─────────────────── shameless
⨳ 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝟬𝟬𝟴 . . . ꗃ ≀ ▊✹
❛ kiara cuntsalot and lilla moralless ! ❜ · ˚.‧ .

✹ . . . JOHN B. ROUTLEDGE WAS NOW LIVING WITH
the Camerons.

After he'd woken up in the hospital, now sporting a cast on his arm, which was quite lucky seeing how far he'd fallen, Ward had offered for him to stay with them so that John B. no longer had to fight off seeing ACS. He'd been discharged from the hospital the next day into Ward's care, and Lilla and Sarah were there waiting to greet him when they got to Tannyhill.

"This is your room," Sarah said with a smile, raising her hand in a presenting manner as John B. stepped inside to take it all in.

"Whoa," he muttered, his eyes wide. Then he glanced back at Lilla. "So this is what it's like moving up to the big leagues, huh?"

"Yeah." She smiled with a nod, looking around the room as she leaned against the doorframe. "It's pretty nice, a little difficult to get used to at first."

Sarah looked between the guy she liked and her best friend. "Wait, you knew that she was from the Cut?" she asked, sounding surprised and looking like it too as Lilla and John B. focused on her.

"Yeah, Sarah." He smiled softly. "I grew up down the road from her before she became rich and moved to Figure Eight." He pointed aimlessly in Lilla's direction with his casted arm. "All Pogues were outcasts and rarely noticed unless it was to get shit on by Kooks, so we stuck together. Lilla was the less rowdy of the bunch, so she wasn't nearly noticed at all. I honestly forget myself sometimes since Lilla Morales-Grey is such a Kook now." He gave the short-haired girl a pointed look, causing her to roll her eyes with a small smile.

Sarah nodded once, watching as John B. turned back to focus on the room and walked further in as he tossed his hat onto the bed. "It's not too shabby, huh?" she asked, following him into the room as Lilla stayed in the doorway.

John B. walked in front of the bed, still starstruck by the room. "Yeah," he said, setting his bag down on the bench at the front of the bed. "Not too shabby at all." He rounded to the opposite side of the bed Sarah was standing on.

"And my room is just upstairs, in case you were wondering," her tone turned confused as he climbed onto the bed and tried to spy-roll over to her but struggled to sit up correctly. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. No, I'm good. I'm good." He continued to struggle as Lilla stifled her laugh with a hand over her mouth. "I got it." He finally sat up, blowing out a breath, no doubt feeling a bit sore from his fall off the Hawk's Nest.

Sarah chuckled as they came face to face. "But I have to warn you—"

"Uh-oh," he muttered.

"I sleepwalk."

John B. sighed, seeming a bit relieved that it wasn't something majorly bad.

"So if I show up in your room in the middle of the night—"

"You just want me to roll with it?"

Lilla's face twisted in disgust, suddenly feeling like she was interrupting something.

"Yeah, maybe," Sarah replied, shrugging her shoulders, then leaned in to kiss him.

"Sarah Elizabeth Cameron." Ward's voice caught their attention, causing them two lovebirds to pull away, and even Lilla stood up straighter. He walked into the room a moment later, focusing on his daughter and the boy. "You've already broken the first rule. What is the first rule?" He didn't even give them a second to answer as they turned to him, his daughter with a smile on her face, while Lilla watched in amusement, her back straight as a board against the doorframe. "Stay out of each other's rooms. All right, seriously. Picture that as a boundary." He pointed to the floor where the door started. "This is like a minefield." He found his daughter's gaze. "Yes, sir?"

Sarah nodded. "Yes, sir."

Ward focused on the boy. "Yes, sir, John B?"

"Uh, yes, sir," John B. stammered, nodding quickly. "Yeah."

"All right." Ward paused, just staring at them for a moment. "Sarah, can you give me and the new inmate a quick minute here?" he asked, focusing on his daughter again. "Take Lilla with you too." He nodded to the girl behind him but kept his eyes on Sarah.

