Shakhi SS Marriage Of Convenience

Chapter Five

Anokhi was helping with the arrangements when she felt the first wave of dizziness. She supported herself against the wall and stood there until the dizzy feeling went away. Her already exhausted body needs water but she can't break her fast until moon comes out and Shaurya comes home.

"What are you doing by standing here? Go and check over the arrangements" Devi instructed Anokhi while she nodded weakly at Devi and moved towards Gayatri and Kanchan.

She was already tensed about that letter. She didn't know how he'll react. She could have done it on any other day but when she visited her Astha mam last week, Astha talked about her memories of how she used to observe fast for Shaan and all the naughty antics Shaurya would do to make her eat or tease her with food. Anokhi thought she'll unite the mother-son duo before Karvachaudh but that cultural thing came between. So, she decided to do on the very day itself.

Anokhi knows it won't be easy for Shaurya to forgot everything and accept Astha again. Even if Astha had her reasons, she left behind a four-year old without mother's love. And Shaan didn't do a proper job of raising him. In a way it was his parents' fault that he has become this way and nothing could bring back the lost years in Shaurya's life. Anokhi doesn't expect Shaurya to readily accept Astha or the truth. She just wanted him to know that he is getting manipulated by his Badi maa.

She planned to stand outside the room and watch his reaction when he reads the letter but now, she was not even sure about his arrival time. Top of that Devi is behind her, asking her to help with arrangements.

Her mind goes back to the times Shaurya has insulted Astha. She also remembered how much Shaurya suffers everyday because of this whole issue. She has seen him living with this pain ever since she came to this house.

An uneasy feeling filled Anokhi as she realized she has made a mistake by placing the truth in front of Shaurya on this auspicious day. She shouldn't have done it with a letter. She should have conveyed him in person, console him, make him understand. She placed a truth that could shatter a person in front of him and she will be not even there.

With worried eyes, she rushed towards their room to take the letter before Shaurya could see it. When she walked inside their room, she was shocked to find the letter and box missing from the bed.

"Lagtha hai Sir ne letter pad liya" (Sir has read the letters it seems)

She sat on the bed; her eyes moisten. She shouldn't have done this in first place. She took the letters from Astha without her knowledge. She planned this whole thing without anyone's knowledge. And now she has messed the whole thing.

Tears pooled her eyes and crashed down her cheeks as she called Shaurya. He didn't pick her call. After trying ten more times, she finally gave up. She quickly cleared her tears and called Shaan, asking for Shaurya whether he called him or not. Shaan who went to Kapurthala to spend time with Astha was surprised by Anokhi's question but answered in no. Anokhi hanged up the call. She went down to look for Malkan. She found him sitting in driver's office.

"Malkan ji?"

"Ji, Bhabhi. What do you need?"

"Do you know where Shaurya sir is?"

"He left in hurry before some time, Bhabhi ji. He didn't say where he is going"

"Accha" Anokhi paused for a moment, "Do you know where he goes if he's very frustrated?"

Malkan thought for a moment.

"He used to wander around Bhabhi ji. He always goes alone. I once heard him mentioning about Agasthya garden. Once he didn't come home the whole night and didn't pick any of our calls. All of us were worried but he came home the next day morning. When Devi madam asked him, after lot of pressure he said he was at Agasthya garden, to clear his thoughts"

"Can you take me there?"

"Ji, Bhabhi ji. Sir ko kuch hua hai kya?" (Yes, Bhabhi ji. Did something happen to sir?)

"I'll tell you everything later. Can you take me there?"

"Yes, Bhabhi ji. I'll get the car now"

Anokhi sent a text to Kanchan saying she's out to get Shaurya and handle Devi if she notices her missing. She felt dizzy but right now reaching Shaurya was important. She got in the car and hoped to find Shaurya before he does something he regrets in anger.

~ * ~

Agasthya garden is a private property of the Sabherwals. Shaurya bought it so that he can move out after his college days but Devi didn't let him move out. Whenever his mind is messed, he would come here, spend some time to clear his thoughts and then go home.

