A/n: Okay, so I know that not everyone will relate to this imagine, but today has been really crappy for me because I have a bad relationship with my dad, and things with him were bad today. Writing is an outlet for me, and I got this idea. So, this one is for all the people who have a bad dad, or no dad, or an absent dad. Anyways, please enjoy this imagine. Okay, without further ado, let's begin!

June seventeenth, 2022

"Are you coming into my question and answer session baby?" Shawn Mendes, my fiancé, asked me as he rubbed my back. We were laying on the couch in his dressing room, with me laying on top of him. I nodded my head against his chest.

"Yeah. Well, as long as that's okay with you." I said.

"Of course it's okay with me. I love you, my pretty girl." Shawn said. I picked my head up so I could smile at him. I felt butterflies in my tummy when I saw that he was already smiling at me.

"I love you too handsome." I said. I then put my lips on his. I felt my heart race as if I had just run a marathon, I felt butterflies erupt and fly around in my tummy, and I felt sparks shoot through me like fireworks. There was a knock at the door, so Shawn and I pulled away from each other and sat up.

"Come in." Shawn said. Jake Stras, Shawn's security guard, poked his head in.

"Hey, are you guys ready for Shawn's q and a?" He asked. We nodded and stood up. Shawn interlaced his fingers with mine and I felt electricity spark through me, yet I felt safe and warm at the same time. We walked into Shawn's q and a, and just like usual, Shawn went over the rules, and then told the fans that it would be fine to ask me questions too. This would be my second q and a with Shawn. Shawn picked a fan to ask a question.

"My question is for both of you guys, what did you get your dad's for Father's Day?" She asked. I felt myself go tense and Shawn must have felt it too because he began to rub my back and shoulders. I cut off communication with my dad three years ago. He was toxic and stressful, and I couldn't have that type of person in my life, so I cut him out. It was hard, and it still is hard, but I don't talk to him, which is good for my mental health.

"Well I haven't seen my dad yet and some of you guys are recording so I can't say what I got him." Shawn said with a chuckle. I had to answer, didn't I? I instantly began to stammer over my own words.

"Well I, I um, I don't really, I don't really have a relationship with my dad. That's for personal reasons that I won't go into, but I don't, I don't talk to him so I didn't get him anything. I know that people are probably going to think that that's terrible that I didn't get my dad anything for Father's Day, but a lot of people don't know what my dad is like." I said. I then looked at Shawn, who kissed my cheek and then whispered in my ear.

"Are you okay honey?" He whispered. I nodded.

"Yeah." I whispered back. The q and a continued, and luckily nobody asked about my dad again.

August sixth, 2022

Typically before Shawn's q and a's, we cuddle, but right now, I was sitting on his lap and we were talking with some of the people on his team. Josiah Van Dien, Shawn's tour photographer, was taking pictures of everyone, especially Shawn and I. Brian Craigen, Shawn's best friend, and Andrew Gertler, Shawn's manager, were in the room with us.

"So how many days until the big day?" Brian asked.

"Hold on." I said as I pulled out my phone.

"She has a countdown app on her phone that's counting down until our wedding day." Shawn said as he held me in his lap. I checked the app.

"658 days!" I said. Everybody cheered and I smiled at Shawn.

"I can't wait baby girl." Shawn said with a smile.

"Neither can I honey." I said. There was a knock on the door, and it was Jake, asking if Shawn and I were ready to head into Shawn's q and a. We went in and the fans screamed.

"So, just like usual, if someone is asking a question, please don't talk while they're asking a question, and if you need me to repeat a question, I will. Also, you guys can ask my lovely fiancé, Y/n, questions if you want." Shawn said. We then got started with questions.

"My question is for Y/n. You said in a previous q and a that you cut off communication with your dad, and I think that I want to stop talking to my dad for my own reasons. I was just wondering how hard was it for you to stop talking to him and how long did it take you?" She asked. I thought for a moment as Shawn rubbed my back in small, soothing circles.

"He stopped being a good dad when I was about six or seven years old, so it took me about thirteen or fourteen years before I finally said that I had had enough. I'm still civil to him when I see him at family get togethers, but that's about it. He knows that he won't be at mine and Shawn's wedding. When I was little, I always dreamed of my dad walking me down the aisle, so it's very hard to know that it's going to be my brother walking me down the aisle even though I love my brother so much and he's one of my best friends, but that's on my dad. He's the one that messed up repeatedly. Also, it was, and still is, very hard to have stopped communication with my dad. There's a part of me that holds out hope that he'll change, but I don't think he ever will. I think that he's set in his ways, and I can't change him as much as I want him to change and be a better dad and a better person. But I think that if you feel as though there's someone in your life that's toxic and stressful and causing you pain, then that's not good for you, and you need to do what you feel is best to take care of yourself and your own mental health." I said. Shawn kissed my cheek.

"Good job babe." He said and I smiled at him a little. Shawn then picked the next person.

"My question is for Y/n. Shawn's birthday is in two days, and I was just wondering, do you know what you're going to get him?" She asked. Realization hit me and my eyes widened.

"Wait, isn't today the fifth?" I asked.

"No." Everyone said.

"Today's the sixth?" I asked.

"Yeah." Everyone said. I put my hand to my mouth and turned away from everyone - including Shawn - as I let some tears fall onto my cheeks.

"You okay babe?" Shawn asked, his hand on my shoulder. I wiped some tears away, swallowed some more down, and then turned back to everyone as I tried to compose myself.

