So here is some context...

I don't live alone as some of you have put together.  My life partner is named Kumi.  Kumi is a female to male  trans person like myself.  We both have our issues like depression.  So here's the journal entry for today.

Poor Kumi is having a depression flare up tonight and I can't do anything to make him smile.  

I hate this feeling of hopelessness.  I want to make him laugh and smile, but instead I help him get tucked into bed.  I kiss his head and tell him I love him.  It's all I can do, but I wish I could do more.  

I love this man so much.  I'm not even sure he knows how much I love him.  I surrender my heart to him.  So seeing him happy makes me happy.  

Dear Kumi I know you don't read this journal but here's how I feel.    I love you so deeply that nothing would break the amount of love I have for you.  I would take on another car for you.  (In our first year we were together we were struck by a car.) even if I were to leave this world before you I'll be waiting for you.  I don't think there is another person out there that is better then you. Signed Ryu.