Odessa

I am submerged into deep water, deprived of oxygen to the point of pain. My body endures the sharpness of the algid water and my brain cannot process what is happening.

It happens all so fast.
One moment I am in the car. The next, I am immersed into an extreme exposure of water.

My legs have become numb from the inscrutable cold, but no matter what, I need to reach the top. I force my legs to endure the crippling pain as I slowly motion to the surface. I suck in a hefty supply of oxygen as I slowly face my surroundings.

All I could see is ice floating in vigorous motion around me as a gust of wind awakes my senses. It finally dawns on me that Gerard is nowhere to be seen.

No. This can't be happening.

As I feel my body being dragged against the current, I can only think about him. Hysteria takes over me as I manage to scream "GERARD".

I can only hear the echoes of my forceful screams. My head can't function from the depravation of any physical sensation as I try to stay afloat. Debris of fallen trees and broken ice scatter throughout, the car is nowhere to be seen.

Oxygen takes its toll to enter my lungs and my breathing sharpens as I take one gaze at the destructive milieu.

A sense of fear escapes me. Surely he's alive?

"GERARD" I cry out. Nothing can be heard, only the sudden pulse of my panic.

The last thing I can remember is darkness sweeping over me.

A soundless scream slips from my throat as I mouth 'Gerard' as I am swept into the icy black void of oblivion...

No. Wake up. This is all a dream. A false reality. Wake up. Just wake up.

I dart up and pull the sheets around me. Breathless, I try to contain my composure. I stare around my surroundings. All I see are cool grey walls with black wardrobes, all neat and tidy.

James' bedroom.

"What dream was it?"

I'm startled to hear him as he stands against the bathroom doorframe, his posture awkward and one hand in his pocket as he casually brushes his teeth.

"Just the usual nightmare...the night of Gerard's accident"

"Oh" He isn't too surprised.

It's been happening now ever since the incident. The incident I never want to speak about again.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He queries me, eying cautiously in case I may start crying.

I only shake my head feverishly.
"No n-n-n-no it's fine..."

He gives his usual groan when I refuse to tell him anything personal and spits out his salvia and toothpaste.

"You do know it's been two weeks since the incident, I'm not pushing you in anyway but would you consider going back to your bedroom?"

I give the usual answer to this command. "No"

It's that simple. I never want to go into that room again.
I just want to stay here with James and not feel the presence of guilt and furrow mixed into one as it crawl into my skin. Just thinking about it is awful and terrifying.

He doesn't protest, instead ruffles his hair. No matter what, James always looks perfect. He'll always have his signature trimmed facial hair and luscious locks of soft hair and perfect skin.

I am able to match his beauty, I could even beat him, but right now, I couldn't care less.
I have terrible acne and swollen eyes and it's all down to the fact that ever since the incident, Father won't look at me or even ask what really happened so as a protest, I barely eat.

It's pretty simple to maintain really. All I have to do is stay up here while the others have dinner downstairs and simple flush it all down the toilet. Of course, I chop it up and even leave a piece on my plate to make it look convincing, I'm not that stupid.

But with this mastermind of a plan I can show Father the effect he has on me.

I do eat my breakfast though; I can't resist a good bowl of porridge.
The creamy wonder of lumpy like mixture warms my stomach and keeps me full for most of the day, which is all I need anyways since I can't go out anywhere.

Ever since the night, Father has ordered James and I to be 'locked'.

It basically means I am deprived of human rights and I cannot leave James' bedroom.

But I like being alone as I don't have to use up energy to talk or move.
All I have to do is stay in bed.

But today is special. It is Saturday. The only day I have James to myself.
I have ideas in my head to keep the thoughts of dread away.
I can be sane with James.

But soon my insanity will creep back.

"Unfortunately I have to attend a meeting, it's for the upcoming banquet with the Irish " he rolls his eyes.

"I've been trying to tell Father how we shouldn't continue on with this but he doesn't care, as long as he keep relationships good, especially after what happened with Nicolai.."

"Don't say his name!" I snap back. "Never again do I want to hear that name"

He recoils back to his awkward position against the door frame.

"Sorry Odessa...I didn't mean to offend you..."
He then straightens up and sits on the edge of his bed.

"Afterwards we could go for a walk, I say Mother wouldn't mind. I could also sneak up some strawberries and cream, your favourites"

I smile weakly. Not my ideal way of having fun.
"It sound's perfect"

"I'm so glad that you're doing okay, but just please tell me whenever you feel bad, okay?" He pleads, placing a hand on my shoulder.

He thinks since we're twins we're suppose to tell each other everything.

"Well If I tell you how I feel, you should tell me how you feel. It's a win-win situation"

He nods. "Of course. I always do"

I know he's lying. Ever since that night he has been uptight about everything and whenever Xavier enters the room they never look at each other.

He kisses my forehead and leaves me to contemplate in my absolute silence, the vertex of insanity slowly creeping into my skin again.

* * * * *

I lie in bed slowly drifting away as I trail my fingers against my trembling body. I trail over bumps, scars, red marks and ugly bruises as I make my way around my piece of fragile art.
Slight tremors arouse me as I feel the hairs on my body rise and fall with my motion.

It's not my fault this happened.
It just happened. Out of a seemingly empty void, I have received pain, such an outburst of pain in such short time.

