chapter three
confrontation

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THE FEELING of constant validation and unconditional love was not one Eleanor Brooks was familiar with. Growing up in a household full of toxicity, whether it was her feuding parents (the two now being divorced) or her mother's blatant disregard of her mental health, Eleanor could never catch a break.

So, when her mother told her and her brother that they were moving out to Figure Eight with her new fiancé, the thought of a good, happy life, it was an offer Eleanor couldn't just turn away.

She knew it was a bit selfish, seen as everyone she cared about lived in The Cut and would turn down the offer in an instant if it meant they were still with the people they loved, but she couldn't take it anymore. She should've known a change of scenery wasn't going to fix the never ending hole in her heart that continues to grow bigger and bigger as time goes on.

Everything was exactly the same. Except, this time she could actually afford the costly help.

So here she was, sitting in her therapists office, foot tapping rapidly on the floor as the older female — Dr. Curtis — eyed her, awaiting her response.

"Eleanor," Eleanor's head snapped up, Dr. Curtis' voice snapping her out of her plagued mind. "How are you feeling?" She enunciated her previous question that, for some reason, Eleanor couldn't seem to answer.

Eleanor cleared her throat as her jaw tensed, a growing headache forming. "Um...I've been fine, I guess." She finally answered, speaking the same sentence that she couldn't seem to stop responding with every time she was asked that question.

Dr. Curtis lifted her black rimmed glasses up her nose as she wrote words unknown to Eleanor onto her notepad. "Just, 'fine'?" She then continued to question the brunette.

Eleanor ran her tongue across the top of her teeth, starting to get annoyed with the same conversation they always seemed to have with one another. "Yes, just fine." Eleanor falsely smiled, her tone sounding irritated.

Dr. Curtis sighed before placing her notepad down and folding her hands across her knee. "Eleanor, I've told you this countless of times, this is a safe place for you to let out whatever you're feeling. Whatever happens in this room, stays in this room. Like the Vegas rule, remember?" She smiled.

Whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Eleanor kept her smile on her face as she nodded, though she was internally rolling her eyes at the woman.

What a load of bullshit.

Eleanor knew for a fact that if she were to open up too much, then the woman wouldn't hesitate to send her somewhere that would "help her."

Everyone knew that was code for a front row seat to a mental institution.

"Of course. The Vegas rule...I truly am fine though — just a bit tired." Mentally drained was a more appropriate response for how she actually felt, but she would never admit that to the woman.

Dr. Curtis nodded. "Have you been getting enough sleep? Full ten hours?" The woman explained to Eleanor that she should get an extra two hours to ensure a healthy lifestyle, Eleanor obviously didn't listen. The most sleep she had gotten last night was likely four hours.

It's not that Eleanor was defying the woman because she didn't want the help, because she did want it, really — but it felt like such a big job for her to do, when in reality, it wasn't.

"Eleven, actually," The brunette lied. "Felt amazing, by the way. Thanks for the tip." She kept her act going.

Dr. Curtis smiled at the girl before slightly jumping as her timer went off. "Well, looks like our time is up Ms. Brooks. I'll be seeing you next Thursday."

Eleanor nodded fastly, ready to leave the room before Dr. Curtis called out to her. "I'll be expecting a better rehearsed act the next time I see you." She rose a brow before she got out of her seat.

Eleanor's eyes widened. That woman was like some type of lie-detecting AI. Eleanor gathered her belongings before nodding at the woman and bidding her goodbyes. As she walked out of the room she couldn't help but feel a sense of nausea run through her body.

She lent against the wall beside her therapist's room and tightly shut her eyes. She waited for the odd sensation to finally go away before shuddering shakily. Eleanor didn't want to go home. Especially because she didn't want to hear from her mother about where she had been all morning.

So, she went to the one place that gave her the comfort she needed.

The beach.

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THE BEACH was a no-go. On her way toward the beach she spotted the twins, Theo and Avery, and she didn't want to be bothered so she just ended up leaving.

