March 2020 - Toronto, Canada

"Sweetheart, come sit with me." Shawn Mendes, my boyfriend of almost three months said to me as he sat at the piano. My heart fluttered at the sight of his smile, and I smiled back at him as I got up, made my way over to him, and I sat down next to him. I'm visiting him at his place in Toronto while I'm on spring break from school. I met his parents and his sister yesterday.

"Are you going to play something for me?" I asked. He nodded.

"Yup." He said. He then began to play the song that he had learned for me, Hallelujah by Rufus Wainwright. Shawn knew that I would fall asleep to that song every night, so when I first got to his place, he put my luggage away in his room, and then had me sit with him at the piano as he played it for me. Now, as I sat next to him, I couldn't help but look at his beyond handsome face as he sang in the most beautiful voice.

My eyes traveled around his face. His pink lips that I love to kiss were moving as he sang. I looked at his hands and watched as his long fingers danced across the keys. It was like I was mesmerized by him. I had fallen in love with him the moment I laid eyes on him last August when we were at a Dunkin Donuts in Boston. We hadn't said I love you to each other yet, but I definitely loved him. It's not just him as a whole that I'm in love with. It's the little things too, like the way that he taps his fingers together when he's thinking, and the way he focuses when he's writing music. I looked at his face, and bit my tongue. If I hadn't bitten my tongue, I would have told him that I love him, and I at least wanted him to finish singing before I told him. The song soon came to an end and he smiled at me.

"Beautiful!" I said as I clapped and his smile widened.

"Thank you darling." He said. I kissed his cheek as I realized what I wanted and needed to do.

"You're welcome baby. Do you have a piece of notebook paper and a pen that I could borrow please?" I asked. He nodded as he stood up.

"Yeah." He said. He got me the paper and pen and handed it to me.

"Thank you. Um, do you mind if I just go in your room and write something down?" I asked. He shook his head.

"No, that's fine." He said. I smiled at him and then went into his bedroom. Sometimes, when I'm nervous, my thoughts and my words become scrambled, which is why I was going to write a letter to Shawn to explain that I had fallen in love with him, and then I would read it to him. It took me a little bit to get all of my thoughts out onto the page, and when I was done, my hands were shaking because I was so nervous. What if he doesn't feel the same way? What if I read this and end up looking like a complete fool? I let out a shaky breath and then went to where Shawn was on the couch, and sat down next to him.

"Hi handsome." I said.

"Hi beautiful. You seem nervous. What's up sweetheart?" He asked. I looked at the letter, and my shaking hands before looking back up at him. He looked worried, and I felt bad.

"Um, so, I want to tell you something but honestly, it could change everything in a bad way, or it change everything in a good way." I said. Shawn frowned a little and shook his head.

"Baby, we'll figure out whatever it is. Is it this letter?" He asked as he pointed at the paper in my hands. I nodded.

"Yeah. Um, sometimes when I'm nervous, my thoughts and my words get all scrambled, or I just go blank when I go to talk, so I wrote everything down. Is it okay if I read it to you?" I asked. Shawn nodded.

"Of course it is baby." He said with a reassuring smile. I smiled back, looked at the paper, let out another shaky breath, and then began reading.

"Dear Shawn,

"In some ways, I don't really know what I should write, but in other ways, I know exactly what I want to write. I'm nervous, so please bear with me.

"I remember my freshman year of high school, in history class, when Lexie tapped me on the shoulder. She asked me if I had ever heard of vine, and I said yes. She then asked me if I had ever heard of MAGCON and I said no. She whipped out her phone and began showing me pictures of everyone that was part of MAGCON. When she got to a picture of you, I smiled and said 'Wow, he's cute.' and my crush on you, which began almost six years ago, has never gone away. In fact, my crush on you has only gotten more intense.

"I remember the day we met quite vividly. It's not like I have to tell you about it, because obviously you were there too. But what I do have to tell you - which is something that I'm nervous to tell you - is that the moment I laid eyes on you that day, I fell for you. Then, we got to know each other, and then we began dating, and I fell harder for you. I understand if you don't feel the same way, but I just need to get these thoughts and words out. I need you to know how I feel about you. The thing is, I fall for you more and more with each passing day and with each thing that you do. I am madly, deeply, crazily, insanely, head over heels in love with you Shawn Peter Raul Mendes.

