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SHALL WE RISE?

act two. 

(chapter twenty-nine, a sweet kiss for my breaking soul)

training centre, 2313.

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THE FINAL DAY OF training passed and it would end with their individual assessments. Instead of ten minutes, it was extended to fifteen and now they had extra time to wow the Gamemakers with their skills, but Valencia was not in the mood. The effects of her dream were still in action and every time Valencia looked over her shoulder, she expected to be transported back to the arena. But she never was. It made her paranoid. 

For training that day, Valencia sat in the corner with Commie, focusing on the fire-making. Commie did most of the work and Valencia just stared at the flickering flames as a million thoughts ran through her head. Commie tried to make her do other stations, but Valencia just kept staring at the mixture of red and orange. The reality that they would be back in the arena once more hit her like a ton of bricks. It wouldn't matter if the plan worked. Some of them were going to die. Die for the cause. Die for the rebellion.

It was just after lunch that the twenty-four Victors' were escorted to the little room that was attached to the gymnasium. They were told to line up in order of district number and so Valencia and Commie made their way between Eight and Ten. Cecilia grabbed Valencia's hand softly, giving it a light squeeze that Valencia appreciated greatly.

Valencia's head began to pound as if someone was hitting it with a sledgehammer repeatedly. Her throat was dry and she was having difficulties breathing. She closed her eyes and brought her knees up, tucking her head between them as she rocked herself slowly. She knew she seemed weak in that moment, but the devils of her past overpowered her insecurities. 

They called Gloss up first and then Cashmere. Valencia took deep breaths as she heard Brutus go into the gymnasium. Fifteen minutes later, Enobaria followed. She could hear the woman from Two bare her teeth at one of guards, causing Valencia to try and swallow the lump in her throat. Beetee was called up next, followed by Wiress. When Finnick's name was called, Valencia's head snapped up and she managed to see him disappear through the door. Mags was up next and nearly everyone in the room wondered what she would do, for she was an eighty-year-old woman. Valencia concluded that she would probably make some fish hooks since she was very good at that.

Five and Six had blown by and Blight was called up next. Valencia watched as Johanna gave him a small smile. Just four more tributes until Valencia's turn. An hour wait. When Johanna got called up, Valencia gave her a thumbs up, in which she returned with a wink. Fifteen minutes later, Woof was called up. When it was Cecelia's turn, Valencia gave her hand a squeeze as she walked up, Cecelia placing a hand on her shoulder as she smiled warmly at her. 

"Flint Commie."

The robotic voice echoed around the waiting room, Commie slowly getting up. Valencia saw him take a deep sigh before he turned around and patted her on the back. She smiled at him as she watched him disappear through the door, flanked by two Peacekeepers. In fifteen minutes, Valencia would be called. She still didn't know what to do. Rage, despair, and yet numbness filled her brain. What if she didn't do anything? What if she didn't give them a show? No, she had to or they'll punish people for it. But they couldn't, right?

"Valencia Barlowe."

Valencia peeked up from the middle of her legs and slowly rose from her seat. The tributes that were left stared at her as she walked towards the door, Peacekeepers meeting her. She swallowed a lump in her throat as she walked through it.

The gymnasium was nearly empty. Most of the gym equipment and exercises had been taken out, the weapons and survival skills being moved to the centre so that the Gamemaker's could see from their balcony. Valencia slowly walked to the middle of the gym, eyeing everything cautiously as she straightened her back and lifted her chin up. She was Valencia Barlowe. Why was she acting so scared? She had a point to prove. A point that she was deadly, that she was dangerous.

"Miss Barlowe, you have fifteen minutes to perform your chosen skill," Plutarch told her up at the balcony, his eyes staring down at her. 

Valencia furrowed her eyebrows as she stared around the room. The blades of the knives were glistening under the spotlight, the spears looking so deadly as they laid on the rack. The bow and arrow was longing for her to go and pick it up. The survival stations practically begged her to go towards them. She looked back up to the Gamemakers, who all looked down at her expectantly. Some of the original Gamemakers who were at Valencia's Games were there, they had seen what she could do. Some were new and were writing down notes as they peered at her. Someone coughed into their hand, clearing their throat as they raised their eyebrows at her. This caused Valencia to chuckle.

"No."

"I beg your pardon?" Plutarch repeated.

"No, I don't think I will," Valencia said, clearing her throat as she mimicked the person who had done so. "You see, I'm not really in the mood."

"It is mandatory—"

"You can my mandatory my ass." Valencia smirked as she saluted to the Gamemakers. "Good day, you lot."

