The difference between me and
scolding teachers and 
annoyed parents and 
bitchy classmates and
text messages written all in caps 
is that I 
could
always. 

I could raise my voice at any time. 
Yell at every single one of them. 
Tell them exactly what I think about their
stupid games
annoying sounds
hurtful words
conceited attitudes. 

Instead, I plaster my face with a smile and agree. 

I could dig at them whenever. 
Find their weak spots and hit where it hurts most. 
Speak in a low voice, a smile on my face, watch them 
duck
crumple
cave in
realise. 

Instead, I bite my tongue and let them talk. 

I could hit them so easily. 
Not let them get by unaffected as always. 
I could let my anger get the better of me and 
punch
kick
pull
push.

Instead, I clench my fists and turn away. 

The difference between me and 
blinking heart emojis and 
reassuring smiles and 
awkward hugs and
friendly words 
is that I 
don't
always
mean
it.