📍Central, Warwick Avenue
Taxi Stand

JODIE

“Morning,” I mutter, looking over at him as soon as I settle into the passenger seat, my body taking a moment longer to adjust to the AC.

Dario doesn’t look at me. His fingers drum lightly against the steering wheel, his other hand resting on his thigh.

"Seat belt," he says flatly, voice low, distant.

Not even a glance.

Mrr.

My heart starts racing.

Inhaling a discreet breath, to calm my nerves, I pull the belt over my chest, the click of the buckle loud in the thick silence.

He'd turned off the music the moment I approached the car, earlier.

That's apparently the confirmation he needs, since as soon as my belt is buckled, he pulls off from the sidewalk and up the avenue.

My brows furrow.

Where is he even going?

...see him deh, ask him nuh.

I turn slightly, watching him.

His face is blank. Common assault. But his eyes…they are different. Unlike their usual emptiness, today, they hold a weight in them.

Something I've never seen before.

I swallow hard. "Dario——"

He exhales slowly, cutting me off.

"Mi jus’ need fi drive out likkle."

His voice is low. Rough.

I don’t know what I expected to hear, when he didn't even let me finish my statement, but a dat mi get. Like him know wah mi did ago ask.

I nod, barely, and settle back into the seat.

The car continues to move.

Glancing through the rear view mirror, I watch as the familiar buildings fade behind us.

Den look pon mi weh get up this morning wid the sole intention fi go do mi hair and nails fi school tomorrow.

Ah boi.

.                         .                          .

Buildings flicker past in a blur, the city shrinking in the rearview mirror as Dario speeds ahead.

Neither of us saying a word.

I should say something. Ask where exactly we're going, or why I'm even in here. Especially considering how he blew me off just last night. But the tension in the car is so thick, it feels like it's pressing down on my chest, squeezing the breath out of my lungs.

Plus, his attitude alone tells me he's not in the mood for the long talking either.

Dario grips the steering wheel tightly, his jawline set. His usual calm has cracks in it now. I can see it in the way his fingers flex, the way his eyes flick to the rearview mirror ever so often.

I force down the lump in my throat and wet my lips. "Dario, yuh plan fi tell mi wah really a gwaan wid yuh?"

His grip tightens.

"Noth'n," he says, voice flat. "Tell yuh say mi jus’ did need fi drive outta di place likkle bit."

Watchya! Hello? "Drive go weh?"

Mi did tell yuh seh me a look drive out?

Silence.

Den yuh see di audacity?

I exhale through my nostrils, my frustration bubbling. "Look, sir, if yuh jus’ did waan go pon a drive out, yuh coulda pick anybody else fi siddung inna yuh front seat. Why me? Mi look like mi n'ave noth'n fi do? Or noweh fi go?"

And the worse part is, mi a try talk to him and him not even have manners enough fi act like smaddy a chat to him!

I hiss my teeth loudly, the emotions from last night returning.

The car slows slightly.

Then he glances at me, just for a second, before looking back at the road.

I swear I saw something flashed in his eyes, but it went quicker than it came.

"Mi nuh know," he says, afterwards voice low. I guess he's addressing my initial question. "Mi just…" He trails off, shaking his head.

I watch him, my stomach knotting up.

I can see he's fighting to hold back. He's clearly in pain. Emotional turmoil issa hell of a t'ing eno...

"Something happen." I firmly say. I'm not asking. "A 'bout Gravy...?"

I know what Tash said is true. I have no more reason to doubt it. But I want him to give me something more than he did last night.

His fingers tap the steering wheel, the only sound in the car besides the engine's hum.

Then, finally——

"Yeah."

I knew it. My chest tighten.

Shifting completely in my seat, I study him: the way his shoulders tense, the way he exhales slowly, the way his jaw ticks.

I honestly don’t know if I'm ready to hear the answer.

But I ask anyway.

"Wah yuh do, Dario?"

I hope that it came out less judgemental than I meant it. I don't want him to feel as if I'm judging him for one bad decision. Although, to be honest, I kinda am.

The air in the car stills.

Dario doesn’t answer me right away. He keeps driving, the sunlight, that manages to penetrate through the untinted section of the windscreen, casting shadows over his face, making him look even more closed off.

My heart is beating hard and fast, my fingers subconsciously gripping the crossbody bag resting on my lap.

He's shutting back down. I can feel it. See it. Sense it.

