[TRIGGER WARNING - EATING DISORDER DISCUSSED - READ AT YOUR OWN RISK]

Sturdy fingers turned the dial to the correct numbers three times - 16, 2 and 11 - while the brunette owner hummed along to the soft melody of Taylor Swift's single, Mine.

The metal groaned in protest as Camden yanked it open, on the first try in a long time might she add, and quickly shoved her front against her open locker to block the avalanche of study materials from tumbling to the linoleum floor.

"Oh, not again," she groans, wincing as the locker door bangs against her cast-covered arm.

In just the past hour alone, she had managed to hit the bulky plaster against every doorway, car and person she's encountered. 

She's been trying to account for the additional weight on her right arm when adjusting the swing of her arms as she moves around. However, she keeps overshooting it and causing more harm to her injury despite the vibrant plaster put there as a reminder for her brain to be mindful. 

Using her left arm, the Sawyer girl hastily shoves at the books and papers until they're jammed back into the rectangular, metal box. She bends down and lifts the few sheets of papers that had managed to fall in a whirlwind of white. 

They were mostly graded practice tests with suggested improvements she should make before the end of year exams. There was also a flyer for Washington State University given to her from the school guidance counsellor, Ms Tracey.  

It was mandatory for seniors to schedule a minimum of three sessions with her to discuss future plans after graduation and extra measures some students - including Camden - would need to take in order to graduate with a scholarship.

In Camden's case, she'd need to either join an after school club like the year book committee or wood shop for her to be able to apply for a graduate consideration. However, considering Camden's lack of a steady hand, Ms Tracey had suggested applying for the TA position with Coach Clapp for the seniors and freshman during her study periods.

A semester worth of being a TA would been Camden would not only pass the half-tuition scholarship application, but she could be considered for a full-ride for the entire four-years.  

Each year, only four students are offered a full-tuition scholarship and if Camden applied for the TA position, she could have a lead in scoring one of those seats.

Camden claws at the papers with both hands, wincing at the strain the movement causes beneath the green cast. 

Straightening up with a click in her knees, she shoves the stack of papers on top of the pile of books and binders. Bracing the top half of the leaning stack with her left hand, the brunette  wiggles her geometry textbook from the middle and replaces it quickly with her psychology one. 

She made a mental self promise to clean it out within the next week to avoid another explosion of paper and plastic.

A hand grasps the back of her raincoat and tugs her backwards, erupting a surprised grunt from Camden as she's spun around to face her cousin as the locker slams shut beside her.

"What the hell, Joan?" Camden asks, her voice in a low whisper.

"What the fuck is this?!" Joan hisses in response, holding up a crumpled piece of blue paper in her face, ignoring Camden's previous question.

Pushing down the irritation building in her chest, Camden chooses to try and defuse the tension between them. "A piece of paper. Honestly, Joan. How are you ever going to graduate if you don't understand basic human knowledge?"

Joan's once mildly upset face forms into the signature enraged scowl. Her upper lip curls, baring her teeth like one would associate with a hissing cat and her eyes narrow into slits. 

"It's your therapy bill."

Camden freezes and sets her face into one of indifference, slowly piecing together her cousin's rage. 

"That's addressed to Aunt Gina about me. Why are you opening it?" Camden questions, stepping forward so that they're only a foot away from one another, glancing around the crowded hallway in worry. 

If someone were to overhear their conversation, it would be the talk of the town for weeks to come. She's been down that road once and refuses to revisit it. 

Camden turns back to her cousin and hardens her gaze at the accusatory glance being sent her way. She reaches forward and snatches the bill from Joan's outstretched hand and tugs her backpack over her right shoulder with the other hand. 

"It's almost a grand for just two sessions! You really think its okay for you to put this kind of financial pressure on my mum? You may not see it but I do, okay?!" Joan hisses, her voice a couple octaves lower than before. 

Camden lets out a scoff, clumsily stuffing the object of their argument into her open backpack. "Gina and I have it handled. It's not causing any strain on her!"

The younger girl lets out a scoff and jabs a crooked finger against Camden's sternum. "Oh really? Where's the money coming from then? You still live at home at nineteen and don't have a job."