Sarah shifted on her feet, holding her hands together in front of her. She looked over at John B. briefly before she started walking towards the door and focused on her dad. "Please be nice," she told him softly.

"I'll be nice." Ward nodded.

Sarah looped her arm with Lilla's, and the two of them headed to exit the room. Lilla looked over her shoulder, though, focusing on John B. "Don't think you're special just because you have a room here, John B. Mine's right upstairs, across the hall from Sarah's," she bragged, wanting to mess with her best friend's new whatever he was.

"Lilla, play nice," Sarah muttered, giving her a tight smile.

Lilla just laughed as they walked away, Sarah shooting an apologetic look back at the boy. They headed upstairs, giving Ward some time alone with his new houseguest. The girls planned on spending the whole day together, or the majority of it, at least.

"You know, John B. was trying to protect me when Topper shoved him, right?" Sarah confessed as they finished climbing the stairs and began heading towards her room. Her eyes were trained on Lilla, who glanced over at her.

"I know, Sarah," Lilla replied with a sympathetic look. "I was just teasing him. He's a much better guy than Topper ever will be."

Sarah sighed. "Without a doubt."

Lilla leaned a bit closer, hugging the girl into her side before they entered her room. That was where they hung out for about an hour and a half while John B. left and went to hang out with the Pogues. Apparently, according to Sarah, things were a little rocky between the group since they learned about her and John B., mostly with Kiara, who seemed to have a stick up her ass about it. So Lilla did her best to take the girl's mind off of it as they watched a movie.

Once the movie was over, they headed downstairs, going to the kitchen because they wanted something to eat. It was then that Lilla realized she had left her phone upstairs, so she left Sarah and headed back to the girl's room to retrieve it. But something caught her attention as she stopped in front of her best friend's door. Rafe wasn't home; she had gathered that much when she hadn't seen or heard him the whole time she'd been there, and it was confirmed when Sarah told her that he was out doing some Rafe shit. That meant that his room was unoccupied, and she didn't have to worry about him walking in if she went in there to find the letter like she'd done before.

That was, if she did do that.

It wasn't as if he'd keep it hidden in the same place as before, now that she knew where that was, so it'd take a bit to find it, probably. Did she want to risk him coming home and finding her in his room again? Like it went so well last time. Chewing on her lip, Lilla contemplated this in her mind before she decided to fuck it and walked over to the door across the hall. Just as she reached it, she grabbed the knob and turned it but found that the door was locked.

"Shit," she cursed under her breath, letting out a sigh as her hand fell back to her side.

He was learning.

Shaking her head, she just inhaled through her nose and turned back to Sarah's room, which she entered. Her phone was on the bed, so she quickly grabbed it and left the room, closing the door back behind her.

Checking her notifications, she saw that she had a text from Dante, telling her that they were going to have Lomo Saltado for dinner. She was in the midst of replying, engrossed in her phone as she typed away, when someone ran right into her.

She dropped her phone and let out a groan at the impact on her shoulder.

The person didn't even stop, and by the fast pace, she already knew that it was Rafe.

"Excuse you, I guess," she muttered sarcastically as she bent down to pick up her phone, praying that it wasn't cracked. By her luck, it wasn't, and she sighed in relief. Then she glanced back to Rafe, seeing him approaching his door, holding his arm with a tight grip. Her brows furrowed, and she wondered if he was in pain.

It seemed like it.

"Rafe," she called out, but he didn't even glance at her as he dug in his pocket for the key to his door. She walked over to him with quick steps, wanting to catch him before he escaped into his room. Coming to his side, Lilla placed her hand on his arm, moving it so that she could see what was wrong. There was a nasty burn on his forearm, right above his wrist. She felt his eyes on her as she examined it with horror. She met his gaze, seeing him just staring down at her with a scowl. "Oh my God, are you alright?" she asked, genuinely concerned.

He scoffed, pulling his arm away with a roll of his eyes. "Like you care."

Real funny, using her words against her. Two could play that game.

"Fine, be a douche." She took a step back, raising her hands in defense. "I was just trying to be nice for once."

