I've been married to the singer and songwriter Shawn Mendes for a little over twenty years now. We have three beautiful kids together: Rose Lucille Mendes, who's nineteen, Jacob Alexander Scott Mendes, who's seventeen, and Sarah Grace Mendes, who's fifteen. For many, many years, actually since quite a few years before I met Shawn, I would journal all the time. There was a period of time where I stopped journaling for some reason, but after I met Shawn, I went home and wrote about it in my journal and then continued to journal after that.

When Shawn and I were engaged, I was on tour with him for a little bit during the summer. I would go into his question and answer sessions with him, and a fan once asked if either of us would ever write a book.

"Would either, or both of you, ever write a book about your lives?" A fan asked.

"Well she's an amazing writer. I've read some of Y/n's essays for school, and even her Instagram captions are beautifully worded. I hope that she doesn't mind me saying this, but she's written poetry before and it's beautiful, so I think that someday Y/n should write a book." Shawn said as he pointed at me. I blushed and smiled.

"Thank you honey. I wouldn't mind writing a book, but I feel like I would have to put something in the beginning that would say something like 'If you want to skip to the part where Shawn comes in, go to page, whatever.'" I said. Shawn pulled me closer to him.

"No don't do that babe. You've had a very interesting life, if you were to write a book, don't put that. Let the fans read about your life." Shawn said. I smiled at him.

"Thank you honey. So would you ever write a book?" I asked him.

"I think that maybe, sometime down the road I would. Honestly honey, if I wrote a book, I would have you look at it first." He said.

"Why?" I asked. He chuckled.

"My love, you were literally an English tutor at your school, so you would be good at corrections and editing." Shawn said. I smiled and nodded.

"Well thank you honey. I would feel honored to edit your book." I said, causing Shawn to smile.

I still have all of my old journals in a box. They're in the attic of mine and Shawn's house. I suddenly decided that maybe it really would be cool to write a book about my life. I went downstairs to where Shawn was sitting on the couch. He smiled when he saw me and I sat next to him. He opened his arms up and then wrapped them around me when I leaned on him and put my head on his chest. He kissed the top of my head.

"Hey there wifey." He said. I looked up at him and smiled.

"Hey there hubby. Um, do you remember when we were engaged and I was on tour with you and a fan asked if we would ever write a book about our lives?" I asked, feeling slightly nervous. Shawn's opinion means more to mean than anyone else's opinion, so if he doesn't think that I should write a book, then I most likely won't write a book. He thought for a moment and then nodded.

"Yeah." He said.

"Well, I was thinking, and what do you think about me writing a book? I mean, I have all of my old journals, so I could look back on those to remember things that happened." I asked and said. Shawn didn't even hesitate. He instantly smiled and nodded.

"That would be amazing honey. You're a wonderful writer and I think that it would be great." Shawn said. I smiled and felt my nerves float away.

"Okay. When and where should I start? How would I even get my book published?" I asked as I sat up.

"I don't know darling, but you can do research on it - I'll help if you want. Wait, didn't one of your dad's friends publish a book?" Shawn said and asked. I nodded.

"Yeah. Kenny published a few books actually." I said. Shawn nodded.

"Maybe you can talk to him." Shawn said. I nodded hesitantly. "Why do you seem hesitant about talking to him? It's just Kenny babe, you've known him forever."

"Well, I don't mean to sound full of myself, but Shawn, I'm your wife. If Shawn Mendes's wife publishes a book, it's going to be bigger than Kenny's. I love Kenny, he's great, but would you have heard of his books if I hadn't mentioned them to you?" I said and asked.

"Okay, good point. Yeah, let's do some research babe." Shawn said and I nodded. We soon got to work on the research. I met with an agent from a publishing house that said that they would love to publish my book. I hadn't even written a single word yet, but they knew that my book would be a big thing.

"We'll give you a deadline, which we can extend if you need it. You'll obviously be able to help choose the layout of the book. Are you going to want a section for pictures in the middle of the book or do you want the pictures to be sporadic throughout the book and with the words? If you have the pictures go with the words, then you can put more photos in." The agent, Julie, asked and said. I had read enough books to know what she meant. I thought for a moment.

"I'll put the pictures with the words." I said. She nodded and made a note of it. She then looked back up at Shawn and I.

