"Like those dead leaves there that have fallen and are flyingMy love is collapsing without strengthYour heart is only going further away, I can't grab youI can't grab you anymore more moreI can't hold on more, yeah" - BTS-Autumn Leaves, 2015

Jimin knows there is a problem when he wakes up and he feels the dread settle on his shoulders like a gigantic boulder.

He gets up and goes to brush his teeth, BangPD has let them have a week full of rest with minimal events to attend afterward, a gift for all they have gone through under Chang-hee 's watch, he had told them all when they asked for a reason why.

Jimin went down to the kitchen and was greeted by Seokjin, who was hovering over the stove making breakfast for them and having fun while doing so.

The smell of food almost making him gag

"Good morning, Jimin! Lovely day, isn't it?"

Jimin nodded and slid onto the couch next to Taehyung and cuddle up to him.

"What happened to my favorite human radiator?" He whines when he felt how cold Jimin was.

Jimin knew what had happened. All the self-torture he had been putting himself through took a toll not only on his physical appearance but also on his internal appearance if you wanted to call it that. His body temperature dropped, taking away the human radiator Taehyung loved so much.

"Do we have any practice today?" Jimin asks.

Jin looked up from his creation, scandalized "Of course not! This is our break week and we should make the most of it!"

Jimin tensed at the sudden slight scolding before his facial expression softened and he apologized.

He took to his room when Hoseok left to go to the bathroom to practice for a little bit.

"The colors of pastel fill your hair and paint you innocently...Tell me, do these innocent colors, do they reflect your love too?" Jimin sang while going through the contemporary dance steps for this album.

Only Jin and Jimin sang on this track and Jimin had felt honored to have to teach him contemporary dance while his loving boyfriend watched on the sidelines as Jin managed to adapt pretty well. Jin's delicate frame, yet wide shoulders were pretty good for the dancing style and, to be fair, Jin had thought Jungkook "The Golden Maknae" was the best for this because of the fact he was good at everything, but the choreographer and Jungkook disagreed.

"Don't work him too hard, Jimin." Yoongi would say "You might break him."

In the end, nothing had gone wrong and Jin had the steps down in 2 months, plenty of time to go over and perfect them for the comeback.

Jimin and Jin hadn't got to perform this song yet, but Jimin hoped that this break wouldn't last long so that he could get back to work and show the world that they were ok.

The news about Sejin got out, but that's all they know. They know nothing about Yoongi and Jimin's relationship (or what used to be) and their new manager's influence in it all. The ARMY's sent all the words of support they could over Twitter, V-LIVE, and Instagram, which they really appreciated.

It was mostly Namjoon's idea to come clean to their fans. Of course, everyone was a bit against it seeing as someone close to them had died and the most negative of Netizens were going to come hard at them for this, but they powered through.

'Or so they thought' Jimin had thought then.

Jimin had known it was a golden rule for idols to never go on anti-fan sites, Namjoon literally bashed it into them every single day before they debuted, him especially, but that somehow didn't stop Jimin from wanting to see what people said about him.

He wanted to be the perfect oppa so

'I changed my bias!'

'Where did Jimin-ah's abs go?!'

'Oppa looks too soft to be an idol!'

Then he tried to have more of a masculine look to him.

'Jimin should leave BTS'

'Look at how chubby he is! He's an insult to all hard working idols!'

He began purging himself in order to lose weight and not look disgusting and an embarrassment to the rest of his team and the other idol groups and soloists out there.

'Fatty'

Yes...

He was the epitome of perfection, forever influenced by others opinion of him, his dance teachers, the fans, the anti's, the members.

He would be happy along with himself if the others were.

But were they?

Were they really happy?

Everyone else always seemed angry with him all the time...

Perhaps this was the feeling of dread that had settled among Jimin's shoulders this.

The feeling of inevitable inferiority and internalized and outer homophobia.

What if people didn't accept him?

What if Yoongi didn't really love him at all?

"Jimin? Why are you crying?"

Jimin is snapped out of his daze to Taehyung, Jin, and Namjoon looking at him in concern from their respective places, Namjoon being the one who had spoke up.

Anal Bleeding

Malnutrition

Dehydration

And the list of things went on that the doctor had listed off as Jimin tried to drown it out while clinging to Taehyung for dear life.

"Yoongi-hyung? Where's Yoongi-hyung?"

"Is he why you're crying?!"

Jimin shook his head and buried his face in his hands.

"I'm pathetic... And I'm selfish..." Jimin mutters through the gaps in his fingers. "I'm a terrible person, Taehyung!"

He then bolts up and rushes to the door without a second thought.

"Jimin?! JIMIN?!

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Jimin lets his mind wander as he ran down the streets, skillfully dodging other people with his now unhealthily skinny frame, the frame of a feminine looking dancer gone entirely.

"Yoongi-hyung!" he had begun desperately yelling his name down the street as other looked at him strangely and others giving him passing glances of something else...Encouragement?

He had been walking around and running around for ages until the sun was high in the sky, slowly lowering though.

