A/n: Explicit language in this one! Anyways, I hope that you guys like it. Okay, please enjoy, and let's begin!
I was scrolling through Instagram when I saw a video of my boyfriend. I turned up the volume in time to hear a girl with an accent yell to Shawn "I'M SINGLE AS FUCK!". What surprised me was Shawn's response.
"I'm so surprised. You're gorgeous. I'm surprised you're single." Shawn said in the video, and any confidence that I had previously been feeling - due to Shawn texting me saying that I'm gorgeous - went away pretty quickly.
"I'm single!" The girl yelled in the video.
"Don't chase the wrong guys. Make sure he's the right one." Shawn had told her.
"Ugh." I groaned as I set down my phone and began to cry. Shawn's constantly telling me that he thinks that I'm the most gorgeous girl in the world, and that I'm so beautiful. Hearing him tell the girl that he was surprised that she's single because she's gorgeous made me feel like shit. My phone rang, and it was Shawn, but I ignored it. I was too upset. I listened to his voicemail.
"Hey darling, it's me. I just really miss my gorgeous girl and I want to hear your voice and see how you're doing. Call me when you hear this please." He said. I didn't call him back. I soon got a text from him.
My man: Hey honey, I just left you a voicemail. I miss your voice and I want to hear it, so call me when you see this please.
I didn't call him. Instead, I turned on the television and tried to get my mind off of things. I've always been an insecure person, but to hear my boyfriend, the love of my life, call another girl gorgeous? I felt so shitty. My phone rang again, but it was my mom this time. I was still upset and I didn't want her to hear me like that, so I didn't answer, and let it go to voicemail. I listened to the voicemail that she left me.
"Hi honey, it's me. Shawn called me and said that you're not answering his texts or calls so he was worried about you, and now that you're not answering my phone call, I'm worried. I'm on my way over to check on you. Bye." She said. I groaned. I didn't want to see anyone or talk to anyone or anything. About five to ten minutes later, the doorbell rang. I got up and answered it. My mom was standing there.
"Hi mom." I said.
"Hi. What's wrong? Why aren't you answering anyone's texts or phone calls?" She asked.
"Come on in and I'll show you." I said. She came in and I showed my mom the video as I cried.
"Oh honey." She said.
"Any little bit of self confidence that I was feeling has gone out the window. My boyfriend called another girl gorgeous and that makes me feel so insecure." I said. She held me as I cried.
"You should call him and work this out." She said. I pulled away from her and shook my head.
"No. I just feel so hurt right now. You can call him and tell him what's going on, I don't care." I said. She nodded and then pulled out her phone and called Shawn. He seemed to pick up right away and I could hear him.
"Hey Shawn, I'm with her now. I guess a fan yelled 'I'm single as fuck!' to you and you said that you were surprised because she's gorgeous and that's making Y/n feel really insecure." My mom said. She then paused before trying to hand me the phone. I shook my head.
"No. I don't want to talk to him." I said. My mom held the phone out more.
"Please honey, he wants to talk to you." She said.
"No. You don't understand how insecure I feel right now because of that. I don't want to talk to him. I'll talk to him when I'm ready." I said. My mom put the phone back up to her ear.
"Did you hear all of that?" She asked. I could hear his response.
"Yes. Please tell her that I love her and I don't care what time it is, when she's ready to talk, I'm here." He said. My mom went to repeat him but I nodded.
"I heard him." I said. My mom and Shawn soon hung up.
"Do you want to be alone right now?" My mom asked. I nodded as I wiped away tears.
"Yes please." I said. She nodded, gave me a hug, and left. I then got a text from Shawn.
My man: Honey, you're the most gorgeous girl in the galaxy and I only have eyes for you, I promise. Call me when you're ready to talk. I don't give a fuck if the phone call wakes me up or if I'm in a q and a, I'll still answer. I love you my darling, precious, beautiful, girl.
Me: How can you say that you only have eyes for me when you literally called another girl gorgeous? You don't understand Shawn, hearing you say that to another girl makes me feel so fucking shitty. Any confidence that I had been feeling before I saw that video is gone now and I feel so beyond insecure. Please just leave me alone and I'll contact you when I'm ready.
My man: Are you still going to send me good morning and good night texts?
Me: Yes, but that's all you'll be hearing from me until I'm ready to talk.
My man: Okay. I love you.
I didn't respond. Shawn knows how insecure I get, and he knows that he can be videotaped and recorded at any moment, so why would he say that, knowing that I could possibly find out?
That night I texted Shawn saying good night and that I was going to bed, but I had a hard time falling asleep. I only got a mere four hours of sleep. When I woke up, I immediately went into the bathroom and looked at the mirror. I examined my face, criticizing every single thing about it, and then looked down at the stretch marks on my stomach. I sighed and got ready for work. It was an eventful day at work, and all I wanted to do when I got home was text Shawn and tell him about everything that had happened, but I still felt like shit, so I didn't. I then got a text from him.
My man: I can't stand this. I can't stand not talking to you. Please call me so I can hear your voice. I don't even care if you scream at me, we need to fix this.
I sat there, rereading the text message, and debated whether I should call him or not. I decided not to, because I knew that if I did, I would break down crying. My phone dinged.
My man: Babe, we need to communicate in order to have a healthy relationship.
Me: What happened to you waiting for me to be ready to talk?
My man: I'm sorry. I just really miss you and so not being able to talk to you is making things harder.
