Tara spent the entire day locked in her room. On occasion, she looked at the doorknob and thought about shaking some sense into Jesse, but nerves kept her huddled in the bed or pacing to stretch her muscles. Some of it was physical therapy, since she was supposed to walk on her leg. They said nothing should tear now, but it still hurt like hell to put weight on it. It wasn't so bad in the bed, so she flopped there as the evening sun set behind heavy drapes on the western wall.

It was like that, with her face stuffed into her knees and the rest of her buried in comforters, that Silvia found her. The door opened and closed and magic flitted through the air, light but powerful as Silvia's was. Part of Tara wanted to ask about Jesse, about why he hadn't come for her in the last couple of hours, but the other half knew it was futile. Soon, she would cross into the void, and that would be the end of her life. It was better if Jesse thought of her as nothing.

"Hey." The bed dipped, and Tara lifted her swollen eyes reluctantly. She'd stopped crying an hour ago, but she always looked a mess for a while after.

"Can I ask you for a favor," Tara asked quietly, clenching her hands on her knees.

"Whatever you need." Silvia laid her hand on Tara's, and the vibration of light magic made her queasy despite how the gesture was meant to be comforting. The mage's skin was several shades darker against her pale skin, and it made her think of Jesse's smooth milk chocolate skin. Tears brimmed on her eyes, but she shoved them back in her tear ducts.

"He can't hear me, right?" Tara barely managed the words, but Silvia understood. Those deep, navy eyes were looking at her differently than they had the day prior. Perhaps she'd figured out that Jesse and she had shared more than just partnership as liaisons, or maybe it was just pity that she was about to die.

"Jesse passed out the moment you left him," Silvia let out a slow breath, and her face wilted. "They detained and tortured him in the Fleur dungeons for weeks, so he was lucky to be standing when he got here."

Tara felt like the worst person alive for how she'd treated him, but it didn't matter. "Don't tell him that I agreed to close the void with my life."

"If that's what you want." Silvia clenched her hand gently, lowering her eyebrows and sinking her lips lower.

"And when I'm gone, can you do that allure thing on Matt? The guy's a piece of work and I've never liked him, but he cares about me for some unfathomable reason. If I die in all this, it'll mess him up. Just make him believe I got a better job overseas or something. He's got a fiancé and a kid on the way to worry about. I should be nothing to him, but I'm not." The tears clawed their way back out of her eyes, and she sank her face into her crossed arms over her knees.

"We'd have sent him back already, but he refuses to leave you." Silvia ground out in annoyance that calmed Tara enough to lift her face and smile awkwardly. They shared a short defeated chuckle, but Tara's heart felt hollow. "We can find a way to close the tear without giving up your life, Tara. It's not worth it to us if we have to kill someone in the process. We were not told when instructed to find a medium that it would kill them."

"The longer it's open the more the risk grows, right?" Tara asked, but she knew. The moment Selena had torn the word asunder Tara had felt its effects. It had ripped out her insides and put them out on the ground without even touching her, and the ghastly things that crept out had given her a glimpse of what the world would be like when the scales tipped.

"Yes, but I'm not comfortable letting you bear that burden."

"I didn't ask you to be."

Silvia's frown crimped her face, and Tara knew she had an abrasive personality even without Matt being a jerk. "I've been alone before, Tara. I know what it's like to have no one and nothing and to feel like your life is slipping through your fingers. Neil was there for me when I thought there was nothing left, and I saw the way Jesse immediately listened and focused on you. If you throw your life away, he'll suffer just as much."

"Well, it's not his choice either," Tara pushed herself back into the pillows at the head of the bed to distance herself from Silvia, but the stubborn woman didn't budge. "Look, I'm not jumping up and down with excitement to die in excruciating pain, but you have children right?"

"Yes," Silvia answered curtly, as tight lipped about them as everyone else here. She'd been in the castle long enough to hear more about what was going on, and while no one said their names in her hearing, the twins were mentioned here and there.

"I was unable to save Selena from her own demons, but I can stop the repercussions. I know even if she doesn't make it back here, that she wouldn't want her parents sucked into a world of the living dead because she was frightened."

"Just like she wouldn't want you to die for the same reasons." Silvia tried again.

Tara's head fell back and she looked up at the canopy of the bed far too grand for someone like her. Maroon fabric draped overhead and sank down on both sides of the bed, but it was pulled back for a human like her. Tara imagined that tiny, white-haired vampire in this gigantic bed with the drapes pulled down and the windows shuttered so he could sleep in complete darkness. It was comical in a way, and Tara dropped her attention back to Silvia.

"Families shouldn't be torn apart." Tara relaxed into the cushions and gave Silvia the brittle smile she could manage. "My father disappeared when I was so young that all I can remember is his bright blond hair as he waved goodbye. Cancer took my mother not long after. She fought, for years to see me through high school, but she died not long after.