He looked down at her, staring her dead in the eyes. "I'm fine," he replied pointedly, then unlocked his door and entered his room, while she just watched him with an annoyed expression, her arms crossed over her chest. A second later, the door was shut, putting a block in between the two of them.

Lilla just stood there for a moment before turning on her heels with a roll of her eyes as she dropped her arms to her sides and headed back towards the stairs, stuffing her phone in her back pocket. It was when she had stepped off the last step and was going towards the kitchen that she heard a commotion coming from the back door. Her brows furrowed as she changed her path and began heading towards it, wondering what it was.

She lingered back when her eyes caught onto Topper and Sarah arguing. "It's not like we're getting married," Sarah told him, standing with a bit of distance between them. She was clearly upset, and Lilla didn't know what to do. She knew that Sarah and Topper needed to talk, but she also didn't know where it was going to go or how bad it was going to get.

"I don't care if we're in high school! I love you!" Topper countered.

"No, you don't, Topper!"

"I love you!"

"You love the idea of me. You love being seen with me."

"Stop," Topper told her.

"But you don't love me!"

Topper took a step closer, clearly upset. "You have no idea what I'm feeling. You have no clue." His breathing was heavy as he stared at her with frustration. "What about—what about this summer? Right? This summer was supposed to be legendary."

"I don't care anymore, Topper," Sarah admitted, turning away from him as she began to walk away, keeping her head down. "I can't be with you. Not after last night."

"Oh, after last night?" Topper repeated, following Sarah.

"Yeah."

"You—you wanna talk about last night?" He pointed an accusing finger at her.

"Sure," she answered, not seeming too interested.

"Did you forget the part where you cheated on me? Huh?" His voice grew louder, echoing throughout the room, as he eased closer to her, his finger still pointed in her direction. "Did you forget about that?" His tone made Lilla tense up, trying to keep her childhood memories at bay. Topper stepped right in front of Sarah, getting closer for comfort for both girls. "You're a slut! You know that? You're a slut!"

Lilla felt her anger rise at his words, and it was then that she'd had enough, needing to tell him to fuck off and leave Sarah alone. She was tired of biting her tongue around this piece of shit, especially now that he'd called Sarah a slut right to her face. Just as she began moving closer, Ward came out of nowhere, storming right over to the boy.

"Hey, watch your mouth when you talk about my daughter!"

Topper turned his attention to the man. "Your daughter's banging a Pogue—"

It was then that Ward grabbed Topper by the throat, causing Lilla to gasp, though it wasn't heard over the choking noises coming from the boy. Ward lifted him off the ground, moving him backwards and towards the door. Lilla stiffened in her place, her eyes wide and her jaw slack in shock. Her stomach hurt, and her mind flashed with memories—ones that she tried her best to push away and not let get the better of her—to not get too emotional. She wasn't there anymore. This wasn't that. This was a dad protecting his daughter after her ex just yelled at her and called her a slut.

"Dad," Sarah said, also seeming shocked.

"You need to go home, Topper," Ward told the boy lowly, ignoring his daughter.

"Dad, stop!" Sarah repeated, this time more urgently.

Ward loosened his grip on Topper, still with one hand on his throat as he used the other to open the door. He stared Topper dead in the eyes.

"Dad, let go of him, please."

The man pushed Topper out of his house, resting his arm against the other door as he watched him get into his car quickly.

Lilla didn't stick around for a moment longer, only hearing the door close once Topper's Jeep started, signaling that he was leaving. She made her way back upstairs quickly, going to Sarah's room as she tried to calm herself. Not only had Topper scared her in the moment, but so had Ward. She closed the door behind her, pushing her back against it as she breathed in and out heavily, trying to calm herself and not start crying. Then she made her way over to Sarah's bed, sitting down and catching her breath. She swallowed her tears, running her hand through her hair, her stomach still hurting along with her chest.

Eventually, she calmed down, and luckily it was before Sarah came upstairs. When the door opened, Lilla was just on her phone, quiet as she pretended she hadn't seen or heard anything about the fight. Not even when Sarah sat down on the bed beside her.