My head can't get around how much has happened in such a short time.

Four months, that's all it took for my life to unravel.

I am sprawled against the entire double bed, it has been mine for the past two weeks. James has been kind enough to stay with me.
He has an old mattress and sheets on the floor. He stays close by in case I freak out again.

I haven't done anything in the past two weeks. I've just stayed here in bed waiting for time to pass.
I am wearing one of James' plain white t-shirts that doesn't fit him anymore.
I like it as it isn't too big or too small, it clings in all the right areas and allows the space I need.

As I stare up at the ceiling for the millionth time, my entire body suddenly tingles with uncertainty.
Something doesn't feel right...

"Well well well isn't it the charming princess" I turn and gaze upon a familiar cunning face that stands against the door frame.

Nicolai.

He creeps forward ever so slowly, his breaths hanging in the air. His cruel eyes are fixed on me as my whole body starts twitching.

"G-get away from me" I manage to splutter, sliding to the other edge of the bed in fast motion, my heart pounding as he steps closer.

I can see his lips curling, his hands stretched out. He bends and kneels at the end of the bed, grabbing my legs.

Paralysed by his touch, I stare up horrified. His brittle skin is luminate in the daylight as he murmurs
"Now you get what you deserve"

"No I don't want this, get away" His touch makes me want to scream the entire palace down.

"Oh come on Odessa, have a little fun" he mutters in a husky tone.

Instantly a searing pain rouses as my blood starts boiling.

"Don't come any closer, I'm warning you. I'll call James"

He only hackles, his deep boastful laugh seeping in the air.
"James isn't here to defend you this time dearie"

And in my worst nightmares, I feel hands forcefully gripping my neck.
I look up to see James leaning forward, a vicious grin appearing as he enjoys my suffering.

"J-James" I manage to escape in my tight compression.

Tears stream down my eyes as James howls "Go on Nicolai, she deserves it"

"N-no.." I gasp but James' fingers are intertwined so tightly I start feeling dizzy.

"I'm going to enjoy it" Niciolai laughs, placing a hand around my side.

A strangle escapes me and without out thinking I place my shaking hand towards the drawer and snatch an empty glass. I throw it towards Nicolai and then-

I hear an ear bursting sound of shattering glass.

I look to see not only is the glass broken, but James' full length mirror is shattered in the middle.

Nicolai is gone. I can suddenly breathe again.

Startled, I allow air compress into my lungs with every shaky motion.

My hands are clammy and my breathing rapidly increases as I motion forward to examine the broken shards of glass

Soon a wince of pain urges through me as I notice the shard of glass has cut into the palm of my hand.
Blood trinkets down slowly and I am left listening to my pounding heart and jaggered breathing.

As I let the scarlet blood flows down my hand, I look at myself in the cracked mirror. I'm a mess.

My hair is so greasy. I haven't washed it in days. It feels like oil is lathered in my roots as it hangs down, brushing against my face.

I just don't feel like myself anymore.
I want to rip off my skin and start fresh. I just want to feel normal.

The twinkle in my eyes has faded and I am left a slobbering mess, unable to fix myself.

It isn't long before I notice the trickling crimson blood running down my top. In an instant I start letting out roars of deep fury and agony.

"Wow that's seven years of bad luck you know"
I catch a glimpse of a groomed you man in a dashing black suit. He looks perfect and exquisite.

He combs his fingers through his hazel hair which clings to his fingertips like vines.

A flood of memories that I hadn't thought of years instantly come flooding back.

There is only one person I know who has that effect with his hair, and then it hits me.
"Gerard?" I ask breathlessly.

I don't need to stand up before he crouches down to my level and examines my wounds.
His touch sends my nerves spiralling with uncontrollable

He winces and whistles. "That looks nasty"

Before I can express a syllable he places a hand on my cheek. Staring directly at him, I can see his smooth skin and stubbly jawline and chin. His irresistible brown eyes shine.

Against the light shining in through the curtains, his eyes aren't actually brown. They melt into golden rays, circling an eclipse. In any hour his brown eyes turn into a sunset of their own.

"Odessa, or should I say Dessy, you look miserable"
I choke on his words. This is not what I expect from a mirage, a fragment of my own imagination to express.

"I-I...are you real?" He chuckles. Oh how I missed his chuckling.
"I'm here to set things straight" I can only stare examining all his facial features.

"Dessy how can you be like this? You're becoming a miserable train wreck"

"Well should I be running around giving flowers to everyone just after a man attacked me?!" I snap, not caring if this is just a sheer pile of imagery in my head.

There is a brief pause as he lifts up my chin for direct eye contact.
"Remember when you first went to the forest with me and you were nervous but excited at the same time? Remember when I showed you how to use a bow?" I nod as distant memories flood back to me.

"Remember the advice I told you that day"

I swallow a lump in my throat.
"You never realise how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.."

"Exactly, now one day everything will be explained to you, but now I need you to keep your head up and be the warrior you always knew you were"

"I promise" Tears stream down my cheeks and I feel his hands brush off my hair.

When I look up once again, he is nowhere to be seen.

I am left on my own to an abundance of broken glass and blood.

So this is Chapter Fifteen! :D
It feels weird thinking I actually have written fifteen chapters, it feels so surreal!
But thank you all so so much, I greatly appreciate it!