Shawn

That was the first time I'd actually said those words out loud. I braced myself for Janet's reaction, not knowing what she would think or how she may feel once she knew. What I did know, is that I wanted to be honest with her about it.

"Are you serious?" She asked and touched my face. Janet smiled, her eyes glossy with tears. I nodded and started to cry. She embraced me, holding me tight as I fell apart in her arms. "It's okay." She said as she rubbed my back.

Janet led me into the bedroom where we stretched across the bed and talked for a while.

"I didn't know that you wanted kids." She said. "The Shawn I remember swore she never would."

I laughed.

"Well it's too late to change my mind now." I joked. "If I'm being totally honest, it was a Amelia who wanted to have children." I said. "I believe that when you get married, you give up the I's for Us. It was something that I wanted to do for her." I leaned back against the head board and touched my stomach. Janet rested her head in my lap, looked up at me and smiled. "I just found out this morning. I'm still in disbelief. Amelia and I have spent so much money trying to have a baby. All these years of with no hope and the day I decide to leave my wife..." I stopped, feeling like I was going to cry again. Janet rested my hand on her stomach as she just looked up at me. She looked worried. I knew she wanted to say something. "Say it." I said.

"I'm just wondering, do you feel like you made a mistake?" She asked fidgeting with my fingers.

"Leaving Amelia? No. I don't want to be married to someone that I can't trust, but if you're referring to my being here with you... I'm exactly where I want to be." She sat up and laid back against me, letting me wrap arms around her. I took her hand and kissed it.

"Does Amelia know?" She asked. I nodded.

"She's already making threats. She says the doctor wants to take another test to be sure.

Janet quickly sat up.

I laughed as I watched her tiny self hop out of the bed and run into the bathroom. She came out with a box that she tossed at me. "We're made for now, not tomorrow." She said smiling. "Let's do it."

"You just have spare pregnancy tests laying around the house?" I joked, waving it in the air. Janet rolled her eyes and grabbed her phone from the night stand.

"Hush up and go pee on the damn stick." She said, smacking my butt as I climbed out of bed and headed into the restroom. As I came out, Janet smiled.

"Now we wait." She said.

Janet glanced up from her phone and laughed at me as I paced in front of her bed.

"Shawn will you sit down, you're making me nervous." She said just as the timer started to go off. We glanced at each other and raced into the restroom.

I reached for it and hesitated.

"You look, I can't."
I said.

Janet smiled sweetly and grabbed it.

Her eyes fluttered with shock and confusion. She looked at me.

"It's negative." She said.

I took it from her hands.

"That cant be right... right?" I asked, looking for confirmation in her eyes. She reached in to the bathroom cabinet and grabbed the box with the remaining tests and examined it. There were a few more left inside.

"Maybe they're old." She said. "You know what? It's a store, just around the corner. You should walk down there and get more. We'll take them all if we need to."

I must have had a worried look in my eyes. Janet reached for my hand, grabbing my attention away from the negative test that I was still holding. She took it and tossed it into the waste basket.

"Shawn, this doesn't mean anything. These things are inaccurate sometimes." I nodded and quietly headed for the door.

The store was just at the corner of the street, I could see it from the building steps. I pushed my hands into my pockets as the chilly night wind hit me.

Negative. I thought to myself as I slowly strolled down the empty sidewalk. I was completely freaked out at the thought of being a parent but the disappointment I was feeling left me with an aching feeling in my chest.

Janet 

I sat nervously on the couch staring at the front door waiting for Shawn's return.

It finally opened and she walked swiftly inside holding a plastic bag full of opened test. I stood up slowly and narrowed my eyes at her in confusion.

"That's the same look the guy at the counter gave me as I walked out. I couldn't wait." She said and shrugged as I followed her back into the bathroom. She sat the bag down on the counter. "I took them in the restroom at the store."

"How's you managed to pee so much?" I asked in amazement.

She looked down at her phone. The timer counted down the last few seconds and started to ring and all of a sudden nothing else mattered.

One by one, we looked at each test. They were all negative. She shook her head, threw her hands up and looked at me.

"I just don't understand."

"I think it's time to call the doctor." I suggested. "It's only a little after 4 back in LA."

Shawn nodded and pulled out her phone. She already looked a bit flustered. I kissed her shoulder and turned to walk out of the restroom to give her some privacy. She grabbed my hand.

"Please stay with me." She asked.

I nodded and took her into mine. "Okay, I'm right here."

They talked back and forth for a while. He wanted Shawn in to see him as soon as possible.

"Okay Doctor, I will try to come in tomorrow." She said and hung up the phone.

"Tomorrow?" I pouted. "But Shawn you only just got here." I said moving closer to her. "I thought we could spend some time together. Eissa comes home tomorrow and I'd love for you to meet him."

"Trust me, I don't want to go." She said lifting my chin to bring my eyes back to hers. "It's my passport. It's about to expire. I have to go tomorrow otherwise, I'm stuck here."

"See now I like this plan." I said half way serious. She touched my face and rest her head against mine. I drew in a sharp breath as my heart began to beat a little faster. "You don't know what you do to me." I whispered. She brought my hand to her heart.

"The same thing you do to me." She said as her heart pounded against the palm of my hand. "Can we have that drink now?" She asked.

"Maybe you should wait until after you see the doctor." I said.

"J, I've taken 6 tests. I think the universe has spoken." She said and took my hand. "Come on."

We got comfortable. Shawn changed into a pair of black boxer briefs and a black t- shirt with the words DOPE written in white letters on the front. I settle with a grey tank and some grey and powder blue shorts.

