Syameise: So, what, now I'm just supposed to do anything that Whitty does? I mean, what if they jumped off a cliff?

Updike: If Whitty were to jump off a cliff, they would've done their due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Whitty jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.

Syameise: You jump off a cliff!

Updike: Gladly. Provided Whitty did first

~~~

Syameise: Don't worry, I got a plan.

Whitty: Alright.

Syameise: TraitorSayWhat?

Updike: Excuse me?

Syameise: What?

Whitty:

Syameise:

Syameise: No wait-

~~~

(The squad is having dinner together)

Syameise: Whitty, can you pass the salt?

Whitty: (Throws Updike across the table)

~~~

Syameise: What time is it?

Whitty: I don't know; pass me that saxophone and we'll find out

Whitty: (Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune)

Updike: WHO THE F*** IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING

Whitty: It's 2 am

~~~

Syameise: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?

Updike: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-

Whitty: Smad.

~~~

Syameise: I know you snuck out last night, Whitty.

Updike: Play dumb!

Whitty: Who's Whitty?

Updike: NOT THAT DUMB!!!

~~~

Syameise: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.

Whitty: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?

Syameise: Yes!

Updike: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

~~~

Syameise, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!

Whitty, in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you're staying home and having my kids

Updike: what the f*** are you guys doing?

Syameise: playing systemic oppression

~~~

Syameise: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold?

Whitty: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.

Updike: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.

Whitty: Good thinking.

~~~

(NOW FOR JUST UPDIKE AND SY-)

Syameise: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so lets go for 12 more just incase.

Updike: Syameise, that's a coma.

Syameise: Sounds festive.

~~~

Syameise: WHAT'S YOUR TYPE

Updike: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially

Syameise, desperately, as Updike bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Updike: Oh! B positive.

Syameise: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Updike:

~~~

Syameise: I've already sent good vibes your way... they're coming. There's nothing you can do to stop them.

Updike: This is the most threatening way I've ever been cheered up.

~~~

Syameise: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.

Updike: Syameise, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumba**.

Syameise: Thanks.

~~~

Syameise: *Stubs their paw* F***!

Updike: Mind your language!

Syameise: What else am I supposed to say, "Woe is I"???

Updike:

Syameise: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

~~~

Updike: This is such a bad idea.

Whitty: Then why are you coming along?

Updike: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

~~~

(This one is weird when only half of it is seen-)

Whitty: *Gets down on one knee*

Updike: Oh my god, it's finally happening.

Whitty: *Falls over*

Updike: The poison is kicking in.

Syameise: WHAT THE F***- I THOUGHT WHITTY WAS ACTUALLY PROPOSING-

~~~

Syameise: Can you keep a secret?

Updike: Do you know anything about my life?

Syameise: No I do not. Good point.

~~~

Syameise: Updike! My face is on fire!

Updike: Syameise! Are you ok?!

Syameise: Oh yes, I'm fine. I just said that to make sure you'd come in here quickly.

Updike: But your face is on fire.

Syameise: Yes. It's much faster than shaving my friggin fur.

~~~

Syameise: I really like this whole 'good guy, bad guy' thing you guys have going on.

Updike: It's not an act, it's just that I'm mean and Whitty isn't

~~~

Syameise: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me

Whitty: Okay, but in my defense, Updike bet me 50 cents I couldn't drink all that shampoo.

Syameise: That's not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!

~~~

Syameise: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?

Whitty: You're a hazard to society

Updike: And a coward. DO TWENTY.

Syameise: HELL YEAH.

~~~

Syameise: They stole from me first!

Whitty: Mhm.

Syameise: Stole my heart...

Updike: It is still illegal to commit murder.

~~~

Syameise: Tell Whitty about the birds and the bees.

Updike: They're disappearing at an alarming rate.

~~~

Syameise: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.

Whitty: The cow???

Syameise: What?

Updike: Whitty, W H Y?

~~~

Syameise: HELP! I TOLD UPDIKE I'D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN'T COOK!

Whitty, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

~~~

Syameise: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Whitty: I'm a knife.

Updike, from across the room: They're the little spoon.

~~~

*Syameise and Whitty sitting in jail together*

Whitty: So who should we call?

Syameise: I'd call Updike, but I feel safer in jail

~~~

Syameise: Here's a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

Updike: Syameise no.

Whitty: Mistlefoe.

Updike: Please stop encouraging them.

~~~

Syameise: In your opinion, what's the height of stupidity?

Updike: *turning to Whitty* How tall are you?

~~~