A/n: Explicit language in this imagine! Anyways, please enjoy this imagine. Also, this imagine references an earlier imagine in this book that has two parts, both of them are called Amnesia. Okay, without further ado, let's begin! 

I woke up in the morning and instantly felt sad. In ten days, it will mark one year since I've married the singer and songwriter, Shawn Mendes, and this month I've been all by myself in the house. Almost every morning I wake up without Shawn, and instead of him next to me, I always find a note, just like I did this morning.

"Good morning my love. I'll be with Josiah and Andrew again today. I'm not sure when I'll be home. I love you darling! Love, Shawn." He had written. He had forgotten what today was, hadn't he? He must have, because if he had remembered, then he would've stayed home. I got out of bed and walked over to mine and Shawn's dresser and looked at the pictures on it. I brought my fingers to my lips and kissed my fingers before putting my fingers to the picture.

"I miss you Uncle Scottie." I whispered to the picture of my uncle holding me as a baby. Fifteen years ago today, my Uncle Scottie died. I got dressed, went downstairs, and made myself some breakfast. I sat there, feeling alone as I ate. Why had he been spending so much time - literally hours upon hours everyday - with Josiah and Andrew? I usually wouldn't have minded, but today I really needed Shawn. I finished eating, washed my plate, and then went upstairs to brush my teeth. I then heard the doorbell go off. I went downstairs and when I opened the door, two of my friends, Liz and Kristen were there. I weakly smiled and let them in.

"Where's Shawn?" Liz asked as she sat down.

"With Josiah and Andrew - again." I said.

"Why has he been spending so much time with them lately?" Kristen asked. I shrugged and then got an idea.

"I don't know. Do you guys know what today is?" I asked. They nodded.

"The anniversary of Uncle Scottie's death." Liz said and I nodded.

"Yup. I need to make a phone call." I said and left the room. I soon walked back into the room with a different outfit on: leggings, a white t-shirt, and black riding boots.

"Why do you look like you're about to get on a horse?" Liz asked with wide eyes.

"Let's go for a drive." I said.

"Y/n, the last time that you got on a horse, the horse bucked you off, you were in a coma for three weeks, and then you woke up with amnesia." Kristen said.

"Well I'm going riding. Are you guys coming or not?" I asked. They sighed and nodded and we all got in the car to head to the local stables. Alyssa, who had helped me last time, was already outside with a Hanoverian horse. I stepped out of the car and she smiled at me.

"Hi Y/n. I just want to ask, do you remember what happened last time you got on a horse? This isn't the same horse by the way." Alyssa said. I nodded.

"It's fine. When I was younger and I would ride, it would get my mind off of things. It's the fifteen year anniversary of my uncle's death and my husband, who's usually there for me, completely forgot and went to hang out with his friends instead. He's been spending every single day with Josiah and Andrew, and I'm left alone in the house without my husband. I need to ride and get my mind off of things." I said. She nodded.

"Okay. Hop on whenever you're ready. The horse, Gilly, is a good jumper." Alyssa said and I nodded. I then got on the horse and rode over to where I was supposed to be. I looked over at Liz and Kristen. They looked concerned, but I needed to do this. I needed to prove to myself that I could ride again, and I needed to get my mind off of things. They gave me little smiles and waves, and I faked a smile back. I then got Gilly moving.

I felt free as I rode him around the ring a few times. I wanted to warm him up before I got him jumping. I focused on the feeling of me riding the horse and ignored Liz and Kristen's worried looks. I then circled Gilly around and let him jump over an obstacle. I smiled for the first time that day as I had him jump again. I continued to ride him for I don't even know how long before going over to where Alyssa, Liz, and Kristen were.

"How do I look?" I asked.

"Good. I called Shawn and he's on his way." Liz said. My smile fell.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because he was there last time you rode a horse and he's worried about it happening again. I reminded him of today's date and he felt really, really bad. He's worried about you." Liz said.

"Well he can screw off." I said.

"Y/n he just forgot. People forget sometimes." Kristen said. I felt irritation boil up inside of me.

"You don't understand." I said, and then began riding again. I didn't feel like explaining it to anyone. I felt upset and hurt. Plus, riding a horse gave me a feeling that I couldn't quite explain. It was like being high or something. Now, as much as I tried to focus on me riding the horse, my mind wandered to Uncle Scottie and Shawn. They never met obviously. Uncle Scottie never saw me ride.