No-one tried to stop her as Valencia began to walk through the back exit, not even the Peacekeepers. She could hear the Gamemakers go into hysterics when she walked out the door, but all Valencia could do was laugh and laugh. They couldn't hurt her, what happens in the individual assessment stays in the individual assessment. All they could do was make her life a living hell in the arena, but her life was already hell. She could manage.

When the elevator doors opened up at the ninth floor, Commie was still standing in his training attire, arms crossed as he spoke to Nova, Delphine, Antares, Ezra, and his stylist. When he heard the doors open, he snapped his head to the side, eyebrows furrowing when he saw her.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Commie asked her. "It can't have been fifteen minutes already."

"Because it hasn't been fifteen minutes, Comm." Valencia smirked as she patted him on the shoulder. "It's been about three, I believe."

"Valencia, what did you do?" Antares asked wearily as he stood up from his seat, folding his arms.

"It's more of what I didn't do," Valencia said. 

"And what didn't you do?" Nova asked her, but she already knew the answer. "Bloody hell, you walked out, didn't you?"

"You know me so well, Nova." Valencia smiled warmly at the woman.

"You walked out?" Delphine snapped, her painted eyebrows going higher than humanly possible. "You walked out?"

"They said I have fifteen minutes to show them my chosen skill and I said no." Valencia shrugged. "And walked out."

"And no-one tried to stop you?" Ezra asked.

"Nope."

"Oh, this is brilliant!" Delphine snapped at her, pinching the bridge of her nose as she began to walk around in circles. "Do you have any idea how terrible this is? It's not even terrible, it's appalling, Valencia!"

"Okay, and?" Valencia asked. "What happens in the assessments stay in the assessments. If anything, they'll just make my life a living hell in the arena... how did you go, Comm?"

"I just threw some knives and spears around," he said as he tried to process her words. "They better give me a high score... it's hard to do that crap when you're fifty-eight."

"Yes, it must be terrible being fifty-eight," Valencia teased.

Delphine was still in utter shock about what Valencia did, still scoffing about it even when dinner was served. Valencia had not changed into normal clothes yet and was planning to scoff down her soup and then go shower, but as she did, Delphine called her back.

"Where are you going? We have the broadcast to watch."

Valencia chuckled to herself as she rubbed her face. Nova, Commie, and Antares had finished their plates and were now walking into the living room. She smirked to herself as she followed them. She knew she would get a very, very low mark. She had to, she didn't give them anything to assess. Delphine flicked the television on and the broadcast was starting. Valencia winced at the sudden appearance of Caesar Flickerman's and Claudius Templesmith's wide, bright, fake smiles. 

"Well, hello!" Caesar greeted as he showed off his pearly white teeth. "And welcome to this year's showing of the scores!"

"Oh, I have been so excited for this!" Claudius hollered. "We have so many young" — Commie scoffed at this — "strong, capable Victors' on our hands."

"This year is definitely going to be interesting," Caesar agreed. "Over the past three days, the tributes have been training continuously, but after individual evaluations, the Gamemakers are finally giving us their scores... let's dive right into it!"

Valencia ran a hand through her hair as Caesar began to read the names of the tributes, a picture of them coming up along with their district number and their score. Normal Careers' usually got an eight-to-ten range, but this was Victors' and so it didn't surprise Valencia when the duos from One and Two got the range of ten-to-eleven. 

Caesar read Beetee's name and he was scored with an eight, Wiress getting a five just after him. When Finnick's name was read, Valencia's heart skipped a beat at the sight of his charming smile that followed. He scored an eleven which was predictable. Mags got a three.

The pairs from Five and Six both flew past without any importance. Blight managed to get an eight whilst Johanna got an eleven. That was also predictable. She was good with an axe and her fiery temper was probably what led to her getting such a high score.

Woof got a two, something Commie said was expected. Everything seemed to be foreseeable this Games. Cecelia got a seven and Valencia smiled down at her lap. And then it was Nine's turn. As they always did, Caesar and Claudius went on a rant about Nine, about Commie and Valencia, and even about Antares and Nova. Commie was close to smashing the television. 

"Flint Commie, the male tribute from District Nine and the Victor of the Thirty-Third Hunger games," Caesar began to say, a picture of Commie coming up as he looked down at his papers. "He has scored... a ten."

Delphine squealed as she launched up in her seat. Commie looked at her like she was crazy, but still, he gave into her tight embrace. Valencia shook her head whilst Ezra shook Commie's hand.

"They didn't have to put in what Games I won," Commie mumbled. "It makes me sound old."

"Now, Valencia Barlowe, female tribute for District Nine and Victor of the Sixty-Sixth Hunger Games," Caesar read from his paper as a picture of Valencia came up on the screen. Valencia began to giggle when she saw Caesar's shocked and somewhat confused face. "She has scored... a one."

