"If a joke can't make you laugh again and again, then how can a pain make you cry again and again?"

~ Mein Serial

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As the day passed, there was silence all over. Everyone was busy with their work and there was no hint about Amira. Ali came home in the afternoon, feeling uneasy about the scene in the morning. Her tears were a hurtful scenario in his mind. Somewhere he regretted the harshness in his words about her. Ali went to his room directly. He didn't expect to see her there because she is never in the room, when he is present there. Ali looked for his dress on the bed, which he found there everyday after coming home, but didn't find it there. He opened his wardrobe and took a casual outfit out. He changed into a fresh pair of clothes, applying his perfume again and setting his hairs for the night out the youngsters planned upon. He went downstairs.

"Shall we leave?" Zain questioned. He nodded. He looked around to see if Amira was present there.

"What are you looking for?"

"Nothing Zain bhai. Is everyone ready?" He looked around once again.

"Nobody is missing!" Ali nodded at Sam's reply. They all left. They reached the restaurant. Their friends had joined them in. As Ali stepped into the vibrant restaurant, the lively chatter and clinking of glasses surrounded him, momentarily pushing away the weight of the morning's confrontation. His eyes searched the faces around him, scanning the room for a presence he refused to acknowledge was missing. The table was filled with friends and family, yet an inexplicable void lingered. The empty seat next to him echoed the absence of a person he never thought he would miss. Amira's tears and sobs which he had overlooked before – now echoed in the corners of his mind.

Zain noticed Ali's distracted gaze. "Everything okay, Ali?" he asked, concern etched on his face. Ali shook off his reverie, forcing a nonchalant smile. "Yeah, just tired from work. Let's enjoy the evening." The facade of normalcy clung to him as they settled at the table, the aroma of food mingling with the unspoken tension within him.

The night unfolded with laughter, shared stories, and the clinking of glasses, yet Ali's mind betrayed him. His eyes involuntarily scanned the room. He felt an unfamiliar void that took over the edges of his consciousness. As the night progressed, Ali found himself increasingly engrossed in a silent contemplation. He excused himself from the lively conversations, stepping outside for a breath of fresh air. The cool night breeze did little to stop the storm within him. Sam followed, concern etched on his face. "Ali, something is bothering you. Talk to me."

Ali hesitated, the weight of unspoken emotions pressing down on him. "It's just... Nothing.," he stopped himself, before blurting out anything. Sam's eyes narrowed with understanding. "You miss Amira?" Ali nodded in denial, the unspoken acknowledgment hanging heavily in the air. "Why would I miss her? I don't know why, but I feel weird. It's like there's a burden on me. Something I never faced before." Sam sighed at this statement. His answer was the reply to his question. He decided not to push Ali further, sensing the resistance. "Alright, let's head back in. Maybe some good food will lighten the mood."

Ali nodded in agreement, attempting to bury the unsettled feelings within him. They rejoined the lively atmosphere, but the unspoken void lingered, casting a subtle shadow over the night. The group enjoyed the evening, unaware of the silent storm brewing within Ali's heart. As the night came to an end, they bid farewell to their friends and headed back home.

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Diary Entry - [06.09.23]

Dear Diary,

The happening yesterday have been one of those days when the weight of my own existence feels almost unbearable. It's as if the world around me is conspiring to remind me of my place, a place where I'm neither seen nor heard. I crumbled under the weight of unspoken words and silent tears. Almost always it happens that my pain fades, as I write it out. Yet it did not happen. So let me try it again since today no new pain has joined. No new taunts, nothing.

The last morning started with the echoes of their arguments. Their voices, sharp and accusing, pierced through the walls and found their way into the fragile chambers of my heart. I tried to shield myself, to drown out the hurtful accusations, but the words clung to me like an indelible stain. As I stood there in the midst of their storm, I felt the gaze of judgment upon me. I am just an unwanted presence, an inconvenience in their truly perfect lives. Their words were a reminder that I was a choice made for convenience, not for love.

The afternoon was no different. The echoes of the morning continued to downgrade me in my own eyes, creating a huge noise of self-doubt. I tried to cut out my inner noise by going to the crowd in the mall but it did not seem to help either. The tears, uninvited and unwelcome, flowed freely, tracing the contours of my pain.

I find myself questioning my existence. Am I destined to be an outsider in the very place that should embrace me? Their expectations weigh heavily on my shoulders, and I fear I will never measure up. The dreams I once held close to my heart now seem like distant stars, out of reach and fading. The evening brought no difference. My solace, my books are not a help either to me. Their tales are burdening my heart even more. If only life could be this perfect.

I cannot escape the truth that is etched in the silence that fills the spaces between us. His absence, his indifference, cuts deeper than any spoken words. I am adrift, caught between the shards of shattered expectations. Tonight, as I lay in the bed, the pain of being unwanted echoes louder than ever. The tears, my silent companions, bear witness to the ache that resides within. I cling to the hope that tomorrow might bring solace, but tonight, I am engulfed in the shadows of my own despair. Sometimes I really question myself. If a joke can't make us laugh again and again, then how can a pain make us cry repeatedly? I should be used now to the fact that I am unwanted. Then why does it hurt? Sometimes I feel myself wondering if Ali is bothered by any of it. 

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