"Just the thought of you, or just getting a text from you or a phone call from you, makes me smile. When you smile at me, I get butterflies in my tummy. When your arms are around me, I know that I'm in the safest place in the world, I'm in my true home, and my safest refuge. When our hands touch, I feel electricity spark through me, yet I feel safe and warm at the same time. And when we kiss, oh my gosh. My heart races as if I had just run a marathon, I feel sparks shoot through my whole body like it's the fourth of July, and butterflies erupt and fly around in my tummy.

"I need you to know that not only am I in love with you, but I'm beyond grateful for you. You've taught me so many things. Like lately, you've been teaching me how to be comfortable in my own skin. You always tell me that I'm beautiful and gorgeous, and it's still a bit hard for me to believe, but hearing you say those things makes me feel good. The way that you look at me makes me feel good too. You look at me as if nothing else matters, as if I'm one of a kind. No one has ever looked at me the way that you do. But I'm not just grateful for what you teach me, and the way that you look at me. I'm grateful for you because of everything that you do, no matter how big or small. Whether it's buying me flowers, learning how to play a song on the piano for me, no matter what it is, I'm grateful beyond words.

"Shawn, you have the kindest heart and the sweetest soul. There's no one in the world, no one in the universe quite like you. Knowing that, and knowing that you're my boyfriend, and nobody else's, makes me feel so happy, and so lucky. I swear to God Shawn, I'm the luckiest girl in the world, not just to be your girlfriend, but also to just have you in my life. I love and adore every single thing about you. I think it's so cute that when you're thinking, you tap your fingers, and sometimes your teeth, together. I love watching you write songs, whether I'm physically with you as you write, or if it's over Facetime. For someone of your age, you're wise and mature beyond your years, and I really admire and love that about you. For someone with your platform, you're so humble and down to earth, and I love that about you.

"I love doing anything and everything with you. Life with you has been an adventure, and I know that it always will be. You make the boring things fun, and you make the fun things even more fun. You're silly and goofy, which makes me feel comfortable enough to let my guard down so I can be silly and goofy with you. You're protective of the ones you love, and the fact that you're protective of me makes me feel good. I swear that you're the most amazing, most handsome man in the world. Honestly Shawn, I could go on and on about everything that I love about you, but we would be here for a long, long time. So, I completely understand if you don't feel the same way, but Shawn, I love you.

"Love, Y/n Y/l/n." I read. I looked up at Shawn, who had a huge smile on his face, and tears on his cheeks as he opened his arms up.

"Come here baby. That was so beautiful. I love you too." He said as I moved over to hug him but then stopped as a smile spread across my face.

"Really?" I asked. He chuckled and nodded.

"Yes! I love you Y/n Y/m/n Y/l/n." He said. I practically tackled him with a hug as he laughed.

"Oh my gosh! I love you too Shawn Peter Raul Mendes. Oh I'm so happy right now." I said. He rubbed my back and kissed my head.

"Me too baby girl. I've been wanting to say it since I met you." Shawn said. I pulled away from the hug a little and smiled at him.

"I feel like I can't stop smiling." I said. He chuckled and nodded.

"Me too. Do you want to come sit on my lap?" He asked. I nodded.

"Yeah." I said before moving over to sit in his lap. I rested my head on his shoulder, and he rested his head against mine. He wrapped his strong arms around me, and my eyes fluttered shut as a feeling of contentedness, a feeling of safety washed over me.

"So you really feel all of those things with me?" Shawn asked. I smiled and nodded my head against his neck.

"Yeah." I said. Shawn moved his head a little and kissed my nose, which made me scrunch it up. He chuckled.

"I love it when you do that." He said.

"Do what?" I asked.

"Whenever I kiss your nose, you scrunch it up. It's so damn cute." He said. I felt myself blush, so I buried my face in his neck even further, which only made him laugh again. I then picked my head up and looked at his handsome face.

"Shawn?" I asked.

"Yes Y/n?" He asked.

"So, the feelings that I said that I get with you. Do you, do you get those with me?" I asked. Shawn smiled and nodded.

"Yeah. I get all of those feelings with you." Shawn said. I moved so I was straddling his lap and held his face as I kissed him. My arms went around his shoulders, and his hands rubbed up and down my back as we kissed. I smiled into the kiss, which made him smile too, and then we pulled away.

