A/n: Explicit language and lots of drama in this one! Anyways, please enjoy this imagine. Okay, let's begin!

"Momma, when will Daddy be here?" My youngest child, Sarah asked. I sighed. It was her second birthday party and Shawn still hadn't shown up.

"He'll be here when he can, okay?" I asked. She sadly nodded and began to walk away.

"He's not coming Sarah. He never does." Rose, my eldest child said. My heart broke at her words. Eventually the party ended and everyone left. I put the kids to bed and sat down on the couch. Shawn walked in an hour later.

"Hey Y/n, what are you doing up?" He asked.

"Do you remember what today is?" I asked. He thought for a moment before shaking his head.

"No. What's today?" He asked.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I asked.

"No. I really don't remember what today is." He said.

"It's our youngest child's second birthday!" I practically yelled. His eyes went wide and he covered his face with his hands.

"Shit. And I completely forgot and didn't show up. Wow, I'm a terrible father." He said.

"Where have you been?" I asked.

"Out at a bar with the band." He said. I sighed.

"I can't believe you Shawn. You know, when we first got married, I thought that you were going to be this amazing father who was always going to there for his kids, but I guess that you're the opposite. When Sarah asked when you would be here, I told her that you would get here when you could. But do you want to know what your oldest child said?" I asked.

"What did she say?" Shawn asked.

"She said 'He's not coming Sarah. He never does.'" I said. Shawn's eyes widened and he sat next to me on the couch and began to cry.

"Oh my gosh I'm a terrible father." He said.

"Your kids aren't the only ones you've been neglecting." I said. Shawn looked at me.

"What are you talking about?" He asked.

"You have missed dinner every night. We were supposed to have date night last week but you were too busy at the studio to just have one fucking dinner with your wife!" I basically yelled.

"I was working!" Shawn said.

"You're at the studio all of the time! And, what, you couldn't miss one night just so you could spend time with your wife?" I asked.

"You're so fucking clingy." He said.

"You know that I hate that word. And how am I clingy when I barely see my husband and just want to spend time with him?" I asked.

"You just are. I'm tired, I'm going to bed." Shawn said, and walked away. I went up to bed and he was facing away from where I lay. I laid in bed and did the same. I still loved Shawn of course, but how could he do this not just to me, but to our kids too? The next morning I woke up without him. I called him and he didn't answer, so I called his manager Andrew.

"Hey Y/n, what's up?" He asked.

"Do you know where Shawn is?" I asked.

"Yeah he's here at the studio. Why?" He asked.

"He always leaves a note saying where he's going and he didn't." I said. Andrew sighed.

"He seems upset but he won't talk about it." Andrew said.

"Yeah probably because he knows that he fucked up. Or at least I hope he knows that." I said.

"Oh gosh." Andrew said. I then heard Sarah crying.

"I have to go take care of mine and Shawn's kid. Please remind him about her so he doesn't forget his damn kids." I said before hanging up. I went down the hall and picked up Sarah.

"Momma, where's Daddy?" She asked.

"He's at work honey." I said.

"Why isn't he ever home?" Sarah asked as she cried.

"I don't know honey. I'm going to ask Meimei to come over, I have to go somewhere." I said. She stopped crying and I set her down so I could call my mom.

"Hey sweetie, what's up?" She asked.

"I have to go to the studio and scream at my husband. Can you please come over and watch the kids?" I asked.

"Um, yeah. What happened?" She asked. I told her everything and she seemed upset too. She soon came over and I drove to the studio. I knocked on the door and Andrew was surprised to see me.

"Y/n? What are you doing here?" He asked.

"I need to scream at my husband." I said. He let me in and I soon spotted Shawn.

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"I am disgusted by you. Do you want to know what Sarah asked me this morning?" I asked.

"Oh gosh. What did she ask?" He asked.

"She asked why you're never home." I said. By now Shawn's team had left the room to give us space.

"Did she really?" He asked with wide eyes. I nodded.

"Yes. You need to get your priorities straight. I understand that you love what you do for a living, but you need to start living for your family." I said.

"I do live for my family!" He yelled.

"No you don't Shawn! You're always away from us for work and I'm sick of it!" I yelled.

"Well if you're so sick of it maybe we should get a divorce!" He yelled. I took a step back.

"No. I don't want a divorce. Let's do marriage counseling." I said, no longer yelling.

"No. I want a divorce. I'm sick of you nagging at me Y/n." Shawn said. Tears formed in my eyes.

