Lately I've been feeling really insecure about my looks. My boyfriend of four years, Shawn Mendes, says that he thinks that I'm beautiful but I don't believe it. I have stretch marks on my arms, I have stretch marks on my boobs, and I have stretch marks on my stomach. I feel like I have a fat stomach and big arms. I hate the way that I look. Shawn has no clue that I'm feeling this way, and I don't plan on telling him. He'll just get upset. Not in a mad way, just in a sad way. I know that he doesn't want me to feel this way but I can't help it. Shawn will be home from a meeting soon and, like I said, I don't plan on telling him about how I feel. He soon walked in the door.

"Hello my love. How was your day?" He asked as he smiled at me.

"It was good. I went shopping and now I'm tired." I said with a laugh. Shawn laughed too.

"Well, I'm tired too, so why don't we take a nap together? That sound good?" Shawn asked. I nodded.

"That sounds perfect." I said. Shawn led me up the stairs and into our bedroom and we laid down in bed. He wrapped his arms around me so his arms were on my stomach. I don't like that, but if I move his hands, then he'll know how I'm feeling, which I don't want. I decided to leave it, even though it bothered me.

I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep, but I couldn't. Thoughts about how I looked swarmed around in my brain. I soon felt tears come up, and I practically ran to the bathroom. I shut the door and cried silently, or at least as quietly as I could, but apparently that wasn't good enough. I heard feet quickly pad across the floor and then there was a knock on the door.

"Baby? Are you okay?" Shawn asked. I didn't know what to say, so I just didn't answer. When I didn't answer, Shawn walked in. "What's wrong love?" Shawn asked. I shook my head.

"I don't want to talk about it." I said.

"But baby girl I need to know what's wrong or else I can't help you." He said.

"No Shawn, please just leave me alone." I said. He hesitated, then shook his head.

"I'm sorry hun, but I can't just leave this alone. I need to know what's going on because I want to help you." Shawn said, rubbing my legs as I sat on the sink.

"I don't need your help." I said, but it came out a little harsher than I meant it to.

"Y/n I'm just trying to be a good boyfriend, but if you don't want me to be a good boyfriend, then fine, I'll leave you alone. Whatever." Shawn said as he walked out and slammed the door. This made me cry even harder. I didn't try to hide my cries this time though. He already knew that I was crying, so why hide it?

I eventually stopped crying and walked out of the bathroom. Shawn was asleep in bed. I got hungry, it was almost dinner time. I decided to make Shawn and I some food. I made us some ravioli. I know, it's not much, but it's something. Shawn soon came downstairs and saw me. He must not have been upset anymore, because when he saw me, he smiled.

"Hi darling. Something smells good." Shawn said.

"Hi honey. Yeah, I made ravioli. Is that okay or do you want something else?" I asked. He shook his head and put his arms around my waist before kissing my forehead. The spot that he kissed was left feeling tingly after his lips left it.

"Ravioli is perfect. Whatever you make is perfect. I'm sorry about earlier, but I was just trying to help." He said. I nodded.

"I know, and I'm sorry I snapped. I didn't mean to. I just, I didn't want to talk about it and you kept pushing it." I said, looking down. He lightly lifted my chin up with his index finger so I was looking into his comforting brown eyes.

"Honey, I want to be there for you. It kills me when you're in pain, because when you hurt, I hurt. You're the love of my life and I want to help you." He said. I walked out of his grip, sat down in a chair, put my head in my hands, and started to sob. He ran over to me.

"I hate the way that I look. I hate it. I have stretch marks all over my body and I'm so fat and ugly. I hate myself." I cried. Shawn started to cry. "What's wrong?" I asked. He rarely cries.

"You're so beautiful. So, so, so beautiful. I love you so much. Please don't hate yourself honey, you're gorgeous and you're perfect in every single way. I love your stretch marks. They're part of what make you, well, you. I know that you don't like this but, when we have kids, you'll have stretch marks. And I know that when you get those stretch marks, you'll get upset, but I'll be there for you. You are not fat, and you are absolutely, one hundred percent, not ugly. You're the most gorgeous, most beautiful, sexiest woman I've ever seen. Please don't think these things and please, please, please, don't hate yourself. I love you." Shawn said. His words calmed me down and I wiped his tears away while nodding.

"Okay. I love you too. I just might need some reassurances every once in a while. Is that okay?" I said and asked. He nodded and wiped away the few tears of mine that were left.