Nearly an hour had passed. We barely touched our wine as we got close and cozy together on the couch. Shawn laid back against me as I stroked the waves in her hair. She rubbed my bare thigh with her soft hand.

Being with her was one of my favorite things to do. I loved the way we could just... be. Worry was clouding my mind though. I just wanted to know that she was okay.

"I'm not going to see the doctor tomorrow. There is no need for any more tests." She said. "I'm not pregnant and even though it was a little disappointing, I just dodged something that could have made my life a lot harder."

"Do you think you'll want to try again?" I asked. She shrugged.

"Maybe." She said. Shawn was quiet for a moment. "You know I'd thought of names. Kyndell if it was a boy and Harper if it would've been a girl." I smiled. "I'm just happy that I don't have anything tying me to Amelia anymore. Just the thought of co-parenting with her made me nervous."

"Well I'm sure that once it came down to it, you two would've gotten it together."

"I guess." She said and stood up. "Can we go lay down? I'm feeling pretty tired now." She asked. I nodded.

"Yeah of course." I grabbed our glasses along with the full bottle of champagne and emptied everything into the sink. "What time is your flight?"

"10 am."

"That's too early, you should cancel it. I'll take you home."

"How do you plan on doing that?" She asked.

"Ever wanted to join the mile high club?" I asked jokingly, grabbed her waist and pulled her closer to me. She looked at me sweetly and smiled.

"We've done that already remember?" Shawn kissed me, slow at first. My breathing was heavy, hers was too. We moaned in to each other's mouths and our hands were all over each other. We pulled at our clothes, throwing them all over the place until there was nothing left. She picked me up to put me the counter.

"Wait wait wait!" I said. "Maybe not in the kitchen. I sit the baby up here sometimes." We both began to laugh as she carried me into the bedroom and over to the bed.

"Is here fine?" She asked

I nodded as I giggled. "Yeah," I said gripping her waist tighter with my legs and biting my lips. "We can get as dirty as we want here." I said breathlessly and kissed her again.

He stomach and thighs we slick with my wetness. She devoured my neck and shoulders, sucking, kissing and biting at my skin. I didn't care what marks she left behind, I just didn't want her to stop. She thrusted her hips forward into me and I gripped her ass holding her close to me as I wiggled my hips. The pressure it my clit and I thought might lose it.

"Ohhhh my god." I said in her ear. She continued to rock against me, sensing I liked the contact. My nail marks were already in her ass and I moved to her back. "God I've missed you so much." I moaned louder. I said and hugged her body to mine. She grabbed my arms and loosened my grip around her. She kissed my chest, around my breasts then my nipples.

I lifted my head to watch her. She was looking back. Shawn smiled, winked and then swirled her tongue around my nipples. I smiled, closed my eyes and let my head fall back to the bed. She was driving me crazy.

I felt her hand, slowly moving up between my thighs. I gasped and my back arched to her touch.

"Mmmmm is that all for me?" Shawn said with a smirk. I playfully pushed her over and got on top of her. I spread my legs wider, grabbed her hand and slowly pushed her fingers inside of me.

I gasped again as she immediately started working me, slowly. It was agonizing but it felt so good. I looked down at her chocolate body under me as I caressed her breast softly.

"Damn Baby." I said as I rocked my hips. She was watching me closely. I let out a low and soft moan and leaned in to her for a kiss. Bending forward gave her more freedom to invade me. Her fingers left me briefly and pushed into again this time with a third finger.

I melted in her as our bodies rocked to the same rhythm. Her free hand was tangled in my hair and she tugged at it gently. She brought my lips back to hers, swirling her tongue around mine as I entered a state of bliss. My thighs tensed, sweat dripped from my trembling stomach down to hers.

My entire body was shaking on top of her, but I still felt like I was in control. I still felt like I could hold on just a little longer as she fucked me faster. She let my hair go and wrapped her free arm around my waist. God she was so deep inside of me.

"Who makes you feel this way?" She asked, finally breaking her silence. Her voice brought me closer, making me gasp.

"You, baby, nobody but you." I moaned breathlessly. She shook her head.

"You know what I want to hear." She said. "Who does this pussy belong to baby?" She asked. My back was arched for her, I couldn't hold back anymore. I gripped the sheets on each side of her and as I began to cum, I screamed out her name.

"SHAWN!" I cried out and kissed her.

My tears wet her face and she opened her eyes to look at me. She touched my face softly and smiled.

"Shawn I love you." I said beginning to pour my heart. "I've always loved you and I know what our situation is, I'm fully aware. But... I don't want to live without you anymore baby."

She smiled. "I love you more than you'll ever know." I shook my head.

"Shawn if I would've known what I know now... I would've, I could've..." My emotions began to get the best of me. She pulled me into her arms and laid my head against her chest while I cried.

"Hey, don't do that." She said, holding me tight. "Yeah things would be different but Eissa wouldn't be here. J things happened exactly the way they were suppose to." I lifted my head to look at her.

"Did you always think we would get back here, where we are now?" I asked curiously.

"There were times were I doubted it, I'm only human." I paused. "Then I saw you at the concert that night. I literally was just following a group of fans. When I saw you come out of the building insecurity overwhelmed me. But then you turned and looked right at me. As if there was no one there but me. That was the moment I realized we couldn't be done."

"But how could you be so sure?" I asked.

She sat up, gazed at me. "It's the same look in your eyes the first time we kissed. The same look you gave me the day I walked into the dance studio. The same look you're giving me now J." She touched her forehead to mine and our eyes closed. "Can you feel that? It has never changed or faded... Janet it has always been you. It will always be you."