That was a month ago. It was a month ago when I found my mother had died. So what happened to me was that she took me on a motorcycle ride on the highway and this huge semi truck didn't see us and had crashed right into us. My mom was crushed to death and I have no clue how I'm still alive.  I was pretty beaten up in the last few weeks. I have very little memory of her. I don't even remember what she was like. I also feel like I lost something I once had. But I don't remember what it was. Overtime, I lost my desire to do the things I remembered that I like to do like draw, write books, design posters of things I obsess over and read; you know, standard teenage girl behavior.

My oldest sister, who I'm calling Beth instead of Elizabeth, made an appointment for me with a community counseling group. It's where a counselor is with a group of kids around my age and we all admit our problems and I guess we're supposed to connect with each other and then the counselor tries try to fix our problems. I think it's a little embarrassing to go to because you're un-bottling your feelings in front of a bunch of random people you don't know. But I suppose it's kind of good too because if people have a hard time talking about their feelings, this can help them. I think it's hard to talk about your feelings in front of a large group of random strangers with the possibility of being judged.

I don't like admitting feelings to anyone.

"I can't believe you're making me go to this." I said to Beth in the parking lot of the community counseling building.

"Jean, you've been miserable for the past six weeks. You smell like a locker room because you've been nowhere but the house. You need to get socialized. Think of it like this, the kids in there have the same problems as you."

"Yeah all of those kids had memory loss and their mom was crushed by a truck. I can't wait to relate to all of them." Jeez, I'm a pretty sarcastic person.

"No, Jean you have depression. You've never been the most social person, but even before this whole mess happened you were a little more social than this. You'll be able to relate to each other, you'll make new friends and your problems will be a little more easier to handle. You can either sit at home and sit in the pile of shit that you're in and complain or you can go and get the help that you need that's literally right in front of you. I'm not forcing to do anything but I'm not moving this car anywhere until you go in there and at least give it a try." She explained.

I decided to give it a try. But I wasn't going to like it very much.

"Fine, I'll go." I said getting out of the car.

"You have your phone, right?" She asked.

"Yeah." I said pulling it out of my back pocket.

"Okay. Call me when it's over and I'll come pick you up, alright?"

"Kay." I groaned, heading in the building.

"Make some friends! Go have fun!" She shouted from the window.

I gave her a fake smile and a thumbs up before I went through the doors.

I eventually found the room I was supposed to be in. It looked like an old kindergarten room with a bunch of misfit teenagers sitting in a circle, looking like they were doing some kind of ritual. There couldn't be more than at least fifteen kids and there was the counselor sitting in front of the kids. He turned and looked at me along with the other kids.

"Am I too late?" I asked.

"No no we're just getting started. You must be our new patient! Come in, come in and sit down!" He said happily.

I noticed that he had these thick black framed glasses and brown eyes. He had an energetic and fun personality and he dressed like a sophisticated business man. He kind of reminded me of Phil Dunphy....

I went over and sat next to a girl with extremely long brown hair and blue eyes and a boy with shaggy hair and green eyes.

"Now to begin, let's introduce ourselves and explain why we're here." He explained, folding his hands together. "I'm Mr. Sherry. I've been an adult and children's counselor for 12 years and I've gotten to know so many bright and creative students such as yourselves. I'm happily married to my wife, and I have two daughters and a son on the way."

He pointed to a short blonde girl. She had a braid in the back of her hair.

"And you are?" He asked politely.

"Allison Miller." She spoke softly.

"Okay Allison tell us a little about yourself." He grinned.

"Well, I'm 13 almost 14. I like cats and my mom made me come here because I get really bad anxiety over everything."

"Okay, red head." He pointed to a red haired girl.

"My name's Anna Conners and I'm 16. I participate in Dance Arts down by Main Street and I'm here today because I've gotten so nervous on stage for the past few months that it's become a problem and my parents wanted me to get it over it." She said twiddling her thumbs.

"Alright, you, shaggy." He pointed to the boy with the shaggy hair next to me.

"Okay um....my name's Jesse Hathaway and I'm 17 almost 18. I'm here today because of various reasons. All my mom said that I should be more social and get out of the house more. But I think I'm fine actually."

"Well it's always to come here and be with people who love you."

'People who love you'? We just met them 2 minutes ago!

"I guess so...." He scoffed.

"What about you?" He pointed to me.

"Uh...My name's Jean Sanchez. I'm 16 almost 17. I'm here because I recently had physical and emotional trauma. My mom recently died from a motorcycle crash that I was involved in and I have no idea how I'm alive. My sister says I have depression and she wants to try to get me socialized again. I don't really want to be here, no offense, but right now I just really want to sulk in my hidey hole of a room." I explained.