"Hey," her best friend said softly.

"Hey," Lilla replied, sending her a small smile as she glanced up from her phone.

Sarah looked around the bed while Lilla focused back on her phone. It was clear that the blonde had been crying, her eyes slightly puffier than usual. But neither said a thing. "Uhm, I'm gonna go to John B.'s house."

Lilla nodded, setting her phone down. "I hope you have fun." She met Sarah's gaze, giving her another small, close-lipped smile. "I'm probably just gonna head home anyway. I'm kinda tired. Didn't get much sleep last night."

"Yeah." Sarah nodded, also offering a faint smile. "Do you, uh, do you want to come with?"

Lilla raised her brows, caught off guard by the question. "Not saying I don't want to, but why?"

"It's about what I told you in the hospital," Sarah replied, her words reminding Lilla about how she had explained everything, in a hysterical state, about the treasure hunt John B. and his friends were on and how he'd gotten her into it—all about the plat map she'd taken from her dad's study, explaining better about what they'd been doing in Chapel Hill, how Big John Routledge had been searching for the same thing when he went missing—all of it.

Only the Pogues would be involved with something like this, Lilla thought. It seemed interesting in theory but also extremely dangerous. It had to be if it was the reason Big John disappeared. She was worried about Sarah.

Lilla simply nodded. "I'll go with you."

It was better she went and was there for Sarah, just in case, than not. Last time she was with the Pogues alone, it didn't end well for John B. He got lucky only having a broken arm having been pushed off such a high place.

Sarah smiled in return.

━━━━━

✹ . . . WHEN THEY APPROACHED JOHN B., HIS MOUTH fell open a bit and his brows furrowed, no doubt confused as to why Lilla was there and under the impression that it'd just be Sarah. Sarah seemed to notice his confusion right away, and she set her bike down on the ground as she walked over to him. Lilla just stood back, watching the interaction with boredom as her best friend most likely explained that she had told Lilla everything in a fit of hysterics after he'd had been pushed.

When they came back over to her, he no longer looked confused; instead, he had a smile on his face, matching the one Sarah had. He clapped his hands together, leaning forward a bit. "Glad you're here, Lilla. The more, the merrier," he said enthusiastically.

"Don't worry, John B., I don't want a cut of the gold," Lilla replied. "I'm here for Sarah."

He just nodded, then silence fell over them.

Sarah quickly picked up her bike and said, "So you found the gold."

"Yes," John B. confirmed as the three of them began walking again, Lilla and Sarah pulling their bikes with them. Lilla wasn't sure why they hadn't taken her car; it would've been much faster and easier, but she guessed Sarah wanted to feel the fresh air on her face.

"But under an axe murderer's house?" she continued.

"Well, yeah, uh—kind of," he stammered.

Sarah was still smiling as she said, "That's perfect."

Lilla looked over at her with a look of bewilderment.

"Yes, perf—" John B. paused for just a second as they approached his house. "I mean, the only thing is the well is, like, super sketchy deep."

"Kinda wish I was there with you guys," Sarah admitted.

John B. looked over at her with a small smile. "Well, you'll be there for real tonight."

"Is it okay?" Sarah asked.

"Yeah, of course." He didn't sound very convincing to Lilla, but she kept quiet. "What?" He noticed the hesitant expression Sarah had. "Vlad and Val gotta be together, right?"

"No, no. I mean... with the others," she elaborated.

John B. nodded. "Yes, everything's fine." He stopped in his tracks, turning around so that he faced her completely. "What?"

Lilla and Sarah stopped as well, the latter resting her arm on her bike's handlebars and giving him a knowing look, like she didn't fully believe him. Lilla knew that she didn't. "Kiara said something, didn't she?"

"No," he assured, though he looked away from both girls, and his tone was all wrong.

"You're the worst liar I've ever met," Sarah told him.

Lilla nodded in agreement. "Yeah, it's pretty tragic."

"I'm not lying."

