Odessa

You never know what can happen in life until it actually happens.
No one ever thought that we would crash into the lake; no one thought Gerard would die.
We are so convinced that this meagre of life will continue forever that there is nothing that can stop us until finally the light turns off for good and there's no turning back.

As I sit by the window, a cold harsh breeze blows causing my hair to blow back, but I don't care. I don't budge as I sit, contemplating about everything that has happened.
My mind has become so cloudy I can't handle it. First with the secret letter, then Astra's words and now James' frequent panic attacks.
It seems I have been living in my own little world to even think about anyone else.

Why am I so selfish and cruel? Why can't I be like the other brother I once had; the one who was understanding and appreciative.
Why can't my thoughts just go away and leave me be. I wish I could turn them all off and start afresh, forget about the past month and just start again. It's just that simple.

I don't look to see who enters, I know straight away who it is by the sound of their thumping footsteps.

"I honestly don't feel in the mood for tea" I say still staring out at the dark grey malevolent clouds. "I'm not here for tea m'dear. I'm here to ask if you are alright"

"I'm fine Alexander" I say instantly, not turning back.
He lets out a sigh and I can imagine him brushing back his ruffled hair, his usual trait whenever he is annoyed at me. He slowly steps forward pulling a chair beside mine. "I know you well enough to know when you're not okay" he smiles but I simply stare up while my fingers play at my blue day dress pleats folded numerous times.

"Please tell me, what is going on-"

"Is it true? That there are secret spies in the castle" I cut him off, my voice bleak as I stare out, noticing a few raindrops splatter on the window pane.

He doesn't know how to react. He stares at me with raised eyebrows and a deep set crease on his forehead. "Who told you such a thing?" He asks baffled, slouching forward.

I simply shrug lying "An Erivale magazine gossip column" Now I look at him. "There's no need to fret Alexander, I was just simply asking as a curious adolescent"

Instantly he looks relieved as he slowly sits back. "You shouldn't depend on those silly gossip columns my dear"

"Oh, I suppose you're right" I reply flatly, not really in the mood to say more. As I sit back against the padded upholstered chair, I allow myself to get lost in my own world as it devours me into a chaotic spiral. I grip tightly to the slender arms, allowing my nails dig into the mahogany wood.

I can't help myself but relive the sharp touch of Nicolai slender hands creep up against my bare skin or Astra's look of fear when she told me what she knew.

I still can't stop thinking of James' heavy breathy and salty tears as he crumbled right in front of me...all over a piece of ripped paper.

"....Odessa? Are you alright?" Finally I snap back to reality.
I quickly flick a piece of hair back and swallow a deep lump in my throat. "Of course I'm fine Alexander, could I just have a bit of privacy. I think I must lie down for a bit"

"I'm afraid that is prohibited at this time dear" Instantly I shot up a stare.

"What I actually came in here to tell you was that you are suppose to be dressed for a special family dinner"

I can't help but exaggeratedly roll my eyes. "What's the excuse this time?"

"I believe your Father wants to catch up with you all, the past few days have been quite stressful"

"Of course they have" I mutter, folding my arms not daring to move.
"Can't I just say I'm sick and not attend?!" At this stage I'd rather stay in bed forever than go down and act as a happy family.

"I'm afraid you are acquired to attend. It's half five now, I believe you only have a hour to get changed and prepped. Come along dear" He taps my shoulder but I only answer by slumping forward huffing.

He gets up and pulls out a grey suit cover, gingerly he pulls down the zip to lure me to him. I am intrigued to see what attire I have but I protest. He knows me too well to know I do love seeing new dresses but today I refuse to give in. He is hesitant and pulls more slowly, being dilatory in the process.

I know what he is doing but I only grit my teeth and stare out. Finally the zip stops to a halt and I hear ruffling. Judging by the commotion it seems to be a long dress as he struggles to take it out. I turn my eye to get a peek but I know that won't do the trick.
Tasting defeat I spin around, but as I soon as I turn, I am left with my jaw hanging down.

Before me hangs a deep tie dyed like plum coloured dress.
What makes it so special is the microscopic detail set in of magenta dye trailing to create an infusion of vivid colours. I can't help but admire the tight fit black belt which will show off my figure and the long slit along the right side.

"I knew you would like it. You always love new dresses!"

I can't help but fight the urge to spring up from my chair and let my fingers feel the soft brushed material. I am awe stricken, unable to fathom words to describe how I feel. It is as though the dress has lifted away all my problems, well for now anyways, but still, it is so beautiful I adore it.

"Come on then, get changed and I'll bring up the maids to assist with your hair and makeup" he smiles, handing me the dress. As he steps towards the door I can't help but say "Thank you Alexander" to which he turns around and voices softly "Anything for you my dear"

Once he closes the door I start giggling like a schoolgirl, unable to grasp the emotions colliding together as I slowly dance around the room.

