A/n: Explicit language in this one! Anyways, I hope that you guys enjoy. Okay, let's begin!

I woke up without my boyfriend of three years, Shawn Mendes's, arms around me. You see, he's currently in Los Angeles recording a new album even though he hasn't even gone on tour for the one that he just released this past May. It feels as though it's been forever since I woke up in Shawn's arms and I really miss waking up to his gorgeous face. I sent Shawn a quick text saying good morning, just like I did every morning.

I checked Instagram, and saw that one of Shawn's friends, Ziggy Chareton, had posted a little clip of Shawn still being at the studio at eleven thirty at night the night before. I sighed, wanting nothing more than for my boyfriend to rest up a little and not overwork himself. A spell of sadness hit me as I sat in bed. I went to my camera roll on my phone and looked at pictures of Shawn and I. Shawn is the love of my life and I miss him so much. I went to Shawn's contact and called him, but after two rings, I realized that he was probably sleeping and hung up.

I got out of bed and got dressed. I took my phone and went downstairs, still feeling sad. Something that Shawn taught me is that home doesn't have to be a place, it can be a person. Shawn is my home, and at that moment, I was terribly homesick. I got out some cereal and some milk. As I was in the middle of eating, my cell phone rang. It was Shawn. Seeing his contact name, which read "My Love" caused me to drop my spoon into the bowl due to excitement. I immediately picked up.

"Good morning baby." I said.

"Good morning honey. Did you call me earlier?" Shawn asked. I nodded even though he couldn't see me.

"Yeah. Sorry." I said.

"Why are you sorry my love?" Shawn asked.

"Well, I had started to call you and then I realized that you may have still been asleep and I didn't want to wake you up so I hung up and didn't leave a voicemail or anything." I said.

"It's okay baby. You didn't do anything wrong. How did you sleep last night?" Shawn asked. I sighed.

"I slept okay. I didn't get much sleep but enough that I can function. What about you?" I asked. Now it was Shawn's turn to sigh.

"Now I feel bad because I got a good night's rest." Shawn said. I frowned.

"Don't feel bad about that Shawn. You deserve it. I've been seeing Teddy's and Ziggy's Instagram stories. You've been working hard, you deserve the rest. Just, please don't overwork yourself, okay?" I asked.

"Okay baby. Do you know why you didn't get much sleep last night?" Shawn said and asked. Uh oh.

"Yeah, but it's fine." I said.

"No baby, what is it?" Shawn asked. I took my spoon and played with my cereal.

"I just, well, I always sleep better when I'm in your arms and obviously I haven't been in your arms..." I said.

"What so you not being able to sleep is my fault now?" Shawn said, suddenly sounding frustrated and upset.

"I never said that Shawn." I said. Why is he getting upset like this?

"Well you kind of implied it." Shawn said.

"No I didn't!" I said.

"Whatever Y/n, I have to go." Shawn said, and with that, he hung up. He didn't even say that he loves me. I immediately called Shawn's manager, Andrew.

"Hey Y/n." Andrew said.

"Hey, um, Shawn and I just got into a little bit of a fight and I don't even understand what I did wrong or what happened." I said kind of quickly.

"Woah, woah, slow down. What exactly happened?" Andrew asked. I explained everything to him as I began to cry.

"Andrew, it's so hard to be in a long distance relationship with the love of my life, and I don't even know what just happened. He was fine one second, and then upset the next. I miss him so fucking much and I don't want to fight with him." I said as I cried.

"Listen, I know you don't want to fight with him, and I don't know why he was acting like that, but I'll get to the bottom of this and get back to you, okay?" Andrew asked.

"Okay. Can I tell you something else?" I asked.

"Of course." Andrew said.

"This may sound selfish but... tour starts soon for him, and I know that he loves being in the studio but I just really want him to be home so we can spend some time together before he has to get back on the road." I said.

"I understand. That's not selfish at all. I've seen you guys, and to say that you guys are soulmates is an understatement. You love him and he loves you. I'll talk to him." Andrew said. I sighed.

"It doesn't exactly feel like he loves me right now." I said.

"Y/n, he does, trust me. I have to go talk to him, but I'll talk to you later, okay?" Andrew asked. I nodded even though he couldn't see me.

"Okay. Thank you so much Andrew." I said.

"You're welcome Y/n. Bye." Andrew said.

"Bye." I said, and hung up. I pulled out my phone and texted my best friend, Grace.

Me: Hey, do you want to come over? I'm having a hard time and I just really need someone right now...

Grace: Sure, I'll be right over.

Sure enough, true to her word, Grace was at my house within fifteen minutes of our texting conversation. I opened the front door and hugged Grace tightly.