"Baby, if that's what you need, then that's what you need. I'll do anything for you. I would move mountains for you." Shawn said. I smiled.

"Can I have a hug please?" I asked. Shawn chuckled and stood up and opened his arms.

"My love, you never have to ask, now get that gorgeous body over here." Shawn said, causing me to smile and giggle. I wrapped my arms around his torso as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and rested his head on mine as my head rested against his chest.

"I love you Shawn. Thank you for everything." I said.

"I love you too Y/n. You're welcome. Now, I'm starving, let's eat." He said as we stopped hugging. I looked down. "What is it?" He asked.

"I only made enough for you because I didn't want to eat." I said, tears coming back to my eyes. He hugged me again.

"Oh honey. Please don't starve yourself. If you're really that concerned, do you want to come to the gym with me?" Shawn asked. I nodded.

"Yeah." I said. Shawn nodded.

"Okay. We'll go tomorrow. Now, let me get you something to eat." Shawn said.

"No, you go eat, I'll get something." I said. Shawn shook his head.

"No Y/n. I want you to sit down while I make you something. Actually, why don't you have my ravioli and I'll make myself something to eat. My stomach can wait a little longer." Shawn said with a chuckle. I hesitated.

"Are you sure?" I asked. Shawn nodded.

"I'm positive. Eat my ravioli and I'll make myself something, and then we can cuddle on the couch, okay?" Shawn asked. I nodded and sat down to eat. I was pretty hungry. Shawn smiled at me.

"Is it okay if I start to eat while you make yourself something or do you want me to wait for you?" I asked my loving boyfriend.

"You go ahead and start, I'll make myself some ravioli." Shawn said, I nodded and started to pick at my food. I still wasn't fully convinced about what Shawn said. Shawn soon sat down to eat and caught on to me just picking at my food. "Y/n, I will force feed you if I have to. Eat." He said. I nodded and ate. I practically inhaled my food and soon finished it off.

"There, all done." I said. Shawn smiled.

"Good girl." Shawn said.

"That makes me sound like a dog." I said with a giggle. Shawn laughed.

"Sorry honey, didn't mean for it to sound like that." He said.

"It's okay." I said. Shawn finished his dinner too and clapped his hands together.

"Now, it's cuddle time. Want to watch the tv while we cuddle?" Shawn asked. I nodded.

"Sure. Just, until I feel better, please don't let your hands touch my stomach, okay?" I asked. Shawn got up, walked over to me, got on his knees, lifted up my shirt a little, and kissed my stretch marks.

"I love you, no matter what you look like. Stretch marks or no stretch marks. I want to be able to touch your stomach. I love your stomach. Please let me touch it honey." Shawn pleaded. I hesitated but nodded.

"Okay. You really love me that much?" I asked. Shawn smiled and nodded.

"I do. I love you more than life itself." Shawn said. That brought tears to my eyes, which Shawn wiped away.

"I love you so much. To infinity and beyond." I said.

"Isn't that line from Toy Story?" Shawn asked. I laughed and nodded.

"Yes, but I didn't mean to copy it." I said. Shawn laughed as we stood up and hugged, only pulling away to kiss. As soon as our lips met, I felt sparks course through me like fireworks, I felt my heart race like crazy, and I felt butterflies erupt and fly around in my tummy. Shawn and I pulled away, trying to catch our breaths after our rather passionate kiss. Shawn then peppered my neck with kisses, causing me to laugh like crazy. Shawn pulled away and smiled at me.

"Come on babe, let's cuddle." He said. I smiled and nodded. He gently grabbed my hand and I felt safe and warm. We walked over to the couch and he laid down first so I could lay on him. I shook my head.

"No. Let's sit up and cuddle. I don't want to crush you." I said. Shawn stood up and held my face in his hands.

"Y/n Y/l/n, you do not crush me. Would you just lay on me? I like it when you lay on me." Shawn said.

"Really?" I asked. He nodded.

"Really." He said. I nodded.

"Okay." I said.

"Good." Shawn said as he laid down on the couch. I laid on top of him and placed my head on his chest. I listened to his heartbeat and closed my eyes as he turned on a Harry Potter movie and rubbed my back.

"I love you Shawn. Thank you for making me feel better." I said. Shawn kissed the top of my head.

"I love you too. You're welcome my love." Shawn said, and with that, we cuddled. I'm so grateful for Shawn and for the fact that he can make me feel better.