"Because of the thorns
A beautiful rose can bloom
Dark red flowers, it means I love you
Even if I bleed everywhere, I wanna know you
Cause I think about you errday
I'm already addicted to you" - MONSTA X- Beautiful, 2017

When Jimin heads back to the company studio long after everyone has left, he tries his best not to make it too obvious that he was there.

He made it a mission to not bump into anyone as he got to the soundproof walls of the dance studio.

He heard music coming from one of the studios and assumed it might be Yoongi, Hoseok, or Namjoon composing or relistening some songs from the album to make sure that it was from the new album... Or maybe it was Hoseok getting ready to release his mixtape, finally.

The thought of Yoongi's staying up and listening to music this late at night, but he did this when he was feeling something, whether it was bad or not, he pulled all-nighters like this.

They were both falling back into old habits...

They were already falling apart...

|-|-|

Yoongi's P.O.V.

I stayed back in the studio tonight with the excuse that I just wanted to relisten to the songs on the album to make sure they were absolutely perfect, although I knew they already were.

I just wanted to get out of meeting Jimin in the hallways or something while we were leaving. He usually wasn't that far away even after last night.

But last night, Jimin had left me and I had gone out to drink... I made myself a bit more concealed because I didn't want my one seeing Min Yoongi of BTS at a bar and drowning his sorrows in alcohol. That would've sent out a terrible message to fans and would've been bad publicity for our company which is small and doesn't need bad publicity when they have good groups to their name, BTS might disband because of one terrible decision, so he was lucky that Namjoon and Hoseok had found him before he had gotten too far deep and done something he might regret.

I really needed an excuse to just go by myself and to just be by myself in my safe space. No one is allowed to interrupt or interact me while the rap line is in their safe spaces unless there is specific permission given, in which here, it was not,and for once I was actually thankful for that being here, because I could get the slight alone time I needed without anyone thinking I was doing something terrible.

I lean in my seat and reach for my drink bag, I pull out a bottle of something that I probably mistook for water when I went out last night, but hey, that's not really my fault, now is it?

Or maybe it is.

You probably fucked something up again to get Jimin to leave you, and it figures.

You even mistook alcohol for water, that just shows how desperate you are to run away from your problems.

I glare down at the bottle before popping the cap with brute force and gulping down a few fiery gulps that burned my throat.

I smile at the drink. I know I can barely handle more than maybe a quarter of the bottle, but I could force myself to handle more than that. I would assert dominance over my body by telling it I'll decide when the fuck he's had enough.

I took another few gulps before slamming down the bottle and nearly getting some all over my desk.

"Damn it!"

I take off my headphones and rub my temples trying to sort out my thought for the next moment.

I hear booming music from one of the practice rooms, but I think nothing about it and think that it's probably one of the trainees or maybe it's a member of that new boy group Bighit is thinking of making, Six Aces I believe they're called?

I don't go to check it out although maybe if they're a trainee, they could learn something from their hyung.

You know, it's kind of narcissistic to think of yourself as whoever's hyung that might be there.

Do you think you're above everyone?

That explains a lot.

I take the last few sips from the bottle and try my best to drown the voice out. I'm not going to let it get to me.

But you already are...

I put my headphones back on and puts up my volume a bit so I don't have to hear it over the art that is music.

I begin to mindlessly erase everything that has to do with Jimin from off my computer. I try my best to go through it without regretting everything.

But then I accidentally open up a photo of him on the computer while I was trying to throw away a couple photos.

This was the picture we took on the most not-so-secret first date ever.

We were at a coffee shop (Like most couples in books and stuff do apparently) and I took a picture of Jimin while he was nose deep in his heavy whip creamed hot chocolate. He had taken himself off of the extremely strict diet he had put himself on that made him nearly pass out whence were doing promotions for the Wings Album.

In this picture, his cheeks were a lot more filled out and he had a child's gleefulness in his eyes, he looked more innocent then.

He then looked up from his hot chocolate and smiled for the camera, a dollop of whip cream on his nose and a little bit on his cheeks that he got on there for extra effect.

His eyes had crinkled into little crescents and it was so cute he couldn't help but save it.

I couldn't bring myself to delete that photo, and when I went back to my computer through the photos I had left in my trashcan, for the time being, I felt honestly terrible. There were so many good memories hidden within those photos that I was about to delete and fucking hell that made me angry.

It still made me wonder why Jimin left me in the first place, there was nothing wrong, right?

If there was something wrong, Jimin would've told me, right?

Nothing was going wrong until that new Manager popped up and then Sejin died...

Sejin...

"Of course..."

I had read about this in some type of manga Jimin had lent me on his Crunchyroll account this one time.

