Odessa

How dare he betray me like that.
Out of all things to do, he does that in front of the whole nation.

Mascara stained tears stream down my face as I rush back to my room. Horrid memories of that night flood back into my mind as I pull up my dress and scramble down the stairs. His touch, his forceful tone, everything about that night makes me regret everything.

How could I have been so gullible and let that beast come into my life.
Even after everything that happened he would publicly humiliate me.
I thought I trusted him.

It looks like I can never trust a man ever again.

As I turn open my door handle, tears stream down my hot cheeks. I cannot see by my blurred vision but I know Alexander is there.
Straight away I rush into his arms and sob "How could he do this to me"
He soothes me with a gentle touch as he places a hand on the small of my back and the other on the back of my head.
"I know it is hard Odessa but honestly even watching it, it looks like James was struggling too"

"I don't want to hear his name" I grunt. "The public think I'm the bad guy when really I was the victim. He shouldn't have done that! He was there, he saw it with his own two eyes!" A strangle cry escapes as I place my head close to his chest. I let my sobs drawl out of my system as Alexander continues to hold me in his arms.

When the time is right I let go and smile through my tears.
"Could you help me out of this blasted dress, I can't breathe!" He helps assist me as he zips down my pale fuscia pink tight fitted retire.
Once I step out of it he helps untie my cream corset. It's part of my ritual for any occasion, even dinner.
Mother insisted once I turned fifteen I should start to wear it as my stomach is too big for my dresses.
I should be use to her harsh comments and the sensation of its tightness but even loosening it now I let out a huge sigh of relief.

Alexander helps me into my cotton nightgown and unravels my high up styled hair, pulling the endless pins stuck in my head.
It's nice to have someone like Alexander especially in these moments. Cleansing my face and untuckibg my quilt, I am put into bed with a gentle goodnight kiss.
"Sleep tight and don't let tonight get to you"
I whisper thank you and it isn't long before I drift off to sleep.

* * * * * *

I wake up with a fright.
Another nightmare. The hairs on my skin tremor as I try to breath properly from my sudden spring up from slumber.
Not another nightmare. Not another frightening demon taking over my mind. I don't need this, not now, not ever.

I bend over to look at my alarm clock. It flashes 10:49pm.
That's odd. I swore by the time I was up after the report it was past midnight.

Groggily I rub my temples and my tender eyes while I roll out of bed. Putting on my slippers, I grab a book and head towards the balcony. Getting a bit of fresh air might do the trick.

As I open up the doors, twinkling stars glisten up in an ominous surge of deep indigo sky. I am amazed by its true beauty as I gaze up. It is always the little things that amaze me.
Even looking out at the outstretched before me, I can see the garden footpaths that intertwine in swirls and the flower beds that efflorescence with fine blossoms. Out stretch mountains in the clearing and in the corner of my eye I can the forest, an abundance of trees all in a shady burgundy like colour under the moonlight.

Staring towards it, I yearn to venture out one last time and experience the feeling of adrenaline pumping around my blood. I need something like that to jumpstart my heart again.
If only I could go without any more commotion.

I laugh to myself at how ridiculous the idea is. I should just go back to bed and simply dream about it, in a world where Nicolai and James don't exist.

As I ponder in the cold, I am about to turn around when I notice a torch shining around the corner. Clutching my book, I crouch down and watch the shadow merge through the pillars. The shadow creeps forward until he stops underneath my balcony.
I breathe in the cold crisp air as the stranger stands before me.

There are never guards around here, always a few at the front and back, never at the side. It feels strange to see this abdominal figure approach this way.
Then, I start to panic.
What if it's another rebel attack and this is their plan?
Silently I look down. As the figure shines its torch I shudder.
This could be an ambush. I could die.

Unless I take things into my own hands...
I am holding a hardback version of the Jungle Book, a childhood favourite. If I aim right, this might do the trick.
I raise my hands over my head and try to focus. I only have one shot of this.
If I hit him; success. If I don't, I'm doomed.

Slowly I pace myself as I count to three before I make my move.
One, I lift my arms up higher.
Two, I steady myself and aim.
Three, I let go.

Instantly I close my eyes as I brace myself for the worst. To my surprise the torch lies down on the ground. The figure is lying on the ground. Success.

I act giddy as I jump until I notice the torch shining at the figure which reveals a khaki uniform with a peak cap. It is a guard.
Oh dear. I may have just knocked out a guard.
I am hesitant, shooting myself down for doing the unthinkable.
I should move his body, but how do I get down?

I step up on the balcony. I hold on tightly as I couch. The wind blows me slightly as I try to stand up.
It's easy. I just have to jump down. I can manage this.
Before I can say more of a motivational speech, a forceful wind blows me and I fall to the ground.

I land in a thump on the spangled guard's body. I wince and mutter 'sorry' in case he can hear me. He looks youngish with a short mop of brown hair. A mole is on his left cheek and he has a slight crooked nose. Otherwise than that, he looks kind of cute.

As I stare down at his body, I feel terrible. How do I get rid of his body and get back up...then it hits me.
I have a guard knocked out, wearing guard's uniform. Uniform that could be my ticket to a night out in the forest.

I don't question myself as I start stripping off his uniform, untying his coat buttons and untying his laces. Finally when I have his uniform off, I start stripping off my night gown.
Now I dressed in his too big uniform as I tuck my hair under his cap. Lacing up his size fourteen male shoes, I mutter "how can anyone have such big shoes, and I thought size eight was big!"

He is only left in his white vest top and grey boxers as I drag him over underneath my balcony, covering his stomach with my nightgown and boom.

Picking up his torch, I march forward, taking my time as my feet away from side to side in his big boots.
The cold seeps in through my baggy clothing but that does bother me.
I just can't believe I actually did this.
I was finally going to the forest. I am getting my sanity back.

"Hold it right there" a voice booms and stops me on my tracks. Turning, I see two guards advance forward both double my size.
"Where do you think you're going?" one barks at me, shining his torch at my face.
Unable to answer at first, I try to put on a deep voice "To the forest sir, I'm on portal duties"
They both stare surprised until one snaps "You mean you didn't do your check up earlier on with the others?!"
I am startled by his reaction as I grumble "No sir, I was with the guards at the report"

They both stare for awhile until they both say in unison "Alright then Whealen, but you better be back before midnight or else I will tell Liteuntant Shaws"

I only nod and salute them both waiting for them to leave.
Once they do, I scramble forward and make my way towards the east side, as that is where I know most of my ground.
It seems easy enough as I praise myself to make it to the forest, without any injuries this time.

As soon as I step onto the mossy undertone, I smile. The cool crisp air fills my lungs as wildlife comes to life as I hear the melodies of Mother Nature.

Thankfully, when I reach my usual log, my bow is still there. Feeling it in my hands makes me emotional but it doesn't feel right in my grip. As I pull back the bow I miss a tree by a few centimetres.
Oh well. It's been so long, I'm bound to struggle at first.

Grabbing another bow from my quiver, I pace myself as I step forward I hear something rustle.
I jump as I turn. Next thing I know, a twig snaps.
I let out a sharp breath as I steady myself.

Another twig snaps, this time, accompanied with the silent rustle of leaves.

I can't take it any longer. If it is a wild boar, I swear I am prepared to kill it with my bloody own bare hands.

Preparing myself for the worst, I shiver. Then out of the corner of my eye I see a tall dark figure appear before my very own eyes.
It tilts its head and steps closer. Still shaking I try to sound brave with a strong thick voice.
"Stay back, I'm warning you..."

With swift motion, the figure comes before me and flings a knife towards my direction.
Ducking, I let out a blood curdling scream.
I want to run but my heart and head are telling me not to, to encounter this person and fight back.

Knife after knife they come towards me.
I don't know what to do but to duck each time and turn to the other direction. As I turn right, a knife hits me in the knee.

Screaming, I stagger to the ground in a forceful thud.
The pain is too immense to even concentrate on the mysterious assassin lurking in the shadows.

With a forceful scream, I howl in distress. Not even caring about my bow and arrow, I kneel in the mud trying not to shriek any louder.

As if the pain isn't enough, I notice the foe is nowhere to be seen.

Great. I am left alone to mend my own fatal injuries.

What feels like an endless period of time, I lie on the ground, the moisture of the mud absorbing my shock. Sweat coats my skin and I remain still, until I hear rustling.

If it is another attack, I am doomed.

With all my strength I crawl towards my bow but it is too late. With fast swooping action, I see a shadow rush for my bow.
Holding back a cry, I stare up.

Before my presence is a tall broad shoulder man.
I can't see much else but when he looks away, I could see blonde curls.
A long jagged scar runs down the right side of his face. With a smouldering stare and ripped muscles, he looks impeccable to say the least. 
There is something about him that made me question his sly approach.
I can't keep my eyes off him.

Fearing the worst, I try to huddle myself together and whimper.
If I am to die, I don't want my last sight to be this.

Oh please get it over and done with. Please...

But there is nothing.
No gunshot. No dagger engraved into the back of my skull. There is nothing but the sound of laughter.

I look up. The man is staring at me with wonder and confusion.
He can't stop laughing.
It is as if a surge of happiness came over him and he doesn't feel in the mood to kill me.

Without fear I interrupt his moment. "What's so funny?"

"It's hilarious to see you on the ground trembling, thinking 'Oh look this savage man wants to kill me'!"
He flaps his arms about in the air and imitates a lady like high pitched voice.

"I'm not that cruel"

"But you, you...you y-you"

"Go on dear, spit it out. I haven't got all day..." He smirks.

"You threw knives at me"

He sighs and turns towards the trees. "Astra you can come out now. She knows you're here!"

Next thing, a young girl with a half shaven blonde head intrudes.
If looks could kill, then I would be doomed.

"Why do you always have to spoil everything?!"

He chuckles. "You really did hit it. It's leg is in dire agony. I don't know about it's arm though.."

I growled. "Excuse me but refer me as a lady, not as 'it'" I spit out the end.

"Oh be quiet you" Astra commands and I am once again a little mouse.

"But what now? We can't just leave? It saw us!"

"Well we wouldn't be in the mess if you didn't throw knives!"

"Well how was I supposed to know it wasn't a guard?!"

"Well if you listened to me, none of this would have happened!"

"Oh shut up Alder! I swear once we get back I'm telling the Commanders!

Alder? Commanders?

I break in. "Um excuse me but-"

"I said be quiet! Now why would you tell the Commanders such a thing when it was your fault?!"

"You told me to come with you!"
"Yes I did because you're the only girl who knows how to throw daggers! Your hit could get us some good food for tonight!"

Astra huffs and folds her arms. "Well in that case...then I won't tell the Commanders"

"Fine" Alder nods.

"Fine"

"Um excuse me but..."

"WHAT?!" They both growl, nearly ready to throw more daggers at me.

"Well you can't just leave me here lying on the ground. By all your talk my wound could be infected..."

I project my voice to come across strong and independent, not as fearful as I really am.

"Oh calm down you big baby..."
Astra snarls as she starts prepping. "Get dog leaves and clean water" Astra barks as she props me up against a tree.

She winces once she sees my leg.
"Oh that's a nasty cut...well for a two year's old that is..."
How funny of her. I thought she was starting to show some compassion.

Alder comes back with a handful of dog leaves and a flask of water.
She pours the water; I hold back my agony as she starts rubbing dog leaves around my wound.

"So what are you two doing out here anyways?" I hesitantly question.

"We could ask the same for you" Alder remarks. He has a point.

"Well I was just.... passing by..." "Passing by?! In this massive forest?!" He rolls his eyes. "As if"

"Well at least I wasn't trespassing...this is Erivale property..."

"Who made you queen?"

I want to stop myself but I can't. I am hysterical by what is happening I continue to blab,
"Well my brother's coronation happens to be in 5 months times..."

They both stop what they are doing and stand still, recollecting what I just said.

"Are you---? It can't be..."
The boy stares but Astra pounces on me, a knife against my neck.

"If you're telling us the truth, I swear I will kill you this instant you worthless little-"

"ASTRA!" Alder scrambles over and grabs Astra, who swears and throws a knife at me. I move in panic to miss a knife by a centimetre.

"How dare you come here! I'll kill you! I'll kill her! Let go Alder!"
She growls, trying to break free of Alder's grip. At this moment I'm so glad of his strong biceps.

"No, let her speak" He stares and I see his strong coloured emerald green eyes gleam in the moonlight.
"What are you doing here?"

I can only tell the truth. No matter what the consequences will be.
I take in a deep hefty breath and say "I come here for peace"

I hear Astra laugh but I continue.
"It's just that things have been so hard...and I love this place, it's a wondrous place of virtue and simplified passion..."

I trace my hand over the tree bark, connecting with the nature.
"This is my escape from life's burdens. This is my only place where I get a sense of freedom."

They can only stare back, perplexed by my accusation.
"So, you're telling us this forest is your freedom when you live a life of glorious riches...bullshit. Alder she's a spy. Let's kill her."

She wants to feel her grip on my neck, seeing the light from my eyes disappear. I know she does, and so does Alder, but he stays still.

"Are you the one who use to go hunting her with the prince?"

I stop. He knows. He knows.

"Yes..." I sigh.
"I use to love coming here with Gerard" I can't help but let a tear fall.

To break the silence Astra speaks. "You're actually pretty good with a bow...which is surprising..."

"Have you both been watching me?" They solemnly nod.

"Yes, we were so surprised to see others in the forest, at first we thought you were intruding, stealing our food, which at first you did take away your bait but once Gerard discovered us watching, he always left his good in a tree log..."

It all makes sense now.
I always thought he was being wasteful but in fact, Gerard was helping these people...

"How are you? I mean, what is your business in this forest?"

"We live here...."

"But that doesn't make sense! You could simply live in Erivale!"

They don't say anything until Astra speaks up.
"That's the thing...we're..."

"Castaways, from other new countries. Too strict for us, so we ran away. And now we are refugees hiding in Erivale." Alder buts in, informing me about their grave destinies.

I don't know what to think.
I don't want to anger them with more questions so I just reply "It's nice to meet you"

Alder shakes my reached out hand as a sign of a new friendship.

The way his rough cuts and bruises shine out in the shaft of pale moonlight makes me quiver.

"Can we get back to hunting? We should have been back 15 minutes ago.."

"Oh crap" Alder brushes away, gathering his gear.

I stare towards the log where I hid my own caught goods. It only contains rotting goods from traps.
It is just a small bird and two rabbits which were already dying but still, they could help.

"Wait, I have something you might like"

I hobble over to the log, bending to retrieve my goods.

But once I return, they were gone. The only thing left is a single dogleaf, floating in the water.

D7Dw