"Look, John B., if she's gonna get territorial—"

"Hey, hey, hey, just listen. All right?" He interjected, giving her a pointed look. "You're a part of this too. You got us the Tannyhill map." He paused, letting her take in his words for a moment. "By the way, once we get with everybody, they're gonna be excited."

Lilla wasn't too sure about that.

Sarah didn't seem to be either.

"I promise," he added, though his voice got a bit higher in pitch, then he offered a smile.

━━━━━

✹ . . . "NO EFFING WAY!" KIARA EXCLAIMED,
clearly not excited about Sarah and Lilla being there.

The two outsider girls were sitting on the couch of the screened-in porch of John B.'s house—the chateau. John B. was sitting on the armrest of it beside Sarah. Pope and JJ sat at the end of the porch, the former on a stool and the latter on a recliner. And Kiara was pacing in front of them.

"You brought them here? So what? They're in on this now?" Kiara asked John B., half-shrugging her shoulders. "Next thing you know, Lilla's gonna bring Dante with her, and then it's gonna be all of the Kooks."

Lilla gave Kiara a bored look, already wanting to be done with her shit. "I can assure you, Dante knows nothing about your stupid little treasure hunt, and I'm only here for Sarah's sake, because last time she was with y'all, it didn't end so well." She threw her thumb over at John B., noting his broken arm as she kept her gaze on Kiara.

John B. didn't say anything; he just glanced over at Pope and JJ.

"I dunno," Pope mumbled.

"Look, all I care about is their cuts come out of your share," JJ added.

Kiara turned to John B., still clearly annoyed. "You know, I don't remember taking a vote. This is our thing. A Pogue thing."

That was rich coming from her, Lilla thought, chuckling. No pun intended.

"I gotta say, I'm just a tad uncomfortable with all of this," Pope confessed.

Kiara glanced over at him. "Thank you!"

"When are you not uncomfortable?" John B. countered.

"I dunno. I rode here on the back of JJ's bike pretty comfortably," Pope retorted.

Sarah and Lilla just remained silent, looking back and forth at the interactions.

"It's true." JJ half-shrugged, inclining his head in Pope's direction. "Most relaxed I've ever seen him."

John B. looked ahead, out at the scene in front of him, not focusing on anyone. "That's cute, guys."

"You know, we were all extremely comfortable until you brought them," Kiara went on, her tone still annoyed and stern as she looked over at John B. again.

"Stop talking about us like we're not here!" Sarah argued, clearly fed up with Kiara's bullshit.

Kiara finally looked at them, mainly focusing on Sarah. "Then leave."

Sarah scoffed, turning to the boy beside her. "I told you."

"Told him what, exactly?" Kiara looked from John B. to Sarah. "That you're a liar?"

"No, that you're a shit-talking bitch," Sarah countered.

Lilla laughed, raising her hands in defense. "She said, not I."

"Oh, yeah?" Kiara raised her brows as Pope and JJ began betting, which Lilla noticed.

"When have I ever lied to you?" asked Sarah, her expression turning confused.

"You get somebody close to you—"

"I didn't lie about shit!"

"—for like a month and then turn your back on them."

"She never did that to me," Lilla chimed in, receiving a glare from Kiara, which she just countered with a smile.

"Everybody shut up!" John B. interrupted loudly, causing everyone to go silent and focus on him in confusion. He looked at the girl in front of him, lifting his hand to gesture towards her. "Kie, you are my best friend, right?" Kiara didn't say anything, just nodded, so he turned to Sarah. "And Sarah, you're..." he chuckled, falling silent. "...you're my..." He couldn't seem to get the word out as he shrugged his shoulders, and Sarah just smiled at him.

"Say it," she said softly.

"You're my girlfriend," he admitted.

"Ohh... that's new," Pope muttered.

Kiara laughed lightly in disbelief, crossing her arms over her chest. "She's your girlfriend now?" She paused as they focused on her. "What was all that talk about you were just using her"—she looked at JJ and Pope—"for information? Get a map; cut her loose."

Sarah looked over at John B. "You said you were using me?"

"No," he replied.