Uncle Scottie never saw me ride.

I slowed Gilly down to a halt, bowed my head down, and began to cry. When I looked up, Shawn's jeep was pulling up to the stable. I got off of Gilly and walked him over to Alyssa and handed the reins to her.

"Are you all set for the day?" Alyssa asked. I nodded.

"Yes. Thank you for this." I said and when Shawn stepped out of his jeep with a concerned look on his face, more tears fell I took my helmet off and handed it to Alyssa.

"Babe, why the hell did you get back on a horse? Don't you remember what happened last time?" Shawn asked.

"Don't you remember what today is?" I practically screamed as Alyssa walked Gilly back to the stables.

"Honey I'm -" Shawn started.

"No. Don't you fucking dare call me honey when you have been leaving me alone in the house all day everyday. There was one day that I asked you if I could come along and you said no and wouldn't tell me why. You better have a damn good reason for this Shawn. Remember where we went on our second date?" I asked, still yelling a bit. Shawn nodded.

"The bench in memory of Uncle Scottie." Shawn said.

"Yes, and at that time it had been ten years since he had passed away, and you were the first person that wasn't a family member that I took there. That's where we had our first kiss. I opened up to you on the second day of knowing you while we were there for fuck's sake Shawn! How the hell could you forget?" I yelled. He threw his arms up.

"I don't know Y/n! I don't know! I didn't mean to! I've been working on something, that's why I haven't been at home lately." He yelled back.

"Why can't you tell me what you've been working on?" I asked, but I wasn't yelling this time. He sighed.

"It's supposed to be a surprise for you. I'm sorry that I've been away from you, but I want this to be perfect. Y/n, when Liz called me and told me that she was watching you ride..." Shawn started before tears started to fall from his eyes. He looked down and then looked back at me. "I got so fucking scared. The last time that you rode a horse, the horse bucked you off and you were in a coma and then when you woke up you didn't know who I was. Please Y/n, it scared the fuck out of me when Liz said that." Shawn said. I felt bad.

"Shawn, remember when you fell on stage? I know that it happened on more than one occasion but still, do you remember it?" I asked. He nodded.

"Yeah." He said.

"But getting on stage, it gets your mind off of things right?" I asked. He nodded.

"Yeah." He said as his tears still fell slowly.

"And for you, being on stage is like a high, right?" I asked. He nodded.

"Yeah. It is." He said.

"That's what it's like for me when I ride. It gets my mind off of things, or at least most of the time it does. And it's like a high. And sometimes I'm literally high because I'm in the air going over a jump." I explained. He put his hands on my cheeks. My tears had stopped by now.

"My love, you're my wife, and it just about killed me when you fell off last time and got amnesia and everything. Honey, you didn't know - you didn't know who I was. You're my wife, and I need to make sure that my wife is safe. Please honey, I can't see you go through that again." Shawn pleaded as more tears fell from his cheeks again. I hugged him.

"Okay. Okay. I won't ride again." I said. He backed away and kept his hands on my cheeks.

"Promise me. Promise me that you won't get on a horse again. Promise me that please." Shawn pleaded. I nodded. I had known that me having amnesia and everything had taken a toll on him, but I guess that I never realized how much of a toll it had taken on him.

"Okay. I promise you that I won't ride ever again. Let's go home." I said and he nodded before pulling me in for a hug.

"I love you and I'm sorry that I forgot and I'm sorry that I've been leaving you alone. I just want this surprise to be perfect for you." Shawn said and I nodded.

"Shawn?" I asked.

"Yes my love?" He asked before kissing the top of my head and I looked up at him.

"Uncle Scottie never saw me ride." I said.

"Oh honey. He would have been so proud of you. He loved you. I know that I never met him but I've heard stories, and he loved you so much." Shawn said. I nodded.

"Let's go home." I said. He nodded. Liz and Kristen road with me and Shawn drove his jeep back to our house. I thanked Liz for calling Shawn.

"You're welcome. We'll leave you too alone when we get back to your house." Liz said and I nodded.

"Okay." I said, and we soon arrived at mine and Shawn's house. Shawn and I said goodbye to them and then went inside. As soon as we shut the door behind us, he pulled me in for a hug.

