(Unedited)

I don't dare make a sound, for fear of waking my dad up. Jackson grins down at me, but not in any way that I find comforting. He forces his lips upon mine one last time before pulling away, yanking up his pants, and walking out my bedroom door like nothing even happened. I lie there for a moment longer, in the same stunned numbness this always leaves me in. But I force myself up, hearing the bus pull into the neighborhood. I quickly clean myself up to look somewhat presentable before I sprint out the door, grabbing my backpack on the way. I make it to the bus stop just in time, wiping away the few tears that had managed to fall. I slip into the usually empty front seat.

I hug my sweatshirt tighter around me, staring out the window. I cross my legs, feeling gross and violated in the worst kind of way. It still gets to me every time. I've tried to ignore it, to not be a wimp about it, but I can't. It's too much.

I watch the landscape roll by seemingly endlessly. Then the boring terrain takes a turn for the bright side when we reach the outskirts of the city. The school comes into view, sitting amongst old, abandoned buildings that the kids dared each other to break into almost every night, it stands out like a sore thumb. The brick is a stark white, despite its dirty surroundings, and the glass paneling gives it an almost futuristic look. It feels more like a detention center because of the bars on every window. They claim its for our safety, but I'm not so sure anymore.

I get off the bus when it pulls to a stop and walk inside with the sea of moving bodies pressing in on me from all sides. I journey upstairs to the third floor with the other seniors and make my way to my locker. I throw my backpack inside it and only pull out the books I need for my first class, AP Statistics. The thick blue book feels heavy in my sore arms, only another reminder of what's happened to me.

I walk straight across the hall into room 310 and take my seat in the back of the classroom as always. Mr. Dane is at his desk reading today's newspaper. He doesn't bother looking up, knowing I'm always the first one to class.

"Good morning, Mai."

"Good morning, Mr. Dane."

His glasses peer over the top of his paper. "You only call me that when you're stressed." He folds his paper and sets it down. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I quickly shake my head. "No, everything is okay."

He's about to say something more, but students begin filing in right before the bell rings.

***

Statistics goes by slowly, but afterwards I'm able to make my escape without being stopped by Mr. Dane. I make a quick stop by my locker before going to AP Chemistry class with my books in hand. No one bothers me, or really notices me for that matter, but I don't mind. I take up my place at the back of the room, the only one of two work tables still with open seats.

Not too long after I pull out my notebook, Mrs. Kinney walks in with a large stack of folders in her arms and her lab coat already on. Everyone takes their seats.

"All right, before we begin going over the procedure for today's lab, I'd like to introduce a new student." She gestures beside her to a boy I hadn't even seen standing there. "This is Henry, a transfer student from the east coast. Treat him kindly and show him school spirit." Then she hands him a folder and gestures towards me. I never had to work with a partner before, more than capable of doing experiments by myself and in nearly half the time of other students. I slide my books closer to me and keep my head down as he sits besides me.

Out of the corner of my eye I see him hold out his hand. "I'm Henry. Looks like I'll be your lab partner." I look up and see he's smiling. I hesitate, but then shake his hand out of obligation.

"A pleasure."

His smile falters and I see his shoulders tense up. "And your name is?" he asks, tilting his head slightly.

"M-Mai," I stutter. I bite the inside of my cheek, embarrassed.

Henry acts like he didn't notice. "Nice to meet you, Mai. That's a very interesting name." His words become forced, not as smooth or as kind as they had been a moment before.

I pull in on myself, hugging my knees up to my chest in my chair, wondering if it's something I said. Maybe it's just who I am. He probably hates me. I would too, if I were him. I do anyways.

I try to focus on what Mrs. Kinney says about the procedure, but none of it goes through. My thoughts are too preoccupied, focused on my sore muscles and uncomfortable position. I begin to wonder if there's any way during lab I can harm myself without being caught by Mrs. Kinney or Henry. I hear her mention something about using a Bunsen burner today. I don't know if I can pull that off...

Why don't you just do it already? You cut yourself up enough, treading the thin line between pain and death. Just end it. End your life before you become anymore of a bother than you already are.

My thoughts scream at me, my body begging me to relieve it of its misery. I ache to feel the cool metal against my skin, to feel what it's like as your heart slows down and you can't draw in any more air.

I decide to do it. After school, I can slip around back in the chaos of everyone getting on buses and go unnoticed. This could work. It would work. It has to; no one cares anymore anyways...

"Okay, so make sure you have your goggles on at all times and be safe," Mrs. Kinney says.

I can't believe I just zoned out the whole explanation of today's lab... At least she's giving out instructions. Henry hands me my set of papers and I quickly scan through them as Henry sets up his things and pulls out a notebook. I wonder if he'd be better off at the other table... That shy guy does have difficulties sometimes and besides, Henry doesn't really seem to like me. Not with the way he's acting.

I push out of my chair and walk to the front of the room. "Mrs. Kinney?"

She looks up with a smile, a pen tucked behind her ear and papers scattered across her desk. "Yes?"

"I think Henry might work better at the other table with..." I pause momentarily to try and think of the guy's name, "Shaun. Shaun usually has trouble with the Bunsen burner and I don't think Henry really likes me."

"Oh, that's probably not true. It's a new school for him; he's most likely just nervous. And I paired him with you because I don't know what sort of experience he has in a lab and you're the best student I have. Think you can stick with him for me?"

I won't be your best student for much longer...

I simply nod and force a smile, my stomach slowly tying itself into tighter and tighter knots. I don't really seem to have much of a choice.

I walk back to my seat and put my goggles on. To my surprise, Henry already has the burner out and on. He's also gathered all of the additional supplies and organized them in an almost OCD manner. I notice the only thing he's missing is the sample of unidentified material we're using today. I spin around in the chair and grab one of the samples marked SAMPLE A off of the counter behind us. I spin back around and hand it to Henry, who already has the crucible ready and his hand out. I let him work, seeing that his shoulders are still tense and he hasn't said another word to me.

This is going to be fun...

A/N:

I promise the chapters will begin to get to longer than this one. Please point out any grammatical/mechanical errors on my part and let me know what you think of it overall.

Thanks for reading, and remember, vote and comment if you enjoyed it.

RemainNameless12