"Jus' tell mi," I say again, my voice much softer this time. "Wah yuh do?"

He swallows hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing. I glance out the window, noting where we are. I read the name on the building to my left as we pass. Constant Spring Police Station.

Constant Spring?

A when we even reach yasso?

The car pulls to a stop where the small road meets the main, as the filter light changes to red.

Dario releases the steering and reclines in the driver seat. Then, low——so low I almost don't hear——he finally answers.

"Mi kill him."

I already had my suspicions, yet still my stomach drops.

His confession settles in my chest like lead. Cold. Heavy.

I stare at him.

I should've expected it. Dario had never been normal. That's not news. He'd been known to have a temper too. Plus, him an' Law Boss a roll inna di same paranoia. Guess that's why he's his fave DJ.

So, I guess I shouldn't be surprised he's capable of murdering someone when that's all his idols promote.

But still——hearing it? Out of his own mouth?

Hits differently.

I find it hard to breathe properly.

"Who?" My voice comes out barely more than a whisper. I know. He knows that I know. I know he knows that I know, yet still...

His grip tightens on the wheel once the light goes green. "Gravy."

I blink.

Gravy had been a father figure to this man more than his own father had been, long before he himself was killed. Gravy was one of them who saw the same potential in him that I did. He ensured he went to school, whenever his mother fell short on funds. He looked out for him in the streets. And even when Lester called for Dario, Gravy was the one who looked out for him and made sure he wasn't targeted.

So, fi him fi turn 'round and kill him...how could this be real?

My mouth goes dry.

"Dario…"

He exhales, his fingers curling around the steering wheel. "Mi know wah yaggo say. But mi did affi do it, Jodz."

Shaking my head, I sigh, my heart thudding at his use of his nickname for me. I push the feeling away. "Affi? Wha' yuh mean affi?!"

His jaws clench, and when he speaks, it sounds almost…pained. "Mi neva have nuh choice, yo. Lester gi' di order. If mi never do it…" He trails off, shaking his head.

"If yuh neva do it, what?"

My body feels numb. I wait for him to answer.

He clears his throat. "Juss lowe it yasso. Zeen?"

Of course you'd do that...

I turn my head, staring out the window, my mind still racing.

We're now going up Old Stony Hill Road.

I contemplate telling him to turn ‘roun, carry me back home, leave me out of whatever this is.

But I don’t.

Instead, I just sit there, my breath shallow, fiddling with the zipper of my bag.

My thoughts drum up all kinds of things.

Then a realization sets in.

Dario is no longer just a troubled hothead youth who plays at being bad just for the sake of it, anymore.

Him deep inna it now.

And if mi nuh careful—

I might get caught up in it too.

Nope, cyaa mek that happen a rahtid. He may not realize the consequences of his actions, but I have so much left to live for.

So, if mi neva agree before, this concretize di fact say mi affi go mi separate ways now more than ever.

I feel sick to my stomach.

I'm hungry now too.

Only thing go a mi mouth from morning a di likkle Ting.

If gas nuh tek mi up today yah, mi nuh name wah mi name.

I can barely hear the hum of the engine or the tires rolling over the bumpy asphalt. Everything in my head feels like static——white noise crashing against my skull, my stomach in knots.

I pull out my phone to distract myself.

My eyes catch the time on the screen. Minutes to ten.

Rass!

And my appointment in Half Way Tree was set for ten. Yet, here I am going in the opposite direction.

Then all you nuh easy eeh!

Using face ID to unlock the device, I quickly click on WhatsApp, finding Chin's chat. She's the nail tech I've been using since recently. About two months now. When yuh say bad, a she that! Seeing she was last online a few minutes ago, I start typing.

ME: Hey, Beb, sorry for the late notice. Something came up and I have to deal with it. Don't think I'll make it for my appointment at ten. Sorry fi the inconvenience. 😔

I hit send.

Cyaa believe mi put off my nails fi this. If mi ano di biggest man tettae there is! Might as well write it pon piece a paper and glue it pon mi forehead to rahtid.

I hiss my teeth in my head but it comes out loudly.

Drawing Dario's attention to me. His jaw tense. Eyes narrowed. "Yuh good?"

Why yuh concerned?

"Mi good, man," I snap, my attention going back to my phone.

Shit.

"Jodie," he says again, voice low, strained. "Mi nuh waah yuh look pan mi nuh different eno."

Yuh just a think 'bout that? Too late.