"You look like a very proud husband right now." She said and when I looked over at him, he had a huge smile on his face.

"Well considering that my wife is going to write a book, yeah I'm extremely proud." He said and I smiled. Later on, Shawn and I were cuddling on the couch while the kids were at school as we talked about my book. Shawn kept smiling at me.

"What?" I asked.

"I'm just really freaking proud of you. You'll be able to dedicate the book to someone, right?" He asked. I nodded.

"Yeah." I said.

"Do you know who you're going to dedicate it to?" He asked. I thought for a moment before shaking my head.

"No. I mean, there's so many people that I could dedicate it to. I'll figure it out though. I feel like I want to get going on the book right now honestly." I said with a giggle. Shawn smiled and nodded.

"Do you want to use my office?" He asked.

"Really?" I asked. He nodded.

"Yup. Go ahead darling. Go get to writing your book!" Shawn said and I laughed as I stood up.

"I might need your help with picking out pictures and remembering things if that's okay?" I asked. He nodded.

"Of course it's okay honey." He said.

"I need to get into the attic so I can get my old journals." I said. He nodded and stood up.

"I don't want you going up there. It's too dusty and musty and I don't want you inhaling that stuff. I'll grab them, I know where they are. You just head to my office, okay?" He asked. I nodded.

"Okay. Thank you for this Shawn." I said. He smiled at me and just the sight of his smile alone gave me butterflies. He kissed my cheek.

"Anything for you Mrs. Mendes." Shawn said and I smiled. I leaned in and put my lips on his. I felt my heart race as if I had just run a marathon, I felt butterflies erupt and fly around in my tummy, and I felt sparks shoot through my body. We pulled away and smiled at each other. I put my hand to his cheek.

"My love." I said. His smile widened and then we went upstairs. I went into his office and got out my laptop, and he went up into the attic. He soon came back down with my journals.

"Here you go darling." Shawn said.

"Thanks baby." I said. He kissed my cheek.

"You're welcome. Need me to do anything?" He asked. I thought for a moment.

"No, I think that I'm good. Do you want to sit with me?" I asked. He smiled and nodded. He then sat down in the chair that's next to his desk - the one that I usually sit in - as I sat in the chair at his desk - the one that he usually sits in - and I couldn't help but laugh.

"What?" He asked.

"Usually I'm sitting there, and you're sitting here." I said. He laughed and nodded.

"That's true." He said.

"Oh, you don't have to sit in here if you don't want to." I said. He frowned.

"Are you kidding? Of course I have to. I want to watch my amazing wife start writing her book." He asked and said. I smiled.

"I love you." I said.

"I love you too." He said. I sighed as I looked at the blank document.

"What should the title be?" I asked. He thought for a moment.

"I don't know. How about something like 'My Life: Before And After Marriage'?" Shawn asked. My eyes widened.

"YES!" I said as I pointed my index finger at him and Shawn chuckled at my enthusiasm. I then began to write, and Shawn stayed with me until the kids got home from school. Well, Jake and Sarah got home, but Rose is away at college.

"I'll make dinner." Shawn said.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yeah. You're doing great baby. Keep going. I'll let you know when dinner is ready." Shawn said. I nodded and thanked him. He shut the door as he left the room. I then went back to one of my first pages and wrote what I was pretty sure I wanted the dedication to be, but I wasn't one hundred percent sure. What I was one hundred percent sure about was that I wanted it to be a surprise for Shawn.

"This book is dedicated to my three kids, Rose, Jake, and Sarah, also known as my pride and joys. This book is also dedicated to my amazing husband, Shawn Mendes. Without Shawn and his love, support, help, and encouragement, this book wouldn't be possible." I wrote and smiled. Now I just have to make sure that Shawn doesn't see that. I went to a different page that I was working on - I would figure out pictures and where they went later - and then there was a knock at the door and Shawn came in.

"My love, dinner is ready." He said. I smiled at him.

"Okay." I said. I got up and Shawn and I went downstairs together. The kids knew that I was thinking about writing a book, but they obviously hadn't heard about what had happened today.

"Did you meet with the book publishing people yet Mom?" Jake asked. Shawn and I smiled at each other.

