont want to think about. just leave me alone. just like everybody else does" i say closing my eyes. i hear them all go away. wow. i go on twitter and see that vanessa already tweeted about it.

@venessamu-ma-mom: Me and @shawnmendes broke up. i broke up up with me because he wasnt good enough. Dont worry im fine.

ughh. good thing she didnt make up a lie or anything. 

i turn off my phone and get up. i head to the back of the bus and grab my gutair out.

i sit down and start strumming my song "A little too much". i strum with every thing. with all my heart and soul in till i hear someone say.

"your going to break the strings" i look up and see ian and alyssa standing in front of me. i chuckle at the joke he made. "whats wrong?" he asks.  i shrug not really wanting to talk about it. "come on shawn. look i may not know you, know you, but i could tell something is wrong" alyssa says shocking me. "why do you care? you hate me!?" i scream at her. shes just giving me sympathy. shes right, she doesnt know me at all. 

"shawn, calm down" ian says to me. all of a sudden i feel more anger rising in me. i stand up and start screaming. "EVER SINCE YOU CAME.....YOU HAVE BEEN TREATING ME HORRIBLE! YOU THINK IM JUST SOME SNOBBY TEENAGER, AND THAT ALL I WANT IS THE FAME AND MONEY! IT-it sucks. im not not like that. well i think im not like that. i honestly dont want the money or fame. its so stressful. i dont know who i am anymore. people think the same way you do..but my fans-my fans are the only people who know me. but they also think im so strong. they think im happy. The truth is...the truth is, is that im broken." i say finishing the last part  calmly, but only a few tears running down. i look and see all three of them staring. why? im not a zoo animal. i look and see alyssa looking shocked. 

"i-im sorry. i didnt mean to'' i say to all three of them. i look around and see alyssa nodding. "do you mind if you leave us alone?" she says looking at them. my hear starts beating fast at what can happen. they nod and leave. 

"l-look im sorry...i didnt mean to yell" i say my anxiety going up. she shakes her head and sits on the couch next to us. "sit" she says. i do as im told. "shawn" she says. making my heart beat faster. "yah?" i ask. "im sorry" she says. ''im sorry for judging you. im sorry for not getting to know you before judging."she tells me. "look at me" she says. i look at her eyes and she says," im sorry". i nod,"its okay" i smile at her. "im sorry for yelling at you" i say. she smiles. "its okay. everybody has there breaking point" she says to me. then there goes my stupid emotions again. i start crying. i  slouch and put my hands over my face making my hands wet. i feel her hands rubbing my back as i cry. 

"shawn, i dont know you' she says still stroking my back.

"and i dont know you" i say calming down. 

"what if we got to know each other? would you like that" she asks me. i sit up straight and smile. " i would love that" i say  looking at her. she smiles and looks down. "lets go hang out in the city" she says standing up and reaching her hand out for me. i take it.

ALyssas p.o.v

------------------

He grabs my hand and stands up. i smile at his action. "come on" i say pulling him. we get closer to ian and john. ian is sleeping and john is on the probably with my dad. i motion to him with no words coming out of me. he looks at me then shawn...and then our hands. he looks confuse and then smiles. "were going out" i whisper and he nods "yes". i smile and leave the bus. 

"COME ON"i say to shawn after trying to convince him to eat a tomatoe. yup. ladies and gentlemen shawn mendes does not like tomatoes. 

"nope...i-im sorry " he says to me smilling. we are in a little tiny dinner across the street from the bus parking. its is 9:45. 

"but why?" i ask confuse. "there just gross. please dont let me eat them" he tells me in complete fear. i laugh. 

"what about you? Alyssa gertler?" he asks me. "what about me?" i ask. i look at him and see a smile on his face. i smile."i dont like muffins" i say honestly. i continue to stare him. watch his eyes go wide. "what?"i ask. "how do you not like muffins?"he ask me looking offended. "i dont know, there just plain" i say taking a sip of my drink. "whatever" he says. dont tell me hes mad because of this? "hey? are you done?" i ask looking at his untouched food. i shouldnt complain. i didnt pay.

