Janet

Gil pulled up as I stood just on the inside of the  door to Shawn's building. I opened it and met him halfway. It was pretty obvious that I'd been crying. He could tell right away and he held his arms open as he approached me quickly.

"Dunk, come here babe." He said pulling me into an embrace. He held me for awhile and let me cry. "What happened?" He asked a few times as I continued to weep, not saying a word.

Once in his car, we rode in silence and Gil occasionally glanced in my direction. I did my best to avoid his eyes because I wasn't ready to talk about it. So I remained quiet and attempted to get my thoughts and emotions together. The day had been exhausting and nothing sounded better than my bed.

A sense of relief came over me as we pulled into the driveway of my home.

Once in my bedroom , I began changing my clothes and Gil stretched across the bed.

He just watched me walk back in forth. I was finding anything I could to distract myself. He stood, gently grabbed me by the arm and forced me to stand still.

"Dunk, can we sit for a second, please." He said, convincing me to join him on the bed. I just looked at him, shaking my head, trying to hold back the tears but they just kept coming.
"What happened tonight Janet?" He asked again as he reached over to the end table to grab the box of tissues as the tears started to stream down my cheeks. I just gazed at him.

"She's wasted so much of her life on me Gil." I said finally.

"Hey, don't say that. You've given her the the opportunity to do something wonderful with herself. So trust this has not been a waste for her at all." He said.

"I don't mean that." I looked down at my hands in my lap. "You know I guess I thought she would always just be there when I was ready." I looked at her. "How could I do that to her? Now it's too late. She doesn't want to be with me anymore."

"I think she's just frustrated and a little worn out with this but I know she loves you. Why don't you let me talk to her." Gil said, but I shook my head and stood up in front of him. The sadness in me was quickly shifting into anger and all though I knew I had no right to be mad, my heart was breaking.

"No, I don't want you discussing me with her anymore. As far as I'm concerned, she just made the biggest mistake of her life."I said realizing my ego was starting to rear its ugly head. "In the end she'll feel this more than I will. I could have anyone I want and I chose her. If she loved me the way she said, the time it took us to get here would make no difference."

Gil scoffed with a confused look on his face. "Dunk, she has feelings too!" He said raising his voice just a bit. "Not to mention she been waiting for you half her damn life." His voice softened again. "Janet do you really want to be this way with someone you love?"

I'd turned my back to him. I didn't want him reading my emotions. "Love has nothing to do with it anymore. That's not the love I remember from her." I said sniffling through my words. I was so angry with her but not as angry as I was with myself.

Gil stood to his feet. I could tell he was starting to get irritated with me. "You're wrong. If nobody is going to tell you the truth, I will. You made her wait for you all this time, leading her on, until you were ready... and now you have the nerve to be upset with her? This is petty and I'm just a little disappointed to hear this coming from you." He said and walked away. I followed him into the hall and down the stairs.

"I can't do this without you Gil." I said. He stopped and turned to face me. "You have to choose." I heard myself say. I felt guilty right away but I wanted him to have my back and be on my side. "You can call me out on my shit all you want, when it's just us but I need to know you're standing with me on this one."

"Dunk she's my friend too. I'm not choosing between you." He said shaking his head. "This is crazy, you're going way over board with this."

I took his hands into mine. "I need to know who you're with, me or Shawn."

"You Janet, of course I'm with you." He said as tears started to stream down his cheeks. He wasn't very happy with me. I just needed him to trust that I knew what I was doing. We talked until neither of us could keep our eyes open and we fell asleep in my bed.

Gil wasn't up for much conversation on the ride to the studio. He must've seen the worry on my face. He took my hand and squeezed it letting me know that we were still good.

We were the last to arrive and everyone was standing around just waiting. They all smiled as we walked in. Shawn clapped her hands right away and ended all the chatter.

"Okay everyone lets begin." She said. "We only have a few weeks left before the first show. I need everyone sharp today as we go over the new material." So places everyone." I stopped her.

"Gil will be leading today." I said.

Shawn

I glanced over at her. "Can I speak to you in private for a second J?" I asked. She followed me into the restroom where she stood in front of me with her arms folded.

"Is this about last night? Because if it is, you're really letting it spill over into your work right now." I bluntly said. She narrowed her eyes at me. I'd come in a bit hot. "Look J, there are some new combos that need to be taught today. I thought it might be best if I go through them with everyone first." I said.

"You and Gil both came up with them, did you not?" She asked.

"Yeah ofcourse, But," I said.

