I have been married to the singer and songwriter Shawn Mendes for about five years now. He's the love of my life, my soulmate, my everything. We now have three kids together. Our oldest is Rose Lucille Mendes, who's four, our second baby is Jacob Alexander Scott Mendes, also known as Jake, who's two, and now we have Sarah Grace Mendes. Sarah is only two days old, so Shawn and I are still in the hospital with her. Shawn was sitting in a chair next to my hospital bed as he held Sarah. I felt different than I did after I had given birth to Rose and to Jake.

"She's so beautiful. Just like her Momma." Shawn said. I nodded, feeling too sad to speak. Shawn looked at me with concern in his eyes. "You okay love?"

"I feel different than I did after I gave birth to Rose and to Jake." I said.

"What do you mean?" He asked. I shrugged.

"I don't know how to explain it." I said. Shawn stood up as he held Sarah, our last baby, and sat on the side of my bed.

"Can you do me a favor?" He asked. I nodded.

"Yeah." I said but it came out as a whisper.

"Can you try to explain it to me please?" He asked. I sighed and thought for a moment before I began to cry. Shawn's eyes widened and he looked a bit panicked.

"I don't know. I try to cry quietly when I see that you're sleeping and I don't even know why I'm crying. I feel depressed one minute and then happy the next minute, but it's mostly depressed. I haven't been eating as much or sleeping as much. I feel really out of energy. I feel irritable but I try to hide it. I feel extremely anxious at times but then fine at others. I don't know what's wrong with me Shawn, and I don't know what to do." I said as I sobbed.

"Oh honey. How long have you been feeling like this?" Shawn asked.

"It was like, a few hours after I gave birth to Sarah." I said. Shawn nodded and put Sarah in the little crib that was nearby.

"I'm going to go get a nurse or a doctor, and we're going to figure this out, okay?" Shawn asked. I nodded as I cried.

"Okay." I said. Shawn then left the room. When he came back with both a doctor and a nurse, I was still crying and I felt anxious all of the sudden. I reached my hand out for Shawn. "Shawn." I said, but it came out as a whimper. He sat on the bed with me, kissed the side of my head, and wrapped an arm around me.

"I'm right here darling and I'm not going anywhere." Shawn said. I nodded.

"So, Mrs. Mendes, your husband says that you're struggling emotionally. Is that correct?" Dr. Ackles asked. I nodded and told her everything that I had just told Shawn.

"I feel so bad. I feel like I'm being a bad mother because I feel like I can't bond with her." I said. The doctor talked to the nurse in hushed tones for a moment. I looked up at Shawn, and I could tell that he was trying to hide his concern, but him and I have been married for five years, and together for nine, so I can tell when he's concerned.

"Mrs. Mendes, I believe that you have what's called postpartum depression. It's a mood disorder than can affect women after childbirth." Dr. Ackles said.

"How can I get better?" I asked.

"Well, you can do therapy, and a psychiatrist can prescribe antidepressants." Dr. Ackles said.

"What can I do, as her husband, to help?" Shawn asked.

"Just be there for her. If she needs to cry or talk, let her cry on your shoulder and let her talk to you. I want her to rest as much as she can. I know that Sarah is your third baby, but ask family members for support and help because I don't want her doing too much. I also think that alone time with you, since you're her husband and life partner, would be helpful. When you guys have that alone time, try to get her to talk about how she's feeling, but also try to talk to her about happy memories. A support group might help. Mrs. Mendes, do you know of anyone that had postpartum depression?" Dr. Ackles asked. I nodded.

"Yes. My mom had it after she had my brother. I think that she once said that therapy helped. I don't think that I want to do support groups." I said. Shawn put his hand to my cheek.

"Why not my love? They could help." Shawn asked and said. I shook my head.

"No. I don't know, I just don't feel comfortable doing that." I said. Everyone nodded.

"Okay. It's all completely up to you." Dr. Ackles said and I nodded. The next day, we were able to take Sarah home. Mine and Shawn's parents decided that they would take Rose and Jake and bring them to my mom's house when Shawn and I first brought Sarah home.

"Look baby Sarah, this is your new home." Shawn said as we walked in the door. I felt tired and drained, and I yawned.

"I'm tired." I said. Shawn looked at me.

"Okay honey. I'm going to put her in her new crib and then I'll get into bed with you, okay?" He asked. I nodded.

"Okay." I said and we headed upstairs. As soon as I got underneath the covers, I began to cry. When Shawn came in, he came rushing over to me.

"What can I do darling? How can I help?" He asked.

"Pink hoodie." I said, barely able to speak. Luckily Shawn knew what I wanted so he nodded.

"Okay babe, I'll go get it." He said. I nodded as I cried and he went into our closet and got his pink hoodie. Out of all of his hoodies, that one is my favorite. He handed it to me.

"Does it smell like you?" I asked as I held it close to me. Shawn nodded.

"It should. Sniff it and find out honey." Shawn said as he got into bed with me. I sniffed it and smiled a little as I nodded.

"It smells like you. Is it okay with you if I hold it?" I asked. Shawn smiled and nodded.

"Of course my love. How about this: while you hold my hoodie, I'll hold you. Does that sound good?" Shawn asked. I nodded and Shawn gently pulled me close to him. Shawn rubbed my back as he held me, but I kept crying. It was like I couldn't stop.

"Why can't I stop crying?" I asked.

"It's the postpartum depression. Don't worry Mrs. Mendes, I've got you." He said. I nodded.

"Am I a bad mother for not feeling like I can bond with Sarah?" I asked as I looked up at Shawn. His eyes widened as he shook his head.

"No! You're the most amazing mother ever, you're just struggling right now. We'll get you through this, I promise." Shawn said. I nodded.

I began to see my therapist more often and I was prescribed antidepressants which helped. Shawn's family stayed in town for a bit longer than they had originally planned so they, along with my family, could help Shawn and I with the kids. Shawn would get me out of the house and we would hold hands as we walked around our neighborhood, sometimes in silence, but at other times he would remind me that he's there for me or we would talk about happy things, like the kids, our wedding day, our engagement, and basically our whole relationship. Soon enough, I was back to my former and happy self. I'm so grateful for Shawn's support, and the support of our families. I love them so much.