"Sorry, um, today is um, today's my dad's birthday. Um, I, sorry." I said as I had to turn away again to let some more tears fall.

"Come here darling." Shawn said and I turned so he could hold me for a moment. He rubbed my back, kissed my head, and then I sat up, wiped the tears away, cleared my throat, and then looked at the fan that had asked the question.

"I have an idea of what I want to get Shawn for his birthday, but obviously I can't say it since he's right here. Also, I won't be able to give it to him until we get home, and I think that I would need to kick him out of the house for a bit so I can set it up." I said.

"What? Can't I just hang out upstairs?" Shawn asked. I giggled and shook my head.

"No, because I don't know how long it's going to take. I'll have to have it shipped to my mom's house since we're not going to be home when it comes in, and I think that I'll ask her if she can come over and help me set stuff up." I said. Shawn kissed my cheek.

"Don't spend too much money on me babe. I don't like it when you spend money on me." Shawn said.

"You're worth everything in the world." I said. He chuckled, shook his head at me, and then the q and a continued. Thoughts of my dad swarmed around in my head, and after the q and a, as soon as we got back to Shawn's dressing room, he pulled me in for a tight hug, and I began to sob in his arms. I didn't even care about the fact that Josiah, Andrew, and Brian were watching all of this happen, I just needed to be in Shawn's arms right now.

"What's wrong?" Andrew asked, but Shawn and I didn't answer. Shawn knew how much I needed him right now. I buried my face in his neck for a little bit as he held me close to him and kissed the side of my head. I then looked at him.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that I was crying a bit in you q and a." I said. Shawn wiped my tears away. I heard the door shut and realized that Josiah, Andrew, and Brian had left the room to give us privacy.

"It's okay baby girl. I know that your dad is a tough topic for you, and you were reminded of him not just once but twice today. It's okay honey." Shawn said. I nodded. Him and I sat down and talked about happy things to get my mind off of my father. Soon, it was time for him to go on stage.

"Do you mind if I stay back here for the show? I just feel really tired from crying and I need to order your present." I asked and said as Shawn got up. He gave me a quick kiss.

"No, that's fine. I love you." He said. I smiled.

"I love you too. Go kill it!" I said.

"I will, just for you babe." He said with a wink. I laughed and then he left the room. I got out my laptop and began ordering Shawn's present - I wanted to get a bunch of mine and Shawn's engagement photos framed, and then I would hang them up on our kitchen wall. I ordered Shawn's gift and soon got a text from Josiah. It was a picture of Shawn holding me as I cried and had been taken earlier, but you could barely tell that I was crying since my face was buried in Shawn's neck.

Josiah: Sorry if this was a bad moment to take a picture, but you and Shawn are such a beautiful couple. Plus, I feel like this captures who you guys really are: a couple that knows when one needs the other, and you guys are always there for each other.

Me: Thank you so much for this. Do you mind if I post it on Instagram?

Josiah: No, that's fine.

I posted the picture of Shawn and I on Instagram, but put a black and white filter on it. You could see that Shawn had his eyes closed as he kissed the side of my head and held me close to him. I wrote the caption.

"To the fans in Shawn's q and a today: I'm sorry for my tears. When I realized what today was, I felt overwhelmed and saddened by different emotions, and it came out in tears. I apologize for crying in front of you guys, but for the past three years, today hasn't been very easy.

"To Josiah, Shawn's AMAZING photographer: Thank you for this picture, and for the kind words that you said when you sent it to me. You've always been able to capture the love that Shawn and I have for each other perfectly and we can't thank you enough for that.

"To Shawn, my amazing fiancé: If I were to thank you a million times for everything, it still wouldn't be enough. Thank you for understanding and respecting the very hard decision that I made three years ago, before I even met you, and thank you for understanding and respecting the decisions that have been made, due to that situation, since we met. Thank you for pulling me into your arms for this tight hug as I cried. I didn't even have to say anything, but you knew that I needed that hug from you. Shawn, you aren't just my fiancé, you're my best friend, my rock, my biggest supporter, my everything. I love you more than words will ever be able to express." I wrote. People instantly commented on it.

@randomuser: omg this is such a beautiful moment between you guys.

@randomuser: I was at the q and a, and we completely understand why you cried.

I read through some of the comments. I was tempted to call my dad and wish him a happy birthday, but I didn't know if I should do that or not. I probably should say something to him, right? I called him and he quickly answered.

"Y/n?" He asked.

"Hi. I just wanted to say happy birthday. I have to go." I said, and then I hung up. Shawn soon came back after the show and smiled at me.

"Hey babe." He said. I smiled at him.

"Hi honey. Are we going to hang out here for a bit?" I asked. He nodded.

"Yeah." He said as he sat down next to me.

"Um, I called my dad." I said. His eyes widened.

"You did?" Shawn asked. I nodded.

"Yeah. I wished him happy birthday and then told him I had to go and hung up." I said. Shawn nodded.

"How do you feel?" Shawn asked. I shrugged.

"I feel fine." I said. He nodded and gave me a kiss.

"I love you and I'm very proud of you for doing that." Shawn said. I smiled at him as I rubbed his cheek with my thumb.

"I love you too and thank you." I said. Shawn smiled at me and then checked his phone. I saw him swipe to open the notification that he had gotten about my post. I saw him like the photo and then read my caption. When he was done reading it, he smiled at me.

"That was beautiful my love. I'm proud of you." He said. I smiled.

"Thank you." I said. Shawn and I soon got on the tour bus. I'm so grateful to have Shawn in my life. I don't know what I would do without him. I love him so much.