Which she also ended up regretting.

A vehicle came rushing forward, almost hitting her, until it stopped just in time.

"What the hell is your problem—" Eleanor started before she caught sight of the rugged Twinkie she was in only two nights prior.

JJ stuck his head out of the passenger side window and shot her a glare. "Could you maybe consider not standing in the middle of the road? Some of us have places to be. Thanks."

Believe it or not, he was actually putting in a little effort to be civil and sincere but his tone was the complete opposite.

It was natural instinct at that point.

Eleanor scoffed as she tried to keep herself together, her body practically shaking from fear of almost dying.

She put on a mask. Hypothetically speaking, of course. "Y'know maybe if you actually knew how to drive, then we wouldn't be having this conversation right now."

She heard a faint yet offended yell of protest from John B since he was sat in the driver seat.

JJ narrowed his eyes. "Like I said — places to be. Move."

Eleanor raised her brows at the boy. He could not be serious right now. They almost hit her and he didn't even care.

Eleanor walked up to his window causing him to let out a groan. "You've got a lot of nerve you know. You could've killed me."

The blonde rolled his eyes. "You seem perfectly fine to me."

Eleanor scoffed. "Are you kidding me right now? You really have no remorse...this is nothing like the JJ I used to know —"

"Yeah, yeah, are you done? I could really care less if I'm like what you remember or not, honestly." He cut her off, tired of the brunettes voice already.

Eleanor stood in front of him, hurt flashed through her eyes for a split second before hardening once more.

"Go fuck yourself." She spat.

"Great, nice chat Eleanor. It was great seeing you again, y'know, really made my day." The sarcasm laced in his tone was undeniable.

"Glad to do you the honor." She falsely smiled before dropping it. "Asshole." She rolled her eyes.

"Are you two done? I'm tryna go smoke." Kiara interrupted. The three other pogues had just watched JJ and Eleanor's argument as if it were a novela, they couldn't look away, but they were quite tired of it at that point.

Kiara was the only one that had to guts to speak up.

Eleanor looked at her but Kiara avoided eye contact. She knew she would explode on her old friend if she looked her in the eyes.

She didn't care about exploding, no, of course not, she just didn't wanna her mood to be killed before she got high.

"Yeah, we're done." JJ pushed Kiara's head back into the rear of the Twinkie and Eleanor could hear a faint cheer from the former girl.

And with that, JJ didn't spare not one more glance at Eleanor before he made a motion for John B to drive away and the latter did just that.

They left her in the dust.

"Great." She muttered. She sighed in utter exhaustion, she needed a nap. Or a drink — she didn't really know.

"Ellie!" Eleanor's head snapped toward the sound of Averys voice.

How the hell did they find her?

"Aves, hey." Her voice cracked. Theo wrapped Eleanor in a large hug before Avery shoved him and took his place, hugging her best friend.

"What are you doing out here all alone?" Theo questioned.

Eleanor shrugged. "Oh, y'know, just needed a little walk...I wasn't feeling very well."

The lie surprisingly slipped through her lips smoothly. That's a first.

Theo's palm came to rest on her forehead. "You are pretty hot, let's get you home." He wrapped his arm around her body before they made their way to his jeep.

Avery strayed behind, not wanting to get in between the couple.

"You could just drop me off at the Camerons. My mom's not home and I don't want to be all alone." Theo nodded in regard.

The drive to the Cameron's wasn't too far, they were there in a good 15 minutes. Eleanor let out a breath as the summer heat beamed across her face.

"Alright, we're here." Theo stated as he faced his girlfriend. "You sure you don't wanna just come with us?"

Eleanor shook her head. "No, it's alright. I promised Sarah I'd see her soon anyway."

"Alright." Theo lent over to place a kiss on her lips and Eleanor reciprocated it. Avery was too busy admiring a certain older boy walking out of the household before them with Topper and Kelce to even react.