"Yup. I hadn't even written a single word yet and the publishing agent already said yes. But you guys can't tell anyone that yet." I said. They cheered and said that they wouldn't tell anyone. We called Rose after dinner and told her.

"I'm so proud of you Mom!" She said and I thanked her.

"I'm going to go work on the book." I said as soon as Shawn and I got off the phone with Rose.

"Babe, it's getting late." He said.

"It's fine. It's the weekend." I said. He sighed and nodded. I kissed his cheek.

"Just don't overwork yourself please." He said. I nodded.

"I won't." I said, and then went in his office and shut the door. I've been known to overwork myself at times, leading to exhaustion, so I understood Shawn's concern, but I was determined. I worked on the book for a while before there was a knock at the door and Shawn came in.

"Honey, it's eleven o'clock at night and I'm going to bed. Why don't you come to bed with me?" He asked. I didn't look away from the screen.

"I'll be there in a little bit." I said. I heard his footsteps come closer but I still didn't look away from the screen even though it felt like my eyes were burning. He then wrapped his arms around me and he kissed the top of my head.

"Mrs. Mendes, I know you, and I know that you're determined and I know that you're a hard worker, but I need you to take care of yourself. Please come to bed with me." He said.

"Shawn, how many times have you been working on lyrics until past two in the morning and I try to get you to go to bed but you don't." I said as I looked at him. He sat down and sighed.

"Okay, now I finally understand how you feel when I do that. I'll just stay up with you if that's okay?" He asked. I smiled and nodded.

"That's fine baby. I love you." I said. He smiled at me.

"I love you too." He said.

"I feel like for certain things I should change people's names." I said. Shawn tilted his head.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Like, I feel like I should talk about certain people that were in my life at some point, but I shouldn't say their actual names to protect them or something." I said. Shawn nodded.

"Can I ask you a question?" He asked. I nodded.

"Yeah." I said.

"Are you going to mention Mike?" Shawn asked, mentioning my ex. I thought for a moment before nodding.

"Yes, but partially because he was my first boyfriend, and partially because of the way that he treated me, and I want young girls to know that if a boy treats you like that, it's not okay." I said. Shawn nodded.

"Like send a message to young girls?" He asked. I nodded.

"Yeah. I mean, you know how he treated me, and it wasn't okay." I said. Shawn nodded.

"You're right. I like that idea of sending a message to girls, or anyone actually, who could be in a position like that. I'm proud of you honey." Shawn said. I smiled.

"Thank you baby." I said. I then began to turn back to my laptop.

"So what would you change his name to?" Shawn asked. I thought for a moment.

"Jerk face? Perverted guy?" I asked, throwing out ideas. Shawn laughed.

"I like jerk face. And you can mention that time that he showed up at one of my q and a sessions while we were engaged." Shawn said. I nodded. It took a good amount of time, but after a bit, the writing for my story was done. I had asked my publishing agent to not mention to Shawn the fact that I would partially be dedicating the book to him and she said okay, she wouldn't tell a single soul.

"Shawn?" I asked. He looked up at me from where he was in his office, going over lyrics.

"Yes darling?" He asked.

"I need to figure out what pictures should go in and where. Would you mind helping me when you get a chance please?" I asked. Shawn smiled as he put his pencil down and stood up.

"Sure." He said.

"You don't have to help me with it right now. Aren't you working on lyrics?" I asked. He nodded.

"Yes but my wife is writing a book so I want to help her." He said and I smiled. We got out some photo albums and things like that and put them on the floor in the family room. I looked at all of the photos in front of us and instantly felt overwhelmed.

"Shawn." I whimpered. He looked over at me with concern in his eyes.

"What's wrong darling?" He asked.

"You know how I get overwhelmed easily?" I asked. He nodded and instantly understood what was going on.

"Yup. Okay, how about this: what are your top three to five photos that we need to find and have in the book?" Shawn asked. He knows that when I get overwhelmed, I need to break things down into little bits and pieces.

"Well definitely our first picture together. A picture from our wedding, and maybe the other three can be our first picture with each of the kids after they were born." I said. He nodded.

"Okay. I know that you write about what life was like before you met me too, so we should probably talk to your mom and maybe we can have pictures from when you were growing up too." He said. I nodded.

"Okay. For right now, can we just focus on getting the ones that I mentioned and then go from there please?" I asked. He nodded and I let out a sigh of relief.