"You have a family, with parents who love their children, and children who shouldn't lose that. I lived my life, and even if I continued living it, I don't see my aspirations being anything more than trivial in comparison to the full life your children can have. This void, is just the next place I move onto, and honestly I wouldn't mind seeing my father and mother again. So while I don't relish running to my death, the alternative I'd have to bear with isn't any more appealing. I just ask you to respect my decision."

"Very well." Silvia stood from the bed, and dark circles shadowed her eyes. The woman was exhausted from all this, and yet she'd still taken time to try and help her. Silvia really was a good person, even if she'd inadvertently ended Jesse up in an unfortunate situation.

"Go get some sleep," Tara said, flopping on her side and pulling her covers up. "I need to pass out too."

Silvia blushed in embarrassment that Tara had noticed her exhaustion, but she nodded and headed out the door. The lights dimmed, and Tara flopped like a dead fish into the blankets. Maybe some sleep would take all of this away for whatever time she could manage. It was the best she could hope for.

Tara turned in the darkness, pissed that she couldn't get solid sleep and annoyed that she knew why. All she wanted was to find Jesse, hug him, and apologize for snapping at him. It wasn't his fault Dev had tortured and demeaned him for weeks. Anyone would come out of that a little messed up, and she hadn't been at all understanding. The frustration and hurt from being called nothing had driven her to do something cruel, and she wanted to pull him to her and tell him she hadn't meant it.

Maybe some water would help. Her throat was dry as a desert after she'd used all her body's moisture crying. She moved to lift the covers and her elbow recoiled after it touched a source of dark magic. It sizzled like oil popping over a frying pan, and she dropped her gaze to a mess of pitch hair spread out on the edge of the bed. Pain lurched in her heart as she could barely make out Jesse's dark skin with the light of the moon peeking in through the partially shaded window.

Crumpled on a chair pulled up next to her bed, he had his arms crossed on the bed and his face rested on a small pillow inside of them. Jesse had to be unconscious, because he didn't respond to her movement, and she slid her fingers to touch the ends of his hair where it rolled over his arm and snaked out into the blankets. When had he slipped into her room?

"Jesse," she whispered his name.

His eyes snapped open, glowing a deep blue in the darkness, but he didn't move. Drowsiness dragged his lids lower until only slits of blue remained, and his back rose and fell as he inhaled her scent before letting out a low groan into the blankets..

"You can hate me," a wisp of his voice uttered into the inside of his arms. "I just wanted to be by your side, and I'm too weak to move."

"Jesse, I don't hate you. I was upset because I've been so worried about you, and I said something I didn't mean." Tara threw the covers off and pushed them to the side of the bed. "Can you at least lie up here? That doesn't look at all comfortable."

"You don't want me in your bed." Jesse mumbled into the pillow under his face, still looking away from where she sat. Tara sighed as she watched him shrivel up physically and emotionally.

"I want you in my bed," Tara said as directly as possible.

It took a long moment of silence and the movement was slow, but Jesse tilted his head so that he could see her face. She patted the covers and scooted over, but he remained still in his chair. Jesse's nostrils flared as he breathed her in like he always did, and then ice touched the sides of her face. Tara nearly ate her tongue with how fast he'd moved. One moment he'd been in his chair barely looking at her, and the next he was lying on his side in the blankets with a foot between them and his hands cradling her face delicately.

Jesse continued to breathe, almost like he was a normal person, and Tara was losing the ability to do so evenly as those deep blue eyes examined every angle of her face. Cool fingers trailed down her cheek bones, curled her chin, and by the time he traced them down her throat, they'd heated to her skin. A trail of fire ran the curve of her neck, over the edge of her collarbone and stopped just above the juncture of her chest.

Ice licked across the inside of her knee so abruptly that she jumped, her heart pelting her chest unevenly. Jesse avoided her eyes as his fingers sank between her legs and crawled up the inside of her thigh, hiking her skirt in the process. By the time his warm fingers stopped between her legs to trace the scar there, Tara was glad the lights were off so the man couldn't see how much blood had rushed to her face.

"Someone hurt you," Jesse said into the sheets, his eyes still cast into them. Something kept him from looking at her, and she wanted to grab his chin and yank it over, but she needed to slow down and act calmly. If that was even possible with his hand wedged between her thighs. The guy was inspecting an injury he'd noticed earlier, but Tara was thinking about anything but that.

"The mages healed me. It's all right now."

"It affects your gait. You are not all right." Jesse snapped the words out as soon as she'd finished her sentence, and she flinched on the hard, dangerous tone. "Will you tell me who harmed you?"