Eleanor pulled away. "Alright, bye." She blankly said as she pushed the passenger side open and left Theo, not giving him a chance to respond before shutting the door and rushing into the Cameron home.

"Sarah?" Eleanor yelled out into the corridor. Sarah Cameron came rushing out of the kitchen with a huge grin.

"Hey, pretty girl." She greeted, offering Eleanor a hug to which Eleanor smiled in response.

Sarah always managed to make Eleanor smile no matter what. It was a gift the blonde had, really.

"How are you?" Eleanor asked as they shared a tight hug. Sarah pulled away and shrugged.

"Same old, same old."

"Felt that." Eleanor chuckled.

The girls made their way up to Sarah's room and got comfortable on her bed. A few hours went by before Sarah went silent and started fiddling with her blanket.

Then there it was.

"I heard that you stood behind with the Pogue that Topper was...y'know." Eleanor froze as she turned to look up at Sarah.

Obviously, Sarah knew of John B's name, she only played dumb so that nobody knew of her subtle attraction toward the "enemy."

"Well, yeah, I mean he was just floating in the water — he could've died. I was just being a good person..." Eleanors sentence trailed off.

Sarah gave a suspicious look. "Do you know him? You seemed pretty worried." It was more of an accusation than a question.

Eleanor furrowed her brows. "What, is it illegal to help a Pogue? They're human beings too." She was starting to get offended.

Sarah shook her head. "No, of course not. It's just — you stood with them, and not your friends. Topper was telling me that there's certain lines you can't cross when it comes to loyalty and —"

"No offense Sarah, but I could give a shit what Topper says. My loyalty has never, and will never lie with that douche."

Eleanor was getting annoyed and she couldn't control her anger.

Sarah scoffed. "Look, I know Topper isn't the best person, but I do like him and it's not like he wasn't making a solid point. We're your friends, not them."

Eleanor fought everything inside her to not say that the Pogues were her friends before them.

Her real friends.

So instead, she said, "Y'know what Sarah, you're right. I'll rethink my actions the next time I decide to save a life." She spat.

"That's not what I meant—"

Eleanor was upset and couldn't stay in the vicinity much longer. "Look, I'm gonna go. Gotta get back home anyway, it's pretty late."

Sarah sighed. "I didn't mean to upset you, Elle. I'm sorry, I suck at this communication shit."

Eleanor didn't really care. "It's whatever."

"Elle—"

With that, she left.

Eleanor wanted nothing more than to punch something at that moment. She needed a release.

The dark sky engulfed her as she breathed heavily. She spotted a broken crate on the side of the Cameron's neighbors house and kicked it with a loud shout.

"Fuck. This. Bullsit!" Eleanors words came with every kick as she started to tear up.

A vehicle pulling up caught Eleanor's attention, a tear drop slid out of her left eye and down her cheek.

Eleanor had the worst luck.

The Twinkie rolled past her, the passenger side facing her. JJ's seat...

They both made eye contact as he furrowed his brows at her state.

It was like a scene out of a movie. It felt like everything was suddenly slower than usual and Eleanor was stuck in place.

The light reflected on Eleanor's face, her tears glistening. JJ would give anything to jump out of that van and find out who did that to her.

But his pride wouldn't let him.

Eleanor wished she could take it all back and apologize. There's nothing more that she wished for than to be back inside that Twinkie with her friends...her family.

But her pride wouldn't let her.

Eleanor wiped her tears away as the Twinkie drove past her. She groaned as she ran her hands over her face.

"Fuck!" The crate got kicked once more.

It's safe to say, Eleanor Brooks was over it all.

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i'm backkkkkk ;)

did you guys miss me? jk, but did you miss shameless?? i know i definitely did.

eleanor is very complex and is filled with a ton of guilt and regret, she's too stubborn to make up for it tho.

sigh...

r.i.p crate 🤞

ANYWAY.

see ya later, losers 🙈