Okay, so here's the thing about robbing villains: it's both ridiculously easy and absurdly risky. You'd think they'd have lasers, booby traps, or even just a halfway decent lock system, but nope. The League of Villains is as secure as a thrift store on clearance day.

Not that I'm complaining.

Their hideout is a crumbling, abandoned warehouse that screams "we're broke, please don't notice us." I mean, it has a giant hole in the roof. Honestly, I'm not sure how they're surviving winter. Maybe they huddle around Dabi for warmth like a flock of half-frozen pigeons.

Anyway, I'm crouched outside a conveniently unlocked window, weighing my odds. On one hand, this place is a goldmine. On the other hand, if I get caught, I'll probably end up on Shigaraki's scratching post. But then again... Santa Deku delivers.

Sliding inside, I'm greeted by exactly what I expected: peeling wallpaper, flickering lights, and a smell that can only be described as "unwashed socks and existential despair." It's perfect.

"Toga, if you drink from the juice carton one more time, I'm dumping it on your head!" Shigaraki's gravelly voice echoes through the halls, followed by Toga's equally high-pitched and unapologetic laughter.

"You won't do it. You're too lazy."

I roll my eyes. They sound like a dysfunctional sitcom family. And while they're busy arguing over juice cartons, I'm busy making my way to their so-called storage room.

Pro tip: villains love to label things. The door says "STORAGE" in big, bold letters. Subtle, right? The lock? Laughable. It takes me, what, three seconds to pick it? I might as well be a locksmith for how easy this is.

Inside, it's exactly what I hoped for: a treasure trove of random tech, stolen gadgets, and questionable contraband. Jackpot.

I start loading my bag, picking out the good stuff—nothing too villainous, of course, just items that can be sold or repurposed for gifts. A fancy laptop, a few cool gadgets, some odd-looking jewelry... Ooh, a box of unopened action figures! Those are definitely going under someone's tree.

Then I hear it: the unmistakable creak of a door opening behind me.

"Who the hell are you?"

I freeze, my hand halfway to another shiny thing, and turn around. Dabi's leaning in the doorway, looking about as impressed as someone who just found out their fast food order was wrong.

"Uh, Santa?" I say, pointing to my suit like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

Dabi blinks. "Santa," he repeats flatly.

"Yup. Big guy, red suit, delivers joy. That's me."

There's a long pause. Then he snorts, a low, gravelly sound that's more "disgruntled smoker" than "merry chuckle."

"Santa's real, huh?" he says, stepping into the room. "And he breaks into villain hideouts to steal our stuff?"

I shrug, shifting my bag behind me. "Well, yeah. Gotta fund Christmas somehow."

He raises an eyebrow. "You're joking."

"Nope." I grin, though it's hidden behind my mask. "You guys hoard all this cool stuff and don't even use half of it. Meanwhile, there are kids out there who don't have anything for Christmas. So, I'm helping."

Dabi stares at me for a moment, his eyes narrowing. "You're stealing from us... for kids?"

"Pretty much." I shrug like it's the most normal thing in the world.

"And you think I'm just gonna let you walk out of here with our stuff?"

I tilt my head. "Honestly? Yeah. I mean, it's Christmas. Are you really gonna torch Santa in a storage room? That feels... Grinchy."

He squints at me, clearly trying to decide if I'm insane or just stupid. Spoiler: it's both.

"Why kids?" he asks suddenly, crossing his arms.

I pause, caught off guard by the question. "Because they deserve better," I say simply. "They didn't ask for this world, you know? They're just... trying to survive it. And if I can make it a little brighter for them, even for one day, then it's worth it."

Dabi doesn't say anything for a moment, just watches me with this unreadable expression. It's unnerving, honestly.

"You're either really brave or really dumb," he mutters finally.

"Why not both?" I offer, flashing him a cheeky thumbs-up.

He groans, dragging a hand down his face. "Fine. Whatever. Take your stupid toys and get out of here."

I blink. "Wait, really?"

"Yeah, but if you mess this up and ruin Christmas for those kids, I'll find you and make sure you regret it," he snaps, pulling something out of his pocket. He tosses it to me, and I barely catch it. It's... a wad of cash?

I stare at it, then at him. "You're giving me money?"

"Don't read into it," he growls, turning toward the door. "Now scram before I change my mind."

For a second, I just stand there, completely stunned. Then I shove the cash into my bag, grab the last of the goodies, and slip out the way I came.

As I sprint into the night, I can't help but grin. "Well, that went better than expected."

Santa Deku: 1. League of Villains: 0.