Janet
(Gil's Place)

I laid down across the couch and rested my eyes for a second. I could hear Gil moving all around me. He left the room for a moment and then came jogging back in.

The loud pop of a cork startled me and I looked up to see him holding a bottle of champagne.

"Shall we?"

"Yes please." I said as he poured our drinks and took a seat on the coffee table in front of me. He looked at me for a moment. His eyes looked sad.

"What babe? Why do you have to look at me that way?" I asked.

"We never hang out anymore Dunk." He finally said. I sat up to meet his gaze.

"Are you kidding, Gil we see each other all the time."

He smacked his lips. "Bitch thats called working." He said. "We used to talk. You use to tell me everything and now I feel like I don't know what the hell you've got going on these days." He waited for my response.

"You and Shawn have gotten really close and I know that you love her a lot. So I've been kind of distancing myself just. If things don't end well for us, I don't want you to be caught in the middle." That was my very poor attempt to explain to him how I felt.

He smacked his lips. "Bullshit. You know where my loyalty lies, she trust me just like you do but I would never break your confidence for anyone, for any reason." He glanced at me.

"I know you and Shawn have the same relationship Gil. I'm sure there are things you know that I don't,"

"Dunk, I..." He started to say. I really looked at him for a moment. He really did look sad.

"Shh Gil, don't. I'm okay with it, really." I said, trying to stop him before he said something he might regret. "She deserves a friend like you just as much as I do. But trust me when I say that I'm doing this to protect our friendship, not hurt it." I said.

"Well I don't want it." He said and stood to his feet. "Clean slate right now. I need to come clean about something."

I sat up on the edge of the couch and finished off my glass of champagne. I looked at him and shook my head.

"This is not a good idea. I don't want you to break any confidence that you and Shawn have. I don't want to further screw things up with she and I."

"Good because its you who keeps messing it up:"

I laughed. "Come again?"

"It's true but we will get to that part soon enough." He said as he began to pace. "I have hyped myself up to do this, and my head is going to fucking explode if I don't get it out." He was on the verge of tears.

"Babe whats wrong?" I was starting to get worried. I put my hands up. "Breathe and tell me what's going on."

"Can I just say that I love you, I do, but you have had Shawnette jumping through all kinds of emotional hoops for you and I think she is at her max. I know that you say you love her but if you don't get better at showing it, because you are this close to losing her."

He just gazed at him. That was definitely not what I wanted to hear.

"See? You're taking her side and try to put this all on me? What about her lying and sneaking around with Amelia behind my back?" I said defensively.

"It's not about taking side and If you would've just let her explain instead of being so stubborn you would've known, that it wasn't her fault J, it was mine." He said.

I was so confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Every since you and Shawn started seeing each other y'all began to have less and less time to chill. Aside from the occasional hookup I was getting lonely out here all by myself." He walked over to the window and looked out into the night sky. "I went to the club looking for trade one night and I ran into Amelia at the bar." He gulped the rest of his drink, grabbed the bottle from the table and began to pour himself another glass. He held the bottle in my direction. I nodded and he topped me off. "Anyway, neither of us were having any luck finding somebody and we ended up hanging out all night."

"Hm." I said and nodded. "So what? Are you guys friends now?" My irritation was evident.

"Dunk, I'm really putting myself out here right now. Laying all my shit out on the table, can you at least give me enough respect to hear me out and let me finish please?" He said as tears fell down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry," I said. "It's the champagne talking. I promise not to speak until you finish."

Gil took a deep breath as he began pacing again. He was making me nervous. "We did actually become friends. She was nice to me, kinda wild and always smiling but one those people that only smile to hide how they of really feel." Gil sat down in front of me. "Amelia was having a hard night this particular night. She wanted to get twisted and you know I was down but when I got there, she was fucked off already. I'd seen her shit faced but nothing like this. I couldn't understand a word she was saying." He was quiet for a moment like he needed a second to regroup. His voice cracked as he continued. "I uh, I got up to go use the restroom and when I came back I thought she'd fallen asleep on the couch. I tried several times to wake her, she wouldn't wake up." A tear fell down his cheek and I reach out and wiped it from his face. "She had coke and pills and shit everywhere. I didn't want to call the police, so I called Shawn." He let his head rest against his knees as he sniffled through his words. "When she got there and knew exactly what to do. She saved her Dunk." He said and looked up at me. "She was there because I asked her to come, and the key... it was mine. Amelia had given it to me and I gave it to Shawn to lock the door when she left while I tended to Amelia. I was suppose to get it from her the next day but I kept forgetting."