Camden bites her tongue, holding herself back from lashing out at her cousin. 

She was never an openly aggressive girl, yet the past month since  breaking her arm in the meadow, the Sawyer girl found herself growing enraged over the smallest of things.

Just last week, Camden cursed out a tree trunk for being in her way as she was walking on the sidewalk. Even now, she could feel her eyes squinting at Joan and her fist clenching at her side. 

Joan had no place to tell her what she should be doing with her life considering her own. Sure, Camden hasn't had a job since she was living with Anita because her Aunt and therapist argued against it. 

While living with Anita, Camden was working as a delivery girl for the Carver Cafe for six months. It didn't allow her much of a pay check but it was a small distraction from the troubles she was experiencing at home.

Dr. Cheng suggested that while she was still recovering, she should avoid job searching in case it were to prove as a trigger. 

Meanwhile, Joan hasn't even written herself a resume yet - despite it being a requirement for her society assignment. 

Camden looks at her cousin in silent shock, blinking harshly in hopes that she was only joking and she understood the severity of her situation. Joan's behaviour was out of character and Camden found herself wondering where the younger girl who giggled over Garfield comic strips each morning disappeared to.

"What has gotten into you, Joan? Since clearly my word that Aunt Gina isn't struggling because of me, alone, you can ask her. I'm not explaining myself to you," Camden shakes her head, stepping back from her cousin, holding back the urge to rub the aching spot on her sternum.

"Oh come on, Camden," she freezes, registering the use of her full name. 

The last time Joan used her full name was because she had embarrassed her in front of Eric at last year's end of year dance. Joan told her she was admitting her feelings to Eric earlier that day and so when she saw the two dancing together, the slightly tipsy Camden congratulated them both.

It turns out that Joan meant she was going to tell her girlfriends and not Eric. It was a mistake that Camden quickly owned up to without hesitation but attending therapy was one she would never seek forgiveness for. 

"You haven't needed therapy in years, you're just milking it at this point. You struggled with eating, big deal. I understood it when we were younger but you've had plenty of time to overcome it. Hundreds of girls in this school get uncomfortable with eating but at least they have the dignity to keep quiet about it."

Camden opens and closes her mouth, registering that the once busy hallway was slowly silencing at her cousin's words. However, this doesn't stop Joan as she quickly continues, her voice rising. 

"I just don't get why you can't? A lot of people have mummy issues. It's been years, move on already!"

Camden blinks at her cousin in shock, pinching the skin beneath her cast in hope that the brief pain would wake her from this awful nightmare.

A gasp echoes throughout the now silent corridor from behind Camden and she feels arms encircle around her waist, tugging her backwards into a smaller body. 

"That's enough," Bella Swan's voice is fierce and her hold is steady against Camden's trembling frame.

Joan's eyes widen and she slaps her hands against her own mouth in shock. The older girl can see the guilt etched across her cousin's face at her own words and Camden waits briefly for an apology to spill from her lips. 

Instead, Joan lowers her hands and tilts her chin upwards in defiance, glaring at Camden steadily.

It seemed that Camden was once again being turned on by her own blood. She briefly wonders how long it will take her Aunt Gina to come to the same conclusion her daughter has before dismissing the thought. 

Gina would never. She doesn't know what or who has gotten into Joan's mind but she knew that her cousin loved her deep down and at this moment in time, the best thing for their relationship was space.

"I think it's best if I take my leave now, before we both say something we'll regret," Camden speaks up, clearing her throat in an attempt to stable her voice as it shakes unsteadily.

"Why don't we just air it all out now? Are you scared-" Joan's unrelenting taunt is cut off as Bella lifts a hand, palm up in between the three of them. 

"Don't," Bella warns lowly and spins them around, walking in the direction of the cafeteria. 

Leaning into the younger girl's grip, Camden cradles her right arm to her sternum, rubbing against the spot where Joan's finger had jabbed only moments prior. 

Sure, Joan hadn't physically harmed her but her words felt like a brick to the chest. 