"So you're just going to give up? You're not even going to try?" I asked. He shook his head.

"No. I have more important things to do." Shawn said.

"Fine. You want a divorce? Have your lawyers send me the papers and I'll sign them." I said, and walked out. Shawn and I told the kids that night that we were going to get a divorce and they cried. He slept on the couch until he found a place of his own. I got custody of the kids during the week, and he had them on the weekends. The day that we signed the divorce papers, he posted a black picture on Instagram. I read the caption and cried.

"It's with a heavy heart that I'm announcing that my wife Y/n and I have gotten a divorce. Obviously because we have three kids, we will remain in each other's lives. Please respect our privacy during this time." He wrote. I cried and cried and cried. I still loved him, but at the same time I hated him for the type of husband and father that he had become. I never thought that this would happen.

One year later

"Are you ready to go to Daddy's?" I asked my son Jake. He nodded.

"Yeah. Mommy?" He asked.

"Yes honey?" I asked.

"Do you still love Daddy?" He asked. I stopped in my tracks. How do I answer him. He's only five.

"I never stopped loving him. I just didn't like the person that he had become." I said. Since the divorce, Shawn was spending more time out of work and with the kids. He had changed, I'll give him that. Jake nodded and soon I got all of the kids in the car and drove to Shawn's house. We rang the doorbell and Shawn answered. He smiled at his kids.

"Hi guys! Come give Daddy a hug." He said. Rose was still a little hesitant around him. But she eventually gave him a hug. The kids then went inside. Shawn looked at me. "Hey."

"Hi." I said.

"Do you, um, do you want to come in?" He asked. I shook my head.

"No. Thank you though." I said.

"Come on Y/n, don't you want to see where the kids live on the weekends?" He asked. I thought for a moment.

"Daddy come play with me!" I heard Sarah yell.

"I will in a minute sweet pea." Shawn said. He then looked at me. I sighed and nodded.

"Okay." I said, and we walked in. It was a nice place. He showed me the living room, where the kids were playing. He showed me the kid's bedrooms and even his bedroom. We then went downstairs and sat at the kitchen table.

"So, what do you think?" He asked as he handed me a water.

"I like it. It's nice." I said.

"Thanks." He said. I nodded and then looked at the fridge. He had pictures of the kids on there, but there was a framed picture on the dining room wall that I could see and it surprised me.

"Shawn?" I asked. He looked up at me.

"Yes?" He asked.

"Why do you have that picture up?" I asked as I pointed at a picture of him and I from our wedding day. It was taken during our first dance. I looked at it and was suddenly taken back to that day.

"You look so beautiful. See, I told you that I would love the wedding dress." Shawn whispered as Ed Sheeran sang Thinking Out Loud.

"Thank you baby. You look so handsome." I said and Shawn kissed my cheek.

"I love you honey." Shawn said.

"I love you too. Together forever, right?" I asked. He nodded.

"Forever and ever." He said.

I was snapped out of my thoughts by the sound of Shawn saying my name.

"Y/n?" He asked. I looked at him.

"Sorry, what?" I asked.

"Are you okay?" He asked, and I could tell that he was genuinely concerned.

"Yeah, just um, just remembering that moment." I said. Shawn smiled a little and nodded.

"Did you hear what I said about why I have it up?" He asked. I shook my head.

"No. I'm sorry, what was it?" I asked.

"I have it up because it was one of the best days of my life." Shawn said.

"Shawn we've been divorced for a year now, and won't it give the kids false hope?" I asked. He shook his head.

"They've asked about it and I've explained it to them. They understand." He said.

"I don't know Shawn. This morning Jake asked me if I still love you." I said as I looked at my water.

"What was your answer?" He asked. I sighed.

"I told him that I never stopped loving you but that I just didn't like the person that you had become." I said as I looked up at him. Shawn nodded.

"I never stopped loving you either Y/n. I'm sorry that I turned into someone that you didn't like." Shawn said.

"You used the wrong word." I said. Shawn tilted his head.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"I hated you. I hated the way that your priorities weren't in order. You put work first, and your kids and wife came second, maybe even third. It wasn't dislike Shawn. It was hate. But the love was there at the same time. But then I hated you even more for breaking my heart. When we got married you swore that we would never get a divorce, but then we got a divorce. You used to say that you were going to be a great father, and always there for them. What happened?" I said and asked as I began to cry. Shawn looked heartbroken.