"I love you." I said. His smile widened.

"I love you too. I'm going to keep that letter forever." He said as he looked at the letter which was next to us on the couch.

"Really?" I asked. He looked at me and nodded as he continued to rub my back. His caramel eyes mesmerized me.

"Yup. I love it. It's the most beautiful letter that anyone has ever written to me. You know, now that we're saying I love you to each other, I really want to call you love and my love. Would you be okay with that?" He asked. My smile widened.

"Of course! I love those nicknames! Can I call you love and my love too?" I asked. Shawn nodded.

"Of course you can. You can call me anything you want." He said.

"You're so wonderful." I said, which caused him to laugh.

Shawn and I then talked about our future together. We figured out that we would be together for about a year before we moved in with each other, and he said that he would move to Massachusetts for me. We also figured out that we want to be together for two years before we get engaged, and we want to be married for a year before we start trying to have kids. Shawn and I agreed on having three kids, hopefully two girls and a boy, and we even picked out names.

"My love, what's your ring size?" Shawn asked. I thought for a moment.

"Um, I know that it at least used to be an eight, but I lost weight when I got sick so I don't know if it's still an eight. It might be a six or a seven. Why?" I asked. I had moved so I was still on Shawn's lap, but not straddling him anymore. My head was resting on his shoulder again as he rubbed my back.

"What do you think about a promise ring?" He asked. I picked my head up and looked at him.

"Really?" I asked. He nodded.

"Yeah, and then someday I'll switch it out for an engagement ring, and then I'll switch that engagement ring out for a wedding ring." He said. I smiled and kissed him.

"Okay." I said. He smiled at me and gave me another sweet kiss.

"How about tomorrow we go to the mall and get one? You should probably come with me so I get a ring in the right size." He said.

"But we haven't gone public yet. What if we get caught?" I asked. Shawn thought for a moment before shrugging.

"We'll be careful. If we get caught, we'll figure it out. We could say that we're just friends." Shawn said. I nodded my head against his shoulder.

"Okay. I love you." I said.

"I love you too sweetheart." He said. I picked my head up and looked at him. He smiled at me as his caramel eyes looked into my own eyes.

"It feels... easy to say I love you to you. It feels right. It didn't... it didn't feel like that with my ex boyfriend. It felt forced and just, not right, to say it to him. When we said it to each other for the first time, it was over text, and he had just told me that he found it hard to tell people that he loves them. That's why, a few weeks after we broke up, when he told me that he had never loved me, I found that hard to believe." I said. Shawn rubbed my legs as he nodded.

"Yeah. Plus, didn't he freak out a bit when you broke up with him?" Shawn asked. I nodded my head.

"Yeah. But you know what? There's a quote that I saw that I feel like is very fitting to him. It said 'If he tries to pressure you to do things you don't want to do or aren't ready for, he doesn't want you, he just wants to use you.'" I said.

"That quote is definitely perfect for him." Shawn said. He knew about how my ex had been with me.

"Yup. But now I'm with a man who makes me happy, who loves me, and makes me feel so special." I said. Shawn smiled and gave me a kiss.

"Baby, I hope you know that I don't just love you. I treasure you, I cherish you, and I adore you. I love life with you so much." Shawn said. My smile widened and I gave him a kiss before snuggling my face into his neck. I placed a gentle kiss there as he continued to rub my back.

"There's a Winnie the Pooh quote that makes me think of you, and life with you." I said.

"Oh really? What is it?" Shawn asked.

"I knew when I met you an adventure was going to happen." I quoted.

"I love that. I love you." Shawn said. I smiled.

"I love you too. So what mall are we going to tomorrow?" I asked. Shawn thought for a moment as I picked my head up and moved so I was straddling his lap. He immediately began to rub my sides. We're a very touchy feely, affectionate couple.

"We could go to the CF Toronto Eaton Centre. Does that sound good to you babe?" Shawn asked. I nodded.

"Yeah. I'm tired. Could we go to bed please?" I asked. Shawn nodded and I got off of his lap and stood up. He stood up too and took my hand in his and led me to his bedroom. We both got under the covers and cuddled up to each other. My head was on his chest and his arms were around me.

"Good night my love. I love you." Shawn said. I closed my eyes and smiled.