No matter what, I will be the best dressed in the whole room tonight and no one will stop me from looking my best.

* * * *

It is no time before I am fully dressed and ready to make my way down to the dining room.
Dressed in a surprisingly comfortable plum dyed attire with matching heels and jewellery, I strut down the stairs, my hair hanging loosely in neat curls sprayed to stay perfect for the entire night.
I allowed the maids to place a sangria coloured lips with a light smoky eye and deep curled lashes to accompany my look. I must admit the dark lips aren't too deep against my pale complexion but they set the right attention, the attention I need for tonight.

I make my way down the long flight of never ending stairs to only hear the rushed action behind me. I turn to see James breathless and puffy as he rushes down the stairs to me.
"Are you alright?" I can only joke, still a little bit concerned for him after our previous encounter.

"Y-yes...I-I'm fine.." He puffs, trying to catch his breath. I feel his tie is too tight as his face is as red as a raspberry. I pull gently and he seems relieved. Looking dashing in a black tuxedo with sleeked back hair he finally slows his breathing and his colour comes back to normal.

I allow him to link my arm around him as he breaths "Thank you...I was only turned about this twenty minutes ago so I had to get changed quickly. I was up in the chamber room all day writing reports"

"How are you feeling now?" I inquire as we move down together one step at a time. He ponders before he simply says "Oh fine" I don't dare to probe more into his personal life as I smile at him. "I'm glad you're alright now"

Finally we make it down the stairs and now we can hear the echoes in the dining room as laughter erupts. "Well they are seem to be having a good time" James utters as we walk together.
"Can't we just run back up to our rooms and hide?" I joke hoping he'll understand my humour. He does as he laughs quietly, replying "I know how you feel but we have to make an effort" He tugs at my arm playfully. "Plus we're dressed too well to not show the others" I can only smirk. "I suppose you're right"

We make our way to the large dining room, more laughter and fun echoing. I can hear Father's loud booming of laughter erupt but the others are mysterious.

As we enter arm in arm, I take a deep breath before we enter under the bright chandelier lighting to the long dark oak table.

Unfamiliar faces appear all chugging down wine generously and snacking on small platters. I can see the children smiling and playing together with Mother talking to a woman with rich long black hair. Her complexion looks so familiar but I can't put a name to this person.

We stand gathering ourselves before we are noticed. Mother stares agape at her two dashing children.

"Ah Odessa and James! Perfect timing!" Father cheers as he gulps down a scotch.. He turns again to the man sitting beside him, wearing a suit covered in medals and sashes. My heart skips a beat when the man stares at us.

Before I can even grasp what is happening, a tall figure enters the room holding two bottles of fine wine. "I could only find these two beauties, I hope they are to your taste"

I can't help but tug on James' sleeves but he recognises the person too.

Standing before me in a grey suit with a dashing smile is no other than Prince Nicolai of the Southern Isles.

My breathing hitched as I stand at the door, Mother and Queen Isabella both lost in their own little world laughing and possibly discussing the pregnancy. Father and King Fernando sit drinking scotch acting like great friends.

He turns and catches my look of horror, and for a second I think I see a sinister deep smile appear on his small snotty face.

"Those two are fine Nicolai, come sit down Odessa and James, you can't stand there forever" Father and King Fernando laugh.

My legs have become frozen stiff and I cannot move. It seems the whole world has stopped. I can't breathe. I can't be here with that monster. Not now, not never. James can't help it but drag me along, not causing a scene as I focus on trying to breathe again, my throat filling with saliva and sour bile.

I sit across from him, his eyes eyeing my every moment. James sits beside me, keeping a sharp eye at Nicolai who has a sly smirk on his face. I don't dare to look up as I stay distracted by fidgeting with my bracelet.

My hands tremble furiously, I can't even manage to pick up my cutlery, let alone eat. None of this is right. How could of this have happened. How did I not know this would happen? I should have prepared myself for this.

"So James your father has told me you have caught up with your reports" Nicolai tries to make conversation. I eye James who grits his teeth. "Yes I have. So many interesting things have occurred, such things you wouldn't understand"

"James!" Father hisses. "We haven't even started eating and you're already snarling!" but Nicolai only lifts up a hand. "It's alright Henry, I can handle this"

Henry?!  How does this brutal beast have the right to call my Father by his first name? No one gets that respect; note even his own flesh and blood.

When he speaks I can't help but jump.

"I know the Southern Isles have different culture and historical regiments compared to Erivale, which is why I hope to learn more and more about your fantastic home"
James only looks down at the table as he replies a bit too sarcastically. "That would be fantastic"

Nicolai doesn't notice as he simply smiles. I feel stared down by all four corners. I have my shoulders arched back as perfectly as I can as I try to control my stifle breathing. I flinch when I hear his voice address me. "How are you Odessa?"

