Louis rested his hand on Charlotte's stomach as she snuggled against him whilst they watched Here's Lucy. Well, she was watching and he was humouring her. Now and again he felt the baby move and he couldn't decide if he was excited or terrified by the prospect of becoming a father.

"You can stay tonight if you want," Charlotte said turning to look at him. "Jamie's grandparents aren't dropping him off until tomorrow evening."

"Okay," he said. "Do they know that you're with someone? That you're pregnant?"

"Possibly, but I stand behind the door when they drop Jamie off, and anyway, we never did have personal conversations."

"Right," he said thinking that the more he heard about Nick and his parents, the stranger they sounded. "It's probably best if you keep it that way."

"I suppose some things are better not mentioned," she said and he was almost certain there was an edge to her voice.

"Well, your life is none of their business," he said cautiously. "Oh, my mom was asking if you'd come around for dinner one evening?"

She smiled softly. "That would be nice, I feel so much better now we've cleared the air. I didn't know how anxious I was about the situation until it was resolved if that makes sense?"

"Yeah, it's best not to keep things bottled up."

"Do you really think that?" she asked meeting his eyes. "It's just your mom said some things..."

He groaned, "Now what?"

"Nothing like that," she said hastily. "She was very complimentary but I felt like a fraud. She was giving me credit for you turning your life around, and I barely knew what she was talking about."

He raised his eyebrows. "I'm sure you did."

"Well, I was putting the pieces together but..." She shook her head. "Forget it, it doesn't matter."

He took a deep breath, "It's not a secret Lottie, I don't know why I haven't told you." He paused, knowing that wasn't entirely the truth. "I guess, I don't want what happened in the past to be a part of us."

She twisted further around to properly look at him. "But if it's a part of you?"

"You're right, as usual, but I'm not sure I know where to start." He took a deep breath. "Have you heard of Operation Buffalo?"

B Company had been walking along highway 561 for hours, the sun blazing down and the humidity making it hard to breathe. They'd achieved their first objective, securing a crossroad along the way.

"Not long now Jones," Louis said to his younger comrade. "Keep your head down, and another month of this and you'll be back home on your ranch."

The younger man chuckled. "How many times do I have to tell you I live in the city?"

"Don't spoil my illusions, you're from Texas, you live on a ranch and ride horses okay."

Jones smiled at the long-running joke Louis made, in an attempt to keep his spirits up. "Well, in that case, I'm gonna ride a buffalo as well, and get a cowgirl-" He halted as sniper fire broke out.

"Take cover!"

They dived behind hedges along the roadside. They provided no protection against the bullets but at least the enemy wouldn't be able to pick them out so easily. The company commander tried to get them into some sort of order but flame throwers set the hedges on fire forcing them back into the open space. There they came under heavy fire from artillery and mortar bombs. Louis fired wildly into the direction the attack was coming from and felt a searing pain tear through his leg knocking him off his feet.

He knew he had to take cover but there was no cover, all around him more soldiers were falling. His rifle was still in his hands and he tried to take position to fire again when a bullet slammed into his chest. He fell back and knew it was the end. He could see Jones yards away from him still on his feet and firing. Seconds later he was hit with mortar fire, and Louis saw he'd lost a leg. His panicked screams filled the air, and it was the worst sound ever. Eventually, Louis heard his screams fade, and he felt himself finally losing consciousness. He drifted off to the sound of an approaching helicopter.

"Oh Lou," Charlotte murmured, her words heartfelt. "I hate to think of you going through that."

"I was one of the lucky ones," he said ruefully. It had been the worst day for loss of life that the marines had experienced in Vietnam.

She reached for his hand, their fingers intertwining. "I think I was the lucky one getting you back in one piece." They sat quietly for a moment and then she asked, "Did your friend survive?"

Louis drifted in and out of consciousness over the next few days. He was vaguely aware he'd been rescued, that he was in hospital but he had no idea how badly he was injured. He kept seeing images of Jones and tried to push them from his mind. He didn't see how he could have survived, and in that state, he wasn't sure he would have wanted him to.

Days later the doctors had him sitting up.

"We'll get you transferred to a military hospital back in the States, we need all the beds we can get here." A quick glance around the ward at the other patients told Louis he was one of the more fortunate ones.

"I'm not going back?"

"Son you'll be lucky if you ever walk properly on that leg again. And that bullet to your chest, another inch to the left and you'd not be here."

Don't sugar coat it, Louis thought wryly. "There's a soldier, corporal Jones, do you know what happened to him?"

The doctor paused for a moment. "He's in the ward next door, I guess I could have a nurse get you a wheelchair and you can go see him."

Louis wasn't even sure if he wanted to but a wheelchair was brought for him before he could reconsider. The nurse wheeled him over to Jones's bed and he could see he had lost a leg. In the days prior, he'd tried to convince himself it was all a hallucination.

"You can stay for a couple of minutes, and then I'll be back," the nurse said giving him a moment of privacy.

"Hey Jones," he said trying not to look at the mess of his lower body, the remaining leg didn't look in great shape either.

Jones turned to look at him, his eyes dull. "Kinsella...I thought you were dead?" 

"Yeah, so did I. I still do, like maybe this hospital is purgatory or something."

"Have you seen my leg, what's left of it?" he said shifting uncomfortably.

"Well, you never did like riding those horses."

Jones gave a half-smile. "Nah that's true but I still want a cowgirl." He closed his eyes for a moment and the nurse reappeared telling Louis he'd have to leave.

"They're preparing him for surgery," she said as she wheeled Louis away.

"Why?"

"His other leg, it's badly infected, they have to amputate."

Louis felt his stomach lurch. "No, can't they can do something?"

The nurse looked at him and squeezed his shoulder. "I don't think he's going to make it anyway. I've been here a long time and I'm sorry to say it but there's no hope for him."

"So why the surgery?" he all but whispered.

"We have to try."

~~~

"I am so sorry," Charlotte said wrapping her arms around him. "But thank you for telling me."

"Hey, it's nothing," he said his voice muffled in her hair. "These things happen, like I said, I was lucky. I got transferred to a hospital back home and I was determined I was gonna walk again. Rehab wasn't great but I honestly think I wasn't as badly injured as they said." He tried to laugh, "I guess they wanted those beds."

"Is this why you avoided people for so long?" she asked looking up at him. 

"Yeah, I guess I did feel guilty that I survived, and then guilty that I recovered." He shrugged, "And you know me, I don't like to talk about myself."

"I understand, I don't like to talk about my past either. I think it's worse for you though, it's not just your friends and family who have an opinion, it's the whole country."

He nodded, thinking of the anti-war protesters who sometimes sounded more like they were attacking the soldiers themselves, rather than the people who were responsible for the war. "I'm used to it, I try not to let it get to me." She looked unconvinced. "I'm serious, Lottie. Since we've got back together, that's all behind me. It's another lifetime."

"I'm glad."

"Me too," he said clearing his throat. "And I've been thinking, about us? We should move in together, get our own place."

Her eyes widened. "But I only moved in here a few months ago."

"I know but you're renting and so am I," he said mentally calculating how much money they were wasting between them. " I think we should get our own place before the baby arrives."

She shuffled away from him. "I have a twelve-month lease, I can't move out yet."

"Okay," he said, telling himself not to be so pushy. "Why don't we look into it when your lease is up for renewal? We'll need more space when you have the baby." 

"I guess we could discuss it nearer the time if you still want to?" She gave him a half-smile. "When you're up to your eyes in diapers you might change your mind about living together."

"That's not gonna happen, you're stuck with me now."

She laughed, "You make it sound like a life sentence."

"I hope that it is."

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