"Good night baby boy. I love you too." I said.

I woke up the next morning before Shawn did. I went to my suitcase and took out some jean shorts and an Inscici casual V-neck striped shirt with lace patchwork (A/n: Outfit is in the picture above!). I went in the bathroom, brushed my teeth, put my hair in a bun, and then put on some makeup. Shawn likes it when my makeup is more natural, so I didn't put on much, just eyeliner, mascara, and some light eye shadow. I stepped out of the bathroom just as Shawn was waking up. He looked at me and smiled.

"Wow baby girl. You look absolutely beautiful." He said. I blushed and walked over to his side of the bed.

"Thank you handsome. I love you." I said. His smile widened.

"I love you too. What do you want for breakfast?" He asked as he got out of bed. As soon as stood up, he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and held me close to him as I wrapped my arms around his torso.

"Um, what about pancakes?" I asked. He chuckled.

"My love, we had pancakes yesterday morning. Aren't you going to get sick of them?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Nope. I love pancakes." I said with a smile.

"You're so cute. Okay, Chef Mendes at your service." He said as he unwrapped his arms from around me and started to head out of his bedroom.

"Um, Chef Mendes, I didn't get a kiss." I pointed out. Shawn turned to me and smiled.

"Should we fix that?" He asked. I nodded.

"Yup. We should fix that right now because I love your kisses." I said. Shawn put his hands on my waist, I put my hands on his shoulders, and we kissed. It wasn't a short kiss, but it wasn't a long kiss either. When we pulled away, Shawn kissed my nose, causing me to scrunch it up, and then he kissed my forehead. He took my hand and then we went into the kitchen. After making breakfast and then eating breakfast, Shawn got ready.

"Are you all set to go babe?" Shawn asked. I nodded as I got my shoes on.

"Yeah, I just have to grab my wallet." I said. Shawn frowned and moved in front of me so I couldn't get by.

"Why are you getting your wallet?" He asked.

"So I can help pay for stuff." I said. He shook his head.

"Nope. You're not going to pay for anything. I don't care how many stores we go to, or much money I spend, I'm paying for all of it." He said. I sighed, crossed my arms, and stared at him for a few moments, hoping that the pleading look on my face would change his mind. It didn't. Instead, he just shook his head. I dropped my arms and scoffed. I had been defeated. Shawn laughed, and then we left for the mall. We soon arrived there.

"So, where are we going first?" I asked. Not holding his hand, or having an arm around him felt weird. I wanted to be affectionate with him, but we were worried about getting caught.

"There's a jewelry store called Swarovski here. I want to see if they have any promise rings that you like. If they don't, there's a Pandora store here and we'll go there and check out what they have." Shawn said.

"Oh can we just go straight to Pandora please? I've never been in a Pandora store before and I want to see what they have." I asked and said. Shawn chuckled and nodded.

"Of course baby girl." He said as he checked the map of the mall and found where we had to go.

"Thank you. I feel like some promise rings look like engagement rings and I don't want that. I don't want it to look like an engagement ring, I want it to look like a promise ring." I said. Shawn nodded.

"Okay sweetheart. You pick it out and I'll pay for it, okay?" He asked. I sighed.

"Will you at least let me pay you back for some of it? I feel bad spending your money." I said as we went up the escalator.

"No you will not pay for at least some of it, and don't feel bad. It's fine babe." Shawn said. I sighed but nodded.

"Okay." I said as I followed him to Pandora. We walked into the store, and Shawn looked at me.

"Pick out whichever one you want, and don't mind the price. If you want to get a necklace or a bracelet too, that's fine." He said.

"Wait, we don't even know my ring size." I said. He nodded and then looked around the store before spotting someone that worked there. We went up to the person.

"Excuse me, we don't know her ring size. How can we figure that out?" Shawn asked.

"Oh, I can help you with that. Please follow me." She said. We went over to where the rings are as she stood behind the case of them. Mine and Shawn's backs were to the door as she checked my ring size, and then told me what it was. We thanked her and then looked at rings.

"What about that one sweetheart?" Shawn asked as he began to rub my back. I looked at the ring that he was pointing at.

"It looks too much like an engagement ring. Oh! Look at that one! I love it." I said as I pointed at one called the Dreams of Love ring, and it was in the shape of a heart. I looked at Shawn as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders, smiled, and nodded.

