I find myself sitting on my recliner infront of the fireplace. Absorbing all the heat. Yesterday I spent alot of time outside, I just need to heat myself today.

My mind drifts to the letter. Nathan gave me an envelope with a letter in it. I havent read it yet.

I pad my feet to the purse where I put it in. Charlotte said she's staying with the family. So I have enough time alone.

I open the note to find his neat handwriting which has me smiling. I've never gotten a hand written letter from anyone before. I open the neat folds.

Dear Gem

Hi. I dont know what I'm doing right now, I dont know if it's going to annoy you or make you happy but I want you to know my feelings. Raw, and explicitly.

When I first saw you at the Gala, I thought "wow, that it the beautiful diamond I've ever seen." I didnt know how to approach you, so instead I watched you sigh and stare at the moon.

When I protected you that night, it was not fake at all. My heart pulled me to do it, and oh my when I heard you speak, it felt like the angels were humming.

I knew that the only reason God gave me ears was to hear you speak.

You introduced me to Ethan and I instantly loved that little man. I looked at you look at him and that taught me love.

The thought of kids never crossed my mind. But when I met our son, man I never knew I was capable of that kind of love.

Everything that has anything to do with you makes me smile. It makes me happy.

I took care of you while you were in trauma.  And in all God fearing honesty, that's when I knew that I love you. When I saw the dullness in your eyes, I wanted nothing more than to bring the life back.

You've been in my life for only ten months. I've never laughed and had as much fun in my entire life than I have these past ten months.

You told me that you've failed in life, that you aren't beautiful. That you look in the mirror and you dont find that beauty that I say you have.

That's because you only see yourself in the mirror for those few seconds. While I see you whenever Ethan says or does something cute.

I see you when you see a puppy. I see you when I've cooked and you're tired from work. I see you when you admire the moon. And I see you when you think about your parents. And I think that you're gorgeous.

I watched you heal, I watched you conquer and I watched you boss up. And I want you to know that I'm proud of you.

You dont know how much I appreciate the little things that you do for me. You have no idea.

You blame yourself for everything that's happened in my life in the past ten months. You are only looking at the negatives but what about the positives?

Elizabeth came back yes. But it's a good thing because she fixed her relationship with her family.

You lost two babies, yes its true.  But look how strong you are now. You can take anything. Heck you tortured a grown ass man.

I found out my mom left my dad for his best friend. Yes, but at the end of the day you revealed the snake in the grass.

I'm grateful for every event that took place in my life after you've joined me because it's made me stronger.

Thank so much for blessing me with Ethan, I never knew I wanted a son until I found my son.

I want to thank you as well for choosing to keep our unborn baby. I promise that I wont be a nuisance in your life.

I love you Gemima. With every part of me.

I have no idea whether you're going to consider this as closure to "us" or you're going to see that I love you no matter what you think but I appreciate that you read this anyway.

I miss you so much. And do you mind if I come with you to one of your doctor's appointments?

P.S
I love you so much Gem. You are my Gem.

Love Nate.

Tears are now full on painting my face as I stare at this.

How am I supposed to get over him when he does things like this? How am I supposed to not love him anymore when he does stuff like this.

I love this.

It's just wholesome. There is something that I've noticed about him, he cares about Ethan.

He is basically Ethan's father.

That's it, I'm done pretending. I grab my keys and the letter. I run outside .

The cold doesnt bother me anymore.

Its giving Elsa vibes. Now stop chuckling and go get your man.

I get into the car and start driving to the house.

The lights are still on and there are voices that can be heard from inside.

This time I dont knock, I budge right in. The gallery is dark and warm. I walk up the stairs, they've dimmed all the lights and have the fireplace on. Everyone is laughing and chatting loudly with their presents in hand.

Nathan is cuddled up in my favourite fleece throw on the corner of the couch where I'd usually sit when I was sad.

I walk closer to him and no body notices me.

How are they not noticing me.

I sit next to Nate and it takes him a while to notice me.

"Gem?" He asks.

"Its me. " I smile.

He pulls me to a hug. And then he kisses my forehead.

"I guess Santa read my letter. It was my only wish that you came." He says smiling.

I nod with tears in my eyes.

"Gosh what are you wearing? Are those my shorts? Gem its too cold for you and the baby to be out." He says making rook for me in the fleece.

His arm rounds my waist and lands on my thigh. My clit gets a beat when he does this.

"Nathan I love you. I'm stupid for telling you to stay out of my life. I only said that because I thought I was doing what was best for the two of us but I'm wrong. It's not what's best for us.

I dont know what's best for you, but what's best for me is you. So if it's not too late, then I'd love to be with you.

If it's not too late I want to eat dinner with you and make corny jokes. If it's not too late I want us to be a family, just us and our kids.

If it's not too late, then Nate I love you too." I tell him.

He pulls me to an embrace that has me feeling safe. Every bit of loneliness and pain I thought I was feeling is gone when I am in his arms.

He let's me go and stares at me. His eyes hold so much love that I can barely contemplate whether to kiss him or to tell him how much I love him.

"Marry me." He says.