Shaurya parked his car in front of the house. With those letters and diary in hand, he walked lifelessly towards the garden and sat on a bench, his eyes lifeless, lump in his throat and face filled with pain.

He placed the letters and diary on the bench in dejection, his mind racing with the images of his Badi maa. What Astha did, however she may justify it, was wrong. She should have fought for her son. She shouldn't have let him grew up longing for his mother. His father should have guided him properly, not immersed in his own pain and alcohol. Though he read the letter, his anger on his parents is still there.

But this time it was his Badi maa who shattered Shaurya's soul. The woman he worshipped, the woman whom he gave his mother's place is the very woman who is responsible for every wrong that happened in his life. She made his whole life, his existence a lie.

A lone tear slipped out of his red eyes followed by many as a sob chocked his throat. His mind raced with images of his time with his Badi maa right from childhood to the present day. His mind questioned his own existence as he finally let his pain out.

"Kyun kiya Badi maa aap ne aese mere sath? Kyun?" He fell on his knees and screamed into the silence of night. (Why did you do all these to me Badi maa? Why?)

~ * ~

Anokhi relaxed a bit on seeing Shaurya's car parked in the said property. She got down from the car in hurry and started to look for Shaurya. That's when Shaurya's scream reached her ears. She hurried in that direction and found him on his knees by the garden.

"Sir" Anokhi rushed towards Shaurya, got on her knees and placed her hand on his shoulder.

Shaurya looked at Anokhi with tear filled eyes. He held onto the only person he could find for comfort in that state. He hugged Anokhi and let his tears out while Anokhi was shocked.

"Sir, I'm so sorry. Mujhe aap se aese bathana nahi chahiyeh tha" She let her own tears out as she patted his back, trying to console him. (Sir, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you this way)

He didn't say anything but hugged her harder, his mind could only think of his Badi maa and her betrayal. Anokhi didn't say anything in return but stayed put in the same place, consoling Shaurya with her silence.

"Badi maa ne aesa kyun kiya mere sath?" He broke his silence after a long time, "Mein ne un se meri khud ki maa se zyadha pyaar kiya, yehan tak hi unhe hi mera maa bana diya. Par unhon ne mere sath... mera zindagi ko ek jhoot bana diya" (Why did Badi maa did all these to me? I have loved her more than my mother. I have even made her my mother. But she... She made my life a lie)

Anokhi patted Shaurya's back and let him spill his pain.

"I was very close to my mother in childhood. Maa, Papa aur mein, we had lot of love among us. When she left us, I cried and begged her to take me along with her. I have longed for her presence and love since childhood. I wanted her near me, in every step of my life. After she left, dad got immersed in his pain and alcohol that mujhe un honhe sambala hi nahi. Badi maa mere sahara ban ke aayithi. Mujhe sambala, care kiya, apne beta jaise pyaar kiya. Jo meri maa nahi de payi usse Badi maa ne diya. Un hon ne jo bhi Maa ke against kaha, mujhe voh sach laga... lekin" (She was the one who comforted me. She comforted me, cared for me, loved me like her own son. What my mom couldn't give, Badi maa gave me. She's the one who turned me against my mother... But) He broke their hug and showed her the letters "When you left these for me, after reading this, I feel as if my whole life has been a lie. Parents ne chod diya, Badi maa ne mera pura zindagi ko ek jhoot bana diya. Mera soch, mera harkath, mera sab kuch aaj... aaj" (Parents left me, Badi maa made my life a big lie. My thoughts, my behavior, my everything... Today)

Shaurya chocked on his words. Anokhi was pained to see Shaurya in such a broken state. She cupped his face between her hands and made him look at her. His wet eyes looked into her teary ones.

She moved her head sideways, asking him not to cry. She wiped his tears while their eyes are still locked.

"Sir, aese ro the nahi" (Sir, don't cry) She wiped the fresh tears that escaped his brown orbs. She moved closer to him and made him rest his head on her shoulder. With one hand she caressed his hair softly while the other held his head in place by holding his cheek.