Guilt came over me. "Why would feel like you couldn't tell me this Gil?"

"Shawn didn't want me to tell you. She thought that you might get upset with me, so she took the blame."

"Babe you're my family, my very best friend. I need you to always be honest with me. I've been so wrapped up in my own stuff that i guess I didn't realize that I'd been neglecting my bestie duties. For that I'm sorry." I said. "I am however upset that you lied to me about hanging out with her. That puts me dangerously close to someone is trying their hardest to hurt me. Why her Gil, of all people? Especially after what she did."

"Do you remember the day the video was taken? I called you, to see if you wanted to hangout but you had plans with Shawn." He asked.

I nodded. "I remember." I said.

" I called Amelia right after we got off the phone to see if she wanted to chill. I was right around the corner from her and picked her up myself. She didn't do it Janet. We spent the whole day together." He explained. "I even have pictures of us in my phone from that day."

I knew that he wouldn't lie to me about this. My mind was blown. If she didn't do it, then who did? I didn't know whether to be relieved or worried.

"And the fire alarm?" I asked.

"I don't know, maybe. She was pretty hurt when she found out you guys were still seeing each other. She wasn't with me that night." He looked at me, his eyes were unsure.

I hugged him and kissed his cheek. "I believe you and I'm not mad." I said. "Does Shawn know?

"No. I promised her that I would stop hanging out with Amelia after that night but I didn't. And then the pictures came out and you guys were convinced she had done it. I didn't want any part of it or her anymore, so I ghosted her. She still texts me from time to time to say she is thinking about me and misses hanging. But I'm good with the choice I've made." He said. He looked at me for a second. "Thinking about Shawn?"

I looked at him and nodded. "I'm really fucking things up aren't it?" I asked

"Do you want an honest answer?" He joked.

"Well had our own talk and..."

"And what?" He interrupted me. "Y'all are just gonna mess around, keep it simple. News flash Dunk it doesn't work that way when feelings are already involved. Stop playing with her feelings before it's too late to salvage whatever is left of the relationship. Either be with her or let her find happiness elsewhere."

"I should've took her up on her offer to have drinks with her and Kelly tonight. That could've been fun." I said.

Gil started to laugh. "Bitch are you completely blind? Hold on, have you told Kelly about you and Shawn?"

"She knows that there is a thing but I've never gone into details about how deep things have become, why?"

"Kelly trying to end her night with some hot chocolate honey."

"No Kelly is my girl, she wouldn't do that to me." I said.

"J in her mind y'all are not official. Not to mention we all know about JD." Gil said.

"Ugh how is everyone all in my business!"

"Janet you know people talk. He's a little flashy and likes the attention so watch yourself. The fuck do you see in him anyway?" He asked with his nose turned up.

"He's very sweet to me and he makes me laugh. It's nice, but nothing more than just good company."

"Mmhm." He responded.

"I'm serious. I like him and all but I love Shawn. Besides,
I'm not ready to be tied down again. Not yet. I think Shawn is starting to understand that."

"Alright Ms. Janet. Do you honey, just please be careful."

I got up and walked over to the window. I couldn't stop thinking about Shawn.

"Talk to me pretty." Gil said as he got up and walked over to me. I glanced at him, tears in my eyes.

"I'm fucking things up with her and I'm not sure why. The worst part is, I don't know how to stop it." I said. "You don't think that I know how perfect we are or how amazing we could be? I see it right in front of me but I just can't grab hold of it." I wiped my face. "I want to, but in our story it's like she has already in sight of that happily ever after and I'm just starting the book."

"Stop talking in riddles Dunk! Damn artists, What are you trying to say?"

"Maybe I'm just not ready. I'm not done exploring. I tried settling down, twice already. I keep telling myself... You gotta do it different J, this time."

Gil nodded. I think he finally understood. "Can I just ask you a question?" He said.

"Of course." I said looking out the window in a daze.

"Who has been your constant through all of this Dunk?"

I quickly met his gaze. "She told you about that?"

"She did, and it was the most romantic I've ever heard in my entire life but also the saddest." He said. "Janet she has been waiting for you to choose her for over 10 years. She has been there. She risked her life for you, more than once, and has loved you unconditionally and still does. I don't want to make you feel bad because I understand now that you have your reasons, but she is not James or Rene... Or a funny new dude trying to make himself relevant. She has stuck by you, fought for you, stayed true to you ever step of the way and I've never seen anything like it. Just think about that." He said.

The hazed night sky kept my attention as I soaked in the things that Gil had said. What was I going to do?