Valencia barked out a laugh as Commie shook his head, Nova looking at the screen with wide eyes. Antares was mumbling under his breath whilst Delphine looked absolutely appalled. Ezra cringed when he looked at the number one that was next to her face. Valencia's score must have shocked Caesar too because he was asking the people behind the cameras if he had the right papers. There was a massive difference between getting an eleven like she did nine years ago and the score she just got.

"Well, at least I didn't get zero." Valencia shrugged, leaning back into her seat. "That's got to mean something."

"I think the reason you didn't get a zero is because they don't give out zeroes," Commie told her. "If they did, you would get a zero."

"Way to bring down the mood," Valencia mumbled.

Caesar carried on with the scores. The pairs from Ten got a six and eight whilst Chaff got a nine and Seeder got a seven. Valencia, Nova, Commie, and Antares both leaned forward in their seats when District Twelve was announced. They both got twelve.

"They did it so the others will target them," Commie mumbled under his breath. "At least they didn't get a one..."

Delphine was so upset with Valencia that when she announced it was time for bed, she didn't look her in the eye, not one word as she disappeared. Nova chuckled as she slapped Valencia on the back. Commie sighed as he patted her on the shoulder, walking to his own room. Antares left without any words. 

"It'll be all right," Ezra told her as he pulled her in for a gentle embrace. "It'll be all right..."

Valencia sighed as she left the sitting room and walked through the halls of the apartment before finally getting to her own room. She made a bee-line for the shower and immediately tore her training attire off, jumping under the hot water. And that's when her regret came in. Surely Commie wasn't upset with her about the score. He knew about the plan, he knew that the Games didn't matter. Valencia could handle Delphine being mad at her and Antares had been mad at her for nine years so she was used to it, but Commie. Commie was one of the few people she didn't want to make angry. 

Valencia stepped out of the shower and let the mat that was beneath her feet blow-dry her body with the heating system it had installed in it. The rage and despair she felt was overpowered by the numbness and as she changed into a pair of pyjamas, she stared outside her window and had a sudden urge to breath fresh air. She hadn't been outside since the Parade, but she knew they weren't allowed on the roof. But Valencia didn't care, she was a rule-breaker. 

Slipping a robe on, she crept her way through the apartment, tiptoeing as she tried not to wake the others up. Nova would probably join her, Commie would let her go, Antares would not care, but Delphine was the one Valencia was worried about. She did care for the escort, but sometimes, her emotions were too big. But she did have a heart made of gold, however. 

Valencia crept to the elevator and quietly pressed the button that would make her go to the roof. It went up slowly because Valencia did not want to puke the first time she got fresh air. 

When the elevator dinged and the doors opened, Valencia tightened her robe against her. The roof was barely lit during the night and she could barely make out the silhouette of a small garden in the corner, wind chimes echoing around. There was a few lounge chairs under a gazebo, but Valencia ignored them and went to go sit in the garden. From the faint outlines, she could tell it was a flower garden, vines hanging everywhere. It was peaceful. 

There was no Capitol parties going on down in the streets, there was no reason. The only sounds were the wind chimes, Valencia's sighs of relief... and footsteps.

"I didn't know you went up to the roof," Finnick Odair whispered as he walked closer to Valencia. He was in his sleep attire, hands tucked into his pyjama bottoms's pockets, his hair a complete mess.

"I don't." Valencia sighed as she looked away from the man. "I just needed to get out."

Finnick nodded as he slowly walked towards her, sitting cross-legged beside Valencia as he took a deep breath in, sighing it out. He was fidgety, Valencia could tell. She could tell by the way he played with his fingers, the way he ran his hand through his messy hair repeatedly, the way his eyes kept dancing about.

"What's wrong, Finn?"

"Nothing... nothing is wrong."

"Don't lie to me, please," Valencia begged him gently. "You know you can tell me anything."

"I-I..." Valencia watched Finnick stammer over his words, something that despite nine years of friendship, she barely saw. "I'm... I'm just scared, Lennie. For you."

"Finn, you don't have to worry about me." Valencia sighed, reaching over and holding his fidgety hand. 

"You got a one, Lennie," Finnick told her, looking down at his hand which was being held by her. "How did you even get a one?"

"I walked out," Valencia said quietly that it was a wonder Finnick even heard her. "They said I had fifteen minutes to present my chosen skill and I said no, and walked out."

"This is what I mean, Lennie," Finnick said, his sea green eyes boring a hole into her. "You aren't afraid of taking risks... that could get you killed."

"But it won't and you know it."

Finnick stayed quiet as he averted his eyes to the Capitol streets. For their nine years of friendship, Valencia had never seen Finnick so worried. He was always worried about her, but her getting a one and doing what she did in the assessment, it sent him over the edge. Valencia saw the pain in his eyes. Their wounds, despite being nine and ten years old, they were still open. They were still causing such despair.