"I love it too." Shawn said.

"Would you like to try it on?" The employee asked me. I nodded and she got it out and put it on me. I smiled even wider.

"It's a perfect fit." I said as I looked at Shawn. He kissed my forehead, suddenly not caring that we were in public.

"Well how about you take it off now so I can put it on you later?" Shawn asked. I giggled and nodded before taking the ring off.

"There's also a matching necklace that goes along with that ring." The woman said. I looked at Shawn as the woman put the ring in a small ring box. He nodded.

"Okay. Can we see it please?" Shawn asked. The woman nodded.

"Sure thing." She said before going to get it. I turned so I was facing Shawn more.

"Thank you so much for this." I said. He smiled as he rubbed my arms.

"You're welcome baby. Only the best for my girl." He said. I blushed and buried my face in his chest, causing him to laugh as he rubbed my back. I then picked my head up and looked at him.

"I love being your girl." I said. He smiled at me again as the woman came back.

"What do you think?" She asked. My eyes widened.

"Oh my gosh I love it." I said.

"Is there a bracelet that goes with it too?" Shawn asked as he began to rub my back again. The woman shook her head.

"No, just the necklace and ring." She said. Shawn nodded and then looked at me.

"Do you want anything else here, or should we buy these and then go to another store?" Shawn asked.

"We should buy these and then go to another store." I said. Shawn nodded and then the employee took us to the cash register as Shawn paid for the ring and necklace, which she put in boxes and then into a bag. We thanked her and left.

"So you like your new jewelry?" Shawn asked. I nodded.

"Yes! I love it, thank you so much for getting it for me." I said.

"Of course. Where should we go next?" Shawn asked as we looked at one of the maps of the mall. As we looked at it, Shawn began to rub my back again, and this time, I leaned on him.

"I don't know. What about Forever 21?" I asked as I looked up at Shawn. He nodded.

"Okay." He said. We walked to the escalator and went down a floor, and then went to Forever 21.

"I think the last time I was in a Forever 21 store was many years ago when my grandmother took me shopping." I said as I looked around.

"Pick out whatever you want. I don't care how much it costs, just get whatever you want and however much you want." Shawn said.

"Are you sure?" I asked him. He nodded.

"Yup." He said. I smiled and then looked around.

"Oh! Graphic shirts!" I said. Shawn laughed and then followed me to the section where the graphic shirts were, and he helped me look around.

"Oh my gosh babe this one is so you." Shawn said as he held up a shirt. I smiled as I read what it said "BRAVE, DETERMINED, STRONG, FEARLESS WOMAN".

"I love it. Do they have it in my size?" I asked as I checked. They did, so Shawn held it as we looked around.

"This one is fitting for you too." Shawn said as he held up a long sleeve shirt that said "SASSY SINCE BIRTH". I laughed and nodded and then kept looking.

"I like this one. It says 'NEVER GIVE UP'." I said as I showed it to Shawn. He smiled and nodded.

"Okay, we'll get that one too." He said. We got a few more shirts, one of them said "NEED MORE COFFEE" another one said "all we have is now" and I got a tank top that said "STRAIGHT OUTTA IRELAND" because my family is from Ireland. Shawn and I then left the store, and went up to a store map to figure out where we wanted to go next.

"Can we go to Hot Topic to see if they have anything Supernatural related please?" I asked. Shawn nodded.

"Of course we can." He said.

"Thank you." I said, and he gently grabbed my hand and kissed it before letting my hand go so he could put an arm around my shoulders. We went to Hot Topic and I got a few things.

"Are you hungry baby?" Shawn asked. I nodded.

"Yeah. Do they have Subway here?" I asked. Shawn nodded.

"Yup. All of the food is downstairs." He said. I nodded.

"Okay." I said as I followed him.

"What do you want to eat Y/n?" Shawn asked as we walked into Subway. I told him my order, and smiled when he didn't say anything about the fact that I wanted tomatoes on my sub. We went up to the counter, and once again, Shawn put his arm around my shoulders, and then rubbed my back a little bit. I put an arm around his torso and leaned on him. I then moved so I was standing in front of him and I rested my head on his chest as his arms wrapped around my shoulders and my arms wrapped around his waist. He rubbed my back as he ordered our subs and then we sat down. I had been so hungry, that after taking one bite, I started to dance in my seat a little, causing Shawn to laugh.