I let out a shaky breath. "Different?" I then turn my head so I can stare at him properly.

He's still as handsome as ever. Smooth dark chocolate skin, well groomed goatee, framing his square chin, above it, his plump lips curled downwards into a frown. He's wearing a long-sleeved white polo shirt, the edges of his arm tattoos peeking out at the hems of the sleeves. On his wrist sits a golden watch, which complements the gold chain around his neck. His blue jeans is fitted and ripped at the knees. And on his feet is a matching blue and white Airforce.

He looks positively delicious. I'd been so caught up earlier, I hadn't even taken notice.

Ehem!

Bringing my eyes back up to meet his, I continue saying, "Dario, yuh just tell mi seh yuh kill a man. Mi fi look pan yuh how?"

He flinches, just a little, but enough for me to spot it.

I fold my arms tightly across my chest, my skin covered in goosebumps ——whether from the AC or something else, I don't know.

"Gravy did rate yuh eno, D. He treated you like a son. And yuh——" My voice cracks slightly, but I push through. "Yuh really pull di trigger just so?"

Silence.

A whole heap a silence, as a matter of fact. I sigh again, turning back to the window. I watch as the hills roll past. The view from here is breathtaking.

The car comes to a sudden stop, at the edge of a hillside cliff. Dario pulls back the hand brake and sighs.

Then he finally speaks, saying, "Ano so this t'ing go eno, badman.’"

I scoff. "So tell mi how it go then!"

He releases an exasperated sigh in response. "Jodien, mi cyaan——"

Hear full government...!

"Mi nuh wah hear dat!" My voice comes out sharp, my chest rising and falling fast. Since yuh waa chat, mek mi address yuh properly. "Yuh cyaan tell mi di first part an’ lef mi inna di dark fi di rest! Yuh drag mi inna dis, Dario! So finish it."

He licks his lips, fingers tapping an unfamiliar rhythm on the wheel now. The muscles in his face flex continuously. It's almost like him a war wid himself, internally.

He probably is.

But I don't care.

He's not a child. I don't plan on babysitting anybody's big ole son.

You did the do, you must be able to talk about it like a man.

Tearing my focus away from his lips, I clear my throat. Focus, gyal. "If yuh nah tell mi, let mi outta di car."

He slams his fist against the steering and the horn blares so loudly, the sound echoes over the hills.

Frightened as fuck, my body jumps, lurching forward, my hands fly up to catch myself against the dashboard. My neck snaps to him. "The fuck!"

"Go easy nuh!" Dario hisses, without facing me. He then turns to me, finally looking me dead in my eyes.

He plops back against the leather seat, pinching his nose. "Look...mi did affi do it," he says, voice low and coarse. "As mi say, Lester gi' di order. Mi never have a choice, Jodie."

I shake my head. "Yuh always have a choice."

That's the perks of living in a democratic country.

A strange glint flashes in his eyes, and for the first time tonight, his voice gets sharp. Cold. Deadly, when he says, "Yuh fucking t'ink so? If mi never do it, mi dead! Simple."

Before I can react, he adds, "Mi nuh live ina di same world like yuh, Jodie. Mi cyaan just walk weh and play innocent whenever mi bloodclaat feel like it. Yuh t'ink Lester did a go seh, ‘ahh Dario, yuh nuh up fi it? Alright, next time.’ eeh? Yuh betta fucking know say ano so it  work, oh. It was either kill or be killed."

My lungs squeeze tight.

Dario turns his head away, eyes back to staring at the empty road ahead. This place is kinda lonely. Mostly bushes.

If he kills me out of anger, he could easily dump my body and no one would know.

I shudder at the thought.

Seemingly watching me through his peripheral, he sighs. "Yuh cold?"

I'm freezing.

"Not really," I tell him, instead.

Still, he reaches over, hand stretching across my lap, and rolls my window down. As he moves, I catch a whiff of his cologne. Nice yuh fret.

He sighs again, settling back into his former position and pressing the button to shut off the air. Thank God!

"Gravy did know."

My eyebrows pull together at his unexpected statement. Wah? "Know what?"

"Him did know seh di order come."

Seriously? I feel my stomach churn. "And him still——?"

Dario nods, just once. "Him come link mi 'bout it the same night, and mi couldn't hide it. Although him did done sense it long before mi even say ray. A him tell mi fi do it last night. Mi neva waa do shit! But..." He exhales again.

My heart is doing a mile a minute in my chest.

