James

I let out a roar and pounce at Nicolai. "How dare you, you ignorant pig!"

I can't contain myself as I drag him off the bed and start punching. A wail like a dying cat escapes him as I start punching furiously.

"How dare you- hurt- my sister- you little shit"
I keep on punching him so hard.
I can feel his brain imploding inside as I continue to punch his head.
I then start kicking his stomach and hammering the right side of his ribcage. He tries to defend himself by trying to grab my legs. I continue kicking until I hear a voice.

"Stop!"
I see Odessa, sitting on her bed, covering herself with her bare arms and legs. She is shivering as tears stream down her pale face.

I can't help but rush over to her, leaving Nicolai whimpering to himself.
At least he is alive. Now I don't have to be the man who kills him.

"Odessa are you alright?!"
That's a stupid question. Of course she isn't okay. Shaking like a leaf, she doesn't even look at me. She just stares into nothing but a deep void of emptiness.

"Odessa" I say slowly.
"What happened?"
She can't even speak.

She shakes a hand feverishly and tries to point at him.
"I-I-I-I- I thought he was the one......."
There is a long pause.
"But he used me.....h-h-h-he used me" and soon she starts wailing loudly.
I rub her back trying to hush her, in case anyone intrudes.

"It's okay, I'm here, its okay"
I can only stare at her. Her cheeks and eyes are swollen red and her beautiful red hair is tangled everywhere.
I can see lime coloured bruises forming around her legs. I start to shiver and I have to look away.

She can't stop crying. Her cries are soul destroying as they quiver throughout me.

I place a dressing gown over her petite trembling body. Nicolai barley moves and I wish I could finish him off.

"It's going to be fine" I can't stop looking at her frail body. She is so fragile. I can't bare it.

"I better get someone- "

"No, please stay!" she begs, clutching to my sleeves.
It's almost as if we're together in this mess. I want to say more, until we are intruded by Father, King Fernando and Herald.

"What is going on here?!" Father bellows. Fernando shrieks once he sees Nicolai. Herald, judging by his observational look, is horrified.
Once Father puts two and two together he screams "Herald, leave at once"

Father doesn't even look at us, instead he rushes to help Nicolai get up.
"Oh my dear boy are you alright?" Fernando sputters, so confused by seeing his son thrown on the floor.

I hear a murmur from Nicolai
"He did it" as he raises his arm slightly to point towards me.

The little shit.

Fernando turns, looking extremely flabbergasted.
"Why did you attack my dear son? How dare you!"
I have to stare. Are they serious?!

"Have any of you realised that Odessa is practically naked and shaking like a leaf? Do you not have any sense? God what idiots do we have ruling a nation when you can't see a shaking girl in front of you?"

Abruptly I feel a red burn of a slap on my right cheek. King Fernando, with piercing red eyes stares me down, making me lower down to the floor.

"How dare you accuse my son of attacking this girl? By the looks of tonight you could say she did it to him"

Now Odessa is fuming. I can feel she wants to punch King Fernando, but instead, she starts sobbing quite loudly. Her sobs carry throughout the room. I want to comfort her but I need to stand up and fight her battle.

"I'm sorry but how dare you insult my twin sister"

He doesn't bat an eyelash.
"Well maybe if you were both raised properly, none of this would have happen"
Father is repulsed at us as he helps assist Fernando to lift Nicolai up.

"You're lucky I didn't order both of them to be sentenced for treason and assault....or worse...death" he spits on his words sharply.

He drags Nicolai's frail and useless body out of the room. I can't stop my breathing as it paces quickly, to catch up with Odessa's sobs.

Father doesn't even look at us, he notes "I will deal with you both later" and bounds out the door to catch up with Fernando, but he is stopped by a cameraman.

"I commend you to leave at once" he snarls at Diva and Trina, who want to catch a glimpse of this deadly charade.

Odessa places her hands over her mouth so no one can hear her sobs.
I soothe her quietly, telling her that they will leave us alone.
We both try and stay quiet until we can only hear ourselves breathing.

I stare down at her arm. It is bleeding again.

"Did he hurt your arm Odessa?"
She just shakes her head from side to side.
"It was my fault...." I hear a faint murmur.
"All of this is my fault..."
"No don't you dare say that. He is an arrogant pig. I should've been there. I was fooled by how happy you were with him on the dance floor..."

"We were both fooled" She folds her arms into herself and cries again.

"He's a monster...I want him dead...."

I hush her in case anyone comes.
We wouldn't want anyone to hear her death threats.

Underneath her dressing gown her dress is tattered and ripped in multiple areas.

"Let's get you cleaned up..."

It takes her a few minutes to register that she will have to move, but I don't rush her.
She hobbles over to the bathroom. I help her with every step.

She takes off her robe and her dress and stands in the shower as I take down the shower hose and start spraying water.

It trickles off all the sweat and tears. It purifies her shaking body, a new skin.

But no matter how hard I scrub, the memories of tonight will never fade.

She doesn't even feel uncomfortable with me doing this.

I have never seen her fully in the bare flesh before.
Her rib cages, unlike other girls, don't stick out underneath her pale skin and her things, covered in red marks and veins, touch each other.

She looks beautiful. The perfect figure any boy would want.
A figure any boy would take advantage of...

