Janet

I looked myself over in the mirror one more time growing frustrated with the faint bags underneath my eyes.

"I need to at least look like I have a pulse tonight." I said. The door to my dressing room opened and Gil ran in out of breath. I shot my head in his direction. "Gil!" I laughed. "You can't be in here right now! You need to be in place when the music starts."

"I know I know, I'm sorry. I just had to come see you before we went on. I wanted to tell you that I love you and to say that I really appreciate you believing in me. I'm about to slay this fuckin stage!" He said throwing his hands up.

We'd only seen each other briefly at the airport the day before. I was boarding the flight first when he saw me and shot me a heart with his hands before joining the rest of the kids.

"You are one of my favorite people in the whole world and I love you too beautiful, but I need you ready. Okay?" I said and started to apply more make up.

He came, stood next to me and slapped my hand. "Girl stop covering up what God gave you. You're putting on too much! You really need to let me get my cousin Preston up in here. He will Beat That Face, do you hear me?" He said and snapped a few times.

"I already have a Preston, besides the Gil I have is a hand full already." I joked. "Now go finish getting ready please. I don't wanna have to fire you at your first show."

"If you do, you betta keep me as the bestie bitch." He said, kissed me and walked out of the room.

"How old is he again?" Joey asked. He was waiting for me by the door.

"He's 18." I said.

Joey shook his head. "Somebody's lying."

"Hush Joey. He has no reason to lie." I turned to face him. "How do I look?"

He smiled and held out his hand. "You look ready. Now let's get you on that stage."

The First Show

I was in my zone and the crowd was feeding the excitement growing inside of me. For just a moment I'd forgotten about everything negative. And as the crowd chanted my name and screamed I took it all in.

My brother's words echoed in my ears.

"You strike the match when you hit the stage." Michael said. "But you have to let them fan the flames Dunk." He stood proudly. "Stand there, in all of your glory and let them go crazy." He was quiet for a moment, as he demonstrated and then continued. "Glance around and look at the effect you have on people. You'll see that your fans are sending you all the energy you need to keep going. Some will be crying, others will be screaming Your Name until they're red in the face." He said and pointed at me. "They are there for you... And then, when you feel that energy start to burn in the pit of your stomach, set that stage on fire."

Leaving the arena my crew and I were on an all time high. The show was perfection and I couldn't have been more proud of the people surrounding me.

As our first show came to an end, I felt more hopeful than I was going into it. After all, I am a professional and I know how to leave my personal life at the door but doing that with Shawn was impossible.

I'd seen her too, that day at the airport. She and Amelia walked in hand and hand. We all gathered around as Tina lead us in a prayer before boarding the plane. I remember seeing Amelia look at Shawn afterwards and smile.

"Promise to call me?" She asked her.

"I promise." Shawn said. "I love you baby." She said.

Amelia smiled. "I can get use to hearing you say that." She said and kissed her. "I love you too."

It was all I could think about as I stared at the back of her head in the van on the way back to our hotel. Everyone was laughing and talking about the show, except Shawn and I.

Our stage chemistry was off tonight. At least it felt that way to me. I'm sure she could feel it too. I glanced towards the window as we pulled up to the hotel.

Janet's Room

Once there, I wasted no time heading for my room. I definitely needed some time alone, so I quickly cleaned myself up and got ready for bed. I was exhausted and just as my eyes drifted closed, there was a knock at my door.

With a grunt I got out of bed. It was the girls. All of the girls. Peeking into the room was Tina, Teresa, Nicole, Kelly and Shawn. Tina was holding two bottles of wine.

"You guys know that there is no partying until off time." I said and yawned.

"But we can't sleep." Teresa said.

"Yeah, were still trying to calm down, the high from the show is incredible." Kelly added.

Shawn eyes met mine and we awkwardly looked away.

The girls piled into the room and we started on the first bottle of wine. Everyone gushed about how much fun they'd had tonight. There was another tap on the door.

"I'll get it." Shawn said and walked over to open it.

"Y'all can't start girls night without the Queen honey!" Gil said loudly, walking into the room with another bottle of wine. The girls all laughed and motioned for him to join us. Nicole glanced at me. "So rope burn..." She said and then looked at Tina.

"What about it Nikki? I asked.

"We want to know if you're gonna do it next time?" She said. Shawn glanced at us, confused.

"Do what?" Shawn asked. She wasn't aware of any changes to the set.

"It would be so hot Jan. Just picture this..." Tina said. "We slide down the poles and step off the chairs for the last time. The three of us approach him, you look down at him deviously smiling at him, making him wonder what you're going to do next. Get all up in his personal space, lean in and boom... you kiss him. The crowd would go in - fucking - sane."

Gil cut his eyes in Shawn direction. She was clearly not for it.

Shawn stood up. "What? No. Kiss a complete stranger? You don't know where them dudes been." She said turning her nose up.

"You act like you've never kissed a stranger before?" Tina said. The other girls agreed. "Shit, she might find something she likes." As the girls starting getting rowdy and cheering.

Shawn looked at me and I shrugged. "I would have to have some kind of chemistry with him. I'd have to feel it in the moment. If it feels right, then yeah I think I might do it." I said and the girls squealed in excitement.

Shawn stood up, tossed back the rest of her first glass of wine. "Whatever man, swap spit with random guys all you want." She said and grabbed Gil's bottle out of his hand. "I'm gonna go open this." She got up and walked into the kitchen. Gil looked at me as I got up to follow her, leaving all the others in the living room.

I approached her from behind.

"Shawn whats wrong?" I asked.

She looked at me over her shoulder. "Nothing."

"Talk to me please." I said touching her arm but she moved away.

"It doesn't matter J, you can do whatever you want." She scoffed at me. "That's what you do anyway isn't it.

She was really started to upset me. My thoughts went to Amelia. "Are you really in love with her Shawn?"

"Did you ever love me?" She asked raising her voice just a bit.

"Lower your voice please." I asked looking towards the hallway.

She looked at me and laughed. Shawn got close to me, pressing herself against me.

"Oh yeah, secrets... got it." She said.

I shoved her. "Fuck you Shawnette, you're only acting this way with me because you're jealous. Don't give me shit because you went out and got yourself a girlfriend." I said.

"Forgive me Mrs. Elizondo, for being on my high horse tonight." She mocked, downed another glass of wine and started to pour another.

"Thats had enough for tonight." I said and reached for the glass. She snatched it just from my grasp.

"Nah, I'm good. Now if you'll excuse me, I promised my girl I'd call her tonight." She bowed and left me standing in the kitchen. I heard the room door slam shut. Leaning against the counter, I looked up as Gil walked in.

"The fuck was that all about?" He asked pointing behind him.

I rolled my eyes and folded my arms. She had really gotten up under my skin tonight. Gil could tell. He could see mind at at work.

"Dunk, you both have made choices that you're not happy with but going at each other's throats is definitely the wrong thing to do." He looked at me again, knowing it was too late. "Shit... here we go."

If that's how she wanted to be, then two could play that game.