"I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened, but I fucked up and I'll never forgive myself for that. I became the person that I never thought that I would become and I hated myself. Y/n, you have to understand, I've never stopped loving you. Not for a single second. I miss you so much and I want you back." He said.

"Shawn we got a divorce for a reason." I said.

"Yeah and it was stupid of me that I said no to marriage counseling. I've changed Y/n. I'll take a break from music, I'll do whatever it takes. I want to live with you again and be with you again. I love you Y/n, I always have." He said.

"Shawn..." I said with a sigh. We were both still crying.

"Y/n, no one knows me better than you do, and no one knows you better than I do. You admitted that you still love me. Please Y/n. My life has been terrible without you and the kids. I'll go to counseling with you, I'll do anything. Please." Shawn pleaded. I thought for a moment.

"Okay. Let's go to counseling." I said. Shawn stood up and I stood up too. He hugged me and held me tight. The last time that we had hugged we were married.

"Mommy? Daddy? Are you back together?" Sarah asked. Shawn and I pulled away from the hug and looked at her.

"Not quite yet honey but we're going to try and work things out." I said. She nodded. She then looked at Shawn.

"When are you going to come play with me Daddy?" She asked.

"I'll be right there, I just need to talk to your mom for a minute." He said. She nodded and walked away before turning back to me.

"Shawn you have to be serious about this. If we're going to go to counseling, we need to really talk when we're there. And we need to know what we want the end goal to be." I said. Shawn took my hands in his gently. I felt electricity spark through me, yet I felt safe and warm at the same time. I had missed that feeling.

"The end goal is to be married to you again. That's what I want. I want to be married to you again." Shawn said. Tears formed in my eyes.

"That's my end goal too. Wait, I'm about to ask you a question and I need you to answer me honestly." I said. Shawn nodded.

"Okay." He said.

"Have been seeing any other girls since the divorce?" I asked. Shawn shook his head violently.

"No. You're the only girl I want Y/n Y/l/n." He said.

"Mendes." I said.

"What?" He asked.

"I didn't change my last name back. I'm still Mendes." I said. He smiled and hugged me.

"That makes me happy." He said. I smiled and nodded.

"Let's go play with our kids. We'll figure out the counseling and everything later." I said. Shawn nodded and we went to play with the kids.

Eight months later

Shawn and I figured everything out in counseling and it went really well. A lot of tears were shed and there was some yelling, but we worked things out. He even sold his house and we moved back in together. We were back to being boyfriend and girlfriend. His fans and other people had been spreading rumors about us, so Shawn took to Instagram to address them. He posted a new picture that we had taken of us and the kids. I read the caption.

"Yes, the rumors are true. Y/n and I are back together. Eight months ago she went to drop off the kids at my house and I invited her in. We talked and realized that we had never stopped loving each other and that we wanted to try again. We went to counseling and worked things out. I even moved back in with her and the kids. I love you Y/n Mendes, and I love our family too." Shawn wrote, and I liked the photo. I then went over to him on the couch.

"Hi baby." I said. He kissed my cheek.

"Hi honey. Can you stay right here for a second please?" He asked. I nodded and he went upstairs but quickly came back down. He had something in his hand.

"What's that?" I asked. He motioned for me to stand up, and that's when he got down on one knee. I started to cry.

"I told you eight months ago that my end goal of counseling was to be married to you again. I love you so much Y/n, I really do. I want to marry you again and have you be mine forever again. Will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me again?" He asked. I nodded as I cried.

"Yes! Yes I will marry you again!" I said. Shawn smiled and put the ring on my finger. When the kids got home, we told them that we were going to be getting married again, and they cheered. Our families were happy for us (again).

One year later

I wore the same dress that I did the first time I married Shawn as I walked down the aisle to him again. He cried, just like he did the first time. The officiator got to our vows.

"Do you, Shawn, take Y/n to be your wife, to cherish in friendship and love today, tomorrow, and for as long as the two of you live, to trust and honor her, to love her faithfully, through the best and the worst, whatever may come, and if you should ever doubt, to remember your love for each other and the reason why you came together with her this day?" The officiator asked.

"I do." Shawn said, and I smiled.

"Do you, Y/n, take Shawn to be your husband, to cherish in friendship and love today, tomorrow and for as long as the two of you live, to trust and honor him, to love him faithfully, through the best and the worst, whatever may come, and if you should ever doubt, to remember your love for each other and the reason why you came together with him this day?" The officiator asked. I nodded.