"yeah" he says looking nervous. ''I say we go walk around a little" i ask. he nods and gets up after me.

we leave the place and start walking the calm street. it was peaceful. "so, how long are you on tour for?" i ask. "half a year. then i take a 2 month break and go on tour for another month" he says  smiling. "wow" i say. "yeah" he chuckles. "what about you? any hobbies?" he asks me. i think about it for a while. "um..i have to say music too" i say. i look up at him and see him smiling. "yeah, its an excape from reality. not saying my life is bad....its just very stressful right now. i know though that it will clear up"he tells me, his canadian accent breaking through. "yeah, dont worry" i say . 

As were walking i see a music store coming ahead on our left side. i start jumping like crazy."can we go in?"i ask shawn. he laughs and says yes. we enter and admire the beautiful guitars displayed on the walls mixed with basses and ukes. i look at shawn and see him in awe. "i could tell you guys found your happy place?" we hear a young male voice speak interupting us from our observations. I laugh and turn towards the guy. he was standing behind the counter tuning a uke. "yup" i say looking at him. he looked young. like about 17? 18? "you guys play?" he asks. "i play the guitar and the uke" i say. he nods and looks towards shawn for an answer. " ugh..same here guitar  more " he says. the guy nods. " oh! sorry where are my manners. my name is aaron"(yes aaron carpenter) he tells us. "nice to meet you aaron. im shawn and this is my friend aylssa" shawn says. aaron nods. i look at aaron more. hes that kid from vine. " your aaron carpenter" i say smiling. "yeah, thats me" he says laughing. "yeah, and your shawn mendes" he says sort of mocking me. shawn laughs. "AARON I NEED YOUR HELP" We hear a girl yell from the back. "COMING" " my girlfriend" he tells us and leaves. i look up at shawn who  looking at the 6 strings instrument on the wall. "go look" i nudge him. he smiles and takes off. i look at the keyboards placed on the side of the counter. "so were closing in a few. i was wondering if you would like to hang out after. me and my friends and you and shawn" aaron asks coming from the back, i look at him and smile. he was wearing a black shirt with black pants. " yah, we would love to"i say. i turn and see shawn looking uneasy. he is sitting down on a stool. i look at him closer and see sweat coming off of him and his chest rising fast. great. "shoot" i run over to him and bend down. 

"shawn, look at me" i say putting my hand on his lap. "your fine. okay? its just a panic attack. breath in and out. look at me" i tell him. i breath in and out. he follows me and breaths in and out. "i-i-i cant it-its not working" he says breathing harder. 

Flashback/////

"GO GET A WET GLOTH with ice" my dad yells at me. i run to the kitchen and get a wet gloth for my mom who is having a panic attack. i damp the gloth and put cold ice cubes in it run to living room. "here" Andrew takes it and puts it on my mom for head. 

flashback over//

"AARON!" i scream. i look at shawn who is turning a bit more pale then before. "shawn. your fine. you in a safe spot okay. nothing is going to happen. breath in and out" he nods. tears rolling down his face as mine want to release to but cant. "What?" i hear aaron ask. "oh shoot" he says looking at shawn. "go get a cloth and put ice cubes in it" i say looking at him. he nods and runs to the back of the store. i put my arm on shawn. "breath shawn" i say.  "here" i hear a girl voice say behind me. i turn and see a young looking girl. around our age. she has short blonde hair with brown eyes. "thanks" i say grabbing it. i take the gloth and stand up. "shawn. this is going to be cold " i say. i get closer to him and put the cloth on his for head. "i-icant" i hear him mumble. "shawn. breath in" i say. 

a few mintues past and he has stop but is very jumpy. "hey, guys we are here for another month. maybe we can hang out another time" i say. its not good for shawn to stay out. "its fine" aaron says. "here our are numbers. to call us" aaron says. "oh! by the way, my name is sam" the young girl tells me. i smile. "alyssa" i say. i go to shawn and bend down next to him. "are you ready to go?"i ask. he nods. i help stand him up knowing he might feel dizzy at this point. "come on" i say supporting him all the way back to the tour bus.