Hey! This is the first instalment of the series I'm doing. I outlines what its about in the last chapter x btw Malia is Shawn's best friend since childhood and a neighbour. She is 21. She's 5ft 10 with dark hair, and is based on someone who helped me through this.

June 29 2017 - 7 days before Illuminate Tour US Leg begins

Shawn's POV

Today has been such a busy day! I've been prepping for the beginning of my US tour and have been learning some new chords to play during some songs. My grandmother has flown out from Portugal to see me before my show, and I'm on my way home from the studio to see her.

"Avo!" She's here! She's sitting on the armchair and I kneel down beside her and put my head on her lap. She takes her hands through my hair.

"How are you my love?" She cups my face.

"I'm good, how are you?"

"I'm just tired."

"I'll help you get into bed Avo." I hold my grandma's hand and help her into bed, tucking her in. "Night." I kiss her cheek.

"Night Shawnie. I love you."

"I love you too Avo." Little did I know that this was the last time I'd ever speak to her...

6 15 am, June 30 2017 - 6 days before Illuminate Tour US Leg begins

Shawn's POV

Crying. That's all I hear. Why? Just then, Aaliyah comes in.

"Shawn..."

"What happened?" I get out of bed and stand in front of my 13 year old sister.

"She's gone Shawn. Avo." She tells me - what? She was fine just 8 hours ago when I saw her! My knees give in and my mum runs in, pulling my limp body into her lap. I'm not crying though. I'm completely frozen, trying to process everything.

"Mum... I don't get it..."

"Heart attack. We took her to hospital around midnight and she didn't want to wake you as you had a long day at work." I don't know what's going on - my mum then left to go and answer the phone. Aaliyah comes and sits next to me. I pull her into my arms as she sobs into my chest. Me? No tears. At all. I don't get it - the news hasn't hit me like it hit her. I hold her tight for the next 15 minutes before my mum comes to get us.

"Dad wants us to come to the hospital to say our goodbyes, and the funeral is tomorrow." (A/N in our culture the funeral is on the day of the death or the day after if you can get the body. This is all based on my story so I'm not changing anything.)

The five minute ride to the hospital is silent. I'm sitting at the back with Aaliyah; she's resting her head on my shoulder. I put my arm around her and she grabs my cold hand.

We arrive at the hospital and my entire family hug each other. I still can't process what's going on - it feels like a horrible nightmare. My family go into see Avo, still with surgical tubes attached, but I couldn't go in, so my mum told me to wait outside the door whilst they went in.

Its now 7am, so I decide to call Malia to tell her what's happened.

"Malia? C...can you come to the hospital?" I'm shaking terribly and I'm freezing cold.

"Shawn what's the matter hunny?"

"Avo...she's gone...and I don't know what's happening..." I still haven't cried yet - did I even love her?

"I'm coming my darling. Hold on." She arrives 15 minutes later and throws her arms around my neck, taking her warm hands through my hair. "Shawn you're freezing." She takes off her (my) hoodie and puts it on me.

"I...I feel sick..." I put my hand over my mouth and run into the disabled bathroom I was close to and throw up into the toilet. Malia is right beside me and runs her hand up and down my back.

"Here. Have some water." A nurse comes from the ward and passes me a bottle of water. I was about to thank her but I can't speak - no words escape my mouth.

"Thanks." Malia tells her as she helps me to my feet. My family come out and we all go home.

The rest of the day was the same - family and friends came and went, everyone was crying all day but me. Its now 8pm and I go and get Aaliyah a jumper as she looked cold. I then see someone in the hallway - it looked like Avo. My heart shatters when I realise it was my mum's great aunt Georgia.

"Avo..." I say before my legs give in.

"Shawn!" Malia practically sprints over to me and I completely break down. It hits me - she's gone and I'll never see her again.

"She's...she's gone" I whimper out between sobs.

"Its okay, let it out" I cry into her chest as she holds on to me tight. My mum comes up to me and holds me for a bit, but nothing helps. I'm still sobbing, and I can't stop.

"Shawn let's get you to bed." My mum tells me. "Malia can you stay over? So Shawn isn't alone at night?" Malia is like my older sister so my mum doesn't mind her staying.
"Yeah, I bought my stuff round earlier." and helps me stand. My legs feel numb and weak, almost like the blood circulation stopped and now blood is rushing to my legs. Malia helps me into my room and sits me on my bed.

"Let's get you changed." She un does my belt and pulls my jeans off, and helps me into my black sweats. She lifts my shirt off and puts a white tee on me, before putting socks on my feet.

"I'm just gonna get changed." She comes back in five minutes and is wearing a black top, maroon hoodie, black leggings and grey fluffy socks. We get into bed - we have a very big sister/little brother style friendship. We lay together and she spoons me, holding me in her arms. "Go to sleep honey." She kisses my head through my hair and I fall asleep, hoping I'd wake up and its all a nightmare.

This is an extremely personal imagine. Every little thing that happened here happened to me as I want to write my story in someone else's shoes. Xx