Camden felt her chest tighten at the reminder of Joan's public mention of Anita and slows her breathing down purposefully just like Dr. Cheng taught her.

1...2...3...inhale. 1...2...3 hold. 

She repeated the counting technique to exhale before focusing on the feeling of Bella breathing beside her and the feeling of her own hand against her chest.

It was an unspoken agreement to never speak of Anita to her and especially in a public place. Forks was a small town and practically everyone knew about her struggle but she preferred not to mention it outside of the house or at all really, and Joan of all people knew this.

Yet, only minutes prior, she was unloading Camden's personal business in front of a hallway of students. Students who would then tell other students, who would be overheard by teachers who would tell their friends and soon enough, the entire town would be in on the fact that Anita still held power over Camden Sawyer.

The cafeteria doors swing open as Bella releases her waist and pushes against the metal and wooden obstruction before them. 

Camden takes this moment to observe the irremovable scowl on Bella's face as she guides them through the frozen onlookers by the entrance.

She saw the same determination in her gaze that would appear every time Jacob Black or the pack would bring the Cullens into the conversation or if the pack would tease Jacob. However, now it was for Camden and she allowed herself to smile. 

While they didn't meet under the best or most normal circumstances, she was glad she would graduate her senior year with her best friend by her side.

"Cam!" Bella's hand latches onto her left shoulder causing the Sawyer girl to let out a surprised grunt. 

At the familiar face, Camden allows herself to relax under her hold.

"I'm so sorry I didn't get there sooner. I was waiting in the cafeteria for you when I heard some Juniors speaking about two girls who sounded like you and Joan. I wish I got there sooner, are you okay?" Bella tugs Camden into a bear hug and huffs furiously in against her ear, blowing a stray curl away at the same time. "Joan had no right."

Camden hugs back with a frown. "I know she didn't but she found my therapy bill and got mad, I guess."

The two girls pull away from one another and the youngest begins to study the other in concern. Noticing the look, Camden gives Bella a strained smile. "We'll be okay in a few days. We always are."

Camden doesn't hear Bella's response but the tone of doubt tugs her own as Joan's words filter through her brain once more. 

Did her cousin really think she was milking her ptsd from her eating disorder for the past few years?

This thought brings on a wave of tears and Bella does nothing but tighten her jaw and link their arms together on her left as she guides the upset girl to the empty Cullen table. 

Camden sniffles out a pitiful laugh as she reminisces the way Joan would make small games out of eating for her when Chief Swan first took her to live with Gina. 

Joan wouldn't pressure Camden to eat and would always, always, eat small meals in front of her but it was always more than what was on Camden's plate to not aid her in feeling greedy. 

It helped Camden gain courage and security both in eating meals in front of others and for herself, especially since Joan wouldn't object to eating a second dinner when the older Sawyer went to bed.

It encouraged Camden to continue with her recovery to see her younger cousin be able to eat just one dinner a night in one sitting before her and the curry sauce coated grin Joan gave her was definitely worth her effort. 

Soon after her first accomplishment, Joan coaxed her into small food competitions like who could eat their vegetables first to get the extra bread roll or the biggest serving of desert. It was nice. 

It helped make some recovery days fun instead of overly daunting or anxiety ridden like the majority contained.

Did Joan think she was being difficult and draining her aunt Gina of their finances this entire time? Camden wonders to herself. Surely, she would've spoken up earlier and Gina would've spoken to the both of them about it. 

After all, that anger would've needed time to build - as did her speech. 

Perhaps, Joan resented her for taking up her Aunt's time because it meant less for Joan?

Whatever the reason was for Joan's suddenly expressed anger, Camden would question her about the origin in a few days. 

They would both do well with some space for the time being. After all, Joan and Camden were as close as sisters and occasionally they stepped on each other's toes but they would always be okay.

( N O T E )

Here's an update like I promised and thank you again for 1K reads on Shared Glances, it means the world to me. 

Also, peep the Fearless (Taylor's version) reference in the starting line. I love the vault tracks and her re-released versions so much.

Please let me know if you liked it or not. Feedback is appreciated.

Love you.

(18/04/21)