"I love you. Please never forget that." Shawn said. I looked at him.

"I love you too, and I definitely won't forget it since you say it to me all of the time. I love it when you tell me you love me." I said with a giggle and Shawn smiled.

"Why don't you go get changed and then we can cuddle or nap or do whatever you want, okay?" Shawn asked. I nodded.

"Okay." I said and went upstairs. I changed into shorts and a different, less sweaty t-shirt and went back downstairs.

"Do you want to put your head in my lap darling?" Shawn asked and I nodded.

"Yeah." I said.

"Come here baby." He said. I laid down on the couch and put my head in his lap. He instantly ran his fingers through my hair, soothing me.

"Shawny?" I asked.

"Hmmm?" He responded.

"I'm sorry that I got back on a horse. I know that I said that I wouldn't, but like I said at the stables, it's like being high or something. I didn't realize how much of a toll the last horseback riding incident had on you." I said as I looked up at him. I felt his wedding ring rub against my forehead and smiled a little.

"It's okay darling. As long as you're safe, I'm happy." Shawn said. I nodded.

"Can I get any hints at what this surprise is?" I asked. Shawn chuckled and shook his head.

"Nope. You'll have to wait." He said.

"How long do I have to wait?" I asked.

"I'm not going to tell you babe. It's a secret." Shawn said and I groaned, causing him to laugh.

Ten days later, I woke up in Shawn's arms, and he was already smiling at me.

"Happy one year anniversary my love." Shawn said.

"Happy one year anniversary baby." I said and we kissed. I felt butterflies erupt and fly around in my tummy, I felt my heart race as if I had just run a marathon, and I felt sparks shoot through my body like fireworks. Shawn soon pulled away.

"Remember how I had that surprise that I was working on for you and I was with Josiah and Andrew basically everyday?" Shawn asked. I nodded.

"Yeah." I said.

"Would you like to find out why?" He asked. I sat up and got out of bed.

"Yes!" I said and Shawn chuckled. He interlaced his fingers with mine, and when our skin touched, I felt electricity spark through me, yet I felt safe and warm at the same time. Shawn had me sit on the couch in front of the tv downstairs. We have a Roku, so we're able to put videos from YouTube onto our television. Shawn looked at me.

"Your surprise, which is what I've been working on and it's also one of your anniversary presents is on YouTube. So, yes, everyone can see it, but I still hope that you like it. Close your eyes for a second babe." Shawn said and I did as told. He then told me to open my eyes and I saw that he had put a video on, and he was in the video.

"What is this?" I asked. Shawn kissed my temple as we watched the video.

"Hi everyone. So, I've been working on this as a surprise for my wife, Y/n Mendes, for our one year wedding anniversary. She knows that I've been spending time with Josiah and Andrew lately, but I never told her why. Well Y/n, my darling, this is why. I've put these videos and pictures together and picked the music. Happy anniversary to the love of my life. I hope that you like this." Shawn said. A video that I remember Josiah started playing. It was Shawn and I dancing to Shape of You by Ed Sheeran in a bit of a sexy way in our kitchen. (A/n: Similar video at the top!) I smiled and clapped my hands together.

"I remember this!" I said. Shawn chuckled. I was slightly surprised that he had put this video in for everyone to see considering the fact that I was grinding on his leg a little. When the part where Ed sings "Come on be my baby" started playing, it showed Shawn walk backwards as he smirked at me and waved his hands towards himself as he walked into another room and I followed him while laughing. I smiled even more when I watched as Shawn picked me up and my legs wrapped around his waist in the video before he put me down and we danced in a sexy way some more until the song ended.

"Who said that I don't have rhythm?" Shawn teased as he sat next to me. I laughed. Once the music ended, it showed a black screen with a the date that we got engaged on it. It then showed Shawn and I could hear Josiah talking.

"So Shawn, what's going to happen when you get home?" Josiah asked.

"Well, I'm going to give my girlfriend Y/n a hug and kiss, and then I'm going to grab the ring and we're going to head to the sheep pasture nearby and I'm going to propose to her." Shawn said as he looked out the window.

"Are you nervous?" Josiah asked. Shawn looked at Josiah with a smile.

