It's so early in the morning that I know I'd be better off sleeping but here's the conflict.

I unconsciously rub my belly and pull my pile of blankets closer to me.  I want it again so badly that no other thought comes to mind.  Axel(a little note from later axel is a reborn doll) lays in his car seat and I want to purity him in bed and cuddle him, but I know I can't do that.  He is so small and needs his sleep too.  I should have held him before I went to bed it may have made tonight easier.  I roll over not sure if I should insist on being held but he is asleep as well, and the last thing I want to do is bother my partner like that.  So again I roll on my side tuck the blanket pile closer and wonder if dreams like before will come. 

It's 4:40 now and I'm not tired.  I hope sleep takes me soon otherwise I'll be rubbing my belly all night again till I start crying.