"Look at us." Valencia sighed as she looked up at the sky where stars and moon were shining. "We're a bunch of broken souls... when do you think we can finally live again?"

"Never, probably," he said quietly. "I don't think we'll ever be able to live... we'll always carry the scars."

Valencia hummed in agreement, saying, "you know, I haven't gotten a single good night's sleep in years?"

"Same here." he chuckled. "Another negative thing about being a Victor."

Valencia laughed as she looked over to Finnick, finding that he was already looking at her. She swallowed a lump in her throat as she and Finnick stared at each other. It wasn't like a staring contest she had with Antares back at Nine where she threatened to slit his throat. This was different. Much different.

"I'm glad I met you, Lennie," Finnick told her softly. "I really am... you're one of the few people I actually care about."

"I'm glad I met you too, Finn."

Valencia went to go and turn her head when suddenly, Finnick's finger found her chin. He slowly turned her head, forcing her to look at him. And she didn't know how it happened, she didn't even lean in, but somehow in someway, his lips met hers.

Valencia hadn't kissed many people in her life. Her first kiss was behind the school building with her childhood crush. The second was with some random boy that she couldn't remember, but all she knew was that Billie had dared her and Valencia was never one to back down from a dare. The two kisses weren't anything special. But Finnick. Something about Finnick's lips being on her's, it was magical. And she found herself kissing him back with the same amount of softness and gentleness that he did. Her heart was racing and she wasn't sure if this was real. But oh, it was real. But then reality hit her.

No. No, Valencia could not do this. She was not the type to fall in love, she didn't have any room left in her heart to do so. Valencia Barlowe was not the type to fall in love. She saw it as a weakness and so she held only a few close people to her heart, the rest she pushed away. Like Billie. She had pushed Billie away and Billie held most of Valencia's heart. Billie Solace left an aching abyss in her heart that no-one could ever fill except her. But Finnick. No, no but Finnick's. Valencia Barlowe did not have the mental state to fall in love, especially with someone like Finnick Odair, someone who, despite her attraction, she saw as a friend. But it broke that heart ever so slightly when she had to pull herself away from him.

"Finnick, I can't." Valencia panted as she did. "I can't... I'm sorry."

"What? What do you mean?"

"I can't, I don't have room in my heart to love," she said as she tried to catch her breath. "I'm not that person."

"Lennie..." Finnick said softly, his voice breaking a bit at the end of her name.

"I am not made to love, Finnick, I'm a monster—"

"You are not a monster," Finnick said strongly. "You are not some horrible creature."

"Then why do I feel like one?" Valencia nearly cried. "Finn, I'm Valencia Barlowe... I don't fall in love."

"And I'm Finnick Odair and yet I've fallen in love with you," Finnick told her, causing Valencia to blink numerous times. "I always have, since the moment I saw you at the end of your Tour. I've always loved you even if I kind of hated you at the beginning. You've just been too blind to see it."

"Finnick, I can't," Valencia spoke softly, tears now running down her cheeks as she tried to wipe them away. "I am not that type of person. I have an abyss in my heart... it is too big for you to fill."

"At least let me try," Finnick said. "Lennie, you are not the type of person to give up easily, you always take risks. Why not take this one?"

"Your life is not something I will risk," Valencia told him. "I always say and do the wrong things that one day, Snow will kill the people I have let into my heart just like he did with my mother. I do not want to see you die because of my mistakes."

Valencia turned her head away from the man, her mind racing with a million thoughts. More tears ran down her cheeks as she heard Finnick sigh from beside her.

"At least tell me how you feel," he whispered. "Please, tell me how you feel."

"Finnick... I don't know," Valencia said truthfully. "I... feel things for you, but I'm not sure what. I've never felt these things before... I normally feel rage, despair, and numbness, that's all."

"At least I know that this isn't a one-sided thing."

"Oh, Finn." Valencia sighed. "Like I said, we are just broken souls. Our pain is just too overpowering for the likes of love..."

With that, Valencia got up slowly from where she sat in the gardens, Finnick lowering his head to the ground as she released his hand. She forced herself to not look back when she left the roof, tried not to look over her shoulder and see Finnick still sitting down, she tried not to break down when alone in the elevator, tried to not wake everyone in the ninth floor. But as Valencia slowly slid into her sheets, she sobbed and sobbed. Her soul was breaking more bit by bit.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ matz 🎧 !

— for the scores, they weren't shown in the books so i used this website for theorised scores. i changed about two but here is the website:

https://thehungergames.fandom.com/f/p/3343172654596414218