"Anyway, di man siddung and wait pon mi fi fawud last night, as planned. Him mek sure smoke and drink and wul a vibez all night. 'Til mi go fi page him. Him see mi walk ova wid di gun, and all him say was, ‘Mi proud a yuh, yute.’ Then him siddung pon the concrete step, tek one last sip a Guinness, and wait fimmi pull di fucking trigger."

My hand flies to cover my mouth. "Jesus Christ."

Is a mad man!?

The air inside of the car feels even heavier now, like all the oxygen has been sucked out.

I stare at Dario. I have no clue what to do with this information.

Yes, man, nuff yuh nuff.

Or even how to view Dario, after hearing this...

I rub my sweaty palm over my jean-cladded thigh. A thought pops into my head. "So wah yuh ago do now, D?" My voice barely makes it past my lips.

Dario swallows hard, from where he's leaning back in his seat, eyes locked on the view through the windshield. He shrugs. "Mi nuh know."

Ah boi.

I close my eyes for a second. "Lester ago waa put yuh as him right hand now doh?"

"Probably."

A shudder runs through my body. My eyes snap open. "Seriously?"

I'd been hoping he'd say no.

Dario finally turns and looks at me. "Him ago need smaddy fi replace Gravy."

My lips feel chapped. Mi thirsty yuh fret! "So wah'pn to the bagga man dem him have 'round him? Why him nuh pick one a dem?"

Silence.

I rub my hands together, staring down at my outgrown nails, my mind racing. "Dario…yuh nuh affi do dis eno. Yuh 'fraid fi tell him?"

Wouldn't you be?

The man sitting across from me releases a rough breath. "Wish it was that easy. But it's not. Mi nuh have nuh choice inna dis, yuzeet."

I scoff. "Dat a foolishness."

His jaw clench. "Tell ya'ready...yuh nuh understand."

I hum.

And my reaction makes him hiss his teeth. "Mi already inna it deep, Jodie. Juss listen nuh. Mi cyaan back out now. Lester nuh business 'bout mi feelings, yo, or 'bout mi regrets. All dem man deh business wid a fi know say when him set an order, it get followed through. Hell or high waters. Yuh t'ink him ago just lef mi alone now? Fuck no! And dat a juss dat."

I stare at him, my heart pounding. "So yuh plan fi just——keep doing dis? Keep killing fi him?"

"Who that remind yuh of?" I add.

He doesn’t answer right away. Because he knows it's true.

So I reach over and touch his arm, my fingers barely brushing against his skin. "Dario, mi know yuh. Mi know yuh nuh waa none a dis..."

He's being forced into this.

And for what? To show loyalty?

To stink mouth, soggy balls Lester?

Steups.

His eyes fleet to my hand on his, staring at it for a while, before he finally brings his gaze back to my face, eyes dark, unreadable.

He scoffs bitterly, turning his head away. "Mi did wah whole heap a t'ings inna dis fucked up life, Jodie. But mi never get fi choose none a dem."

"Choose me..."

His attention snaps back to me. He stares at me long and hard, making my cheeks heat up.

Why the hell did I say that?

Dario's mouth opens as if to say something, but before he can voice it, a heavy vibration cuts him off.

It's his phone, vibrating from where it is in the cup holder.

I look at it the same time he does.

Studying the name which flashes on the caller ID.

Lester.

The car instantly feels colder, despite the warm air seeping in from outside.

Dario hesitates, then picks it up. "Yeah?"

There's a long pause. I can’t hear the voice on the other end, but I can see how Dario's face hardens.

"Mi deh pon di road," he responds to whatever was said, tone flat. Another pause.

I subconsciously hold my breath.

He hums.

Then——

"Mi soo' fawud."

Shortly afterwards, he hangs up, gripping the phone tightly before tossing it back into the cup holder.

I swallow hard. "Weh him waah?"

"Rather not say."

O...K then.

My phone buzzes in my hand, breaking my attention away from him and bringing it to it.

There's a pop-up message on the screen.

Chiney Nailz Clock Tower: Oh, sorry fi hear that, mi baby. A so it go.

Another one comes in shortly behind it.

Chiney Nailz Clock Tower:  Although if yuh really waan get them done, my schedule isn't packed today. Can pencil yuh in fi later.

See why mi affi love her?

I quickly reply telling her 'OK, later is good'.

My smile stretches.

And tha' man yah better know a him a carry mi go Half Way Tree too. Oh.