Tara took in a deep breath and let it out slowly as she contemplated what Jesse was thinking. Based on the encounter with Matt, she knew the man wanted to destroy anyone who'd hurt her, but he was no match for Dev. Weeks in a dungeon had proved that, and she didn't want to worry him any more than necessary. Dev didn't even care about her existence anyway. Tara had put herself in front of his claws pushing Selena out of the way, or he'd never have acknowledged she was a living breathing being.

"You don't need to worry about it. I wasn't the intended target. I just got in the way. There is no one to mangle in some form of payback, okay?" Tara tried her best to divert Jesse's attention, but he didn't look satisfied with the answer. "I'd rather think about you than the past."

Jesse flicked his eyes up her, and by the way his body clenched, she got the idea that he was worried. What sort of response did he expect? Maybe apologizing and explaining that she hadn't meant her words wasn't enough. Would grabbing his face and pulling it into hers for a kiss be any better? A chuckle eased out of Jesse's lips, and she gasped for air as he slid his hand out from between her thighs.

"I'm sorry for earlier," Jesse whispered into the sheets, gliding the hand from her throat back to the side of her face. "I want you, you know I do, to sit like this with you every night and day, to steal and protect your most precious secrets and desires, but that is all it is. A selfish longing to possess you when I know I have nothing to offer in return."

Tara snorted a laugh, but had to stifle it when Jesse's expression crinkled like she'd slapped him. Man could she be any ruder to this exhausted, half-traumatized vampire?

"Jesse, I'm not shopping for some hot doctor boyfriend who pays my bills and has a penthouse and a yaht." Tara realized the meaning of that was half lost on Jesse, but he had to have gotten some of it.

"Being mine would threaten you with dangers you cannot fathom." Jesse spoke evenly, but she couldn't help but notice him move closer with a roll of his shoulders and a shifting on his legs. It drew her attention down to the nature of his dress, which was a black silk shirt opened down to near his groin, and she snapped her face back up from the way his jeans sculpted the front of him a little too much.

"I can say with confidence that I can fathom said dangers. More worried about the close and present danger. Did they put your clothes in the dryer on high heat or what?" Tara gestured to the aching shoulder seams and tight sleeves that sculpted his muscles. She wasn't sure if he moved to quickly if he might tear the shirt clear off.

Jesse tugged on the buttons of the shirt and rubbed his knuckles on his chest with a slow exhale of air. "My previous clothes were soiled and torn. Theses are the closest they had to my size, but I'm wider of shoulder than Damien Arc and a little bulkier around the waist and arms. They are what was on hand as most of my clothes are at the Fleur's castle." Jesse paused, his eyes narrowing as he took a deep inhale of breath again. It drew a blush to Tara's cheeks as a smile flitted on his expression. "If they are bothersome to you, I would happily remove them."

Jesse's fangs flashed in the darkness, and it relieving to see him really smile. Tears filled her eyes for the millionth time today, though this was in happiness because it was the first thing Jesse has said that was like the man she knew, or barely knew from the two days they'd interacted with each other. Before Jesse could apologize for something he hadn't done, Tara grabbed his face and pulled him in. Ice met her lips as she kissed him, and he needed no prodding to reciprocate, languidly, until his skin warmed on hers.

Jesse shifted as soon as their lips touched, and Tara exhaled breath forcefully as his weight came down on top of her. At least two hundred pounds of raw muscle pinned her to the bed, and she couldn't catch her breath as he fished his tongue into her lips to scour the inside of her mouth. Tara wanted to push back with her own and fight for control, but instead, she pressed a hand to his chest and turned to the side for air. Jesse was too damn heavy and squishing the life out of her.

"Sorry," Jesse said not at all apologetically as he moved to release some of the pressure. His solution was to part her legs, opening them so wide that her skirt was practically a belt, and rest himself between them. "Any better?"

With a dark chuckle, he rolled his hips against her core, but she was focused on his pitch hair draping onto her neck and grazing the sides of her face while he bored those glowing sapphire eyes into hers. They captured her, like a deer in front of the most magnificent pair of headlights. She knew he was about to run her down, but she couldn't move nor did she want to.

Jesse's eyes abruptly lost focus, and she felt like he was staring through her as a rumble escaped him and his fangs lengthened. They were on her throat with the speed of a striking cobra, and Tara froze for a few reasons. One was the thumb jammed into her chin bone to lock her face in place, and the other was his mouth clenched on her neck so tightly that if she so much as flinched fangs would slice her skin.

"I should not have come here," Jesse breathed onto her neck as he managed to unhinge his fangs for a mere second. That was as far as he got, because not a moment later, his lips wrapped her throat and he sucked on the skin with urgency. "I can't stop, but if you scream, someone will stop me." Jesse barely managed the words before he slid a hand up into her hair, threading his fingers with the long, golden strands, and buried his fangs in her throat.

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