I'm probably going to say this a million times more so I apologize in advance. Through out my art class I couldn't stop thinking about Jesse. I really think he wanted something out of me.

But what if he actually likes you for you? You're gonna feel like an idiot!

But what if you're wrong? What if he doesn't?

Oh great. Those voices in my head were brain washing me again. I remember now. I remember that these voices and thoughts go through my head and I'd lock myself in my room and try to block them out with either music or just cry. I've had these terrible thoughts and voices since I was 12. I don't why but I just have them. I feel like they should be gone by now but they're not. I don't know why.
But it's torturous to go through with that everyday of your life. You never know which side to believe.

Or which side to slap first.

"That's very good." Mr. Smith said behind me. I jumped in my sit a little. "Didn't mean to scare you, Jean."

"You're fine." I said, doing the finishing touches on my lantern.

"I like this a lot. It looks like you put a lot of effort into it. Good job!" He said.

"Thanks."

Suddenly there was a knock on the door behind me.

"Hiya Mr. Smith!" A male voice said cheerfully.

"Oh boy," Mr. Smith sighed in annoyance. "Hi Jesse."

I think my head spun all the way around to see the most cutest guy ever.

How are you today?" He asked.

"I'm fine, Jesse. How are you?" He said mournfully.

"I'm doing great, Mr. Smith!"

"Jesse, why are you here?" He asked.

"Aren't you happy to see me?"

"Jesse, in all of my years of teaching I hoped to never have you step foot in my class again."

"Well lucky for you, I'm here for someone else. She's my partner in English and I need her."

Jesse looked over at me. I looked back down at my finished lantern.

"There she is!" He came over to me. "I promise I won't be as disruptive as I was last year. And when you gave me a detention."

"What ever. Just sit down." He rolled his eyes.

Jesse came over to the table and sat next to me.

"Hi there!" Jesse smiled at me. "Waddup?"

"What're you doing here?" I asked. "We don't have an English project."

"Obviously I lied about the project. I just wanted to see you. But why are you so suspicious?"

Because you obviously want something from me!

I couldn't tell him why. Then he'll be an asshole  to me or he'll pretend like he doesn't. I didn't know which one is worse.

"N-no reason. Nice to see you came down. I'm done anyway." I said.

"Oh cool. What did you make? A lantern?"

"Yeah. As you can probably tell by my beat up, torn and calluses covered finger tips I've been working on its wires for a while." I said showing him my calluses.

He grabbed my hand. I tensed up a little.

"Those are some nice calluses you got. Do you also play on the monkey bars?" He asked.

What is he? Psychic?

"Uh-yeah I used to when I was little. How'd you know?" I said.

He showed me his hand.

"I got those a few years ago. Monkey bars are my favorite part of playgrounds. What's yours?"

That's an odd question but whatever.

"Probably the monkey bars. But I really like the swings too. But if I had to choose one it'd be the monkey bars." I said. "I like climbing."

"Me too." He smiled letting go of my hand. "So how are you today?"

I was in no mood to answer this. Plus we're not at counseling.

"Fine."

Biggest lie ever told.

"How are you?" I asked.

"Wonderful!"

"Why so happy?"

"I'm sitting next to a really cute girl."

I looked around behind me.

"I'm talking about you, Jean." Jesse said

I laughed nervously showing off my crooked front tooth in my smile.

"Y-you think I'm cute?"

"Yeah. I told you in the hallway. I said you were cute and smart in French. You don't understand pick up lines very well, do you?"

"I guess not. I'm pretty dumb." I said.

"Oh-no I didn't mean it like that! It was a joke." Jesse defended.

"No Jesse I know." I said. "But I am pretty dumb though."

"No you're not. You don't seem it. If anyone's dumb it's me. You're probably thinking that you're too good for me."

I'm thinking the complete opposite.

Correction: you're too good for me.

"Eh not exactly what I'm thinking but sure?" I said.

"What're you thinking then?" He asked.

I can't tell you without you getting weirded out. And without me feeling like an idiot.

"Nothing. Never mind." I said getting up an putting my lantern on a cart next to Mr. Smith's desk.

I am such an idiot!

I wish I could tell him how I really feel.....

~~~~~~

"So how was school today?" Ramona said as we drove down Chestnut Avenue.

"Normal. I guess." I said staring out the window.

The way I looked at Jesse; it was like watching a dramatic movie in slow motion. The way his eyes glimmered when he looked at me, the way his long wavy beach hair bounced a little when he ran, how sweet he was, how his nose wrinkled when he laughed, and how absolutely stunning he looked when ever he smiled.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"Nothing."

"You're like staring out the window a lot. I don't think you looked anywhere else since we got in the car." She said. "Come on tell me."

"Well....."

"I knew it! So tell me! What happened?"

"Well," I began. I think I could trust Ramona. "There's this boy...."

She stopped the car right in the middle of traffic! Good thing we were at a stop light.

"Oh my god!" She squealed. "Who is it?"

"Jesse Hathaway. He's from my community counseling." I said.

"Oh yeah I think I remember Beth saying something about you making a new friend or what ever." She said.

"I really like him." I said.

"Then you should go for him!"

"I can't."

"Why not?? I would totally ship you guys!!" She wined.

Please don't.

"Because Beth would flip out!" I said. "'You're too young to date!' 'You're gonna get pressured!' 'Don't have sex because you'll get herpes and die!'"

"She would not say those things. Except maybe the one where you're too young to date. That one I think she would say, but the rest of them, no." She explained laughing a little, as the light turned green.

"Yeah right." I said. "Look could you not tell her any of this please? I don't want her getting freaked out."

"I won't. But if she asks I'm not gonna lie to her."

"Ramona please?!"

"Jean, I don't lie. You know that. I highly doubt that it'll come up but I won't say anything. Unless she asks me. You don't need to worry. Okay?"

"Okay....." I sighed.

Ramona turned right in the direction of where our road was and we were home.

~~~~~~

We settled in for about 3 hours later until Beth came home from work.

"Hey Beth!" Ramona said from the living room.

"Hi." She huffed.

"How was work?" Ramona asked as Beth came in the living room looking like she just got out of a concentration camp.

"Great, some kid called me sir. I told my boss I was never wearing that again and she flipped shit on me." She said annoyed.

"Sorry about that. You wanna talk about it?"

"No that's okay. How was school?"

"Good. I got another B on my math quiz."

"That's great! That'll be the highlight of my crappy day. I'm so proud of you."

Uh.....do I exist?

"And how was school for you, Jean?" She asked as looked directly into my soul.

"Fine." I said, getting up and heading into my room.

I really hope Ramona doesn't tell Beth anything about Jesse.

That would definitely ruin my life!