"Then it's settled. Gil will lead today." She said and walked out of the restroom.

My face felt hot and I felt like I was going to cry. I rinsed it with water and gazed at myself in the mirror as I took a few deep breaths. "You're Okay Shawn, you're making the right choice." I assured myself as I dried my face, walked back out to the dance floor and took my place.

I could barely look at Janet and my focus was almost nonexistent. I was missing combos I'd come up with myself and my frustration was growing by the second.

"Okay!" Gil said clapping his hands to get everyone's attention. "lets take a break. Be here and ready in 45 minutes." He said. "You guys are doing wonderful."

Taking a few sips of my water, I looked over at Gil. He glanced at me and looked away quickly. I could tell he was avoiding me, so I walked over to him.

"Hey beautiful." I said.

"Oh hey." He said briefly glancing at me over his shoulder. I took his hand and turned him to face me. "You okay babe?" I asked. He looked like he wanted to tell me but he glanced at Janet instead. "This is about me and J? I'm not trying to hurt her Gil, I'm just trying to do what's best for me. Please don't be mad at me for that." I said gripping his hand tighter.

"I'm not mad. I swear. She just needs me to be there for her right now. Do you understand?" He said. His tone was weird.

"Are you choosing sides?" I asked. He didn't say anything. I nodded. "Cool, I get it." I said letting go of his hands. He grabbed me as I turned to walk away. "I'm fine." I said snatching my arm away as I returned to my corner of the room.

There was never a time we're I felt more alone than I did standing in this room full of people. I glanced my phone. I'd gotten a text from Dani. She was excited to tell me that they'd found Kaz a home and the new owner wanted to pick her up in an hour. I would be out of rehearsals in time, so I'd arranged for maintenance to let them in so they can gather her and her things.

It was like another hit to the gut. I'd known it wasn't permanent but with the way my day was going it was enough to send me over the edge and headed for the bathroom we're I spent my entire break sobbing.

The rest of rehearsals were just okay. I managed to get my head in the game no matter how late and finished off strong. I didn't wait around after rehearsals like normal. In fact I was the first to leave.

I drove around for a couple of hours until I ended up at a bar and that's where the drinks began flowing.

I was about seven shots in before I began buying shots for everyone that approached the bar. I stood up on the bar to make a toast.

"Hey hey hey!" I yelled getting everyone's attention. I didn't notice Preston watching me from the far right end of the room. "Wanna dedicate this next shot to my ex. Don't ever trust a woman in the entertainment business..." I began to say.

"Okay okay!" I heard. "Show's over everyone. Let me get my friend home now." I looked to see Preston holding his hand up at me. "Let's get you home." He said.

Before I new it I was in my bed and Preston was standing over me. "How did you know where to find me?" I asked, trying my best to ignore the spinning room.

"Gil called me. He said you seemed upset when you left the studio today. You're friend knows you well. He told me to sit back, let you cut loose and then take you home. He and Ms. Jackson are down stairs now. He's parking your car."

"Janet is here!" I said and sat up quickly, instantly making myself sick. I got up and ran to the restroom where I began throwing up. That's the last thing I can remember.

Janet

"Where is she?" I asked quietly As I walked inside.

"She's out." Preston said. "She is not gonna feel good tomorrow."

"Did she say anything?"

He nodded. "Yeah She said a lot on the way here." We both walked into her bedroom. "She's not doing too well if I'm being honest. This is hard for her." He said. "I'll give you a moment."

I watched him walk away and then look down at her. Tears filled my eyes and gently sat down next to her. "I wanted you to say yes but I think you made the right choice." I took her hand, kissed her palm and put it to my face. I continued, my voice was shaky. "I was wrong baby and I realize that now." I said as I began to cry. "If I hurt you and I know I probably will, I'm sorry. I just know if I don't, you'll continue to hold on and I can't let you do that anymore when you and I both know, that you deserve so much better." I leaned in and kissed her head.

"J." She whispered in her sleep. Hearing her say my name sent me into sobs and I needed to get out of there quickly. I stood up and turned to walk away but Gil was standing behind me.

"That's your plan? To push her away?" He said, tears streaming down his cheeks. I didn't say anything as I walked passed him and headed for the door, he grabbed my hand forcing me to face him. "That's not fair. You're making this worse. Ask her again. She'll say yes. It's what you want. It's what she wants." He said. "Ask her again. You owe her this!"

I walked past him and over to the kitchen counter where I sat her key down. "Preston is taking me home. Can you use your key to lock the door?" I kissed his cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow."