Odessa

I wake up to the familiar scent of lilies and rain.
Sun light creeps in through the balcony window; it seems I forgot to draw the curtains last night. The warm ball of light filters through my thin eyelids. Rays of brightness cast squares onto the glossy floor, reflecting onto several objects in the room which decorated its otherwise simplicity. I blink a few times, in an attempt to help my eyes adjust to the illumination directed right at my defenceless figure.

The creased bed sheets bring warmth and satisfaction that I have yearned for so long.

It's nice to have my own space again, even if It did mean staying away for three weeks, it did me the good I needed.

There are times when I think about his touch and how he forced me into a deep spiral of despair but I think after yesterday I can survive. There's no need to hide from an imbecile man who used me. Besides, I can return the favour the next time I see him and give him what he deserves.

As I toss over to get the dreaded thoughts away when I notice a little note placed on my bed, along with a tray with orange juice and a croissant.

Meet me in the garden at noon. We need to talk - J

Before I ponder over what he wants, I bite on the croissant, savouring every spec of it.
But soon the distant memories of the meaning of the rebel attack creeps in my stomach and soon I don't feel in the mood for breakfast.

* * * * *

Sitting on a bench in a light grey suit with no tie is James.
He buckles his legs as he pulls his fingers. He looks pretty agitated to say the least.

I cough to indicate my presence as the wind blows my tousled hair.
He jumps with a fright. With swollen red eyes he doesn't look his best. His face is too pale and I can hear the anxiety she's trying to hide.
Even his perfect stubbly chin and jaw line doesn't help his look.

He looks uptight, as if he's hiding something.
"What seems to be the matter?" I ask with remorse, sitting down beside him.
He doesn't look up, just staring at his hands.

"Did Audery say something to you?" I ask alarmed, edging closer to him.
He only shakes his head. "No- it's not that, it's just-" he lets out a shaky breath "I think I might do something tonight I will regret forever"

His look of despair makes me reach out and rub his arm.
"Whatever it is, I'm here for you"

He lets out a odd breathy laugh.
"That's the problem, I don't think you will"
I can only shake my head with vexation. "James! Calm down, I'm always here for you, you've supported me the past few weeks, whatever it is, I will be there"

He suddenly lightens up and lets out a sigh of relief.
"Thanks Odessa, but I'm sorry in advance but promise me-" he now grabs my hand tightly "-you will not hate me for this"

I smile and say softly "I promise"

I can't help but ask more but we are disturbed by Alexander.
"My dear, you have a guest in your room awaiting your presence"
He bows to James and then leaves, but as he does, he gives a frightful look that leaves me questioning what the issue is.

As I get up, I rub James' shoulder and say "Don't worry about me, okay?" and as I walk away I feel terrible for leaving me.

As I head up the stairs I feel the hairs rise on my arms as a cool breeze sweeps past by me.
My hand grips the handle and I breathe in slowly. I smile slightly as I tell myself to relax but as soon as the door widens my smile disappears.

Father stands beside my bed frame, waiting for me.
"Ah Odessa! Finally!" A cold smile appears showing his snake like dimples.

"Hello Father" I mumble as I manage to close the door behind me.
It's jarring to see him in my room. This must mean I'm in serious trouble.

He now stands leaning against my bed frame, examining his cuticles.
"I do hope you are on your best behaviour after what happened dear"
I wince at his words but I simply reply with "I'm feeling great Father, and you?"

He now looks up and stares hard. With his trudging footsteps he snaps bitterly "I would be a lot better if I didn't have to handle shipping tariffs due to your little incident" his sharpness sends chills down my spine.

At first I am confused but then I realise, he means Nicolai.

"Our country is at its lowest point, people are getting angry as there is no money or food, it seems your little act against Nicolai proves to show the people that we are crumbling, a case we do not need at this time"

"I didn't know Nicolai would cause such a fuss" I babble, immediately biting my tongue.

That's when he laughs so loud I nearly jump. "That's when you're wrong Odessa. Thanks to you and James they have called a strike against shipping to us unless we pay a large tax, and you must know how things are for our country at the moment. You see the Southern Isles give us most of our medical supplies and now with the threat of disease spreading, we are at a loss and our people are dying and they are not happy"

I'm taken aback by the directness and even sincerity of this speech. As if his primary concern is the welfare of the citizens of Erivale but every word he says is an extra weight crushing my delicate shoulders.

He now turns and glances at the balcony, waiting for a response.
"What do you want me to do?" I simply ask.

"I believe this whole nonsense can be sorted if we just simply forget that...incident ever happened" By the way he lingers on the word incident it shows he doesn't even believe it happened.

"We need to regain our trust, so in order to do so, we must insist with our Allies, we need you to forget what Nicolai did and simply start afresh"
I feel the wrath of his words sink in one by one.

"You mean I must forgive him and settle for marriage"
He slowly lifts up his lips into a smirk.
"Yes that's exactly it Odessa, simply forgive and forget as they say"

I don't watch him as he beads for the door, so I flinch when he whispers into my ear "If you don't obey I can easily make your life a living nightmare"
Then the door clicks shut behind him.

* * * *

My mind is buzzing with an array of thoughts before I am brought back into the room.
It is five minutes before the Report and I am sitting on a plush cushioned ivory chair beside James in our usual display.
It's been so long since I've been here so tonight will be special.
Diva and Trina will make a big deal out of this, trying to drag away from the recent rebel attack.

James sits holding a blue envelope, flapping it about between his finger tips trying to keep calm.
"Do you have a budget report to read out" I ask.
I get no response as he is so zoned out, in his own world. I have to nudge him and repeat my question before he answers "Ah yeah, it's pretty boring"

I smirk. "Of course judging by everything, it's not pretty good eh?"
Just then I see Father walk in hand and hand with mother, her bump getting bigger every time I see her.
He catches me staring and glares at me as if to say 'Behave or else'

I brush it off as a camera man shouts "We'll be on in one minute" and instantly Diva and Trina rush in wearing egg nog coloured suits with thick snow heels.

I duck my head and mutter to James "I did not miss their outfits" who ignores me.

Now the camera man screams "10 seconds" and everyone is sitting down, quickly patting down pleated skirts and fixing crooked ties.

The national anthem plays and Diva and Trina appear on stage, smiling and waving at the cameras.
"Good evening citizens of Erivale! We present to you another spectacular night of news from the kingdom"
Sound effects of cheers boom throughout as they continue "We finally have Odessa back with us"
The camera zooms in and I bite hard on my tongue as I smile and wave.

They both squeal calling me up on stage. Thankfully my feet are not frozen as I walk up, kissing their cheeks as they say their long awaited hellos.

"Wow Odessa you look fantastic!" I look down at my black raw silk dress that falls to the floor. It is matched with dangling gold earring and my hair let loose and hanging.

I say my thanks as Trina nudge me.
"This dress is familiar to the one you wore on that special night, ain't I right?" and Diva lets out a high pitched screech.

Oh dear. Not now. I'm not ready. Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh no.

I simply smile as Father's words replay in my head. "Oh yes that night" and even though my hands tremble slightly I give a wink to the camera and laugh.

"We are pleased to show exclusive photos from the special night!" They both say together and soon images flash onto the screen.

First a picture of me with Diva and Trina appears, my white teeth flashing as I have my arms around them as if we are the best of friends.
Another picture of Mother and Father dancing appears and we can hear sighs of affection.

I try to steady myself as more pictures appear and to my horror, a picture of Nicolai and I appear.
Under the chandelier light we both look memorising as we dance. It looks like they took the picture after Nicolai told me one of his stupid jokes as I am laughing.

I know the camera is zoomed in on my face as I look so I cannot give away anything. I simply look at it with awe but inside I am slowly rotting.

"The two if you are a match made in heaven!" Diva shrieks. "We love the both of you, we have a name for you and everything" she pauses and Trina starts clapping a drum roll.
"How about Nicessa!"
They both jump up and down squealing, I can't help but laugh.

If only they knew what really happened that night.

"It's perfect" I giggle, placing my hand over my lips to cover my sour appearance.

They rest of the interview is asking me about the night, to which I do reply truthfully, not mentioning the final part. They even mention wedding plans to which I simply nod and comment quickly on, hoping to change topic.
I'd rather if they talked about what I ate this week instead of this.

Finally the interview is over and they hug me once again.
"We are so glad to have you back Odessa and we'll keep our fingers crossed on more updates on Nicessa!"

Once I get up and sit down beside James, I wish I could leave and neverreturn and just simply rot away. 

Okay so this is Chapter nineteen! *blows 19 kisses*Thank you so much for all the support, I greatly appreciate it <3