"Yuh good ova desso?"

"Awah?"

"You mi see a look pon yuh phone and a smile, so mi affi ask."

Yuh jealous?

"Yes, I'm fine. Was just rescheduling my nails appointment you forced me to miss this morning."

"Mi?"

"So a who?"

"How mi do that now?" he asks, sporting a small smirk.

"Then a who come scrape mi up offa the roadside 'bout dem waa drive out? Carry mi way up inna Stony Hill bush from morning 'til now? When I had a ten o'clock appointment, mind you." The more I talk, the more my own smile spreads.

Dario chuckles and it warms my heart. The tension around us breaks. He scratches his beard, twirling the hairs around his fingers. "A so it did go nuh?"

I roll my eyes.

He shuffles and starts the engine. "Alright, miss thing, mek mi carry yuh back before yuh crucify mi den."

I blush.

"By the way," he continues when he pulls off, turning the car around to go back down the hill, "why yuh nuh deh school today?"

"My classes are from Tuesday to Friday." And who glad fi the likkle day off like me?

"Oh."

I hum.

"So how school a gwaan?"

"It's OK I guess."

"Wah yawh study again? Early childhood?"

"Mi? Nosah, yuh mad? Mi change mi mind how long now. A do Level three Office and Business Admin instead."

People pickney too annoying and mi have a temper.

Joshaun, my little brother, is as close as I'll tolerate and he's almost twelve. Soon do PEP and gone a high school. Eh likkle pissing-tail bwoy a turn big man already.

I attend the HEART Academy in Stony Hill. Been enrolled for almost a year now. Just couple months left. Course soon done. Thank God!

"Zeen."

"Mhm."

We go silent again.

And I open Instagram.

Instantly a plate of food jumps out at me.

My belly rumbles. Very loudly. Jesus Christ!

My eyes widen when I hear Dario's soft chuckle. Mi shame!

"Wah yuh waa fi eat?"

Him couldn't nuh hear? "I'm fine. When mi reach Treez mi get sum'n."

He hums, pulling to a stop at the red light at the T-junction between Old and New Stony Hill Road. Nuh 'memba wah dem call yasso.

I peer over at him, surprised he doesn't push the food issue.

The light changes soon afterwards, and he speeds through. Police always deh yasso, but not today. Thankfully. Because mi know dem woulda must ticket him likkle while.

I sigh, feeling relieved when we're back at Manor Park.

The corridor at the bus stop is lined with coasters, horns blaring all around. I smile. Then furrow my brows when I see Dario turn left, instead of continuing straight ahead, going into the gas station.

"Yaggo buy gas?" My eyes find the needle. It's almost full.

He doesn't respond, simply driving past the gas station. One Krispy Kreme deh yasso now? I think as he continues further into the compound.

He pulls up and parks in an empty space, in front of KFC.

The aroma immediately tickles my nostrils.

My belly rumbles again like the traitor it is.

Mi love KFC bad eno...!

The clicking sound draws my attention over to Dario in time to see him unbuckling his seat belt.

"Weh yawh go?" I ask when he picks up his phone and feels for his wallet.

Without as much as a grunt in my direction, he pushes the door open and steps out.

Watchya! A miself mi a talk to?

"Dario!" I pout.

Yuh know say...not even a say noth'n.

I swear he's gone until I see him pop his head back through the opened door. "Yah?"

"Where are you going?"

I hate repeating myself.

He glares at me. Then straightens his stance.

"Dario!" I hiss my teeth. "Stop nuh!"

"Like yuh waa miss yuh appointment again. Come outta the car and fawud nuh, badman!"

Hate the fucka yussi.

...joke, mi still inlove wid the likkle tough face, emotionally detached wicked bwoy.

I sigh.

After pleasing myself a while longer, I unbuckle my seat belt and exit the car, careful not to slam the door despite wanting to.

Cyaa tek no more problems fi di day.

Dario smirks when he sees me, clicking the fob in his hand to lock the doors.

And I roll my eyes.

"Them shoulda bloodclaat stuck inna yuh head," he teases.

I'm glad he's smiling.

I roll my eyes again for emphasis. "Chat yawh chat, man...!"

He turns on his heels and walks ahead, not before saying over his shoulder, "Yo, lock chat and fawud, man."

Uno hear how him disgusting and rude?

Alright.

Juss fi that...

Watch how mi ago mek him pocket bun him today.