"I was really hungry." I said.

"You're so cute baby." He said. I smiled at him and he smiled back. His smile gave me butterflies, and it was like we were the only two people in the world. Everything else faded away, and it was just him and I.

"Well you're the cutest person ever." I said. He chuckled before taking a bite of his sub.

"I have a random question for you." He said. I giggled.

"Okay." I said before taking a bite of my sub.

"What's a song that you could listen to on repeat forever?" He asked. I thought for a moment as I chewed.

"Hallelujah by Rufus Wainwright. I have it on repeat every night so I can fall asleep to it." I said. Shawn nodded.

"I learned that song on the piano for you." He said with a smile. I nodded.

"Yes and that was the sweetest thing that anyone had ever done for me. Last night when you were playing it, at one point I had to bite my tongue." I said.

"Why?" Shawn asked. I put my sub down and looked at him, and he did the same thing.

"Because as you were playing, I just sat there, staring at your handsome face, and if I hadn't bitten my tongue, I would have blurted out that I love you right then and there. I wanted to hear you play, so I waited until you were done playing before I wrote that letter to tell you that I love you." I said. Shawn smiled.

"The way that you did it was beautiful. I'm going to keep that letter forever baby. When you were reading it, I could see your hands shaking because you were so nervous, and there was a part of me that wanted to interrupt you and say that I love you too, but I also wanted to hear the rest of the beautiful words that you were saying to me. I love you so much sweetheart." Shawn said as he put his hand to my cheek and rubbed it with his thumb. I smiled.

"I love you so much too." I said. Shawn took his hand away from my face and began eating again, and so did I. After a couple of minutes in silence, I noticed Shawn staring at me as he ate, and I blushed. He laughed and shook his head at me.

"You are so beyond beautiful. So gorgeous and stunning." He said. I blushed even more.

"Thank you." I said.

"You're welcome, I'm just saying the truth. Why do you always blush whenever I compliment you?" Shawn asked.

"No one... no one has ever complimented me like you do. I guess that I'm just not used to it." I said. Shawn put his food down and frowned.

"What do you mean that no one has ever complimented you like I do?" He asked. I set my sub down and wiped my hands on my napkin.

"My parents sometimes call me beautiful, but not very often. Grace used to call me pretty girl but she doesn't anymore for some reason. But then you came into my life and suddenly I'm being told all of these wonderful things and... I know that you mean what you say, you always do, but because of my insecurities, it's hard for me to believe it. That's nothing against you, that's just my own insecurities." I said. Shawn nodded.

"Do you mind me calling you beautiful, gorgeous, stunning, breathtaking, and pretty?" Shawn asked. I shook my head.

"No. I love it when you call me that, because it makes me feel good. I just struggle to believe it." I said as I looked down a little. Shawn put his index finger underneath my chin and lifted my head up a little bit so I was looking at him. He leaned forward a bit and looked into my eyes as he spoke.

"I will call you beautiful and gorgeous and all of those words every single day for the rest of our lives. You deserve the world and more, and you deserve to realize how beautiful you are. You're the most beautiful being to ever exist." Shawn said. I smiled and blushed.

"Thank you handsome." I said. He smiled.

"You're welcome pretty girl." He said with a wink as he sat back again.

"Is there a bookstore here?" I asked. He grinned at me.

"Did you really think that I would take you, my bookworm of a girlfriend, somewhere that didn't have a bookstore nearby?" He asked. I laughed and shook my head.

"No." I said.

"Okay, because after this we're going to the bookstore." He said.

"How many books should I get?" I asked.

"However many books you want." He said. I looked at him for a moment.

"Really?" I asked. He nodded.

"Of course. You told me that you love me last night, so today is my day to spoil you, which is why I wouldn't let you bring your wallet. Get as many books as you want, it's on me." He said.

"This is the kind of support that I need in life, a man who will support my love of books." I said. Shawn threw his head back a little as he laughed.

"You are so cute. Imagine if you were able to get paid to read books. What would you do if someone came up to you and said that they would pay you to read books for the rest of your life?" Shawn asked. My eyes went wide just at the thought.