"I do." I said.

"By the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Shawn, you may kiss your bride." The officiator said. He put his lips on mine and our lips moved in sync as I felt my heart race as if I had just run a marathon, I felt butterflies erupt and fly around in my tummy, and I felt sparks shoot through me like fireworks. Shawn and I pulled away and smiled at each other before walking back down the aisle. Before we went to the reception, Shawn and I went in another room to have a private moment. We hugged and we both cried a bit.

"I don't want another divorce Shawn. Promise me that this is it, promise me that we'll be together forever." I said as I held his face in my hands. He nodded.

"I promise baby. I stupidly let you go once, I'm never going to let you go ever again. I love you Y/n. I love you so fucking much." Shawn said as he hugged me again.

"I love you so fucking much too." I said. We held each other tight, but soon there was a knock on the door. Shawn opened the door, it was his dad, Manny.

"Sorry to interrupt, but the DJ wants to introduce you guys." Manny said. We nodded and soon heard the DJ announce us.

"Introducing, once again, Mr. and Mrs. Shawn Mendes!" The DJ said, and Shawn and I walked in. We immediately started to dance to Thinking Out Loud, just like we had at our first wedding.

"I love you Shawn." I said.

"I love you too Y/n. Oh my gosh you're my wife again. I'm so happy baby. I'm sorry for my mistakes and the divorce." Shawn said.

"It's okay Shawn, I forgive you. It's in the past baby. Let's just never talk about it ever again, okay?" I asked. He nodded.

"Okay." He said. We danced the night away, and we even danced with our kids too. Jimmy Fallon came up to me and gave me a hug.

"You're Mrs. Mendes again!" He said. I laughed and nodded as I watched Shawn dance with Rose.

"Yup. I'm so happy that we worked everything out." I said. Jimmy nodded.

"Did you know that he was supposed to be on my show a week after the divorce was announced?" Jimmy asked. I shook my head.

"No. I'm guessing that he canceled it?" I asked. Jimmy nodded.

"He called me personally and said that he wouldn't be able to come. He was crying and saying that he had lost everything. He said that he had messed up majorly by saying that you guys should get a divorce. But he seems to have changed." Jimmy said. I nodded and looked back at Shawn. He was tossing Sarah in the air, causing her to giggle and squeal.

"Yeah. He has and I'm proud of him for that. I'm just happy that we're a family again. He promised me that this is it. We're not going to get another divorce. He promised that we'll be together forever, and I believe him. I love him Jimmy. I never stopped." I said.

"Well he never stopped loving you. Congratulations Y/n." Jimmy said. I thanked him and he walked away. I walked over to Shawn and when he saw me, he smiled.

"Hey wifey." He said as he set Sarah down. I wrapped my arms around him.

"Hi hubby. Are you excited for our honeymoon?" I asked. Shawn nodded.

"Yeah. I love you honey." Shawn said. I smiled.

"I love you too. I'm so happy to have you back." I said. Shawn kissed me.

"I'm so happy to have you back too baby. And the kids too." He said. Soon, we left for our honeymoon. We were about to make love for the first time as husband and wife in a long time, when he stopped me for a moment.

"What's up baby?" I asked. He held my face in his hands.

"What do you think about making another baby?" Shawn asked. My eyes widened.

"Really?" I asked. He nodded.

"Yeah. I want another baby with you. I can tell that Rose still has some anger towards me, and I want another kid with you, one that I can be a better father with from the very beginning." Shawn said. I thought for a moment before nodding.

"Okay. We'll make another baby, but you have to promise me that you'll help with the diapers and everything and you won't forget birthdays or anything." I said. He nodded.

"I promise." He said. I nodded and smiled.

"Okay. Let's make another baby." I said. Shawn kissed me and we made love.

Nine months later

"Shawn! My water broke!" I yelled. The kids were at their Meimei's house and Shawn helped me out to the car. We got to the hospital and a few hours later, Logan Joseph Mendes, our last little one, was born.

"He's so beautiful." Shawn said as I held him for the first time. I nodded.

"He really is. He looks just like his handsome Daddy." I said as I looked up at Shawn. Shawn smiled at me and kissed my head.

"You did such a great job babe. I'm so proud of you." He said. I smiled.

"Thank you." I said. Shawn kept his promise and when we got home, he helped with the diapers and everything. I'm not happy that Shawn and I got a divorce, but I'm so beyond happy that we got back together and had another baby. I love Shawn and I always will.