Alyssa

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  Its currently 4 am. I just cant seem to fall asleep.  I sign and grab my phone and go on instagram.

I check my feed and search up shawns name for fun.  I click on his recent and notice all the hate he was getting. Hahaha. He deserves it.  I honestly don't see what the "mendes army" sees in him.

I find one comment that stood out to me.

Go kill your self

I don't know why but that got me. This goes to far. He doesn't deserve this! I frown and look at him. Hes peacefully sleeping.

Ehhh, who cares. Hes a celebrity, hes used to it.

  I finally feel tired and fall asleep.
---

Shawn

---

Ever since my career became serious....I started getting bad anxiety.  Its not that bad...but its bad enough for me to have an attack.....when theres to many people or I start getting panicky. I also mostly get them when im in a bad state of mood. Shows are the hardest but the adrenaline kicks in. Lucky I haven't had an attack on stage yet.

Im currently up right now....its 8 am. We dont have to be out of the hotel by 10. Alyssa is still sleeping. I sign and get up. I make my way over to the bathroom and do my stuff. After, I make my way out and check my bags for my pills. I open the  little black bag and look for a little orange pill bottle. Its not there. "No.no.no.no" I say to my self. Its really not there. I look every where for it. I cant find it. No. This cant be happening. What if I have an attack today? I have a show. No.no.no. please.please

I then start to feel dizzy and my breathing becomes faster. I ignore it and check the bathroom once more. Nope nothing.

I walk out and see Alyssa sitting up in her bed rubbing her eyes.

Maybe she seen it.

"Hey, um- uh ha-have you seen a orange pill bottle anywhere?" I ask with sweat coming out of me and my breathing go faster.

I look at her. She looks at me and then shakes her head.

"Are you okay? Why whats wrong?" She says getting up.

"I-i-i cant find my pills. I need them" I say a little jumpy.

She gets up and comes over to me. I then feel dizzy and my lungs start to hurt.

"Shawn! Whats wrong?...whats happening" she asks.

"Sit down" she says helping me walk to the bed. I look at her while my eyes start to tear up. She has a panicked face on her.

"Shawn..look at me. Breath in and breath out" she says calmly.

I nod.

Breath in and breath out

In

Out

In

Out

  I repeat the process over and over intil my breathing goes back to normal.

"What happend?" She asks.
I wipe the tears off my face and look down.

"Im sorry" I say feeling guilty about her seeing me this way.

"Yeah, you should be. You woke me up" she says. I laugh noticing the sarcasm in her voice.

I look up and see that she's wearing glasses and a tank top. God she's really pretty.

"What happend?" She says once more.

"Oh...I uh I have anxiety..more like a panic disorder." I say. She looks at me.

"Dont all celebrities have that?" She scolfs. I look at her and nod "no".

"I had a little of it before my career started. It wasnt this bad though. The crowds, cameras and the stress made it worse" I say. She looks down at me and shrugs.

"What were you looking for?" She says.

I look inter her dark brown eyes. "Oh...my pills" I say.

"Oh! You do drugs?!...I knew it" she screams. What?

"No.no.. there for my anxiety" I say looking hurt. I look at her who just gives me the look of "yeah right" . She goes away into the bathroom.

What is up with her?

Why does she hate me?

What did I do?

----

Alyssa.

If I have to be honest. That was one of the most terrifying thing ive been through. He looked horrible.

Im just mad he woke me up.

I go to the bathroom to clear my mind. He just had a panic attack and I helped him. I grab my tooth brush and tart brushing my teeth.

  He doesnt have his pills though. Why should I worry though? Like he worries for me.

I go out and see him dressed. He is wearing a blue and black flannel with a black shirt underneath. With black skinny jeans. Why am I checking him out.

I grab my clothes which is:

Burgandy flowy shorts with a white t-shirt and white converse. I put my hair in two French braids.

I go light on the makeup.

"Lets go?" Shawn asks. I nod and grab my phone.

"Are you fine...you still dont have your pills" I asks him.

Why the heck am I asking.

"Uhh..yeah. I feel a little jumpy but im fine" he says.

I nod and leave.