"Yeah, you did," Kiara and Pope corrected.

Lilla stood up from her seat quickly. "Kiara, you know, you really are a cunt trying to ruin something good for Sarah and John B. just because you don't like her," she argued, stepping closer to the girl who was now staring at her with a disgusted look, her top lip curled.

"I don't even know why you're here, Lils," Kiara countered, stepping closer. "You said it was for Sarah, but nothing actually happened to her in the Hawk's Nest. John B. is the one with a broken arm because of her psycho boyfriend." She held up her hands defensively, looking over at Sarah, who had opened her mouth to correct her. "Sorry, I guess he's her ex now since she's dating John B.," she said sarcastically, focusing on Lilla again. "You're not a Pogue and never will be, not even if you lived here before, which is something you only seem to bring up when it benefits you. You're a full-fledged Kook now. The Island's Rich Bitch."

Lilla laughed, actually humored by Kiara's words. "Need I remind you, Kie, that you live in, like, a four-story house in Figure Eight, just like me and Sarah, and that your parents are rich as hell and own a very popular restaurant, like mine?" She raised her brows, taking a step closer. Her annoyance with this girl was rising with every passing second as the others just watched in shock. She was sure JJ and Pope were betting on them, though she couldn't see because her back was to them. "No, I may not be a Pogue anymore, but neither are you, not even if your dad is from here. You're a wannabe, Kiara."

"I am a Pogue, more than you'll be," Kiara retorted, taking a step closer. She almost sounded offended, and Lilla was sure she was.

"As if!" Lilla moved closer as well. "Unlike you, I did live here for the first ten years of my life. My family struggled to make ends meet half of the time because my parents were busting their asses trying to get their restaurant off the ground. My cousin is now a fucking drug dealer and a criminal, and me, Dante, and him had to watch his dad wail on his mom every night while they both were tweaking and drunk off their asses! My parents did everything in their power to get me and Dante out of here so that we didn't have to spend our whole lives like they did!" She huffed out a breath, noticing that Kiara was practically stuck in place due to shock. "So yeah, Kiara, I am a Kook now, and I am the 'Island's Rich Bitch' or whatever the fuck. I don't play pretend and dwell on my past to be different or rebellious; I accept who I am and what I have, and I don't take it for granted because I know how rough life can be." She looked over Kiara once, the silence around the group very loud. "You're ungrateful for what your parents have given you. Yes, your dad is from here, but so are Ward Cameron, my parents, and me and Dante. We all have connections here, whether we'd like to admit it or not. You're not special because you have a parent from here because so does everyone else on this porch!"

With that, her chest rose and fell heavily as she continued staring at Kiara with fury in her eyes. The girl just stared back at her with wide eyes. It was then that Lilla realized the things she'd admitted, so casting a look around at each of the ones looking at her in surprise, she brushed past Kiara. She didn't say anything as she exited the porch and began walking to where she and Sarah put their bikes. She really wished she had her car right about then, but her bike would have to do.

"Lilla!" she heard Sarah call out from behind her. She didn't glance back, however, not even when her best friend stopped behind her. She didn't want Sarah to see the tears brimming in her eyes. She was in the mood to exchange any more words with anyone about her past.

"Just go back to John B., Sarah." Lilla waved her hand dismissively before running it through her short hair. She sniffed, rubbing the underside of her nose with her finger. "I'll see you later." She got on her bike and began pedaling away, really missing her car.

Sarah just watched her leave, sighing sadly.

Lilla rode her bike all the way back to Figure Eight, trying to contain her tears so her vision didn't get too blurry. The wind against her tear-covered cheeks was cold, but the sun helped dry them away before more fell. Her thoughts ran over everything she had said to Kiara, knowing that it was the truth but wishing she had omitted some things. It wasn't any of their business. Not even Sarah had known about him, her cousin, or the exact details of her past. Most didn't. But now the Pogues did. Sarah too. She had screwed up. She shouldn't have said anything at all.