"I would drop out of school, because I won't need a degree in psychology to read books for the rest of my life. I mean, I'll be reading books for the rest of my life anyways, but if I got paid to do it, goodbye college. I don't even care how much I get paid, I would just be reading like crazy." I said.

"I would never see you again. You would just sit down somewhere and read." Shawn said. I thought for a moment.

"I want to say that that's not true, but I can't." I said. Shawn grabbed his stomach as he laughed.

"Oh my gosh." He said.

"Well, I would make time." I said.

"For me, or for the books?" He asked.

"You." I said.

"Oh my gosh. I'm crying from laughing so hard." Shawn said as he wiped his eyes. I was laughing too.

"Well, wait a second, you like it when I read to you. I could read the books to you if you wanted." I said. Shawn nodded as he smiled.

"I like that idea." Shawn said. I nodded. I was done eating, but Shawn wasn't. I looked around the restaurant as I smiled, happy to be with the man that I love, who loves me back. My smile faded away very quickly when I noticed someone sitting not too far away from us, with their phone aimed right at us as they looked at us. I turned away, picked up my phone, and went to the notes app.

"That person to your right has their phone directed right at us." I wrote, and then showed it to Shawn. He read it and then looked around Subway. He noticed the girl, and looked at me.

"Want to get going?" Shawn asked. I nodded. We wrapped up our subs, put them back in the bag, and then left Subway.

"Where are we going next? The bookstore?" I asked.

"I was thinking that we could find a place to sit down and just talk for a bit before we go to the bookstore." Shawn said. I nodded.

"Okay." I said. We found a seat and sat down. I didn't see anybody around, so when Shawn opened up his arms, I gladly leaned on him and wrapped an arm around his torso. He kissed the top of my head as he rubbed my back. I closed my eyes and smiled. I then looked up at him, and he smiled at me.

"Hi gorgeous." He said.

"Hi handsome." I said. He rubbed my cheek with his thumb.

"You know, there's nobody around, and I really want to kiss you." He said. I smiled and sat up a bit. I looked around, and didn't see anyone, so when I turned back to Shawn, I gladly put my lips on his as he held me. We kissed for a bit and then smiled at each other when we pulled away.

"I love you." I said.

"I love you too baby." He said. I kissed him again, loving the feeling of his lips against mine as our lips moved in perfect synchronization with each other. We pulled away and rested our foreheads together as we attempted to catch our breaths.

"I love kissing you." I said as I moved so my head was on his chest again. He kissed the top of my head and then rested his head against mine.

"I love kissing you too. I think I'm just going to kiss you forever." He said. I smiled.

"I'd like that." I said. He kissed the top of my head again.

"Good." He said. We stayed there for a bit, lost in each other as we cuddled and kissed, happy that no one was around so we wouldn't get caught. After a bit, we went to the bookstore and Shawn got me over ten books. As we were walking up to the register, both of our hands full of books, a fan came up to us.

"Hi Shawn. Could I get a picture with you please?" She asked. Shawn nodded.

"Sure." He said and they took the picture. The girl then looked at us.

"Are you guys dating?" She asked. Shawn shook his head and I followed his lead.

"No. We're just friends." Shawn said.

"But there's pictures and videos of you guys leaning on each other, with your arms around each other, and kissing." The girl said. I tried to keep my expression neutral as I let Shawn lead.

"We're very affectionate friends." Shawn said. I turned my head away as I struggled to hold back a laugh. Shawn caught on and tapped his foot against mine hard enough that my foot went forward a bit. I looked at his foot.

"Imagine if you had tripped when you did that." I said as I looked up at him.

"What would you do if I had tripped you by accident? Would you sue me?" He asked. I thought for a moment.

"Yes but not for money. I would sue and ask for unreleased songs." I said with a smirk. Shawn threw his head back with laughter.

"Let's get in line to pay for the books." Shawn said as he laughed.

"Okay but you have to admit that was a good try." I said as I laughed too.

"Whatever you say." Shawn said which only made me laugh more. We said goodbye to the girl and then got in line and Shawn paid for the books. After Shawn paid, we carried all of our shopping bags out to the car. We got in, buckled, and I immediately put my head back and closed my eyes.

"I'm pooped. Shopping is so fun but so exhausting." I said. Shawn chuckled as he began driving away from the mall.