"Good lord! I don't think I've ever heard a story like yours, Jean. But it's great that your sister is looking out for your health. It shows she loves you very much. It's not good to be excluded from people your whole life. Especially at a time like this. Did your father sign you up for this?" He asked.

"I don't know where my dad is." I said, looking off to the side of the room awkwardly. I actually don't know where my father is.

"Oh, well I'm sorry to hear that. But like I said to Jesse, it's good to get out and be with people who love you." He said.

"You mean here?" I said as I raised an eyebrow.

"Yes."

"But we just met like 2 minutes ago." I pointed out.

"I know but we're not here to judge each other. We all have our own stories. We're here to listen and help because we care."

"But I barely know these people."

He laughed awkwardly. "I see you're kind of a defensive person. But I don't want you to think that it's a bad thing. This is a place of love and acceptance. It doesn't matter whether you know anyone or not. In fact, no judging is our number one rule."

"Great." I said.

"Okay who's next? You." He pointed to the girl next to me.

"Alright then. My name's Kendra Shay and I'm 16. I'm here today because I had an outburst during one of my classes on school. These three girls in my grade were teasing me because I never talk. Usually when ever I get called on I get the answer wrong and I get laughed at. Last week, I just got tired of it and I flipped out on them and got in a fight with one of the girls. My parents think I'm troubled so they signed me up for this."

"Oh. Well then this will be good for you. Then this will be a good day to do a little bit of a lesson on psychology on why people do these sort of things to others."

~~~~~~

The rest of the counseling went by sort of fast. We finished introducing ourselves and he explained the psychology lesson for us. Not going to lie, but I actually didn't mind it. I actually learned something today. We had a little bit of time left over after that to socialize with the other kids. I called Beth to come get me so I just waited by the door waiting for her.

"Didn't seem to enjoy your first time here, did you?" A male voice spoke behind me.

I turned to see who it was. It was Jesse Hathaway, the boy I say next to. Now that I've gotten physically closer to him I've noticed more details. He had long golden brown that ended at the nape of his neck. It had a nice wavy shape to it and it was thick and fluffy like waffles. He had pretty hazel green eyes. He had to be at least 5'9, which was way  taller than me because I'm 5'1. He wore this black hoodie and dark blue jeans and wore converse.

Just like I do.

"I mean, it was okay, I actually didn't mind it. I just don't like opening up to people." I said.

"Welcome to the club. A lot of so called 'troubled kids', which is us, come here and talk about what we're going through. Well this is what the adults think; they think we're like some sort of mental kids who seek any kind of attention when all we want is for someone to care and not leave us." Jesse said.

Oh my god he read my mind.

"You know what I mean?"

"I know exactly what you mean." I said. "I think that's what everyone wants. I know I sure do."

"I'm Jesse by the way."

"I know, I-I mean, I'm Jean."

He laughed. He shook my hand. His hand was so soft.

"I know." He smiled. "Who's picking you up?"

"My sister Beth." I said.

"Oh, nice." He said awkwardly. "Hey what school do you go to?"

"Coudersport Pennsylvania. Why?"

"I go there too." He said. "That's so weird because I think I'd remember seeing a face like yours." He smiled. "What grade are you in?"

"I'm a junior."

"Ah so that's why I haven't seen a face like yours. You're a grade below me. I'm a senior."

I suddenly felt this wave of hotness on my face and I couldn't stop smiling.

I have no clue what to do or say.

"Uh, thanks," I said nervously.

Why am I so nervous??? He's just a boy!

"No problem." He peered over my shoulder as he heard a beep from outside. "I think your ride's here."

I looked behind me. It was our silver car with Beth inside it looking at me.

"Oh yeah. I guess it is." I said a little sadly. "I'll see ya in school."

"Jean, wait!" He said. I turned around. "It was nice meeting you."

I suddenly had this satisfying feeling in my gut like I had just swallowed some hot chocolate.

"You too, Jesse." I said waving.

~~~~~~

I got in the front seat of the car and Beth started asking a bunch of questions.

"Why is your face red?" She asked.

"I don't know!" I snipped. "I got really hot all of the sudden when I started talking to him." I pointed to Jesse.

"The shaggy haired kid?" She asked.

"Yeah, Jesse Hathaway. He's a senior at my school. C-Can we go home now? I don't think I feel well."

"Ah, now I think I know why you feel hot. You're blushing." She started to laugh a bit.

"No??"

"Oh my god, you like him! How cute! Your first crush!"

"Stop it! Take me home!"

I wanted to die on the whole car ride home.