-Sherlock-

Another case solved.

All feelings of calm and content fly out of the window when I hear the door creak open. I'm facing away but I can imagine John stood there, looking tired and drained and most of all sad.

Since last night.. Every time he looks at me, he looks sad. I'm not too sure why. Well, that's a lie. I left him there on the bed after everything..

God. I'm a bad person. I don't deserve John's friendship, never mind anything else.

There's a sharp intake of breath from behind me before John speaks. "We've solved the case. You said we'd talk when the case was over."

I nod and slowly turn around to face John.

I open my mouth to tell John we can't be together, that I'm bad for him and that this will end horribly for both of us because I'm not like others people, I don't work the same way as other people and I'm just not the normal, stable and perfect person that John deserves.

But I don't say any of that and close my mouth again. 

Everything I had planned on saying... It was true. So unbelievably true. Yet I didn't want to say a single word of it. Instead, I want to kiss John and tell him that I will never need anything more than him because he's my everything and has been since he limped his way into my life and shot that cabbie and just turned everything I thought I knew about him on it's head.

I'm not speaking though, am I? I'm just standing here and staring at John, who is quickly looking more and more lost.

"It's okay" John says, suddenly. "This... Last night doesn't need to mean anything. Everything that's happened here.. Well, it can just stay here. What happens in Dartmoor, stays in Dartmoor"

As if his pained words weren't enough.. John also tries to laugh and it's a broken sound that makes a shiver run up my spine and a cold feeling to wrap around my heart, squeezing to the point I have to let out a raspy breath.

"No." That's all I say.

"No?" John asks, both confused and.. hopeful.

"No. We're not going to put all this behind us. I.. I don't want that. And I know you don't either. I.. Last night.. I panicked. This case has been confusing and I don't want this.. us.. to be some holiday-like fling. Being in those moments with you, John... Kissing you, touching you... It was the best and I know everything between us so far has just been physical but it's more than that.. It's us. We're connected, I can feel it. I don't want to ever let that go." I don't think about it, I just let the truth pour from my lips.

John makes a sound that somewhere between a sob and a relieved sigh. Then he launches himself forward and he's in my arms and kissing me, his tears falling onto both our cheeks as he walks forward and pushes me down on the bed.

We break apart for a free second and John is panting. I am too, I think. I don't know. I don't care.

John stares down at me and I stare back. We don't need the words now. All that matters is this, us.

Leaning down, John covers my lips once again. But it's slower this time. Softer. Unrushed and calm. Loving.

Relaxing and letting all the feelings dissolve, I kiss John back just as softly. My hands wonder up his back, fingers tracing his spine as our lips part and our tongues mingle in slow, long, drawn-out kisses filled with what I can only describe as passion and love.

Love. John loves me.

I smile at the thought and kiss John a little harder. There's no protests from John,who returns the pressure and lowers himself so we're pressed flushed against each other as opposed to John hovering over me.

Then, a frown forms on John's face. I pull back, one hand automatically going to his cheek - my thumb moves in circles, trying to soothe John.

"What is it?" He asks softly.

John continues to frown."We don't have anything. No condoms or lube.. We can't.. Not tonight"

I smile and lean up to kiss John's scrunched up nose. "No need to sound so worried. We can do that when we go home."

John's eyes flutter closed and he leans his forehead against my own. I follow his lead and close my eyes, taking in every sensation I can. John's smell, John's touch, the way I can feel his lips hovering over my own. Just.. John.

"I want to have you" John whispers, pout practically audible.

Again, I smile. "You will, I promise. The moment he get home, you can throw me down on my bed and make love to me all night long. We can spend the whole week in bed, for all I care. I'm all yours and I'm not going anywhere"

As I trail off, I place a small kiss to the corner of John's mouth.

I can't see him, I still have my eyes closed, but I feel the slight nod John gives.

"God, Sherlock... Before this case, I didn't even realise that I.."

"That you..?" I question, knowing perfectly well that John was going to say.

"I'm not saying it. Not yet."

It was my turn to pout. "Why not? We both know what you were going to say"

"Just.. Not yet, okay."

I don't get the chance to argue again before John starts to kiss me, slow and sweet and perfect.

"I want to touch you..." John whispers, his hand sliding down to the clasp on my trousers.

All I can do is nod. Yes, God, please, yes.

I'm already half-hard just because of the conversation we'd been having and the mental images that went with it. I couldn't wait to get homed, that was for sure.

"Come on" I urge, pushing my hips up.

"Greedy hussy" John chuckles, undoing my trousers and slowly sliding the zipper down.

I don't even bother to stop and correct John. A hussy is a women and even John isn't stupid even to think that the hard thing pressing against the side of his hand through the fabric of my trousers belongs to a woman.

"Just for you. Come on."

John smiles and leans down to kiss my neck, whispering as he does. "Shh. I have you and I'm going to make this good"

That's when John slides down so his face is hovering over my crotch.

Is he...

Oh, God. He is.