"What's going on?" Grace asked. I sat down on the couch with her and told her everything.

"I mean, you know that I get emotional, or maybe extra emotional, when I don't get much sleep, and I just don't understand why he so randomly got upset with me. I wasn't even trying to imply anything." I said as I cried again. Grace nodded.

"Yeah, I don't understand that either. I know you miss him, but you'll see him again soon, right?" Grace asked.

"Yeah, it like, a week or two." I said. Grace nodded. She could tell that I wasn't happy about how long I had to wait until I saw Shawn again. She hung out at mine and Shawn's house for a little bit longer before letting me be alone.

"Everything will get better. I promise." Grace said. I hugged her, nodded, and said goodbye to her. A few hours went by and I still hadn't heard from Andrew, nor had I heard from Shawn. I became nervous. I then pulled out my phone again and tried to call Shawn. He didn't answer, so I called Andrew. He picked up on the fourth ring.

"Hey Y/n." Andrew said.

"Hey. Did you talk to Shawn?" I asked nervously.

"Yeah. He got upset with himself for getting upset with you and making you feel that way." Andrew said.

"Okay. I tried calling him but he didn't answer." I said. There was a pause.

"Yeah, he's just busy with some stuff right now. Don't worry Y/n, he'll talk to you as soon as he can, okay?" Andrew said and asked.

"Okay. Can you tell him I love him please?" I asked.

"Of course." Andrew said.

"Thank you." I said.

"You're welcome. Bye Y/n." Andrew said.

"Bye." I said, and we hung up. Hours went by with no word from Shawn, making me even more nervous. We always talk to each other throughout the day. I tried calling him again, but it was to no avail. I was pacing around the living room, lost in my own thoughts, when the doorbell rang. I opened up the door and my jaw dropped. Shawn stood there, his luggage behind him as he held a bouquet of roses.

"Hi." He practically whispered. I pulled him in the house and hugged him as I began to cry.

"Hi." I said. Shawn rubbed my back.

"It's okay baby, I'm here honey, I'm right here. Why are you crying my love?" Shawn asked. I pulled away from the hug a little but kept my hands on his cheeks.

"I just, I hadn't heard from you in hours and I was worried that you were still upset with me and that I was going to lose you, so I'm just really happy to see you right now." I said. Shawn pulled me in for a hug again.

"Oh honey, I am so sorry that I made you think that, and I'm so sorry that I made you doubt the fact that I love you." Shawn said. I winced when he said that.

"Andrew told you that?" I asked. He nodded.

"Yes, he did. I do truly love you Y/n. You make me the happiest man alive and I'm so sorry that I got upset with you. I just felt bad because I was so far away from you and I felt like I couldn't do anything to help you with your sleep. I shouldn't have gotten upset with you honey, I'm sorry." Shawn said. I pulled away from the hug and held his face in my hands.

"It's okay baby. I forgive you." I said. Shawn smiled. He then completely pulled away from our hug and handed me the bouquet of roses.

"I almost forgot, these are for you." Shawn said. I smiled as I took them.

"Thank you baby. They're beautiful. Let me go put them in a vase." I said, but before I could walk away, Shawn gently grabbed my wrist and pulled me back towards him. I giggled.

"I've missed your kisses baby, and I really want one right now." Shawn said. My smile widened.

"Well then, you'll get one." I said. Shawn smiled and put his lips on mine. Our lips moved in sync as I felt my heart race like crazy, like it was going to beat out of my chest, I felt butterflies erupt and fly around in my tummy, and I felt sparks shoot through my body like fireworks. I suddenly remembered something and pulled away from the kiss with wide eyes.

"What's up babe?" Shawn asked.

"It's cold out and all of your luggage is out there." I said. Shawn threw his head back with laughter.

"I'll go grab it." Shawn said.

"Do you want me to help you?" I asked. Shawn thought for a moment before shaking his head.

"No. Go put the flowers in a vase and then sit on the couch honey. I'll be right there." Shawn said. I nodded and put the flowers in a vase, but when I saw that he was struggling to keep the door open as he brought in his luggage, I ran over to help him.

"Here, let me help you." I said.

"Baby, I'm fine." Shawn said.

"You're struggling to keep the door open. Let me help you." I said. Shawn finally nodded as we carried his luggage up the stairs and into our bedroom. We finally got all of his luggage inside and he sat down on the bed and patted it so I would sit next to him.

"Do you want to take a nap love?" Shawn asked. I moved so our legs were touching and Shawn wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I leaned on him.