I grab her pyjamas and dry her without saying another word.
Our skin touch and I feel tremors down my body. She looks terrified. She'll probably never want to touch another's man skin ever again after tonight. She is still shaking and her face looks bleak but through her remorse, she fights through for a glimpse of happiness as she whispers "Thank you James"

"There's no need to thank me, now let's get you ready for bed..."
She grabs tightly on my arm.

"No, no, no please" she begs.
"Stay. I can't go there alone, not again, please..." She indicates towards the bed.

Oh. She's so afraid of her own bed now. That monster destroyed the one place she loathed. "Fine. I'll stay"
We slowly return back into her room and I place her onto her bed. I gather all the clothes and toss them aside, hopefully she'll never have to see that dress again.

Before I can register it happening, Alexander rushes in, a look of shock and misery on his face.
"Darling are you alright?"

Odessa can only shake her head as she cries again. Alexander comforts her and strokes her hair tenderly.
"It's all alright, he's gone now"

Watching them both together, I give them well deserved privacy and sneak off to my room.

Before I can even make it pass the corridor, I start bursting into tears.

I start wheezing and I have to stop, clutching my chest as I try to get air into my lungs. I stagger into my bedroom and try and make it to the bathroom to vomit, but it happens before I make it.

I lean against the wall and gasp. I am feeling light headed as the room spins around.

I let out a shaky breath as I mutter to myself "-I screwed up"

It doesn't take long for someone to notice my panic state. I wish I could be alone.

"James?"

I look up to see a stunned Xavier standing before me wearing his best suit.
"What happened?"

"I screwed up" I choke out, my chest heaving with panicked breathes.

He stands, confused, watching me pace back and forth in small tight circles.

"First with Gerard and now Odessa, I m-messed up...t-this shouldn't have happened, I screwed up Xavier, I screwed up"

My knees buckle against the wall and I sink to the floor.
I open my mouth once again but only distant sobs escape.

I start rocking myself against the wall, beating my head in soft thumps to punish myself.

"Hey,hey stop that" Xavier says gently, placing a hand at the back of my head. He places his other hand hesitantly on my shoulder.

"Xavier, I-I screwed up' I repeat, my voice strangles.

The smell of vomit lingers between us and my whole body can't stop shaking.

"James, look at me. You're alright, just...breathe'

I shake my head, my throat sounding sore from how I'm trying to force oxygen down my windpipe.
My eyes fill with tears thinking of Odessa in her state.

"I-I screwed up, fuck, I....I can't fix this. I can't"

Xavier swallows, his hand falling to my thigh.
"Just try and focus on calming down for me okay?" He speaks gently, warmly.

"That's it" He says after a few moments, taking my hand and pressing it against his own chest.
"Just like that"
I take a long breath in. "In" and I let out slowly "And out. In and out"

I mimic the action, my breaths calming even though my body doesn't stop shaking.

Outside rain starts to pound across the pavement as guards and guests rush away as thunder erupts through the bruised sky.

Slowly I mange to spit out "I t-think I n-need a shower"

For a moment my eyes turn to the floor as I try to push myself off but I can't. My legs shake like leaves in the wind, and I tumble down at least twice before Xavier's steady hands grab me around the waist and leads me in the bathroom.

With a sudden jerk my suit jacket is lying on the floor, closely followed by my shirt. I feel his presence as he stands watching me.
"I'm able to undress myself" I say, with a sniffling voice.
Xavier raises a questioning eyebrow at me and seems to be unimpressed.
"I know you can but you've been standing here for five minutes . You have been zoning out for the past hour, which you spent in clothes covered in sick. And-" He runs a hand across his face and sighs.

"You're worried"

"Am I- of course I'm worried! James have you looked in the mirror"
Xavier hisses, grabbing onto my upper arm a little too tightly, which he seems to realise a second later, because he immediately loosens his hold.

He closes his eyes.
"I know I'm just your simple butler but please, just talk to me"

I just stare at his awkward pose and thick frames.

"Why are you so nice to me?" I ask.

Xavier simply shrugs "Because I'm a decent human being. I don't really need a reason to be nice to someone" he says "Plus you're obviously going through a lot"

Soon I am bare naked as Xavier manages to get me into the shower. The last thing he wants us for me to slip or lose my balance altogether and hit my head off the faucet.

"You're too good to me" I mutter, my trembling disappearing a little under the steady hot steam of the shower.

Xavier swallows but doesn't reply because he doesn't know if I mean it.

Once I am out clean and fresh, there is an awkward silence between us as we can only hear my sniffling as I fumble to put on a pair of boxers.

I gaze at his salou skin and strangely a weird desire comes into my mind.

I am about to say something when the door creaks open.
We both turn to see Odessa trembling.

"I-I can't sleep in my room, can I stay with you?"

I stare, waiting for an approval of my vocal chords to work.

"A-ah ya sure"

She sits on the edge of the bed until I have her full attention and then she crawls under the sheets.

I turn my attention back to Xavier and mouth "Thank you" but he grabs my clothes and leaves.

I stare at the door waiting for him to reappear but he doesn't.

It's only Odessa and I, who is already fast asleep.

I sigh, trying to overcome what just happened.

All I know is the mask that I've been wearing for so long doesn't fit my face anymore.
It's broken and shattered into thousands of tiny pieces.

And I don't think it can ever be fixed.

a{

Oh my god I'm freaking out over How to get away with murder season 2 news!
Conrad posted the cutest picture ever of him with jack and I just can't handle it ❤
Aw so I hope you enjoy this chapter!!