There was a curse and something terrible happens whenever a specific set of rules are broken. The first was a girl falling down the stairs and getting pierced directly in the neck with an umbrella and bleeding out on the stairwell. And a following of tragedies ensued for the unlucky people, specifically someone's car being driven off the highway and crashing and probably exploding. And then there was a construction vehicle that had driven into the side of someone's house and killed her little and or big brother. Another kid died of a heart attack, and one kid got struck by lightning while holding an umbrella like a lightning rod or something.

And then next thing you know, everything is on fire, kids are falling out of the windows and dying, people were killing each other, and next thing you know, the main protagonist's sister had to be killed for the curse to end and it was just a whole lot of just gory murder.

Maybe that's exactly what was happening now, a specific set of rules were broken, maybe an unspoken rule that had never been addressed to the pair and now they were paying for it...It made sense after all. Manager Chang-hee must have been appointed to keep them in check, and when they broke the rules, we both had to pay the price for it.

What's going to happen next? Are they both going to relapse into old habits and end up ultimately killing and or hating each other, driving the group in the worst direction possible because they're all wrong.

The way they love is wrong...

The way they are is wrong...

Everything having to do with them and them being together is wrong.

This was his fault and he knew it. He had been the one to confess his feelings to Jimin after finally gathering enough courage to do so and go to him. Of course, it did take a good pep talk from the rest of the members (Although they joke that they regret giving me said pep talk).

This was their dooming point.

Oh if only he hadn't caught feeling for the boy from Busan...

If he didn't audition for Bighit in general and maybe went somewhere like Cube entertainment and never met Jimin, maybe so much disaster wouldn't be crossing their paths right now.

And their comeback is soon and they have to return to America to say goodbye to Sejin, and they have to deal with his replacement until he decided to leave.

Unless they decide to leave first.

|-|-|

Yoongi had been here for hours and nothing had changed. He as still in front of the computer, listening to the same songs over and over again, and even relistening to the songs from Love Yourself: Her, including Sea and Outro: Her. Those were the only two songs he could bring himself to listen to (That was a bad idea seeing as though those were the songs ARMY cried over the most when the album dropped(But Rap Monster cried when thinking of the idea for Sea, so it evened out))

He hurried his hands in his face, the buzz from earlier going away and leaving him with only emptiness.

He could still hear the music from a dance studio through the walls of the studio and he decided tinta he had enough of waiting to figure out who was in there.

He got up and marched down to the dance studio, the loud music sending vibrations through the floor and to his body,

"Alright, who the hell-?"

His eyes contorted in sheer horror at what he saw.

Jimin was there, completely motionless and the song turned on and looped for the umpteenth, hell, who even knew how long he had to be here for this to have happened?

"Fuck, Jimin?!"

He shook him and saw the boys snap open instantly.

"H-Hyung?"Yoongi's heart fluttered at the way he said his name but he suppressed it to the point it hurt.

"Come on, we just have to go-"

Jimin bolted away from him, his eyes widening in fear as he holed himself up in a corner. He might've been delirious from just waking up or something, because this just wasn't normal, everyday Jimin.

"Ireoke, Jeoreoke... Ireoke, Jeoreoke... You can't touch me... Don't touch me..."

Jimin sobs out lyrics to a HyunA song and starts chanting them like a mantra...

"Jimin?! Jimin!!" Yoongi yells.

"Hyung, please go away..." Jimin says trying to push him away. "Hyung, I can't."

Yoongi listens to Jimin mutter now incomprehensible things at the speed of light.

"Come on, Jimin. We're going home."

|-|-|

Jimin ends up falling asleep on their way back up the stairs, and only three did Yoongi notice that there was a slight lack of muscle and things like that on Jimin's body.

"Holy fucking-"

It takes a while before they reach the dorms and Yoongi tries to keep everything down so no one goes to them trying to figure out why the hell they were both coming home so late at night.

"Yoongi, where the hell were you?!"

Too late.

Yoongi groans inwardly as Jin comes up from the couch and begins to lecture him into probably the next hour.

"Where's Jimin?!"

Yoongi leans to the side.

"He passed out while we were at the studio."

Jin looks away and offers his arms.

"Let's get him to the couch."

They set him on the couch and Yoongi automatically looks away.

"Please, go to sleep. I think you both deserve some rest." Jin says "I'll watch over him to make sure he's ok."

Yoongi nods, not wanting to get on Jin's bad side.

|-|-|

1 week later...

Jimin stares at the mess that's been made in porcelain basin as he gets up.

He's going back. He thought he had stopped this stupid habit...

You left Yoongi, now you have no reason to keep your promise, now do you?

He flushes down his mess and brushes his teeth with the utmost intensity, also using mouthwash for precaution.

He leaves the bathroom and almost instantly regrets it.

He's turning the corner and he falls on the ground, the noise echoing all over the dorm.

No...

No, No, No...

Please, get up...

Jin helps him to his feet but he topples over again.

"Jimin?"

Don't give me your concern or your worry...

I don't deserve it...

I don't deserve any of the things given to me...

"I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine..."