"No. I mean, I wouldn't mind laying in bed with you but I wouldn't want to fall asleep. I just want to talk to you and hear your voice. Your voice is my favorite voice to hear." I said, and I could hear Shawn smiling. He kissed the top of my head, causing me to smile.

"Well, why don't we lay in bed and talk?" Shawn asked. I nodded and him and I got underneath the covers. I cuddled up to him and put my head on his chest as he laid on his back and we wrapped our arms around each other.

"Wait." I said as I lifted my head up.

"What is it baby?" Shawn asked.

"Why do you have so much luggage with you if you're recording an album?" I asked as I looked up at him.

"Well, I'm going on tour in thirty-two days, so I put the album on hold so I could spend the rest of my time before tour with you." Shawn said. Tears formed in my eyes as I smiled and hugged him tightly.

"I love you." I said. Shawn rubbed my back.

"I love you too. Why are you crying baby girl?" Shawn asked. I looked up at him and he helped to wipe my tears away.

"I'm just really happy that I get to spend so much time with you and I'm really happy that you're home. I'm so fucking grateful for you." I said. Shawn smiled and kissed my forehead.

"I'm really happy too and I'm so fucking grateful for you too." Shawn said. I nuzzled my face into his chest and smiled.

"Talk to me baby, I want to hear your voice." I said. Shawn started to talk to me as he held me and rubbed my back and I soon drifted off into a deep slumber. When I woke up a few hours later, Shawn was still holding me. I lifted my head up and when he felt my movement, he looked at me and smiled.

"Hello there sleeping beauty." Shawn said. I giggled.

"Hello. I'm sorry if I fell asleep while you were talking to me." I said with a frown. Shawn shook his head.

"It's okay baby. I wanted you to fall asleep anyways. Did me rubbing your back help you fall asleep?" Shawn asked. I nodded and kissed his jaw, causing him to smile.

"Yeah. It always does. Hey Shawny?" I asked.

"Yes Y/n?" Shawn asked.

"Can you do me a favor please?" I asked. Shawn nodded.

"Of course." Shawn said.

"Can you please hold me and love me forever." I said. Shawn smiled at me.

"That was already my plan honey. I'm going to wife you up someday." Shawn said, causing me to smile.

"Oh really?" I asked. Shawn nodded.

"Really. You're the love of my life, my soulmate, my best friend, my everything." Shawn said. My smile widened.

"I can't wait to be Mrs. Mendes." I said. Shawn had a huge smile on his face.

"I can't wait either. I would propose now but, one: I don't have a ring. Two: I don't have your parent's blessing, or at least not yet, and three: I don't want to propose and leave you to plan a wedding by yourself while I'm on tour." Shawn said. I nodded.

"It's okay, I understand." I said. Shawn kissed my forehead again and I hummed in contentment. Shawn then rolled over a little bit so he was laying on his side, just like I was. I placed a kiss on his clothed chest. Shawn and I stayed silent for a few moments before his phone rang.

"Oh it's Andrew. I'll be right back babe." Shawn said. I nodded as he left the room. When he came back, I had sat up so I was leaning against the headboard of the bed. He had a big smile on his face.

"What are you smiling about baby?" I asked as Shawn sat on his side of the bed and pulled me close to him. He then moved so my back was against his chest.

"Well my love, Andrew just said that I can have a plus one at the Grammys." Shawn said. My eyes widened.

"Really?" I asked. Shawn nodded and then kissed my cheek.

"Yup. So, Miss Y/l/n, would you like to be my plus one to the Grammys?" Shawn asked. I turned around so I was facing him.

"Yes!" I said as I hugged him.

"Good. That makes me so happy." Shawn said. I smiled but it quickly faded when I realized something.

"Wait, what day of the week do the Grammys fall on?" I asked as I pulled away from the hug. Shawn checked the calendar on his phone.

"A Sunday. Why?" Shawn said and asked. Tears formed in my eyes. I had school the day after the Grammys. There was no way that I would be able to go to the Grammys and come back in time to go to school while being well rested. I got off of Shawn's lap, ran into the bathroom, shut the door, and locked it so Shawn couldn't get in. I didn't want him to see me as I sobbed over how shitty of a girlfriend I was. This was going to be a big night for Shawn, and I couldn't even be there. At first, I gripped the sink, but then I let myself sit on the cold, hard floor and lean against the wall. There was a knock at the door. "Baby? What's wrong?"

"Please go away." I said.

"Honey, why are you crying? Please let me in, I need to know what's going on." Shawn pleaded. I sobbed. "Y/n if you don't open this door, I'm going to bust it down." Shawn said. I stood up and opened the door. Shawn rushed in so he could hug me, but I backed up. He gave me a confused look.