He had arrived somewhere unfamiliar. Eventually, he had found himself at a bridge.

"nae gieogui guseok

han kyeone jarijabeun galsaek piano

eoril jeok jip anui guseok

han kyeone jarijabeun galsaek piano..."

Jimin recognized that deep, yet raspy voice anywhere, it haunted his dreams all the time, so how could he even remotely forget?

He walked closer and saw a sight to remember.

Yoongi swaying side to side with a beer bottle in his hand, him yelling out the lyrics to "First Love" at the top of his lungs like a mad man. He was going dangerously close to the edge.

"I feel so nice mom... I feel so nice..."

"Yoongi?"

Yoongi's head snapped up instantly to meet Jimin's as he reached out to him.

"What are you doing here?" Jimin says coming closer as Yoongi backs away "You're going to hurt yourself!"

"Why would you care if I hurt myself or not? You obviously didn't seem to care when you ended it off just like that without barely looking me in the eyes. You didn't seem to care when I got drunk and passed out because of you."

Jimin flinched and slowly retracted his hand, looking at his palms in fear.

That's right... He did hurt Yoongi with his selfish actions even after he had told him that everything would be alright. He went along with the breakup and let him become this way.

"I just didn't want-. He was going to kick you out of the company-."

Yoongi laughed bitterly before throwing the bottle off the edge.

"Fuck off, Jimin. I actually took this relationship seriously." Yoongi growls bitterly coming closer, the reek of alcohol coming off his clothes and his breath, it covering his scent, the same scent Jimin could get intoxicated with for hours had been drowned out by the alcohol.

He pointed to the bottle that was now floating in the water, or at least tried to.

"You see that? It was with me and now it's floating in the water all on its own with nothing else to hold it up until..."

The bottle slowly went under and Jimin gasped in horror.

"Until it's left to sink all on its own."

Jimin clutches the railings, the sheer height of the bridge making him sick.

"Yoongi, Yoongi, please." Jimin begged out clutching his hand "I didn't mean for all of this to happen."

The world was silent.

Until Yoongi began to laugh.

"Did you not mean to accept my feelings? Did you not mean to love me in the first place?"

"Yoongi, I didn't."

"Save your lies for someone that wants to hear them," Yoongi says wrenching his arm away and looking at him under hooded eyes.

"If I have to hear another lie from you, I swear to god, I'm going to fucking jump."

Jimin's eyes widened as he tried to get closer to Yoongi.

"Please don't do it... I-I..." Jimin stuttered out as the proper words kept dying on his tongue. "I love you, so don't do it. I'll jump in after you if you die!"

Yoongi tilted his head to the side "Maybe you should've just said that you hated me and that you never loved me, perhaps I wouldn't have jumped."

He came up to Jimin and whispered in his ear "Min Yoongi is dead."

And just like that, he was gone, like a ghost.

"Yoongi?" Jimin looked around looking for any semblance of his presence in front of him or behind him. "Please, don't play with me..."

He looked around himself as people passed the bridge looking at him with mixed reactions on their faces.

"This is all my fault..." Jimin mutters staring at the dried blood on his hands "I'm filthy... I killed someone close to me..."

Jimin screams out into the sky, causing people to look at him.

"This is my fault!" Jimin cries out banging on the pavement.

He didn't care a single bit about everyone going to film on their phones. He could headlines now 'BTS Member commits suicide in broad daylight while one is left on the street crying over him'.

The tears didn't stop flowing for ages, and by then it has transitioned from day to night time.

"Chim Chim?" Jin's voice. "Where's Yoongi?"

Jimin sobbed pathetically as he failed to get up.

"He's gone... I killed him..." Jimin says burying his hands in his jacket pockets, not able to bear looking at them any longer.

Jin peered over the bridge as realization settled onto his face.

"No...He didn't..."

Jimin stared at the concrete.

"He did, didn't he?"

Jimin nods as Jin takes hold of him from behind.

"I'm sorry..."

"I am too..."

It was August 16th, 2018

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I had a dream

It was of the time we were born

We lived such a beautiful life

In a city of wombs

We smiled and clapped our hands

For years, BTS went M.I.A., no fan sightings or anything, not even the CEO was willing to give away their whereabouts.

It's as though I'm living as a translucent shadow

We drank the paint dry

The colors of the rainbow changed

We started wanting to be held

I couldn't walk alone anymore

Until one day, August 16th, 2021, they had finally dropped something, but it wasn't something you'd expect.

It was a song dedicated to Min Yoongi, but no one questioned it until one fan looked into the lyrics and figured it all out.

'And now we'll stop rolling too' was the one collective line in the song.

The song was called "Rolling in circles"

We smiled at each other

We gave our love to toys

I wish we could destroy

The untouchable children using simple words

The prostitute spat fire...

After that, news of BTS's disbandment spread all across the world like a wildfire, each of the members going their separate ways

'And now we'll stop, and cleanse ourselves with sin'

'Goodbye and Goodluck'

In a faraway city...

Somebody died