When she came to a stop, she got off her bike and began rolling it up her driveway. She was only halfway up when someone called her name from behind her. She turned her head over her shoulder, her brows furrowed, and her eyes caught onto Rafe jogging towards her, wearing his usual t-shirt, khaki shorts, and tennis shoes.

She quickly faced forward again, continuing up her driveway as she sniffled. "Rafe, I'm not in the mood right now," she told him, letting out a sigh as she rubbed away some fallen tears with her sleeve, keeping one hand on the bike's handles.

"Come on, Lils." His lengthy legs helped him move in front of her before she could get to the top of the driveway. He rounded her, standing in front of her with a small yet charming smile as he held up his hands to get her to stop. "Just give me a second." His eyes flickered over her face, and his brows furrowed as his smile slowly fell. "What's wrong?"

She looked away from him, rubbing away more tears. "Nothing."

"You've been crying," he replied, ignoring her denial. His pointer finger and thumb found her chin, and he turned her head to face him away, causing her to look up at him with furrowed brows and an almost surprised look. "I know you have because your eyes and lips get all puffy."

She sniffled, wondering why he noticed things like that but not forgetting how hostile he had been to her earlier that day. "What do you want?"

He seemed to pick up on what she was thinking and cleared his throat, removing his hold on her chin to scratch the back of his head. "I wanted to apologize for earlier. I was being a dick," he admitted, letting out a small chuckle. "Something upset me, but it wasn't your fault; I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

"Oh." She was genuinely surprised by his words. She hadn't been sure that Rafe Cameron was capable of admitting when he was wrong. It was shocking, to say the least. "It's okay."

"I also wanted to see if you wanted to go do something with me... like hang out or whatever," he confessed, seeming a bit awkward with his words, which amused Lilla. He scratched the back of his head again as she stared at him with surprise, her mouth hanging open.

"Like... a date?" she finally asked, raising her brows.

"No," he replied quickly, almost too quickly. She was trying not to take offense to it. "Not a date, just hanging out with some friends."

She nodded, then knitted her brows. "We don't have mutual friends."

"I know, I just—"

"Will you give me the letter back if I go?" She cut him off, trying not to look too hopeful.

He smirked, his eyes still on hers as his tongue ran along the bottom of his top teeth. "No, I want to hold onto it for a little longer."

Her hope died, and she rolled her eyes, turning her head away from him, and let out a sigh. When she found his gaze again, she saw that he was still smirking, and she wanted that unfortunately handsome smirk to die. "Then the answer's no," she told him, offering him a tight smile before she moved past him, pulling her bike along with her as her shoulder brushed his. "Bye, Rafe."

He just stood in place, the smirk still on his face as he breathed out a laugh.

Lilla was just about to put in the code to open the garage so that she could put her bike inside, but something crossed her mind, and she couldn't help turning around to face him again, though she was staring at his back. She cleared her throat, laying her bike down on the ground. "Uh, Rafe," she said to catch his attention.

He turned around to face her with raised brows.

She stood in her spot for a moment, fiddling with her hands before she walked closer to him, knowing that what she was about to say wasn't something she should say from halfway across her driveway. She stared up at him for a long moment, and then she scratched the back of her head, looking down at the ground. "You should stop doing cocaine"—she found his gaze, seeing his expression dim—"before it gets too bad." Her voice was low, barely above a whisper. "I don't want to see you ruin yourself."

✹ . . . ella's thoughts ! · ˚.‧ .
first published chapter of 2025 🙂‍↕️

i don't fear that rafe's soft spot is lilla teehee

i'm gonna start writing act two soon 🤭 but, for the next couple of days, i'm gonna try to focus on editing the rest of the chapters of act one so i can update more frequently!

i hope you liked this chapter! make sure to comment & vote 🫶🏻

kisses.

━━━━━━━━━━━━ 𝗦𝗛𝗔𝗠𝗘𝗟𝗘𝗦𝗦
𝗔 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 𝗦𝗧𝗢𝗥𝗬 . . . © -lostgardens,     2025

word count.  5636. written.  9.20.-10.1.24. published.  1.6.25.