How am I feeling?! That's all he can say to me after everything he has done. I stare up to see him staring at me deeply, his pool of cobalt blue eyes showing a hint of deep profound affection. It stirs inside of me as he bits slowly on his bottom lip.

Oh god. This can't be happening. But it is. It feels I am falling back into the clutches of Nicolai.

I fumble for words, my tongue becoming dry. "I'm great thanks"

Great?! Out of all words I choose great?! Could great be the right word to describe the past month of torture?! Of course not!

I bit down on my tongue as I allow my hands to adjust the top of my dress. Instantly he notices as he comments. "You look fantastic Odessa, like always"

An urge fills me, an urge I can't describe. It fills me with dread and deep empathy as my stomach can't handle it all, causing me to feel deep nausea. I try to force it away but placing a hand on my stomach.

I focus on the children, all dressed elegantly and simple as they giggle and laugh at the far side, not focusing on the still tension in the air. I can't pretend to not yearn to not be a child again, to not have this responsibility and agony as I mature.
Rosa catches my eye as she smiles softly, her hair combed back showing bright emerald earrings which match her silky dress. She still knows my little secret and thankfully she hasn't told anyone. It seems she too is maturing to become a young princess who knows the upper hand to be obedient, something I wish I learned.

At once butlers and maids come in removing the small appetisers and placing large quantities of roast beef and bowls filled to the brim with a multiple choice of vegetables, but looking at this food I don't feel in the mood to even touch it.

Immediately Queen Isabella pipes up "I am starving!" to which everyone laughs.

It seems Mother and Father have gotten quite close to the Southern Isles royal family. They laugh and joke as if they knew each other for ages. I can't help but feel my blood boiling knowing they have simply forgotten everything that has happened, it seems they are turning a blind eye to the incident that ruined me.

Dinner goes with every blinking moment as time passes ever so slowly. I have only played around with a few pieces of carrot and broccoli, not really in the mood for eating. I can't stop checking to see if Nicolai is watching me. It seems paranoia is taking up as I can't focus on anything.

I notice his eating, how he carefully craves his vegetable and then eat each small bite one by one, savouring each taste as if it's his last meal. To think those lips gripped me leaves me wanting to get sick.

Father pours himself another glass of pure scotch as he babbles "So Nicolai, I hear you are quite busy with your duties" at this he eyes James. "So do tell me, how busy you are"

He coughs and wipes his lips with is napkin before he begins. "Well lately I've been helping father tackle our main issues to serve our people but it seems I have been distracted.."

"Oh, distracted, do tell" He takes another sip. I swear this is his fifth glass in the past hour.

Nicolai stares at me before he coughs to begins. Shivers crawl down my skin. I want to look away but his look leaves me lusting for more and more. My sick addiction is haunting me ever since that night.

He glances towards me before fidgeting in his seat. Slowly he gets up. Oh thank god. I let out a tight breathe. He's probably going to the bathroom. But no, he jumps to his feet so fast he almost knocks the chair over.

He turns right and walks towards the end of the table, reaching into his pocket. Then it hits me. He's walking to me. He's actually daring to step close to me.

He's breaking my personal space with each step.
My breathing quickens as my hands quiver. If he's coming to me, what is he up to?

This can't be what it seems.

He stops down beside me and pulls out my chair. I can't stop as I place my hands underneath my legs to stop my shaking as I sit in front of him. I make sure my dress covers my legs in case he gets any ideas.

Slowly he drops down to one knee at my side. He takes my right hand and reveals a small box in his hand.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

This can't be happening.

Not here, not now, not ever.

"I don't know what to say. I practised but....how do you tell someone who takes your breath away in ways they'll never know? How do you tell someone that I love so deeply how I feel? I want to be with you for the rest of my life Odessa. I never thought this was something I needed. But it is. It really is. With you."

"Nicolai..." I start. I can't grasp what is happening. It feels like I have fallen off the planet while it keeps on spinning on its axis. I can't breathe. I can't think straight. I don't know what to do.

It feels as if we are the only two in the room as Nicolai glances up at me. "Open it"

I look down at the simple box. It's grey felt stimulates my skin as I open up the box. There sits a diamond ring inlaid on the top.

This looks like an actual engagement ring. An engagement ring for me.

"I had them engraved" he says. I swallow hard. I reach down with a shaky hand to the ring and lift it. Inside, in neat block letters reads.
To My Soulmate.

I can only let out a cracked voice. The words come jumbled at one, a nonsensical grunt or a whimper and Nicolai only smiles.

"Marry me?"

So many thoughts spiral through my head.
No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. This can't be happening. Not here, not now, not ever.
No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

But my voice strangles out the unthinkable.

"Yes"

6kl

I do hope you like this huge plot twist (Mwahahahhahahha)