"I'm tired too. Should we nap when we get back to my place?" Shawn asked as he reached over and interlaced our fingers. I nodded.

"Yeah." I said. When we got to his place, we put our bags down in the living room and then cuddled in his bed and fell asleep. When I woke up, I had texts from my friend, Lexie. She was the one who had shown me Shawn's vines.

Lexie: DUDE!

Lexie: YOU'RE DATING SHAWN FREAKING MENDES AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?

Me: What?

Lexie: IT'S ALL OVER INSTAGRAM!!! YOU GUYS KISSING, YOU GUYS WITH YOUR ARMS AROUND EACH OTHER, YOU GUYS SAYING I LOVE YOU TO EACH OTHER!!! THERE'S LITERALLY A VIDEO FROM SUBWAY WHERE YOU CAN HEAR HIM CALLING YOU HIS BOOKWORM GIRLFRIEND, SO DON'T EVEN TRY TO DENY IT!!!

I exited out of the texting app as I went into the living room. Shawn was still sleeping as I sat on the couch and went on Instagram. Oh. My. Gosh. I had figured out that someone had videotaped when we were at Subway, I didn't know that you could clearly hear everything that we were saying. They videotaped the conversation about books, they videotaped the conversation when I talked about him complimenting me and me being insecure. They had videotaped and posted so much. I didn't even realize that they were that close to us. I scrolled as I saw more videos. I had no clue that someone hid behind a large, fake plant just to get a video of us kissing while we sat at the bench.

I stood up and went out onto the balcony. Should I wake up Shawn and tell him? No, I'll let him rest. I went back inside, grabbed one of the books that Shawn got me, and then went back out onto the balcony. I tried to focus on the words that were going across the page, but my mind kept going back to the fact that our privacy had really been invaded. It's one thing to take pictures and videos, it's another to record someone's conversation. I heard the door to the balcony open, and then Shawn stepped out.

"Hi baby girl." He said.

"Hi. Um, I have to show you some stuff." I said as I opened up Instagram. I had bookmarked the videos, so I showed it to him. His eyes went wide as he ran his fingers through his hair. He watched the videos and then looked at me.

"What do you want to do?" He asked as he handed his phone back to me.

"Well my friend, Lexie, she texted me and was saying how she didn't know that we're dating. I don't know how to respond to that text. Do I admit it to her but tell her that she can't tell anyone?" I asked. Shawn thought for a moment.

"Do you trust her?" He asked. I nodded.

"Yes." I said. He nodded.

"Okay. Then yeah, tell her that we're dating but that she has to promise not to tell anyone." He said. I nodded, took out my phone and texted that to her, and she said okay.

"She said okay." I said. Shawn nodded.

"Do you, do you want to go public? Or should we hold off on going public and just not say anything?" Shawn asked. I brought my knees to my chest as I thought.

"I'm not ready to go public yet. Would you mind if we held off on going public for a bit longer?" I asked. Shawn shook his head.

"That's fine baby girl. Oh! I have to put the promise ring on you." Shawn said. I smiled and nodded.

"Yeah." I said. Shawn and I stood up and went inside. He got the necklace out and put it on me.

"Do you like it?" He asked. I nodded.

"I love it." I said. He kissed my cheek. He then got the promise ring and sat down next to me on the couch. He stared at me lovingly for a moment, his eyes dancing across my face as he examined it, causing me to blush. He smiled, gave me a kiss, and then began to speak.

"Y/n Y/m/n Y/l/n, I love you so much. I promise to always love you, cherish you, treasure you and adore you. I promise to tell you how beautiful you are, every single day, including the days that we're not together. I promise to always send you good morning and good night texts. I promise to always offer you my shoulder when you need to cry, and I promise that whenever you feel like you can do anything but smile or laugh, I will try my hardest to get you to at least smile, and hopefully laugh. I promise to always be there for you, whether you want me to just sit next to you in silence, or if you want to vent to me. I promise that every single love song that I've written since we met, and that I will write in the future will be about you. My sweet love, I would promise you the moon if that's what you wanted. I would promise you anything. I love you." Shawn said. I kissed him.

"That was beautiful. I love you too." I said. Shawn smiled and opened up the box that held the ring.

"Want me to put this on you?" He asked. I nodded and after he slid it on my finger, we kissed and then we cuddled while we put on a movie. I love Shawn so much.