In two days, my husband, Shawn Mendes, and I will celebrate our one year anniversary and we'll start to try and make a baby. Shawn was in his office upstairs, writing lyrics. Even though he's taking a break from music, he's still been writing, he just hasn't been recording anything. I began to make dinner, and thoughts filled my head.

Shawn would make a great father, I knew that. I saw him with my cousin's baby and he was great. But would I be a good mom? Was I ready? Did Shawn think I was ready? I had barely started to make dinner when I stopped. I gripped onto the counter as anxiety and self-doubt filled my body. My breathing changed. I needed Shawn, but I didn't want to bother him. Tears came to my eyes and spilled onto my cheeks. Could I do this? Could I be a mother? When Shawn goes on tour, I would have to take care of however many kids we have by myself. Could I handle that?

"Hey, what's going on?" Shawn asked. I looked up and saw the worry on his face. I felt bad, knowing that it was because of me that he was worried.

"Anxiety." I said, barely able to speak.

"Okay, let's sit down and talk it out, okay?" He asked. I nodded.

"Okay." I said. He held my hand and led me over to a chair at our kitchen table. I sat down, still crying, and he got on his knees and kneeled in front of me.

"What's going on? What's making you anxious?" He asked, but my anxiety was too bad. I couldn't speak.

"My anxiety. I can't -" I started before sobbing some more.

"Hey, look at me honey. Can you do that? Can you focus on just me?" He asked. I nodded but when I looked into his eyes, I cried more because I saw the worry.

"I'm s-sorry that I'm worrying you." I said. Shawn rubbed my legs.

"It's okay, I'm your husband so it's my job to worry about you. What can I do to help you?" He asked. I thought for a moment.

"Band. Can I play with, with your wedding band?" I asked. He nodded and smiled.

"Of course you can babe, and I want you to try taking some deep breaths for me while you're playing with my wedding band, okay?" He asked. I nodded and began playing with his wedding band.

"Okay." I said.

"Talk whenever you're ready. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere." He said. I nodded and played with his wedding band as I took a few deep breaths. I slowly stopped crying and then looked at him.

"Can we sit on the couch please?" I asked. He nodded.

"Of course we can honey." He said. We sat down on the couch and Shawn held me on his lap.

"Um, I have about a million questions going through my mind right now." I said as Shawn rubbed my back.

"Okay. Do you want to write them down, and then we can go through them little by little?" Shawn asked. I nodded.

"Yeah." I said. I got off his lap.

"I'll go get some paper." He said. I nodded and he left the room, got some paper and a pencil, and came back.

"Thank you." I said.

"You're welcome. I'll stay right here while you write, but I won't look until you're done and want to show me, okay?" He asked. I nodded.

"Okay." I said.

"Do you want me to rub your back?" He asked. I nodded.

"Yes please." I said. I picked up the pencil with my shaky hand, and began to write my questions. But as I began to write them, the anxiety came back and I began crying again.

"Hey, shhh, just write it down as best as you can and then we'll talk about it." Shawn said. I nodded and wrote down the questions as best as I could as Shawn rubbed my back.

"O-okay, I'm all done." I said as I handed the paper to Shawn. He frowned as he read them out loud.

"Do you think I'm going to be a good mother? Will I be able to make our kids happy? Do you really think that I can do this? What am I going to do when you go on tour and it's just me with the kids? What if I fail miserably at being a mother? What if I can't even give you a baby?" Shawn read, and when he looked at me, he had tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry honey. I'm sorry." I said. Shawn put the paper down and pulled me close to him. I heard him sniffle.

"You're going to be the best mother ever. I see how you are with Aiden, and it's so beautiful. Please honey, don't have these doubts. Let's go through this list, little by little, alright darling?" Shawn asked. I nodded as I looked up at him.

"Okay." I said. He picked the list up and looked at it.

"Do I think you're going to be a good mother? I know that you're going to be a great mother. Will you make our kids happy? Yes. Do I really think that you can do this? I know you can do this. When I'm on tour, I'm sure people will be here to help. You're not going to fail at all at being a mother. If you can't give me a baby, we can adopt." He said and then set the list down.

"But I want to be able to give you your own baby." I said.

"I know, and I want that too, but if we can't have a baby on our own, then there's always surrogacy and adoption." Shawn said. I nodded.

"I'm sorry that I worried you." I said.

"It's okay. It's okay. Do you feel any better?" He asked as we both slowly stopped crying. I thought for a moment and then shrugged.

"I don't know. Shawn, are you sure about those things? About what you said?" I asked. Shawn nodded as he rubbed my cheek.

"I'm positive honey. I'm one hundred million percent positive. You, my sweet love, and my sweet wife, are going to be such an amazing mother." He said. I nodded.

"Okay. Thank you. You're going to be the best daddy ever Shawn." I said with a smile. Shawn smiled back and then put his lips on mine. I felt my heart race as if I had just run a marathon, I felt butterflies erupt and fly around in my tummy, and I felt sparks shoot through me like fireworks.

"Thank you baby girl." Shawn said.

"You're welcome. Oh crap, I still have to make dinner." I said as I went to get up, but Shawn gently pulled me back down.

"No baby. Let's order pizza or something." He said.

"Are you sure?" I asked. Shawn nodded and then kissed my lips gently.

"Yup. I love you honey." He said.

"I love you too." I said. Shawn and I ordered some pizza. Two days later, we began trying to get pregnant, and about a month later we became pregnant. The following February, Rose Lucille Mendes was born. About two years after her birth, Jacob Alexander Scott Mendes was born, and then two years after his birth, Julia Kennedy Mendes was born. I love Shawn, and our family, so much.