James

I never asked to be born into royalty, somehow it just happened.

It's like as if whoever is up there ruling over us all wanted me to live my worst nightmare, which would be ruling over a nation. The worst part is it's a population of 5 million people.

To even imagine 5 million people in one place gives me the creeps. How could so many people all fit in the same country?

Reminiscing over my geography lessons I learnt that after many years of war and global warming, the plates of the earth moved. Even looking at an old map dating from the year 2015 scares me, it seems so long ago.

In my History lessons I learnt about all the conflict that occurred on this one godforsaken planet.
The first ever World War started by just a single man who shot the Austrian Hungarian Prince and his wife. Now that's terrifying.

I just hate the thought of thinking about war. Whenever Father reminisces over the Dark Days I shiver. To think of all the destruction caused over wealth and glory.
Because of all the Dark Days, every single country got stripped of their name, their government and their currency.

A group of well established leaders, including my great-great-great grandfather, Henry Blackthorn, decided to set up the Assembly.
The Assembly became the international government that settles every single dispute.

It seemed logical back then to bring in a monarchy system.
We have us; the Royal monarchy of each and every country at the time, and then it follows as the labourers, crafters, artificers, producers, cultivators and the infamous idlers.

It seems very basic. Each group is considered equal while the idlers are those who are profoundly known for causing constant uproar.
And then there are the outsiders or as we like to call them, the rebels..

I don't want to sound cowardly but the outsiders are ghastly.
They have invaded our kingdom countless of times, and their visits are becoming more and more frequent. Father is afraid with the fear of war looming that our force is already low, requiring the need of conscription.

I have no desire to allow it, nor can I forbid it. Father is still king and I must obey his every word. Everything he does is to protect the kingdom.

What If I don't make the right choices? What If I fail miserably and our entire nation will be destroyed. What if I can't provide the need for my people?

All these thoughts run through my head as I start to wheeze uncontrollably. I clutch at my chest as I try to get air into my lungs. My breathing briskly increases and I can feel my heart thumping inside of me.
I try to calm down but I can't.

I'm use to this sensation. I often get panic attacks. Even from a young age, I would often go under a trance and start shaking so much my arms would turn to jelly.

Mother always thought it was due to my stammer at a young age but Father disagreed. He told me that I was acting cowardly. Since then, I've been forced to leave the room whenever I felt a panic attack coming on.

Finally my breathing slows down and I can retain some oxygen.
'Breathe' I tell myself. 'Just breathe.'

To my alarm I do not notice Xavier come in.

He is startled to see me rocking myself gently. Holding his usual utensils of sprays and cloths to clean my room, he drops them instantly and comes towards me.

Noticing his groomed slicked back sooty black hair against his salou complexion, I feel anxious to even tell him what just happened.

"Can I get some water" I cough and immediately he rushes to fetch a jug.

The brief moment of silence disturbs me. Being alone isn't an option at this point.

He comes back with a pint glass of water with a cool iced jug. I gulp down the water feverishly.

It revives me to the core, I feel relived.

"Sorry about the sudden alertness, I just felt thirsty.."

Maybe that will end it. Just like that. No one questions.

But he interrogates me, wanting to know more.
I can see how concerned he is with the glint of remorse present in his glassy oak infused green eyes.
"Master...I mean James, are you okay? I've noticed you seem a little put off lately.."

Yes that's it. I'm 'put off' ...

"No no really, I'm fine Xavier, there's no need to worry about me" I stammer, not daring to look at him directly.

"But I should worry, I'm your servant. I am trained to be there for you..."
I wince at his words. He always makes me out to be a vicious ruler, as if I am in control of him.

"No really Xavier I'm okay" I protest once again.

"No you're not. Your hands are shaking..."

I look down at my hands. He's right. My hands are shaking. And they can't stop, no matter how hard I try.

I casually fold my arms across my chest to get Xavier off my case.
"I'm fine, there's no need to worry" I mumble.

"But mast- James, you need to tell someone, even your Father, what's going on. It's gotten worse after the incident.."

Suddenly I erupt. Noticing the glass he handed me perching on my bedside table, I grab it and throw it forcefully directly at him.

He dodges by an inch.

"LEAVE ME ALONE, OKAY?!" I scream, my voice reaching decibels I can't describe.

"You don't know how I feel after what happened! Now just fuck off and never mention it again!"

I can see his expression of grief and shock mixed into one as he stares. He is startled like a deer in front of head lights.

He goes down on all four slowly and starts picking up the fragments of broken glass. I can see his hand shaking as he fumbles to keep his composure.

Oh dear lord what have I done.

Not wanting to stand and watch like a cruel human being that I am, I help him pick up the remaining pieces.
He flinches as I step close to him.

I can only hear his shaky breathing as I pick up the fragments of broken glass, trying to come up with something to say.

"I'm sorry Xavier..." I manage to spit out. I get no reply back.

He just gets up and leaves the room, his bloody hands cupping the broken glass fragments.

Aw so this is the fourth chapter! So far I'm really pleased with the way it is turning out, a lot better than I expected!
I know it's a tad bit cheesy, total dystopian like but ah sure, who cares!
Thank you so so much for all the reads,votes and comments, I appreciate it a lot!
Reading all your comments make me so so happy! :) x