I wake up to find that Ethan has snuggled between us. Gem's arm is over Ethan's body protectively.

She isn't sleeping though, her eyes are bloodshot and shes staring at the boy as if he's going to disappear any moment now.

Under her eyes are eye bags. The face that was once so full of life is just... lifeless.

She looks so odd without a smile creasing her face. Her beautiful chocolate orbs are dull.

Usually filled with joy and sunshine, they are now hard. Like when you put chocolate in the freezer for too long.

A tear escapes her eye and my hand instinctively goes up and wipes it away.

Mid-action, while my hand is only inches from her face, she flinches. Fear settles in her eyes.

"I'm not going to hurt you... or Ethan." I say in the calmest voice I can master.

Her once tightly shut eyes open and a flood of tears fall onto the pillow.

The pillow is literally drenched. 

I put my hand over hers and I caress it. I watch as her eyes change from that cold stare to pain. She looks pained.

This goes deeper than I realise. I just know it.

Ethan stirs in his sleep. I know that in about ten to twenty minutes he'll wake up. So I wake up.

Her eyes are questioning. As if she want to ask me where I'm headed but her body refuses to respond to her command.

"I'm going to make you and the champ over there breakfast." I say.

She doesnt acknowledge what I've said to her. She just turns direction and stares outside at the beautiful garden.

I get to the kitchen. Panick settles in my chest.

I have zero knowledge in what I'm going to make. Usually I'll just have some cereal while Charlotte is making oat meal for Ethan . But today Charlotte isn't here. What am I going to do.

Gosh, I'm freaking out.

First I brew some coffee. I barely function without a cup or two in the morning.

Saturday mornings are usually filled with Charlotte's stories about her online classes.

But today my house is quiet. No sign of life is in it.

I find a recipe book in one of the drawers and I flip through to find the easiest to bake.

Ahh, Pancakes.  Shouldn't be so hard.

I quickly mix the flour, baking soda, salt and sugar in one bowl.

Four eggs, two cups of milk, a spoon of oil and a spoon of vanilla essence in another. And I mix away.

By the time I'm done cleaning up. Mrs Hart walks in.

"What is this I am seeing?" She says smiling.

"I tried to make breakfast." I give her a shy smile.

"Okay. I see you. Do you need any help? I could bathe Ethan." She offers.

I give her a reassuring nod. She happily goes up.

And she does just that.

A few minutes after I'm done cleaning. I go up to check on Gem.

She is in the position that I left her in. It surprises me that she hasn't woken up to shower yet.

"Gem? Come, I made breakfast. " I tell her. She doesnt say anything.

I stand up and I head to the bathroom. I run water into the tun and alot of bubble bath.

When the water is okay.  I go back to my room.

I carry Gemima into my arms and I move her towards the bathroom.

"Please just take a soak and relax. I promise I'll bring food then we could talk." I plead.

She just stands and watches the water. I peel her clothes off and I put her in the tub.

She weeps inside the tub. Her cries tug at my heart. I find myself crying along with her. Feeling the heaviness as I use the sponge to bathe her.

I hear myself crying as well. She weeps and tries to hold her body, her entire structure is trembling.

I carry her out of the tub and into the closet where I clothe her.

I walk back downstairs.

Ethan is playing in the dining area. Mrs Hart is washing some dishes.  I assume she already dished breakfast.

"Those pancakes were delicious.  Almost better than mine." She says in a tone full of humor. But I dont laugh, I cant laugh.

"Son? What's wrong? And why are you wet?" She asks her voice smothered with concern.

"I was bathing her." Is all I can say.

"She still isn't responding? How is she doing though?" She asks.

"I dont know Mom, she lost her children. She didnt even know she was expecting them but she lost them. You wouldnt understand." I say. Feeling very frustrated.

"Sit down let me tell you something." She says pointing at the cotton covered cream couch.

"Mr Hart didnt just die Nathan. Infact he is not dead at all." She starts.

I gasp, she always told the girls that their father died.

"Frank was a truck driver. He'd spend four days away every week. His friend Toby, would come over every evening for dinner. I pitied him after the death of his wife , so I invited him.

There was a year , Eliza was seven and Charlie was just a year old. Frank had just come back from work. He sat with Toby the whole day. I was so excited to tell him that I was pregnant. Waiting and waiting for Toby to leave.

But he didnt. When Frank left to buy a pack of beers. Toby told me that Frank was having an affair.

My heart was shattered Nathan, I was angry at Frank. " she says.

"So you left?" I ask.

"Listen to the story. When Frank came back, he accused me of having an affair with Toby. He told me that Toby confessed his unconditional love for me.

Toby didn't stay for dinner and that was awfully surprising. Frank asked him to take my girls out for ice cream. Toby loved my kids.

Frank waited until they left. Then he punched me. He beat me to a pulp. When I got to the hospital,  they told me it was too late to save the baby.

I was devastated. It was a boy. His name was going to be Daniel. " she says and wipes her tears.

"I'm so sorry Mom. " I say.

"Its alright. But it didnt stop there. I refused to leave Frank. I thought that it was a good thing for the girls to grow up in unstable family. So I stayed with Frank.

Every Friday he would burst home drunk and beat me up. Charlotte and Elizabeth might remember those nights they'd hear yelling. But I never let them see.

One night, he told me he wanted Charlotte.  He told me he wanted to make love to my little Charlie,  who was only two.

When I declined. He asked for Elizabeth. I said no still but that didnt stop him this time. I went to the market to get some bread and butter for Elizabeth's school lunch.

When I noticed how quiet it was–"

"He didnt rape her did he?" I ask feeling the tears almost fall.

"Let me finish. No, he didnt rape her. I found Eliza's door locked. I couldnt let him go through with it. So I knocked down the door.

I told him he could do whatever he wanted to do to those girls on me. So he did it, he assaulted me for a week. When he finally left for work. The girls and I made our escape and we never looked back. " she says.

"Why didnt you tell me?" I ask.

"There is nothing you could have done to change the past. " she simply says.

"I know but–" I begin.

"I'm telling you this story because I want you to be vigilant around that girl up there. She might end up like me." Is all she says before she ups and leaves.