16. Pregnant Insecurities

I looked in the mirror and sighed. My husband of a little over a year, Shawn Mendes, is currently out. I'm four months pregnant with his baby girl. Don't get me wrong, I'm ecstatic to be pregnant with Shawn's baby, but I don't like how big my stomach is getting. I'm getting stretch marks and I look fat. What if Shawn sees the way that I look and stops loving me? I wasn't sure of when Shawn would be home, so I decided to call my mother in law, Karen.

"Hello darling, how are you?" She asked. Shawn and I told her and all of our families and friends - and the world - that we're pregnant last month. I sighed.

"I've been better. How are you?" I asked.

"I'm good. What's going on?" She asked. Tears fell onto my cheeks.

"I was just looking in the mirror, and I'm getting stretch marks and my stomach is getting bigger. I've gained weight and I look so fat. What if one day Shawn looks at me and doesn't think that I'm beautiful anymore and so he divorces me?" I asked as I cried.

"Oh honey. That's never going to happen. I was just talking to Shawn earlier today over FaceTime and he had such a big smile on his face, and you know what he said?" She asked.

"No, what did he say?" I asked.

"He said: 'Y/n's belly is getting bigger Mum! She's getting a bump! My little princess is in there!'" Karen said.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yup. Y/n, he loves you more than anything. He could never leave you. Your belly growing is just part of your pregnancy, and I'm sure you're rocking it!" She said. I laughed.

"Well thank you. That makes me feel better. Oh, I think that I just heard Shawn pull into the driveway. I'll talk to you later." I said.

"Okay. Please tell him how you feel." She said.

"Okay." I said, and we hung up. Luckily I had quickly wiped my tears away. Shawn smiled at me when he walked in.

"Hi honey. How are my queen and my princess doing?" He asked as he kicked off his shoes and sat on the couch with me.

"We're good. We missed you." I said. Shawn smiled and placed his hand on my belly.

"Well I missed you guys too. How was your day my love?" Shawn asked. I scooted closer to him as he rubbed my belly. I sighed.

"I just got off the phone with your mum." I said.

"Everything okay?" He asked. I turned to face him and held his hands in mine. As our skin touched, I felt electricity spark through me yet I felt safe and warm at the same time.

"I told her that I'm worried that because I've gained weight and I have more stretch marks and all of that, well, I'm worried that you're going to look at me, see that I'm not beautiful, and then divorce me." I said as I looked at our hands. Shawn let go of one of my hands and tilted my head up so I was looking at him.

"Honey, so what if you've gained weight? That means that our little girl is growing. And so what if you have stretch marks? It's just another sign that our little princess is growing in your belly. Honey, you're so beautiful and so gorgeous and so stunning. I know that for a fact, and there's never going to come a time when I think otherwise. And I can one hundred million percent, absolutely promise you that I will never, ever, divorce you. You're Mrs. Y/n Mendes forever, and you're my wife forever. Okay?" He asked. I nodded.

"Okay. Thank you for that. I just get nervous sometimes I guess." I said with a shrug. Shawn tilted his head.

"Why baby?" He asked.

"You're just so amazing in everyway and I'm so beyond in love with you. Like, madly, deeply, insanely, crazily in love with you, and I don't ever want to lose you Shawn." I said.

"Oh honey, you're never going to lose me. Not now, not ever. Can I see your hand for a second please?" He asked.

"Does it matter which one?" I asked.

"The one with your wedding ring on it." He said.

"Okay." I said and stuck out my hand. He put it over his heartbeat, which I could feel.

"Do you feel my heartbeat darling?" Shawn asked. I nodded.

"Yeah." I said.

"That heart, it beats for you and our little girl, and that's never going to change. The only time that it's ever going to change is when we have more kids, okay baby?" He asked. I nodded.

"Okay. I love you so much Shawn." I said. He smiled at me and put his lips on mine. I moved my hand to the back of his neck. I felt my heart race as if I had just run a marathon, I felt sparks shoot through me like fireworks, and I felt butterflies erupt and fly around in my tummy. He soon pulled away.

"I love you so much too." He said. Five months later, Rose Lucille Mendes was born. Shawn and I couldn't be happier.

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