Shaurya moved his head a little down and closed his eyes, her quicken heartbeat calmed him down. Anokhi was shocked when Shaurya placed his head above her bosom but relaxed as she saw him calming down.

After few moments, Shaurya moved away and sat on his own, facing Anokhi. He looked calmer than before. Anokhi noticed that Shaurya didn't meet her eyes.

"Sir?"

"Hmm" He replied still lost in thoughts.

"Ek bath bolun?" (Shall I say something?)

Shaurya looked up at Anokhi and nodded his head.

"I'm sorry that mein ne aap se is tarah se sab kuch kaha aur voh bhi aaj ke din" She said looking at him. He stared back at her without saying a word. So, she continued. (I'm sorry that I told you everything in this way and that too today)

"Sir, mein yeh nahi keh rahi hoon ki aap ek din se Astha mam ko maaf kardhe(Sir I'm not saying that you forgive Astha mam right away). The pain you undergo from childhood, your hurt and anger, everything is justified. Isliyeh nahi diya tha mein ne in letters ko. (I didn't give you these letters for that) I just wanted you to know that you are getting manipulated by your Badi maa. I wanted you to see the truth. I didn't want you to live in darkness and suffer. That was my objective. That is why I took these letters from Astha mam without her knowledge. That is why I wanted you to tell you everything par himmath hi nahi mil rahi thi. Par aap ko dardh mein bhi nahi dekh sakthi. Isliyeh mein yeh sab kuch kiya. Ab aage aap ko hi decision leni hai. Mein aap ko Astha mam ko maaf karne ke liye nahi bolungi. Par sach ko dheere dheere swikaar karne ke liye hi bol rahi hoon" (I wanted to tell you everything but I couldn't bring myself to do so. I can't see you in pain. That's why I did this. I'm not asking you to forgive Astha mam. But I want you to start accepting the truth)

Shaurya didn't speak for a long time. Anokhi could say that he is thinking in mind by looking at him. She was exhausted beyond words and she was hungry too. She didn't feel it until silence reminded her that.

"Chalo, ghar chalthe hain" Shaurya said after a long silence. He stood up and composed himself. (Come, let's go home)

"Kya karne wale ho aap?" Anokhi asked, scared of how Shaurya will react in front of everyone. She stood up. (What are you going to do?)

"Mein j-"

Before Shaurya could complete, Anokhi's stomach growled in hunger. She looked at Shaurya, embarrassed. That is when it hit Shaurya that his wife has observed fast for him and he hasn't broken her fast yet.

Shaurya looked up and saw that moon has come out. He heaved a sigh, took the diary and letters and put it inside the box. He then took Anokhi's hand in his other hand and dragged her towards his car. He opened the door, placed the box inside and took out the water bottle.

"Sir, yeh aap kya kar rahe hain?" Anokhi asked, following his action. (Sir, what are you doing?)

"Tumhara vrath thod raha hoon. If I ask you to drink water toh tum maano gi nahi. Now open your mouth" Shaurya said, trying to hold Anokhi but she moved a step back. He looked at her in question. (Breaking your fast. If I ask you to drink water then you won't. Now open your mouth)

"Ghar jaake karthey hain(Let's do it in home). I want to complete the ritual like everyone else does"

Shaurya was too tired to argue and he knows that Anokhi was exhausted. He asked Malkan to drive them back to Sabherwal mansion. As the car started towards the mansion, Shaurya looked out the window, his mind racing with thousand thoughts.

His thoughts broke when he felt Anokhi holding his arm. He looked at her in question while she smiled at him in assurance. She moved closer to him, while holding his arm and rests her head against him. Shaurya was shocked for a moment but felt thankful for her support. He looked down at her. She had her eyes closed and a gentle smile on her lips. A small smile reached Shaurya's lips as he closed his eyes.

~ * ~

Thank you for reading.

Nan ~