"No. She promised me that when I propose to her she'll say yes. Well, maybe I'm a little nervous, but not a lot." Shawn said. Thinking Out Loud started to play as it showed me jumping into Shawn's arms when he got home. It then showed us at the sheep pasture, and as I watched the video, I leaned my head on Shawn's shoulder. I looked at the pictures of me smiling at Shawn has he walked over to me.

"I remember thinking that something wonderful was about to happen, and then you got down on one knee, so I was very happy." I said as I looked at the picture of Shawn down on one knee, then of him putting the ring on me, and then of us kissing. I smiled even more when it showed clips from our wedding day and happy tears fell from my eyes. It showed Shawn crying a bit as I walked down the aisle, and then I heard the officiator speak.

"Shawn, do you take Y/n to be your wedded wife, to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to her, for as long as you both shall live?" He asked.

"I do." Shawn said with a smile. I then heard myself say I do after the officiator asked me the same thing. It then showed our reception and I heard the DJ.

"Introducing, for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Shawn Mendes!" He said, and we walked into our reception. It then showed us having our first dance and you could see Ed Sheeran on stage in the back of the clip.

"This is the most beautiful wedding, with the most beautiful people, that I've ever been to." Jimmy Fallon said and I smiled.

"Jimmy!" I said and Shawn laughed. The next video that it showed, as Thinking Out Loud continued to play, was Shawn and I feeding each other our wedding cake. I smiled and laughed as I wiped away a few tears. It then showed Shawn and I sitting at our table smiling as we spoke to each other. I watched as Shawn tucked some of my hair behind my ear. More clips showed us dancing some more at our wedding.

"I love Shawn and Y/n so much and their love for each other is so beautiful. I'm really happy to be their friend and be with them today." Camila Cabello said. I smiled and the song ended with Shawn and I waving to everyone as we got in the car that would take us home so we could get changed, and then to the airport so we could go be on our honeymoon.

"That was so beautiful." I said.

"It's not over yet." Shawn said and I smiled when Dan + Shay's song, Speechless, started playing as the video showed pictures and videos of us from our honeymoon and ever since we got married.

"Shawn where are we going?" I asked in the video. I had been filming him on the plane. He smiled at me in the video.

"Honolulu for a week, then Ireland for a week, then Lithuania for a week, and then we'll be in Australia for a week. I love you Mrs. Mendes." Shawn said.

"I love you too Mr. Mendes." I heard myself say. I then smiled at pictures of us from our trip to Honolulu. It showed our feet when we had been relaxing on the hammock. I then watched as the video showed clips and pictures from the rest of our honeymoon. Then, it showed us at home.

"Guys this is my wife." Shawn said and it was a recording of one of his live streams. There was another clip where it showed us with our arms around each other as we stood on our back deck and I rubbed his back a little and he kissed the side of my head as he rubbed my shoulder.

"Who took that clip?" I asked.

"Andrew." Shawn said. I nodded.

"Oh, okay." I said as I continued to watch the video. It showed Shawn and I being goofballs, per usual, and they had put together a bunch of clips of Shawn proudly introducing me as his wife. I still had happy tears running down my face as I smiled. As the song came to an end, it showed pictures of Shawn and I cuddling on the couch, going out to dinner, just tons of photos of us. At the end of the song, Shawn popped up on the screen again.

"Y/n, I know that when you watch this video for the first time I'll be sitting next to you and probably wiping your happy tears away. Darling, I love you more than words will ever be able to describe and that's never going to change. Being your husband is the greatest honor, the greatest award that I've ever received. You make me the happiest man alive, and I am completely and utterly myself when I'm with you. You're my best friend and I would do anything and go anywhere for you or with you. I love you Mrs. Mendes, now go give me cuddles and kisses like I know you want to!" Shawn said, and the video ended. I turned to him as happy tears streamed down my face.

"That was so beautiful. I loved it. Oh my gosh. You're the most amazing man ever, did you know that?" I asked. Shawn kissed where my tears were.

"Well you're the most amazing woman ever. Did you know that?" He asked. I giggled and shook my head before kissing him. We kissed for a little bit before pulling away.

"That was beautiful Shawn. Thank you so much for that." I said. He smiled.

"You're welcome darling. Now do you understand why I was with Josiah and Andrew so much? It took some time to pick out the right pictures and videos for this and I had to pick out the right music too." Shawn asked and said. I nodded and we cuddled. I love Shawn so much.