"I'm so sorry Shawn. I'm so sorry." I cried.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Shawn asked.

"I can't go to the Grammys." I said.

"Why not?" He asked.

"I have school the next day. I won't be able to go to the Grammys and then make it back in time for school with enough sleep. I'm so sorry." I said while still crying.

"Oh honey, I'm so sorry that I didn't think of that. It's okay if you can't go." Shawn said. I shook my head.

"No. It's not. It's not because I'm almost never able to go to award shows with you and this is the biggest one and it's going to be such a big night for you and I can't go. I'm so sorry that I'm such a shitty girlfriend Shawn. I'm so sorry." I said, looking at the floor. Shawn walked over to me and gently grabbed my face so I would look into his comforting caramel eyes. His eyes were wide.

"Do not ever say that you're a shitty girlfriend. You are the best girlfriend ever and it's okay that you can't go. I should've checked the calendar before I asked you. So what if you're not able to make it to some award shows? Your education comes first." Shawn said. I shook my head and wrapped my fingers around Shawn's wrists.

"No. You come first before anything and everything in my life. You do, Shawn. If I don't have you, nothing else in my life matters. My education doesn't come first. Sure it's important but you're the most important thing in my life and I can't even be there for you when I should be. I'm so sorry." I said, still crying. Shawn kissed my forehead.

"Honey, you didn't do anything wrong, it's okay. What can I do to make you feel better?" Shawn said and asked. I thought for a moment before shrugging.

"I don't know. I just feel really bad right now. You know I love you, right?" I asked. Shawn smiled and nodded his head violently.

"Of course I do, and I love you too. Please don't feel bad my love. Everything's okay. You're the most important thing in my life too, which is why your education means so much to me. Let's just go downstairs and relax, okay?" Shawn asked. I nodded.

"Okay. Is Andrew going to be mad or upset or anything?" I asked. Shawn shook his head.

"No, of course not." Shawn said.

"Okay. Can I have a hug please?" I asked. Shawn chuckled.

"My love, you never have to ask. Come here." Shawn said. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and neck as he wrapped his arms around my waist. By now I had stopped crying.

"Shawn?" I asked.

"Yes baby?" He asked.

"Are you sure that I'm not a shitty girlfriend?" I asked. Shawn pulled away from the hug a little.

"I'm one hundred percent positive. You're the best girlfriend ever. And I know that no matter what, no matter if I win or lose those Grammys, I get to come home to the best award ever, and that award is you. I love you honey." Shawn said. I smiled at him and placed a gentle kiss on his lips.

"I love you too. Let's go cuddle." I said. Shawn nodded and took my hand as we walked out of the bathroom and down the stairs. As our hands touched, I felt sparks of electricity shoot through me, yet I felt safe and warm at the same time. Shawn laid down on the couch first and I laid beside him. He rubbed my arm and back.

"You're so beautiful baby girl." Shawn said. I blushed and looked up at him.

"Thank you. You're so handsome. Do you want to know something that you taught me?" I asked. Shawn nodded.

"Yeah. What did I teach you?" Shawn asked.

"You taught me that home isn't always a place, it's a person too. You're my home Shawn, and whenever I'm away from you, it's like I'm homesick." I said. Shawn smiled a wide smile at me and kissed my forehead.

"Well I love the fact that I'm your home and you're my home too." Shawn said.

"Really?" I asked. Shawn nodded as he chuckled.

"Yup. And I get homesick from you too. Here come closer to me, I want to kiss you." Shawn said. I giggled as he pulled me closer to him. I put my lips on his and we kept kissing until it was like we couldn't possibly kiss anymore. We pulled away, gasping for air, and smiled at each other.

"I'm in love with you." I said. Shawn's smile widened.

"Well that's good because I'm in love with you too." Shawn said. My smile widened.

"Did you know that my favorite place to be is your arms?" I asked. Shawn held me tighter, but not too tight.

"Well you do always say that you love to be held by me." Shawn pointed out. I rested my head on his chest again and nodded.

"Yup. Your arms are my home." I said. Shawn rubbed my back.

"Do you want to something?" Shawn asked. I nodded my head.

"Yeah." I said.

"You can always come home to my arms." Shawn said. I looked up at him and smiled before placing a gentle kiss on his lips.

"I love you Shawn Mendes." I said.

"I love you too Y/n Y/l/n." Shawn said with a smile. Shawn and I had a really nice rest of our day, which we spent laying on the couch, with no tv on, while we cuddled. I'm so in love with this man and I'm so happy that he can always make me feel better.