"Of course we can darling. Okay so we already have our first picture together, now let's pick a picture from our wedding." Shawn said and I nodded.

"Okay. Thank you so much for this Shawn. I really appreciate it." I said. Shawn kissed my cheek.

"Well of course my love. I'd do anything for you, you know that." He said. I nodded. We opened up our photo album from our wedding and I moved so I was sitting on his lap as we looked at it.

"I love either a picture from our first dance, or from the ceremony. Actually no, I like the one from our first dance. Ugh, I don't know. What do you think?" I asked Shawn.

"I love both obviously. Which one are you leaning towards more?" Shawn asked. I looked at the photos.

"The one where you're dipping me during our first dance." I said. Shawn nodded.

"Okay, then let's go with that one. Now, let's find pictures from when the kids were born." Shawn said. I nodded and we looked at those photos.

"What about this one? It was our first photo as a family." I asked and said as I held up a photo that my father in law, Manny Mendes, had taken after Rose was born. In the picture, my head was resting on Shawn's shoulder as him and I smiled at Rose, our first born. The photo had been taken less than an hour after she had been born. Shawn smiled and nodded. We soon picked out some more photos that we wanted, including a picture of Shawn down on one knee from when he proposed, and decided to call it a day.

"I think that we did a good job picking out the photos. I'm proud of us." Shawn said. I nodded.

"Yup. I'm proud of us too. Thank you so much for your help Shawn." I said. He kissed my cheek.

"You're welcome Y/n." He said. When I saw my publisher again, we decided that the cover of the book would be all white with the title and my name in black. For the back of the book, rather than having a description of what the book is about - the title was self-explanatory - I chose a picture of Shawn and I with the kids when they were little.

The day finally came for my book to be printed. It had already been announced by Shawn and I over social media that I was going to be publishing a book, and his fans seemed to be very happy. Shawn still had no clue that I had partially dedicated the book to him. He thought that I would just be dedicating it to the kids.

"Here's the first copy of your book. Congratulations." My agent said. I smiled and happy tears formed in my eyes as I held the hardcover book. I looked at Shawn, who was looking at me with such pride in his eyes. I then looked at my agent.

"Thank you so much." I said. She nodded and then looked at Shawn.

"Would you like your own copy of your wife's book?" She asked. He nodded as he had a huge smile on his face.

"Yes please." He said. She handed him a copy.

"Here you go." Julie said. He looked at it and then looked at me.

"Mrs. Mendes, would you mind signing my book please?" He asked. I giggled and nodded as I took the book from him. Julie handed me a pen. I held the book away from Shawn so he couldn't see what I was writing. I wasn't sure if I should sign the dedication page or the title page, so I thought for a moment.

"Ugh, I don't know what to write in it." I said. Shawn chuckled.

"Just write your name babe." He said.

"Are you kidding? You're my husband of a little over twenty years, I have to give you more than just my name." I asked and said. Shawn laughed.

"Okay darling." He said. I went to the dedication page and wrote on it.

"To the love of my life: this book couldn't have happened without you. I love you more than words will ever be able to describe. With all of the love in the world, your wife, Y/n Mendes." I wrote. I then handed it back to him and when he was opening it up to each page to look at it and see where I signed, I got my phone out and began recording. He smiled. I could tell that he got to the dedication page when his eyes widened and I saw tears form. He looked at me.

"You dedicated the book to me too?" He asked. I nodded.

"Of course I did. You helped so much and this book wouldn't be possible without you." I said. Shawn smiled at me and pulled me in for a hug. I heard him sniffle.

"Thank you so much honey. I love you so damn much and I'm so proud of you that I can't even put it into words." Shawn said. I kissed the side of his head.

"I love you too and thank you for being proud of me." I said. I then stopped recording.

"You're welcome honey." Shawn said. Later on, with Shawn's permission, I posted the video that I had taken of him finding out that I had dedicated the book to him too.

"Here's the moment that my amazing husband found out that I had dedicated my book not only to our kids, but to him too. He thought that I was just going to dedicate it to the kids! Shawn, I can't thank you enough for your support and love. I love you so much honey." I wrote. Shawn smiled when he saw the caption.

"I'm still in shock about you dedicating it to me." Shawn said. I smiled.