That was the last straw. I called him and he answered right away.
"Hi babe." He said.
"So this is making things harder for you?" I asked. I felt so angry. He sighed.
"Well when I can't see you things are already hard, and so to not be able to talk to you makes things harder." He said.
"Oh I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that you're the one that fucked up and was recorded calling another girl gorgeous, making your girlfriend feel like absolute shit, but things are harder for you. Why don't you listen why I place the world's smallest violin for you?" I asked.
"Y/n, I don't know what to do to fix this. What can I do to fix this?" He asked.
"Don't call other girls gorgeous! How would you like it if the tables were turned and some guy told me that he's single as fuck and I said that that surprises me because he's handsome? How would that make you feel Shawn?" I asked. He sighed and I could practically see him running his fingers through his hair in frustration.
"Like shit." He said.
"Exactly! So how the fuck do you think I feel right now Shawn?" I yelled.
"Like shit." He said.
"Yup." I said.
"Well what was I supposed to do when she yelled that Y/n?" He asked.
"Smiled at her and laughed because someone yelled that at you!" I said. He sighed again.
"Babe, I'm sorry. I can't change it. It's in the past. If I could, I would." He said.
"I don't know. I don't know what to do Shawn. I'm just really hurt right now." I said. Shawn began to cry, which broke my heart.
"I'm so fucking sorry honey. I didn't mean to hurt you." He said.
"I have to go." I said, and hung up. I couldn't handle this. I sat on the couch and cried. My phone lit up and I saw that Shawn had posted a photo on Instagram. I looked and it was a picture of me smiling at something. It was taken not too long before he left for tour. I read the caption.
"'You are unrepeatable. There is a magic about you that is all your own...' - D. M. Dillinger. Missing this gorgeous and amazing girl so much right now. I wish I could be home to hold you in my arms and whisper to you how much I love you and how beautiful you are." Shawn wrote. I liked the photo but I was standing my ground on how I felt.
The next day, after I got home from school, the doorbell rang. I got up and there was a man standing there with a vase of sunflowers and roses in his hands.
"Are you Miss Y/l/n?" He asked. I nodded.
"Yes." I said.
"These are for you. Have a nice day." He said as he handed me the flowers. I thanked him and brought the flowers over to the kitchen table and set them down. I looked at the card that was attached to them.
"I will send you a billion bouquets if I need to. I love you darling. Xx - Shawn." It said. I smiled as tears formed in my eyes. I then sat down, pulled out my phone, and called him. He answered pretty quickly.
"Y/n?" He asked.
"Hi. Is this a good time to talk?" I asked.
"I'm at a q and a session right now, can I call you right after?" He asked. I nodded even though he couldn't see me.
"Yeah. Bye." I said.
"Okay, bye." He said, and we hung up. A little bit later, he called me.
"Hi." I said.
"Hey." He said.
"Thank you so much for the flowers. They're so beautiful and lovely." I said.
"Not as beautiful and lovely as you." He said, causing me to blush.
"Stoppppp. You're making me blush!" I said with a laugh and Shawn laughed too.
"God I've missed that laugh." He said.
"Um, I'm sorry about they way that I've been acting these past few days. I just felt really hurt and upset." I said.
"It's okay darling. You had every single right to get upset with me and to feel that way." Shawn said. I put him on speaker and played with the promise ring that he gave me six months into the relationship.
"Yesterday, all I wanted to do was call you because it was so eventful at work, but I was still hurt, so I didn't." I said.
"That's okay. I have some time right now if you want to talk about everything." He said. I smiled at the ring and told him about everything that had happened.
"The Instagram post that you made was beautiful by the way. Thank you for that." I said.
"You're welcome honey. You truly are unrepeatable. I swear to God, there's no one quite like you Y/n Y/l/n." He said and I blushed again.
"Thank you. There's no one quite like you either Shawn Mendes." I said. He chuckled. "I wish that you were home so you could put your head on my lap and I could run my fingers through your hair." I said. Shawn hummed.
"I know baby. I miss doing that, but we'll do that when I get home." He said.
"Promise?" I asked.
"I promise." He said. There was a pause.
"I miss you Shawn." I said as I held back tears.
"I know honey. I miss you too. I can tell that you want to cry, just let it out." He said. I did and my body shook with sobs.
"I just love you so much and I'm so fucking scared that I'm going to lose you." I said as I cried.
"Oh, my darling girl, you're never going to lose me. Never." He said.
"Promise me Shawn, promise me that we're always going to be together and that we'll never be without each other." I said.
"I promise you Y/n, we're always going to be together and we're never going to be without each other." He said.
"I don't want to lose you. I want to be with you for the rest of my life and grow old with you and be buried with you and just always be with you." I said as I continued to cry.
"I know honey, I want that too, and that's all going to happen." He said.
"Do you promise?" I asked.
"I promise babe. I have to go, but we'll talk later okay?" He asked.
"Okay. I love you Shawn Mendes." I said.
"I love you too Y/n Y/l/n. It's killing me that you're crying right now and there's nothing that I can do about it." He said.
"I'm okay, really. I'll talk to you later honey. Thank you again for the flowers." I said as I began to calm down.
"Okay my love. You're welcome." He said. We said goodbye to each other and hung up. Although I'm not grateful for Shawn calling another girl gorgeous, I am grateful for the fact that we made up. I love Shawn more than words will ever be able to say.
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