"Did you really think that I wasn't going to dedicate it to you too?" I asked as I put my head on his chest.

"Well, I hoped that you would, but then you told me that you were going to dedicate it to the kids and I was obviously very happy about that." He said. I nodded.

"Can I ask you a question?" I asked as I looked up at him. He nodded.

"Of course. What's up my love?" He asked.

"I know that you don't really like to read, but do you think that you'll read my book?" I asked. His eyes widened.

"Of course I will! Even though I already know your life story, I still want to read your book. You're my wife and I'm so proud of you. You amaze me every single day Y/n Mendes." Shawn said and I smiled.

"Well you amaze me every single day too." I said and he smiled at me and kissed my forehead. The spot that he kissed was left feeling tingly even after his lips were no longer there.

"You know what I'm going to do right now babe?" Shawn asked.

"What are you going to do?" I asked.

"I'm going to open your book up right now and read it." Shawn said. I smiled.

"I love you." I said.

"I love you too honey." He said.

"Can I lean on you as you read it? I want to cuddle." I asked and said. Shawn nodded.

"Of course. Come here love." He said and opened up his arms after he opened up the book to the first page.

"Thank you." I said. He kissed the top of my head.

"You're welcome." He said. We stayed like that for a while - both Jake and Sarah were at friend's houses and Rose was still away at college - and I ended up falling asleep. I then felt someone lightly shaking me and looked up at Shawn.

"Huh?" I asked. Shawn was smiling at me.

"I don't remember you ever telling me about this part." Shawn said.

"Which part?" I asked. He pointed.

"This one." He said. I smiled when I looked at what he was pointing at.

"Oh yeah. Gosh that's a throwback." I said. Shawn smiled at me.

"Darling?" He asked.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Will you read that part to me? I want to hear you read it." Shawn asked and said. I smiled and nodded and then began to read the part that he had pointed out.

"I sat in my world history class freshman year of high school, waiting for class to start. My friend Lexie, who I had known for a year or two, sat behind me, and I turned around when I felt her tap me on the shoulder. She had her phone out.

'Have you ever heard of vine?' She asked with wide eyes and a big smile on her face. I nodded.

'Yeah.' I said.

'Have you ever heard of MAGCON?' She asked. I shook my head.

'No. What's MAGCON?' I asked. She then went on to explain that it stood for Meet And Greet Conventions. Some viners were in MAGCON and Lexie showed me pictures of those viners.

'So this is Nash Grier, this is Cameron Dallas, this is Shawn Mendes, he has a really good voice.' Lexie said before going on to explain who else was in MAGCON. I went home and looked at their vines, and the next day when I saw Lexie in class, I was smiling.

'Oh my gosh, out of all of the MAGCON boys, Shawn's the cutest.' I said. She nodded.

'He's so cute!' She said.

'I want to marry him someday.' I said half-jokingly. If someone had come up to me at that moment and told me that five years after I said that, I would meet Shawn, and that five years after meeting him, I really would be married to Shawn and eventually have three kids with him, I would have laughed in disbelief and told them that they were crazy. I continued to watch all of their vines for a bit, but eventually strayed away from them - even Shawn." I read. Shawn smiled.

"So you wanted to marry me even then?" Shawn asked. I blushed and nodded.

"Yup. It's always been you Shawn. I may have strayed away from you for a few years, but still, it was always you. It still is you." I said and Shawn kissed my cheek.

"Well it's always been you too babe. I'm going to keep reading." Shawn said. I smiled and nodded.

"Okay. Shawn?" I asked.

"Yes gorgeous?" He asked and I blushed.

"Are you proud of me? Like, for writing my own book and getting it published?" I asked. Shawn nodded.

"Of course I am. I can't even put it into words how proud of you I am. Are you proud of yourself?" Shawn asked. I nodded.

"Yeah." I said. He smiled.

"Good. Baby girl, I know that you like it when I'm proud of you, but I want you to be proud of yourself too, okay?" He asked. I nodded.

"Okay." I said. I then leaned on him again as he continued to read. I had signed the copies that I was given for each of the kids and made a special note to each of them. The following summer, I did my own book tour and was even asked to be on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. I love Shawn so much, and I'm proud of myself for writing my own book and getting it published.

The wedding picture that was used in the book